There's no way in hell I can go back to sleep now.

Robin is curled up on my bed and gets on my lap, as he senses something is wrong.

I run my fingers through my hair, my mind racing. How could this have happened?

He must have been following us. Or had someone follow us. How else would he have known that I showed Casey my thinking spot? Was he there, spying on us? How did we miss the signs?

Casey must have gone there after she dropped me off. Why, Casey, why would you go there by yourself so late?

I grab my phone again and sit on my bed. My heart is racing and I squeeze my eyes closed, willing myself not to have another episode. I have to stay strong and in control.

I scroll through my contacts and my finger hovers over Olivia's name. I want to call her, to tell her what is happening and ask for help. We could work it out to where he wouldn't know I altered anyone. I know we could.

But I can't do that. If he was able to follow us to my thinking spot, then he has eyes and ears everywhere and would surely know. And it would cost Casey her life. I can't do that.

I drop the phone back on my bed and curl up in a ball, grabbing Robin and cuddling him to my chest. I am so scared right now. I am angry, worried and frightened all at once and I don't know which emotion to give into first.

Somehow I make it through the next couple of hours. When the phone rings again I grab it and sit up. My hands are shaking so badly I can barely hold it.

"Hello, Alex."

His voice rattles me deep down inside. It drills into my brain and colds me right down to the core.

"Your friend says hi. I think she really wants to go home."

"Let me talk to her," I rush out.

"I don't think so," comes the reply.

"How do I know she's even alive?"

"You don't. You just have to take your chances."

I start to shake again and have to hug myself. I swallow harshly. "What do you want?"

"You better takes notes. This has to be done exactly as I ask."

I grab a notepad from my nightstand. I'm growing quite angry and want him to get on with it. "Fine. I'm ready."

"I need to leave the country. I want fifty thousand cash. Enough to be comfortable for awhile. I know you have it. And I want it."

I throw the pen down. "Money? That's all you want? This is all about money?"

"No. It's not all I want. But I need it and I know you have it. I also know you might be inclined to give it to me to get your friend back."

I don't care about money; it means nothing to me. It's not worth a life, and certainly not Casey's life.

I don't even hesitate, "It's yours. What else do I have to do?"

"I will text you an address. I want you to bring it there in a pink backpack. And only a pink backpack. You will come alone and leave it in front of the barn."

"Are you going to release Casey at that time? I'm not giving you anything until you release her."

"You don't call the shots here. I do. You will get her back when I say, as long as you follow instructions."

I close my eyes and open them again. "What else has to be done?"

"I want Liam Connors released and all charges against him dropped."

I feel myself stiffen. There is absolutely no way I can deliver that; no way.

"That's impossible," I explain breathlessly. "He's on trail and being held in jail. There's absolutely no way I can do that. It's one hundred percent impossible."

"Well you better make it possible," he snaps at me. I can hear frustration in his voice. Frustration and desperation.

"I can't do that. I would if I could. I would do that to save Casey. But there's absolutely no way I can accomplish that." Short of walking into the jail and releasing him, I'm telling the truth.

He doesn't respond and for a moment I am afraid he hung up. My voice breaks. "Hello? Please, I can do anything else. Please don't hurt Casey. I am willing to do anything but I can't get Connors released. Please. You have to understand that."

I'm becoming desperate too. I need to reason with him. If there is any reason left within him.

"I'll give you more money," I try desperately. "Name your price. Whatever you want." I start to cry. He isn't answering me. "Please."

Suddenly he starts to laugh. "Oh my dear, Alex. That is so cute. You are so desperate to save your friend. I guess I should be impressed."

"Please," I try again. "I don't want to play any games. I want Casey back and I want this to be over for both of us."

"I want you to go on live TV and tell the whole state of New York that you're a coward and a sham. I want you to tell them how you cried when we touched you. I want you to tell them how you ran away into witness protection. I want you to ruin yourself."

More tears are coming now, in a steady flow. I can't do that. I can't. "Please," I sob. "I can't do it. I can't do that."

"What's the matter, Alex? Don't want people to know who you really are? Take off your mask, Alex. Show everyone your true colors. Like you showed me. You fooled me for too long. You'll never fool me again."

