A police officer and his partner stood in front of a table at the police station. At that table sat Bugs Bunny, a battered-looking nervous wreck who seemed so unlike the infamous Bugs Bunny of the cartoons.
"Mr. Bunny, where were you last night at 9 PM?"
Bugs put a finger to his buck teeth in thought. "Last night at 9? Well... I reckon I must'a been asleep, Mac."
The officer was about to move onto the next question when Bugs suddenly changed his answer.
"No, wait. D'at was the night before last night. Last night at 9 I was..." Bugs narrowed his eyes, scanning the room in a confused manner. "I was... Don't rush me!"
"Nobody's rushing you, Mr. Bu-"
"Yer rushin' me wit' yer eyes!" Bugs relaxed just as abruptly as he'd become agitated. "Last night at 9 I think I was... uh..." The rabbit chuckled nervously and scratched his head. "Well, uh, to be entirely honest, Doc; I don't remember much of last night to begin with."
"Then just tell us what you remember to start."
"Hm... Last night I was at d'e studio. Dunno why, exactly; I t'ink I was lookin' at today's script. When I looked over at the clock, it was around 8:50 or somet'ing. I decided d'at I'd better go home since we weren't gonna be recoiding ag'in 'til today." Bugs paused. "... D'en d'ere was d'is... sharp pain in my head, and darkness. I woke up at home d'is morning. D'at's all I remember, honest."
"A sharp pain in your head?"
Bugs nodded. "D'ey're not unusual for me. Had a real bad t'ree days two mont's ago - the headaches are a constant reminder of d'em."
"Are you having a headache right now?"
"Yessir. It's not so bad right now, d'ough. Sometimes it gets t'be unbearable. I s'pose maybe it got real bad and I fainted last night, so someone carried me home."
"Do you take medication for these headaches?"
"Yessir. Coh-dee-nee and, eh... What's it called... Novo-pee-ree-dawl?"
"Novo-Peridol?"
"Yeah, d'at stuff."
The officer scribbled that down on a notepad. "I see. Did you take any Novo-Peridol last night?"
"No sir, I left it at home. I figured it wasn't such a big deal; to not take it for just one day. ... Say, d'ya have any idea what it's for?"
The officer gave Bugs a weird look.
"I was never told what it was prescribed for. What is it?"
"Novo-Peridol is an anti-psychotic drug."
Bugs froze up a little. "Eh... An... An anti-psychotic drug? So I'm psychotic?"
"I'm not liable to make a comment on your mental health, Mr. Bunny, at least not without your medical records and advice or notes from a professional. I'm simply here to ask the questions I need answers to."
Bugs' brow furrowed a bit - he was noticeably concerned by this new information.
"Do you recall seeing Mr. Gonzales at all last night?"
"Uh... My head hoits, Doc. A lot. Could we take a break?"
The officer didn't respond. He looked impatient.
Bugs sighed. "Fine. Yes, I do recall seeing Speedy last night. We didn't say anyt'ing, d'ough. Well... No, wait, he did say somet'ing."
"What did he say?"
"He told me... d'at I did a good job..." Bugs fell silent and bowed his head. "... I... I can't believe d'at he's..."
"I understand this loss must be hard on you, Mr. Bunny."
An awkward silence filled the interrogation room until the officer's partner took over.
"Mr. Bunny, where are those injuries from?"
"Pahdon?"
"The scars and bruises. Where are they from?"
Bugs gulped and averted his now-wide eyes. "That's a... personal matter, Doc. Besides, they're all old news."
"Really? That black eye you've got looks awfully fresh."
Bugs looked back up at his questioner. "What are you implying?"
"Well, we do know that there was a struggle before the victim was killed."
"Dude, the guy's like, d'is small. How could d'is black eye even have anyt'ing to do with him? He comes up to my ankle at best and his fist is the size of the tip of my pinky finger."
The partner dismissed Bugs' argument. "... and you seem to have a surprisingly faulty and hole-filled memory of last night."
"I didn't know I was talking to two opposing lawyers and that I was on the witness stand. Which one of you's got the name 'Finch' embroidered on his shoit?"
"Mr. Bunny, be serious."
"No. I'm sick of being serious. I have t'be serious every day for the TV show I'm acting for. Now I dunno whed'er or not you're trying to accuse me of moidoiring Speedy, but if you are, you'd better cut it out, Doc."
"Nobody's accusing you of anything yet, Mr. Bunny."
"Yet. So you're not accusing me yet, but you are insinuating that you t'ink I killed him, huh? Is d'at it?"
"Honestly, I didn't know what to think until you brought up the headaches and the anti-psychotic."
"Please, describe your assumption to me while I count how many times I feel the need to care." Bugs said offhandedly and started munching away on a carrot.
"I think you killed him yourself, whether you remember it or not."
"Not a big fan of me, are you, Doc? So what was it that set you off? The cartoon in which I teased some Aboriginals? Or was it the cartoon in which I outsmarted the Japanese soldiers?"
"Listen here, Mr. Bunny. You cut the shit, and maybe I won't beat a confession out of you."
"Lis'n here, 'Mr. Police Officer, Sir.' I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm fairly certain I could sue you fer d'at."
"That's enough." The first officer to question Bugs intervened. "That's all the questions we have for now, Mr. Bunny. You can leave now, but don't go on any trips out of the city."
"Gotcha, sir." Bugs opened the door and looked back at the hostile partner. "D'at's not any way to treat a guest. Didn't your mud'er ever teach you manners?"
"'Manners' this, asshole." The partner flipped Bugs off.
Bugs rolled his eyes and left the police station, his thoughts stuck repeatedly reminding him that he was taking an anti-psychotic drug by means of prescription - he couldn't help but keep dwelling upon the worry that perhaps he was crazy and just didn't realize it.