A/N: I am back again and here is chapter 13! I hope you would like this one. Enjoy reading!!! ^_^
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I Want My Mommy
Chapter 13: What They Are Afraid About
Silence…and more silence…
That's what filled the colonel's office after the sudden outburst of the colonel. No one seems to be breathing as Colonel Roy Mustang gaped on the little boy. Havoc, Falman, Breda and Feury stared at the three people before them. Jun was smiling, Lieutenant Hawkeye face became so pale and the colonel was just so surprised at what he heard. Well, they are just surprised as well. Riza on the other didn't know what to do, she felt so tense when Jun started asking that question.
"Please, please Mr. Colonel. I want you to be my daddy!" Jun said eagerly, finally breaking the silence.
"B-but-" Roy stammered as he looked at the little boy.
"Please? I've been waiting for someone like you Mr. Colonel!"
"But still…"
"You love each other right?" Jun asked suddenly.
"What? How can you say that?" Roy asks, surprise that the child say that to him.
"You already kissed each other!" Jun exclaimed.
Another awkward silence follows. Riza felt cold after she heard that from Jun. How did Jun knew about kissing and the romantic side of it?
"Uncle Havoc told me!" Jun exclaimed again, that smile not leaving his face.
Riza started glaring at Havoc. So that's why they keep looking at her with inquiring and amused eyes in the past few days. Jun might told him about what happened and he has to discuss things a child shouldn't know yet and worst is he told what Jun told him to the others. Havoc cringed as he saw her glaring at him and he even felt more fear as he saw the colonel gave him a sideway glare.
"Please Mr. Colonel!"
"Stop it Jun." Riza said in the background but it seems that her son is oblivious in his surroundings.
"Look here little boy-"Roy tried to argue but he was interrupted again.
"I've been looking for you…"
"Jun, stop it." Riza said again, her patience is starting to run out.
"Yes, I heard you say that but…" Roy said but again, he was interrupted.
"I wanted to have you as my daddy ever since I heard you from my mommy's story!"
"Is that so…but still…"
"Please Mr. Colonel, I-"
"Jun, I said stop it."
Jun and everyone in the room started looking at Riza. The men knew that deadly tone of hers and they felt fear gripped their insides so they just keep quiet there as they watch her but it has a different effect on Jun. Riza saw his lips slightly quivered as he looked back at her, his eyes suddenly filled with fear and worry. She was about to say something but they heard someone started knocking on the door and it opened, revealing Selim Bradley.
"Jun, sorry, I just got here. Let's go and play now!" the little boy said, it seems that he was pretty oblivious of the events that are happening inside the office.
Jun looked again at her mommy then at the colonel and he slightly tensed up as he saw the man stared grimly at him, or so he thinks. He moved a step backwards then he dashed outside the door.
"Hey Jun, wait for me!" They heard Selim said as the door slammed shut.
The room became quieter and the atmosphere was still filled with dread. The four men was still staring at their superiors, not knowing what they will do or say.
"Just get back to work everyone!" Roy said in his commanding tone and the four men followed abruptly. Riza sat down on her desk and she sighed heavily, not knowing what to do. A part of her says that she should run after Jun but the other part of her tells her that she should stay and explain. But how could she explain? She can't even say anything right!
After a few hours, people started leaving the room. They are already finished with their work and they bid her goodbye (except Havoc who made a dash out of the room as soon as he was finished) which she just replied with a nod. She thought the Colonel will leave too because (miraculously) he finished his work early but he stayed on his desk and she could feel him looking at her.
She stood up to get the papers on his desk without even glancing at him then she returned to her desk to arrange the papers there. She could still feel him staring at her so to ease the tension she was feeling, she decided to talk to him.
"Sir, I'm sorry for what my son said to you. I will talk to him about it." she said while her back was still turned to him. She just can't face him yet.
"Doesn't he know about his father, lieutenant?" the colonel suddenly asked.
Riza was surprised to hear him ask that. "Well…n-no sir…I…" but she doesn't know what to say anymore. She felt nervous. How could she say the reason?