I scrunce my face up in confusion. I know I know him from somewhere...I know I do.

"Who are you?" I demand.

"If you follow through, I will reveal myself to you. I know you like to be in control. But I'm in control now. And this is what is going to happen. Tomorrow at two PM I want you on our local FOX affliate. I want you to read the script I send you. And if you stray this time the way you did before, there will be deadly consequences."

I squeeze my eyes closed. I don't know if I can do it. Casey is my best friend and I love her, but I don't know if I can commit career suicide and ruin my name the way he wants me to.

Why is he so bent on destroying my life? Who is he, and what could I have done that was so bad he feels I deserve this?

"Are you clear on that, Alex? After I see the broadcast, I will text you an address to bring the money. Come directly there from the news station. As long as everything goes without a hitch, I will release Casey. If things go south...then you'd better bring the Medical Examiner with you."

I swallow around the lump in my throat again and nod even though he can't see it.

I know I have no choice. If our roles were reversed, Casey would do what he asked to save me. So I have to do it. I have to do everything he asks.

"I will do everything you ask. Just please, don't hurt her."

He laughs, sending a shiver down my spine. "It's going to be pretty cold tonight. Hope your friend can stay warm. Bye bye, Alex. I will see you tomorrow." Then he disconnects the call.

I get up off my bed and begin to pace, my mind whirling. I angrily toss my phone onto my bed and drop to the floor, clutching the edge of my bed and crying. I cry so hard and for so long I'm absolutely positive I won't have any tears left.

By the time my tears subside, I'm lying curled up in a ball on my bedroom floor. I have the hiccups from crying and roll onto my back, staring up at my ceiling fan.

This can't be happening; it just can't be happening. I have to wake up in my bed and discover this was all a terrible nightmare.

Wake up, Alex. Wake up!

But it isn't a nightmare. The nausea rising in my stomach and my pounding headache tells me this is very much real.

I don't care about the money; really, I don't. I would rather not give a monster fifty thousand dollars but I'm definitely willing to do it. Going on TV and saying those things though...I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can make myself do it.

And that scares me, because if I don't then I know he will kill Casey.

The logical part of me is telling me to call Olivia and Elliot and ask them to come to my apartment. Have them run a trace on Casey's phone. They could probably have her back tonight. Take Ski Mask into custody and end this whole thing.

But he told me to follow directions exactly. I can't take any chances. I would never forgive myself if I got Casey killed.

These next hours are going to be the longest of my life.

.2

I take the next day off, and I call in for Casey too and tell them she is sick so no one will suspect anything. I spend the entire morning in kind of a daze. I keep second guessing myself and I almost give in and call Olivia and Elliot several times.

At around noon I head to my bank. I'm extremely nervous and I hope it doesn't show. I stop at the sporting goods store and buy a pink backpack; Ski Mask had specified it had to be pink. I know I have to remain calm and not suspicious at the bank. Withdrawing this much money throws up red flags anyway, and everyone at the bank knows me.

I walk into the bank as calmly and normally as possible. My hands are sweaty and shaking so I cross my arms against my chest so no one will notice. There's a long line, of course. And the longer I have to stand in line, the more nervous I'm going to get.

Finally it's my turn at the window. I recognize the girl working but can't recall her name. She regards me with a smile. "Miss Cabot, how can I help you?"

I smile and try desperately to remain calm. "Good afternoon. I need to make a withdrawal from one of my accounts." I grab a withdraw slip and quickly scribble it out, then slide it across the counter to her.

She looks at the slip and her eyes go wide. "Of course, Miss Cabot. I just need a few minutes."

She hurries away from the counter and I stand there nervously, drumming my fingers on the counter. I think about Casey and hope she is okay.

I feel sick at the thought of what I have to do next. I haven't yet received his "script" but I know already it's going to be one of the hardest things I've had to do.

The girl at the counter returns and asks me to step aside and talk to her manager. I feel the knot in my stomach tightening. Why couldn't this be an easy in and out?

" Miss Cabot, nice to see you again," the manager says, shaking my hand. Her name tag declares her to be Tonya.

"Is there a problem here?" I ask, my patience at its end. "I have somewhere I need to be."

