Author's Notes: Hello! I'm so glad to be back, and boy has it been a while! Fall schedule is starting though, so I'm going to be pretty busy for now. But, here is my promise to all of you - there will be updates at least once a week, and you will never go longer than two weeks without an update, and if it ever does happen, you are all allowed to give me 40 lashes with a wet noodle! Very exciting, I know. Let's see now, congatulations to Panda Slippers for being the two hundred twenty fifth reviewer! Also, I will reply to all your wonderful reviews as soon as I possibily can! Now, as far as this chapter goes...it is one of the longest chapter by far, I believe, and there is lots of action, but the ending scene gets a little racy, so be warned. This is rated T for a reason. And I'll try and get the lines fixed, I don't know what's going on with my computer and the site and everything. Ok, I think that's all, please enjoy the chapter until next time!

edit I fixed the lines, yay!

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men.

To Hold You Close

Chapter Fourteen

There was a dull thumping noise that just wouldn't go away. Rogue groaned and flopped over, trying to tune it out. When it still didn't go away, she blearily opened her eyes and looked around. Her room seemed empty, but the noise seemed to be coming from her door.

"Hey Rogue, you up yet?" came Warren's voice through the thick oak.

"Uhhnnnn," she called back, which roughly translated to I am now.

"Well hurry up, you don't have much time to eat breakfast before your class!" That caused Rogue to wake up more fully.

"Aw crud," she muttered as she flew out of her bed to head for the shower. Her mind was still groggy with sleep though and she hit the table by her bed. "Oww," she moaned, clutching her shin which was already starting to bruise. "Not a good start."

Rogue was scarfing down her breakfast at record speed, only pausing to push her wet hair out of her face.

"Maybe you want to breath a little?" Peter suggested.

"They make a blow dryer for a reason," Kitty chimed in, unhelpfully.

"It's not like you overslept, Warren just exaggerated a little to get you out of bed. What's going on?" questioned Bobby.

"Gotta run!" Rogue answered, throwing them a tiny grin before running off. She wasn't sure what she would tell them anyways, neither Storm nor Logan had mentioned it. She assumed they wanted to tell everyone later. Rushing through the halls, she collided with another running body.

"Sorry," Rogue gasped out, looking up at the person.

"Whatever," Jubilee sneered as she hurried off. Rogue watched her a moment before shaking her head and dashing off again to class.

She was there a little early, which surprised her. Storm greeted her, looking as tired as she felt. Brief nods were the only greeting, and Rogue settled down in a chair. Pulling her leg up, she pushed up the fabric of her pants and inspected her shin. There was a lovely bruise there, large and already purple. Rogue grimaced and covered it up again.

After a few moments more, the first of the kids started to trickle in.

Although it was the younger kids, Rogue found she couldn't be enthusiastic about the class. Storm didn't seem into it either, but she was making a much better effort than Rogue was. Although as the class went on, Rogue found she was just trying to stay awake.

"So, how ethical is it to lie?" Storm was saying. "Is it ever alright to lie?"

"No," one girl said adamantly.

"Wait a sec," the boy Rogue remembered as Josh said. "If my friend asks me to keep a secret, I'd keep it for 'em, even if I had to lie."

"What if it was a bad or dangerous secret?" Storm questioned. "What if your friend was risking his life, then what?"

"Well, if it was really dangerous, I guess I'd tell someone," Josh said thoughtfully.

"It's not ok to lie, for any reason," the girl from before insisted.

"Well, what about when your mom buys you something kind of ugly, but she's really excited about it? I'd lie then, and tell her I like it," another girl said.

"So, is lying alright if you're trying not to hurt someone's feelings?" Storm asked, guiding the conversation. There was a pause as the kids appeared to be mulling it over.

"Well, I did tell my mom once I didn't like a sweater she bought for me, and she looked really sad. I did wish I had told her liked it," the first girl said slowly.

"So maybe small lies are ok," Josh said.

"What about big lies?" Storm began. "A lie to a lot of people, promising them eternal happiness. And if these people believe the lie, they end up being brainwashed, and now believe the lie is the truth."

"That's not right at all,"objected Josh. "You can't lie in order to get people to do what you want."

"Yeah, people have the right to choices," the first girl chimed in. Rogue stood up.

"But, what if those choices are based on lies and not the truth?" she asked the class solemnly. Storm looked over at her appraisingly.

"Well, that's hard. If you didn't know it was a lie," began the second girl, " the choice would also be like a lie. You just wouldn't know it."