Another silence came between them. Riza was slightly glad she wasn't interrogated anymore but she can't still shrugged off the tension she's feeling. It's like something was about to happen. She went to the side of the room where the drawers are located. She started arranging the files that are needed to be passed tomorrow and when she closed the drawer shut, she heard the colonel speak again.
"You know what Lieutenant; I was quite surprised that your son mentioned if we love each other."
That's when Riza felt her heart beating fast again that it made her uneasy. She heard the colonel's chair squeak and then she heard footsteps coming towards her.
"After hearing that, it made me realize a lot of things." She heard the colonel speak then she felt two arms wrapped around her from behind.
She felt her face go warm and her body became rigid as they stood there. She could feel Roy's hot breath on her neck. She knew she has to stop this, she has to but it seems she can't find the strength to do it. Her heart beats faster that she could hear it drumming in her chest and it made her hard to breathe.
"Riza…" Roy started and he tightens his embrace.
That made her feel more afraid. The tone of his voice indicates something else.
"Riza, I-"
"No…" Riza said, her voice was slight shaking. She gently pry herself away from Roy's embrace then she look directly at his eyes.
"Please…don't say it." she said firmly. She felt her eyes started to brim but she took a hold on herself.
Roy didn't say anything. He stood there with a hurt look on his face but it turned into a grim look then he walk away to go back to his desk then he walk out of the room.
Riza hold on the side the drawer because she felt her knees shaking and it might give way. This is what she's been afraid about ever since she realized a lot of things. She fear that Roy will say this thing and she might give in because…because she finally realized that she was falling in love with him but she has to stop herself, she knew it wouldn't bring her any good. She knew Roy's reputation of being a playboy and she doesn't want to trust her heart to someone like that. She trusts Roy but trusting her heart to him is different.
After a few minutes, she heard the door creak open and Jun slowly went inside. He has this sad look in his face and he was pouting. She grabbed her things on her table and she walk towards Jun.
"Let's go home now." Riza said. Jun just nodded his head.
They walk home in silence. This is the first time Jun didn't talk about anything to her. Jun was walking ahead of her and she doesn't know what to say to him. She was feeling guilty inside for what she did.
They arrive at their home and when they went inside, Riza decided to talk to her son.
"Jun, are you mad at mommy?"
"No." Jun answered, his pout still not leaving his face.
Riza didn't know why but she suddenly felt herself fighting the urge to smile. It's just Jun is so cute when he pouts like that. But she knew that this isn't a laughing matter. She needs to settle things with her son.
She walks towards the sofa and she sit there then she motioned Jun to sit beside her. Jun hesitated at first but he soon caved in and he finally sit beside her but he wasn't still looking at her. She started stroking his hair then she gently pulled him in a hug.
"I'm so sorry Jun. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Mommy doesn't mean to raise her voice like that." Riza explained. She waited for a response and she felt relieved when Jun started hugging her back but it disappears soon when she heard him sob.
"Jun, I'm sorry…Please forgive mommy." Riza said in a pleading tone. She must have really hurt his feelings so much.
Jun started looking at her with those tear-filled eyes that tells a lot of sorrow and Riza knew that there's another reason why he was so sad and frustrated.
"Mommy…" Jun suddenly said.
"Yes?"
"Am I a bad boy?" he asks.
"Of course not, you're not a bad boy. What made you say such things?" Riza said as she looks at him.
"Because it seems that no one wants to be my daddy…" Jun said as he sobs. "First Uncle Havoc then Mr. Colonel…Mr. Colonel doesn't want me too…" Jun said between sobs.
Riza stared at her son as she processed the things he told her in her mind.
"Wait Jun…What do you mean by Mr. Havoc doesn't want to be your daddy?" Riza asked.
Jun doesn't have any choice but to tell his mommy what he's been up to. He told her everything from the day he started looking for a daddy.
"…It's because Elicia told me that she had a daddy because her mommy and daddy found each other. That's why mommy." Jun explained.
Riza's heart breaks as she heard her son's explanation. Because of a slight misinterpretation, Jun embarks on a quest to 'find' someone who could be his daddy. It is so painful to know that this innocent little boy is suffering inside. She starts hugging him again as she whispers words of comfort on his ear until he stops crying. It's so wrong for an adorable, sweet and innocent boy to suffer like this just because of things he was forbidden to know.