I probably shouldn't have said that.

"Of course not, but a withdrawal that size in cash takes some time. You understand." She looks at me carefully, as if trying to get a read on me.

Bank employees are trained to be suspicious of large withdrawals from wealthy clients. I know that. They are supposed to stall, to read body language, to ask questions. To try and gauge whether or not they are being extorted.

God I hope they can't read me.

"Very sizable withdrawal today," Tonya says. "May I ask if everything is all right?"

I plaster on my best fake smile and say. "Yes. I am buying a sports car and need to pay the seller in cash."

I must have been convincing, because next I'm asked if I would like an escort to my car which I agree to. I am given the cash in a duffel bag and after I'm escorted to my car, I grab my phone.

I text Casey's number. I got your money. Send me my script.

I only have to wait a few minutes to hear back.

Check your email, is the reply.

I wait a few minutes then pull up my email. Sure enough there is one from Casey's phone, with an attachment. I quickly open it and my eyes read the ugly words faster than my brain can process them.

I'm going to be done after this. These words aren't career ending but I won't have the guts to face anyone after this airs.

I get to the station about fifteen minutes early and tell the station manager it's an emergency and there's something I need to tell the people of Manhattan. He talks to the afternoon news anchors and within minutes I'm getting a microphone clipped on.

My hands are shaking again. I can't believe I'm doing this.

What if I do all this and he kills Casey anyway? All of this would be for nothing.

I open the attachment again on my phone. I will have to read off the screen. I don't have it memorized.

It's two minutes after two when we go live. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm introduced by the news anchors and then given the floor to say my piece.

Here it goes. There's no turning back now.

I clear my throat and swallow and start to speak, looking directly into the camera closest to me.

"I'm Alexandra Cabot, assistance district attorney with the Special Victims Unit in Manhattan. As most of you know, recently I, along with my colleague Casey Novak, were abducted and held prisoner for over two weeks. I'm here to tell you what you don't know."

My voice breaks and I have to close my eyes and count to ten before I can go on. I know he is watching me. Watching me and probably laughing, relishing in my pain.

"I was in witness protection for over a year. I was shot, because my relentless pursuit for Justice is more important than anything else in my life. I was hidden away, given a different name, and the handful of people who cared about me were left to think I was dead. I started my new life, made friends and had relationships and tossed them aside like they meant nothing to me. Because they didn't. I was lonely and used anyone I could to try and ease the loneliness. Then when I was done with them, I moved on."

A year makes its way down my cheek. How does he know these things? How does he know so much about my life in Wisconsin?

I clear my throat and start again. "I came back to New York. Not for my friends or family, but for myself. Because I still couldn't let it go. Justice was still all I cared about."

I stop talking, knowing this next part is going to be the worse. I have to force myself to continue.

"I'm a coward. When we were taken, I let Casey get the worst of it. I was too afraid to talk or fight back. I talk a tough game in the courtroom. Everyone thinks I'm one of the strongest people on earth. But I begged for my life everyday and let them hurt Casey to spare me. I cried when they..." I swallow harshly. "I cried when they touched me."

I look up at the camera, tears coming freely now. "So I'm here to say that I'm not what you think. I only do for others who can do for me in return. Everything I have ever done has been calculated and meant to get me to a higher position. Because that's all I care about. I step on people every day, push them down to get me where I have to go. I've forced people to relive their worst nightmares because it would benefit me and my career."

I don't think I can go on. I'm starting to shake now, and relieved to see I am nearly done with this awful speech.

"I'm Alexandra Cabot, and I'm a fraud."

I'm finally finished and I rush off the stage as quickly as possible. I can feel several sets of eyes on me but I don't care. All I care about is getting this over with.

Those were lies; all lies. I always tried to help Casey when we were being held. I never begged for my life.

But I did put my career first, more times than I should have.

Well not now. I'm redeeming myself now.

I literally run to my car and once safely inside, I let myself cry again. Tears of fear and frustration. I have no idea what I'm going to do now...how I'm going to come back from this.

My phone rings, startling me. I don't even look at the caller ID before I answer. "Did you see it? I did what you asked."