"Let me tell you a story," said Storm. "You have all heard of World War Two?" Heads nodded. "There were a lot of lies involved there, and some of them caused an extraordinary amount of people to die. You all know of Magneto?" Heads nodded again, though some confused looks were apparent. "He is a survivor of that war. He believes that, as mutants, we are better than humans, who kill because things are different. He is telling lies in order to get his way, to put mutants in the positions of power over humans."

"But that's like what humans to do mutants!" objected the first girl.

"Yeah, he's being just as bad as the humans," Josh added.

"Indeed," Storm said, her mouth twitching with the ghost of a smile. "It is something like a vicious cycle."

"Can't it be stopped?" asked the second girl.

"We'd all like to think so," Storm said. "But it's going to take a lot of understanding and compromises, as well as sorting through the lies and the truth." She continued on, but Rogue zoned out. Could it really be as simple as that? Because Magneto saw things as black and white, he would believe the lies he spouted off. Those who sided with him would believe his lies as well. But were they really lies?

After all...were the Professor's ideals even more unbelievable?

In the few minutes between the first and second classes, Rogue was silent. She didn't know what to say, given her almost treasonous thoughts, and Storm seemed lost in her own. As the second class came in, the conversation was similar to the one before, but Rogue found no clear answer to her thoughts.

Storm let the class out five minutes early, and turn to Rogue.

"About last night, I would like to apologize for my anger. I simply wasn't expecting Mystique to be there."

"No, I understand," Rogue said. "It was already a stressful situation." She smiled at Storm, who nodded.

"It certainly was. We're having another meeting over dinner tonight, please spread the word. And don't forget, there's a danger room practice this afternoon as well. We're inviting Alex in, hopefully his powers are as developed as Scott's were." Rogue nodded and Storm turned to leave.

Alone in the classroom, Rogue sat down and wondered what was going to happen the rest of the day.

Peter and Kitty were waiting for her before heading to lunch. After getting some food, Rogue was eating before she even sat down.

"Hungry much?" Peter grinned.

"Breakfast wasn't enough," Rogue answered, smiling.

"So, you left this morning without answering, so you've gotta tell us now. Why're you so tired?" Kitty asked, looking at her intently.

"You'll find out later," Rogue shrugged. "Meeting tonight over dinner," she added when Kitty looked like she was going to object. Rogue frowned down at her sandwich, thinking that Kitty certainly was asking lots of nosy questions lately.

"So, how about the doctor practice this afternoon," Peter asked, trying to break the somewhat icy feeling.

"The what?" Both girls looked at him, thoroughly confused.

"Er, the danger room. You know, d. and r. Abbreviation of doctor." He looked between them.

"When did you get such a sense of humor?" Rogue asked incredulously.

"I think I have this group of friends I hang out with to blame," Peter explained. Kitty burst out into giggles, the noise grating on Rogue's ears. Before she said something she'd invariably regret, Bobby came to her rescue as he ran up to the table.

"So this danger room practice," he began breathlessly, "just got a lot more interesting." Three pairs of eyes turned towards him quizzically. "One of the students in the highest level has been asked to practice with us," and here he turned towards Rogue, "and her name is Jubilee."

Rogue dropped her sandwich,

"Oh no," Kitty said softly and Peter shook his head.

"This only spells disaster," he said.

"No kidding," Bobby said, throwing himself in a chair. "So, what do you think'll happen?" Though the question seemed open for the entire table, he looked at Rogue.

"Without luck, someone will get killed. With it, it'll be Jubilee," Rogue said darkly.

"Rogue! That's a terrible thing to say!" Kitty looked shocked, and even the boys seemed surprised.

"I know," Rogue admitted. "I'm feeling mean today, I guess."

"Well then, some fighting should make you feel better," Peter said. Kitty still looked uncomfortable.

"Hey, there's Alex," she said, looking relieved to have noticed the lost-looking man. Before anyone could say anything, she called him over. "Haven't seen you all day," she remarked as he walked up.

"Been outside," Alex answered hollowly. The four looked at him sympathetically. "Where's the other guy?" he asked, looking at the teens in front of him.

"Helping with a class," Peter answered. Alex nodded and sat down. Everyone tried to make small talk then, nothing that would be a reminder of Scott. Rogue tuned them all out. She needed to talk to Logan about Jubilee being in the danger room this afternoon.

She wasn't exactly certain what she'd say, but they needed to have a conversation...