"I really wanted Mr. Colonel to be my daddy." Jun told her. "And I also want him to be my daddy for you, mommy." Jun said.
Riza was shocked to hear that. She looks at Jun with slight bewildered eyes.
"Why mommy, don't you love him?" Jun asked.
"Well..I-I can't answer that Jun" Riza answered but she knew the answer indeed.
"But why mommy? Uncle Havoc said-"
"That's only an accident Jun. I think Mr. Havoc didn't explain it to you clearly." Riza said but she slightly wished that she didn't said that because Jun started pouting again and tears started brimming in his eyes.
"Jun, please stop crying. I'm really, really sorry…" Riza pleaded again as she wipes the tears on Jun's cheeks.
Jun just nodded his head then he hugs her again. "I'm sorry too mommy." he said.
"You didn't do anything wrong Jun. Remember that mommy will always be here and I love you so much Jun." Riza said.
"I love you too mommy." Jun replied.
But he really wants to have a daddy and finally he was able to find one. He knew this is the only way. He needs to talk to that person to convince him to be his daddy and for his mommy too.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Meanwhile, Roy arrived in a bar he frequently goes to every Friday night. He sat on one of the chairs in the counter and he ordered his drink. Usually, he would bring some other woman here but tonight is a different night. He avoided a lot of women and he didn't entertain them just like what he usually did.
As his order came, he starts thinking about the events that happened that afternoon. After hearing that statement from the little boy, there's something inside him that burst out at it made him do that thing to Riza. He knew it is stupid but he felt courageous as he tried to talk his way out from the little boy's wishes. He smiled as he remembers the little boy's statement. He wants him to be his daddy. Him, a daddy. A daddy for Riza's son. At first he didn't know how to react on the boy's request but after he run away and he was left alone with Riza, and after knowing that the little boy didn't know about his father, he felt that bravery inside him. That's why he doesn't inquire any more about the father of the little boy. So without thinking about the consequences and her answer, he went to her and he was about to say what he really feels but he was rejected right away without even saying anything yet.
He sighed then he starts drinking. To be honest, he was hurt after hearing that from Riza but he knew it's his fault. He never thinks about what might happen afterwards, that he could be rejected. What made him felt bitter after that is when he saw Riza's eyes. It's full of fear and worry. Is she…afraid of him? He puts down the glass on the table and he ordered for another.
He just realized that this thing is what he fears. He fears that the love of his life might reject him. He never knew that it will be this painful and he felt so stupid and useless even if it is not raining. How can he face his lieutenant now? Just as he was thinking about his own misery, he heard some familiar voice from nearby and he felt him sit in a chair a seat apart from him. He looked at that person and he was surprised to see Havoc. Havoc was surprised to see him there too.
"Ch-Chief!" Havoc said with a slight fear in his voice.
"Don't worry Havoc, I wouldn't do anything to you." he said before drinking.
After getting his drink, Havoc transferred beside the colonel.
"So, what brings you here?" Roy asked at his other lieutenant.
"Well, I just want to wind up Chief. How about you? You look so miserable. Did any one of your girlfriends dump you?" Havoc said in a joking manner.
Roy sighed. "Worse than that…"
"What, you got rejected?! I thought that never happens to you. So who's the person?"
Roy didn't say anything. He just keeps on drinking. Havoc looked at him and then he suddenly knew the answer.
"Oh…I guess I know who could that be. Elizabeth right?" Havoc said, saying Riza's codename so people who might be eavesdropping wouldn't know who they are really taling about.
Roy looked at him again. "Is it that obvious?"
"Come on chief, we are always together in the office. We are not that dumb to notice."
"Well, I guess she likes you more Havoc. Why don't you try your luck on her."
Havoc was startled. "How can you say that chief?"
Roy just shrugged his shoulders and he ordered for another glass again.
Havoc started laughing to the surprise of Roy. He looked at his lieutenant who can't control his laughter.