"Alex? I just saw. What the hell is going on?"

My heart drops to my feet. It's not Ski Mask. It's Olivia.

"Olivia, I can't talk right now." I disconnect the call without another word.

I lean against the steering wheel and try to compose myself. I desperately wish for the phone to ring; it's taking too long for him to contact me. What if something happened and the broadcast didn't go live? Or what if he was playing me this whole time?

To my immense relief, the phone rings only moments later.

"Very good performance, Miss Cabot. Have to say I am impressed. I didn't think you would go through with it. Well, you have, and I'm a man of my word so...I will text you an address to drop off the money. I will release Casey just as soon as the money is in my hands."

He hangs up, without giving me a chance to respond. I wait about five minutes for the text. I don't recognize the address but a quick punch into the GPS tells me it's twenty minutes away.

I take a deep breath and say a silent prayer, even though I'm not the praying kind. I turn the key and start the ignition when a knock on my window makes me jump.

Olivia. And she does not look happy.

I hit the button and make the window go down enough to talk to her. "Olivia, I can't- "

"Unlock the door, Alex. You aren't going anywhere. We need to talk."

I shut just put the car in gear and get out of there as quickly as I can. But I don't have it in me to fight off Olivia. Sighing, I hit the door locks and Olivia quickly gets in the passenger side.

She looks at me and immediately reaches over and turns the car off, removing the key right from the ignition. She looks me right in the eyes. "You're not at work. Casey isn't at work. And that little speech you did...didn't exactly look like it was your free will. You need to tell me exactly what is going on here, Alex."

I look away from her and her eyes fall on the duffel bags on my backseat. Without even asking, she reaches in the back and partially unzips a bag. When she sees what is inside, she looks back at me in shock. "This is ransom money, isn't it? They take Casey?"

All I can do is nod, looking straight ahead.

"And they made you go on TV?" Again i nod. "You can't pay the ransom, Alex. You can't do anything else they asked you to."

I turn and look at her. "Of course I do. I don't want him to kill Casey. Please, just get out of the car and let me go. This is my choice. My choice. And you can't talk me out of it."

"I can't let you do it, Alex." She grabs her phone from her purse. "Where are you supposed to bring the money to?"

I can't tell her. She can't stop me. "Olivia, you can't stop me. I have to do this. Get out of my car, please. If he knows I have anyone with me, he will kill Casey. I don't have much time."

She makes no attempt to remove herself from my car. I'm growing angry. "Olivia! Get out of my car!"

Her eyes are still locked on mine. "Where are you taking the money, Alex?" She asks again. And then her eyes move to the GPS unit in my dashboard. The GPS unit that clearly displays the address.

I start to panic again, and the only thing I can think of is to scream at Olivia to get out of the car. She finally relents and as soon as she's out of the car, I peel out of the parking lot and am on my way.

My heart is pounding so loud I can feel it in my head. My hands grip the steering wheel so tightly they are turning white. This is going to end one of two ways - either I'm leaving with Casey or she's already dead.

I arrive at the address about fifteen minutes later. It's a farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere; overgrown yard with no neighbors in sight. I roll down the long driveway slowly, trying to take in as much about it as I possibly can.

I was told to leave the money in front of the barn. I pull up to the barn and stop the car, then I grab the duffel bags from the back seat. I waste no time dragging them in front of the barn. Then I stand back by the car and wait.

I'm terrified. Out in the open like this, I could be shot at or attacked.

Only a few minutes later the barn door opens. My breath catches in my throat and I hold my breathe. Ski Mask emerges from within the barn, wearing the same mask and black pants and jacket he wore at the warehouse.

I feel pure hatred towards him. He has a gun and points it at me as he crouches down to check that all his money is there.

Having a gun pointed at me makes me freeze in place. It takes me right back to when I was shot, and my entire body starts to tremble.

I have to be stronger than this; I have to be.

"It's all there. Now take me to Casey," I shout at him.

He stands back up and takes a menacing step towards me. I instinctively step back, my back hitting my car.

And then to my surprise he reaches up and removes his mask.

As soon as I see who it is, I feel my knees might buckle underneath me.