"Hey, are you alright?" Kitty asked Rogue after lunch. To Rogue's dismay, she banged her leg against the table as she stood, in the exact same spot as her bruise was. Now she was stepping gingerly, testing to see how sore the leg was now.

"Just hit a bruise," she said through gritted teeth.

"What kind of a bruise causes that sort of pained look?" Bobby asked. He knelt down and pulled up the fabric of her pants.

"Do you mind?" Rogue snapped, shifting away. Too late though, he had seen a glimpse of the large purple mark.

"Oh shit, how'd you do that?" he asked, staring wide-eyed up at her. Rogue shrugged.

"Well, after hitting it hard, twice, it's bound to look bad. Plus, I just bruise easily." She crossed her arms. "I'm going to find Logan anyways. I'll heal right up."

"Ok, as long as you'll get it taken care of," Peter spoke up. Rogue looked over at him and smiled.

"Don't worry about me," she said. "Bye guys. Bye Alex," she added, and the man looked over at her and nodded.

Rogue couldn't find Logan.
"Ok folks, this is it," Logan began. His gaze swept over the group in front of him, lingering a bit longer on Rogue than anyone else. She smiled slightly, her minding whirling with reasons of where he might have been, and why he had been the last one in the danger room. "We've got to be prepared for anything. Which is why you'll notice two new faces. Alex and Jubilee, meet the X-Men."

"Is your leg better?" Kitty asked Rogue under her breath. Rogue shook her head slightly.

"Now, we don't take it easy in here, but Jubilee seems to be ready and Alex, if your powers are anything like Scott's were, you'll be alright," Storm continued where Logan left off. She turned towards the others. "I'll expect all of you to help them out and work with both of them." She stressed the word both while looking at Rogue. "We're concerned with the idea of teamwork here."

"Feel ready?" Logan asked, grinning at the two of them. Alex seemed more focused then he had since finding out about Scott's death and Jubilee bounced on her toes, smiling eagerly.

"You bet," she said, looking straight at Logan. Rogue did not feel like being a teammate to Jubilee.

"Then without further adu," Storm said, "let's begin!" The cold steel room immediately changed into a wasteland. Rogue left Peter's side, brushing his arm lightly, just in case. Running to catch up with Logan, she noticed Jubilee catching up as well. As he turned, Rogue couldn't help but admire his profile, the light from the fire and the shadows left his face looking mysterious.

Mentally, she shook herself. Teenager she might be, but she wasn't that sappy.

"Stick close," he called out, facing Jubilee. Rogue frowned as he looked over at her. She reached his side first. "I've gotta keep an eye on her, and Storm's sticking close to Alex. Work with the others," he said under his breath in explanation. The girl in question passed by her and stood next to Logan, her triumphant smirk unseen by him.

"Whatever," she muttered, and turned away. She heard Logan shift towards her, but then Jubilee's voice cut through, asking some inane question. As she ran back towards Peter, she sniffed back unexplainable tears. She wasn't certain how she felt...it wasn't anger, or even resentment, just confusion. It's just part of his plan to keep our couple like status under wraps, she told herself.

"Rogue?" Kitty's distinctive voice called out to her.

"Whatever," she muttered again, transforming into steel being. She ran off, not even aware of what she was doing.

"Help!" There was real panic in Kitty's voice now. "Help! Bobby! Rogue!" Rogue looked back, and saw the assault on Kitty. She was oddly alone, and it seemed to take all her strength to keep up her phasing powers. Turning abruptly, Rogue ran back towards the girl, noticing Warren flying in also. Entering the fray, the blows were meaningless to Rogue's steel body. Using every ounce of her training, she fought enough to clear a space around Kitty, and Warren dove in. He scooped up Kitty and flew a distance away, Rogue running after them.

"You alright?" Warren was asking. Kitty's lip was split and she was rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah, wasn't expecting that," she replied. "Thanks guys."

"Why were you alone? Where's Bobby and Peter?" Rogue demanded, slightly breathless.

"With Alex and Storm," Kitty answered.

"I don't think we're out of this," Warren suddenly said, looking behind Rogue. She whirled around to see another onslaught coming their direction.

"Shit," she cursed. "Warren get Kitty out of here, she's got to recover."

"I'm fine," Kitty insisted. She stood, wobbly, but remained upright. "We're teammates."

"So a plan," Rogue said, not willing to argue. "Warren, fly up with Kitty. I'll be the distraction. Drop her on top of the Sentinel, so she can phase through it and destroy it from the inside."