"What's so funny?" Roy asked after his laughter subsided
"Chief, are you jealous? I never know that this day will come. Usually I am the one who was envious and jealous because of you." Havoc said
Roy felt annoyed but he just shrugged off Havoc's statement.
"What do you think of Elizabeth?" Roy suddenly asked after a long silence.
"Well, even though at times she was scary, I know deep inside that she is a good and caring comrade." Havoc answered.
"Just a comrade?" Roy asked.
"Of course. She's just a comrade for me chief."
"But I thought…"
"No chief. I did those things to her just to make fun of you and so we could know if you really like her."
Roy felt relieved but he realized what just Havoc said. "Hey!" he said as he glared at him
"Oops… Sorry chief." Havoc said as he smiled.
Roy sighed again. "Well, there's nothing I can do. Even though you don't have any feelings for her, she still rejected me. Hmm… maybe she's the one who likes you instead."
Havoc shook his head. "No chief, I got rejected too remember? Just try again next time. Maybe she was just surprised and there was still this anti-fraternal law, maybe she was thinking about that."
"Oh, about the anti-fraternization law… didn't Fuhrer Bradley announce some things about it yet?"
"What things sir?" Havoc asked.
"Well, I think you should wait for the Fuhrer to announce it." Roy answered.
Havoc just smiled. "Just do your best chief. Someday, you might get her heart. Remember that you got her son's approval."
Roy laughed. "Yeah, I guess I am still lucky."
"And I think it's time to give us other guys a chance to have a girlfriend!" Havoc said.
Roy laughed again then it struck him. Maybe that's the reason...
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
The following days weren't easy for Riza. She can't concentrate on her job anymore. She was trying to avoid the colonel's glances and whenever they are together, they never speak a word to each other. Well, if there are some times it is required for her to speak, she speaks in a very formal way. She still brings Jun to her work but she never made him stay in the office. Then she finally learned about the abolishment of the anti-fraternization law. Everyone was surprised to hear that. Maybe that's why the colonel has the guts to ask her out. There's no hindrance for him anymore.
Jun on the other hand didn't bother the colonel anymore…well, not yet. He was planning to have a talk with him when he was alone and he was glad that day finally came.
It was in the afternoon and his mommy has to go to the room where he was forbidden to enter. He knew that at this time, Mr. Colonel was still in the premises. He started searching for him after saying to Mr. Feury (Mr. Havoc was absent that day) that he would just go around the building alone and after saying that he'll be good and he won't do anything bad, Mr. Feury agreed and he was told to go back as soon as possible.
He started searching for Mr. Colonel and after a few minutes of peering into various rooms, he finally saw him on a room, he was alone and he was putting some things into a locker. This must be the men's locker room. He slowly went inside and he stood behind him until he finally saw him.
Roy was surprised to see the boy there and he was staring at him with determined eyes.
"Uhm, is there anything I can do for you?" he asks.
"You love my mommy right?" Jun asked.
Roy was surprised again. "Why do you say so?"
"Because I always saw you staring at my mommy and there's something in your eyes when you do that." answered Jun.
Roy stared at the kid. Well, he's sharp.
"Mommy…my mommy, she sometimes get lonely and I don't know why. But I know there's something missing. Please be my daddy Mr. Colonel…and be a daddy to my mommy too. I know she needs someone aside from me and I figured out that maybe she's lonely because we are missing a daddy. Please be that person." Jun said in a pleading tone.
Roy started kneeling down and he pats the little boy's head.
"It's not that easy Jun." he said and he could see that the little boy's eyes started shimmering. "But let's give it a try."
Jun's face started brightening up. "Thank you so much Mr. Colonel!" Jun said and he hugs him.
Roy was astonished as he felt the small arms of the boy hugging him. It made him feel warm inside. It's a new feeling for him but it made him smile.
"But first, tell me about that story your mommy always tell you where I am the main protagonist."
A/N: There. How was it? Please REVIEW!!! Thanks so much for reading! Uhm, I might not be able to update on time next time. I'm facing some problems right now and it make some difficulties for me to write while I'm having that kind of problem. Thank you for supporting this fanfic of mine! ^_^