It's Jay, the first man I dated as Emily not long after I got to Wisconsin. It was a short lived affair, but very memorable. He became obsessed with me. We slept together a few times and when I broke up with him, he couldn't take no for an answer.

"Jay..." I breath out. "How could you do this?"

"Your whole life is a lie, Alex. After you dumped me, it wasn't hard to find out who you really were. You lied to me, and those other men you dated. Everything you said was a lie. You're a liar and a whore. How can you make love to a man and lie to his face?"

"I couldn't tell you who I was. You know that, Jay. Is this all to get back at me for breaking up with you?"

"People need to know who people like you really are. It was easy to find Adam. He was the one your friend hit in the face. He had the connections I needed. We just had to get you back to New York. Making sure Connors was caught was all part of the plan."

"And Casey? Why her? She had nothing to do with it. She just had to prosecute the case. Why ruin her life too?"

Instead of answering, he leads me into the barn and points to a horse stall. There I see Casey. She's chained up to a pole in the stall and has tape on her mouth but she's very much alive. And looks relieved to see me. I immeaditely run into the stall and he tosses me a key for the locks on the chains. I rip the tape off Casey's mouth and ask if she's okay. She nods, staring at me in disbelief.

I have a million questions I want to ask Jay. I want a complete explanation and I want it now.

But something tells me we should just get out of here as quickly as possible.

I quickly unlock the chains and Casey gets to her to feet quickly. She does look unharmed but pretty shaken up. She nods as if to assure me she is okay, and I turn my attention to Jay.

"Please...you got what you wanted. Let us go."

We stare each other down. At first I think he's going to draw his gun again. But then he steps aside and motions for us to get out of the stall. I grab Casey's arm and we waste no time getting out.

Then all hell breaks loose.

We have just gotten out of the stall when we three police officers run into the barn, screaming and shouting. I freeze in place and see Olivia and Elliot just outside the barn door, guns raised as well.

Everything seems to he in slow motion. I spin around to look at Jay. He starts to raise his gun and I scream out, "No! Stop!" I don't know if I'm speaking to the police or to Jay.

Instinct tells me to run, and Casey pulls on my arm trying to get me to move. "We have to go! Alex, we have to go!"

The police are getting closer to Jay, yelling at him to drop the gun.

I have just enough time to turn and look at him again before he shoots.

I close my eyes, anticipating the hot, searing pain of lead entering my body. I remember exactly how it feels and I brace myself for it.

But it doesn't come.

I open my eyes, and watch as Casey falls to the ground. It takes a moment for my brain to process that he shot her instead of me.

She falls onto the barn floor, a spot of blood rapidly growing bigger on her lower back.

I'm slow to react. I watch two of the officers tackle Jay, and he drops the gun. They are shouting at him, and he seems to give no resistance as they haul him to his feet.

Suddenly I'm on my knees next to Casey, tears running down my cheeks. "Casey no, I'm so sorry," I sob.

Elliot and Olivia are at my side within seconds, and I angrily push Olivia away when she tries to comfort me. I glare at her. If she has just left me alone...we could have gotten out. This wouldn't have happened.

Elliot is checking Casey over and he looks at Olivia frantically. "We don't have time to wait for a bus." She nods at him and I watch as he picks Casey up gently. He runs to the car with her, me and Olivia right on his heels.

Olivia is on her phone, letting the hospital know we are coming. Elliot puts Casey in the back and jumps in the driver's seat. Me and Olivia both climb in the back.

"Casey, can you hear me?" I ask, pulling her head into my lap. She's bleeding everywhere. The entire back seat is becoming soaked with blood.

She opens her eyes and looks at me. Her eyes look glassy and I tell her it's going to be all right even though I'm not sure that it is.

"Alex..." she says weakly. "It doesn't hurt. I'm okay. It doesn't hurt."

I don't say so, but I know that means she's not okay.

"Casey," Olivia says gently. "Casey, can you move your legs for me?"

Casey doesn't say anything at first. Then when she finally does, her voice is full of fear and confusion. "I can't feel my legs. I can't feel my legs. Alex, why can't I feel my legs?"

She starts to cry and keeps asking over and over again.

And all I can do is lie to her all the way to the hospital.