"You'll be fine, Rogue?" Warren asked. "You ok with that Kitty?" Both girls nodded. He collected Kitty in his arms again and crouched briefly before pushing off, his wings beating. The disturbed dust swirled and Rogue covered her eyes too late.

"Dammit!" she cried out, blinking painfully. As she fiercely rubbed her eyes, she took off running towards the Sentinel, barely dodging the attacks.

"Look out!" came Kitty's thin voice. As Rogue peered ahead of her, something slammed into her side, throwing her off her feet. Her steel head banged against the ground and to her horror she felt Peter's powers slipping away from her.

"No, this isn't supposed to happen!" she gasped, feeling the pain from the attack. She struggled to her feet and stared up at the approaching robotic figure. Her body seemed suddenly as fragile as a leaf and she swallowed. "Please hurry," she whispered, begging her friends. She couldn't look away from the Sentinel, mesmerized by the figure.

She caught another side attack and dodged out of the way, but it clipped her shin, and Rogue cried out, the bruised leg protesting this hardest hit yet. Stumbling, she managed to retain her balance, and decided she could see well enough to run. Better that than being a sitting duck. She zigzagged across the ground, each step causing her leg to protest violently. The attacks became more intense, and she started to wonder what was going on with Kitty and Warren.

"We've got your back!" came Bobby's voice, startling Rogue. She looked back and saw the icy figure, followed by the rest of the team.

"Warren came and got us after dropping Kitty into the Sentinel," Peter called out.

"Pay attention!" Logan bellowed, and Rogue caught the look of fear cross his face before the blow to her stomach threw her back. She flew a few feet before slamming against the ground, the wind knocked out of her. For a few frightening seconds her mouth gaped open, trying unsuccessfully to draw in air, before she finally managed to, gasping.

"Rogue!" she heard Storm yell. She struggled to sit up, waving her hand weakly.

"Help," she mouthed, unable to speak out loud, but pointing to the Sentinel.

"Bobby, you and Alex get in and attack that damn thing," Logan commanded. "Jubilee, go with Storm. Peter, get Rogue some cover!" Without hesitation ( except on Jubilee's part, Rogue noticed ) the group followed Logan's orders, and he and Peter made their way over to Rogue.

"Here Rogue," Peter held his hand out, touching hers, and she felt the steel transformation come on.

"What the hell were you doing, Marie?" Logan said between gritted teeth. "You gotta focus! What happened to your protection?"

"I hit my head," Rogue said softly, breathing a bit more evenly. "And they went away." The shiver down her spine was almost painful.

"You weren't concentrating," Peter asked, and she nodded.

"I'm fine, come on, let's go," she said, not liking the look on Logan's face. She struggled to stand up, forcing herself to ignore her throbbing body. "I'm fine," she insisted as Logan opened his mouth.

"She'll be alright now," Peter said confidently. "At least until after this practice." Logan visibly clenched his teeth, his lips thin, but he nodded. The three turned towards the battle.

"What's going on?" Logan said. The Sentinel was flailing about, as Warren and Storm wheeled over head. Bobby was protecting Jubilee and Kitty suddenly jumped into sight out of the middle of the giant robot. Strangest of all was Alex. Red pulses of plasma, very similar to the bean of Cyclops, were appearing out of his hands, but they weren't under control, making the scene ten times more dangerous than it already was.

"Wow," Peter said as they ran.

"Alex, stop it!" Logan yelled, and the blond man looked back at him helplessly.

"I lost control," he called back. Rogue was gasping for breath.

"Logan watch out!" shrieked Jubilee, and she dashed towards him, passing Rogue and subtlety kicking her leg. As Rogue cried out in pain again, she saw Jubilee leap in front of the blast of plasma Alex had inadvertently shot at Logan.

"No, don't!" Storm called urgently, but the headstrong girl took the attack, her pained cry echoing in everyone's ears.

Needless to say, the danger room session was over for the day.

So, the hospital wing found itself with business again. Rogue felt smug when Logan stayed with her, offering her his warm hand and inviting her to take his powers to heal herself. As she felt his powers stop the throbbing in her leg and stomach and head, she hugged him, feeling unexplainably relieved.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"I don't just do this for anyone," he responded gruffly. But he leaned his head down and lightly kissed her forehead. "I gotta go check on everyone else. I'll see you at dinner." He untangled her from himself and took off, his fast stride taking him away almost before Rogue felt the chill of the lack of his embrace.

There was an hour before dinner still. