AN: REMINDER - the story is being told out of order. Look for the episode titles in parenthesis to help you make sense of the time. Emily's POV is chronological & Hotch is reverse with them overlapping around Lauren. I try to give enough info to clue you in as to what season each one is set.

Right at seven she heard the buzzer letting her know Hotch was there. "Come on up. I'm almost ready," she called into the intercom. She fastened her earrings, double checked her bag and slipped on her heels. Just as she was filling Sergio's bowl, she heard the knock. Through the peephole she saw a grin and mischievous eyes.

"Hello handsome." She stepped back for him to enter.

"You look great." He placed a kiss on her cheek and pulled a bouquet of tulips from behind his back.

"These are lovely. How did you know?" She walked further into her apartment towards the kitchen, back turned towards him. "I'll take that eyebrow raise you just did as you just do. Let me put these in water and we can go."

"How did you…" he started in disbelief.

"Know? I just do. You're not the only one who is good at their job." She gave him a wicked grin over her shoulder as she placed the vase on the counter. The warmth of his chest enveloped her back. She gave a little moan at the pressure of his lips on her neck.

"I really like this dress on you." Emily hummed her acknowledgement of the compliment. It was a simple black wrap dress but it hugged in the right places, giving Hotch's imagination fuel to run wild about what lies beneath. "I can't wait to get it off of you."

Emily spun in his arms to face him. "Who knew Aaron Hotchner had that in him?" He bent down to kiss her again. It quickly turned from playful to passionate. Emily felt his hands wander down her backside. She broke the kiss before his hands could get under the material at the back of her thighs. "Don't we have a dinner reservations?"

In between open kisses on her neck he murmured, "They can wait."

She chuckled. "I thought we were supposed to get out of the house for once?"

He groaned as he pulled away from her. "You're right. Shall we?"

This would be there first time going out in public on a date. Most of their encounters consisted of hasty sex on the road or takeout at someone's apartment. Emily kept telling herself to be excited about this. Her and Hotch out in the open, able to hold hands, kiss, being a real couple. It was everything Emily has wanted for years. She was a bundle of nerves.

They ended up at a discrete little Italian place she was sure Rossi suggested to him. It was nice without being pretentious. It was something the enjoyed about the other; they could appreciate the finer things without making a big show of it. They managed to get through dinner without work coming up at all. They talked about Jack, Emily's favorite places in Paris, how much Hotch and Sergio don't get along. It a pretty perfect evening as far as dates could go.

He took her hand across the table, rubbing his thumb across hers. "Emily, I want this to be real." She could feel the intensity radiating from his gaze. "I don't want to keep sneaking around like we're doing something wrong. I want you to be around for a long time."

Emily froze, her chest tightened.

"Ok, so that's not the response I was hoping for." She realized her mouth was hanging open and she had ripped her hand away. She tried to compose herself as he continued. "I know you just got back and are still settling in. And this would be a big change and we would have to talk to Strauss. But when you're ready, I want to be a real couple. "

"I don't…Oh Hotch. I'm not…" Emily just stammered. "I don't know if I can."

"I'm not suggesting anything drastic like getting married or even moving in together. But I would like to be able to tell people how crazy I am about you." He was calmly smiling at her. She could see the hopefulness in his eyes. "We can take our time, but I think Jack is going to figure me out soon. I know Jessica already thinks I'm dumping him on her to sleep around." She could tell he was trying to make her laugh, to diffuse the seriousness of the conversation he started.

"I mean I don't know if I can stay here." It was out of her mouth before she realized it to be true. Tears were forming in her eyes; her breath was shallow and shaky. "I love being back with the team and in your arms again, but the District doesn't feel like home anymore."

She had been back in D.C. for a few months now but couldn't get settled. Something just felt off. There was nothing specific she could put her finger on, just this odd feeling. None of her favorite places brought her comfort anymore. She tried to spend time getting lost in books at the library or running in her favorite park but she felt out of place. It was a disturbing pattern she was starting to notice.

It wasn't as if she had a lot of time to think about it. The other members of the team were keeping her busy. After hours of kicking her butt in gym Morgan was finally ok with her in the field. Reid was starting to warm up to JJ again and Garcia was planning girls nights out every weekend. It felt great to be back with Hotch again. Everything seemed to be going well on the surface of her relationships. Even her nightmares were subsiding.

He reached for her again. "Hey," he murmured. "Hey. It's alright. You've been through a lot. I don't want to push. I'll have to get Jack a different surprise now though." He gave Emily a warm smile, which quickly faded when he saw Emily's face. He silently motioned for the check before continuing. "Whatever you need I'm here. We don't have to do this now. We have time."

"No Hotch!" Her volume attracted looks from nearby tables. "You don't understand," she said a little quieter. "I've wanted this for so long but now," she sighed, "I don't know."

"How long have you been feeling this way?" He was calm and sympathetic; giving her the same look he uses with victims.

"I think ever since I got here. When I first got back I had so much to distract me; the censure, finding a new place, making up with everyone again, that I didn't notice this hole right away." It all came out a whisper. She could barely look at him. "I'm so sorry. We can't do this. It's not fair to you."

"Wait, Emily, are you saying this relationship is over?" His eyes searched hers like he was willing them to tell him what she was thinking. She quickly looked away. Emotions and thoughts were swirling in a jumbled behind her eyes. This wasn't how she imagined this night going. She never thought she would be saying good bye to him again so soon.

"I don't want to. I've been waiting for this for so long but I think I've changed. I know your life is here, Jack is here. I couldn't ask you to leave with me." She kept her head down, trying to hold back tears.

"Are you willing to wait a little longer? To see if more time will help." His voice was so soft and gentle. "You know I would do anything for you even if that meant waiting until you get sorted out." She could tell he didn't want to lose her either.

She couldn't think straight. The only things she noticed was the blood rushing in her ears and the sadness in his eyes. Cold metal on her legs brought her back. Somehow they left the restaurant and made it to a park bench without her realizing. He had her wrapped in his arms, his lips muttering her name against her hair like he was willing her to speak. "You have given up so much already. For this job, for Jack, for me. You deserve to be happy."

"You make me happy." He was begging now. And the wetness of his eyes couldn't be hidden.

"Aaron, I can't." She heard his breath catch when she said his name. "I can't even make myself happy right now. Being the cause of your pain would hurt me more." She avoided his eyes, afraid she would lose her resolve. Instead she focused on picking her nails.

After what felt like hours he finally spoke. "I have a deal for you." She almost laughed. He loved making deals with her; a relic from his days as a prosecutor. "First you need to look at me." Reluctantly she lifted her head to his shining brown eyes. Maybe if she stared deep enough she'd find the answer. "Give it another eight months, a full year. I will give you all the space you need. No pressure to stay, nothing more than friends and colleagues. If you still want to leave, I'll support you. If you stay…" He took a deep breath. "You are all mine." He pulled her into his chest and kissed her forehead.

"Ok, but I want to add one thing. You can date other people." She looked back up to his eyes seeing the confusion, cupping a hand on his cheek. "You owe me nothing. I don't want you pining for me. Allow yourself to be happy. I'm willing to try this but I can promise to make it a full year."

"Ok, it's a deal. But after tonight. I want one more night with you."

"Deal." She leaned in to kiss him. If she only had one more night she was going to make it count.

Guest & Outburst: At least he was only being an ass to protect her. 'In the Name of Honesty' told us she knew what he was doing. There might be a scene where he makes it up to her in "Moments in Time" ;)