18.3

Murphy took her silence as acceptance and took one more step forward. "I had no intention of killing you or Mr. Booth."

"Really? I find that hard to believe."

"Why is that?"

"Do you really think I need to answer that after what you put us through?"

With a shake of his head, Murphy looked straight into her eyes.

"My goal was to torture the man. I wanted him alive so he could live through all this pain. If I happened to kill him in some rage, then that would have defeated my purposes. I tried very hard to keep my composure. You are still alive, no?"

"You're sick," she said as she aimed the gun at his heart.

"In war, nothing is unjust, Dr. Brennan. 'The notion of right and wrong, justice and injustice' had no place there."

"So that means it was alright for you to kidnap and torture us because you were mad? Because you saw this as a war between you and Booth?"

"If we are in a state of war, then there is no government between us. If that is true, then 'every man has a right to everything: even to one another's body.' If you want to win the war, then 'force, and fraud,' are two cardinal virtues."

"You know that it's not his fault that Ramero shot your father! Now look what you've done to us. You can't justify that."

"I tried to find my peace, Dr. Brennan!" His face turned red with his energy focused on keeping his voice quiet. "I tried for over twenty years to do that. And when I couldn't find it, I used all advantages of war and sought it. I found him, and I found you, and I found my war, and I found my peace. This war between him and I is over now."

Murphy sighed at his anger, and then turned his head toward her small hallway. He needed to leave as soon as possible.

18.4

"It's Mr. Booth's turn now, Dr. Brennan. He must make his own peace."

He started a few steps forward, intending to leave, but she moved in front of him, making sure he knew that she was ready to fire.

"I will shoot you if you try to leave."

Murphy raised an eyebrow.

"Will you?"

"Do you know how many times you tried to kill me? Do you know how many times you put that gun in my face? Do you know how many times I was hit, or bit? Not to mention the others you have tortured. I will kill you at the slightest chance."

That head tilted to the side again, as if he was thinking. Those light brown eyes tried to peer into her soul and Brennan hated that.

"I'm not what you think I am, Dr. Brennan. I've only killed one man, and that was long ago. I have never gone near to that again. I wouldn't live with myself if I happened to murder again."

"Liar," she whispered.

"Did they let you see the file they have on me? Did you read that?"

From her stiff silence, he knew they hadn't.

"Then you don't know. I'm telling the truth. I killed him…for a very good reason, Dr. Brennan. He killed my brother the next day my father was killed because he thought my brother had our father's money. I make no apologies for that action."

"I don't care."

"If you are going to shoot me, then you better kill me with the first shot," he remarked impatiently. "I've only got two minutes left before my nephew leaves for good. Don't shoot my arm, or my leg, or my gut, because I will push that button and Mr. Booth will be dead."

"I can't let you just walk out of here."

He looked away and sighed before returning his gaze to the hands that held the gun.

"I'm not coming back," he said quietly.

She told herself not to cry out loud. She told herself not to feel relief. But she did all that. With a near sob, she realized a few tears had left her face. That had been the one thing that had made her shake with fear -- knowing he was out there, somewhere, and could come back for her at any moment.

"I won't let you leave, free."

Murphy took two more steps forward so that the gun was pressed to his heart and looked down into those eyes he had learned so well.

"The war is over. You are still alive. Mr. Booth is still alive. Both of you are in pain, but you always have been, Dr. Brennan. Both of you have your own silent pain, and now both of you have your own shared pain. At least you have someone to share with. I had no one."

"That doesn't excuse you."

"I know. But not everything can be black and white. Trust me. I've been to both sides, and the middle, the gray, is just as real. It hurts just as much."

18.5

(present tense)

The gun is shaking in her hands. Her vision is becoming blurry. Shoot him, her mind tells her. Shoot him so that he can never hurt you again. He blinks once before slowly moving away from the weapon to brush past her.

She still holds the gun in the air where he'd stood. Brennan knows her grip is failing.

She hears the front door close and she doesn't care how he got in or how he left. She doesn't care because she doesn't feel. She can't feel. She can't see. She can't do anything.

Her hand lowers and she stares at the gun before it drops to the ground. She had been lead into the world of gray once by her own father. Now, Murphy was trying to leave her there. He was trying to make her acknowledge that there was no ultimate good or evil, there was only gray. A mixture that means everything is acceptable and everything can be condoned.

Feeling her strength leave her, Brennan leaned against the wall. Her back felt the hard wood that was sturdy and strong.

"There is no gray. There is no gray. There is no gray," she repeats to herself over and over as the few tears run down her face. Suddenly, she couldn't hold herself up. She lets herself fall to the floor where she covers her face with her hands.

There can't be a gray, she thinks. There can't be, because that means there is no right or wrong. It means Murphy was justified. It means that she just let a man who tried to kill her leave. There can't be a gray.

A/N: and...what did i tell ya. was that way ooc...i don't know, but i certainly hoped she was going to kick murphy's ass...but she didn't. which i found shocking, but maybe it wasn't to any of you. anyways, one last chapter is coming.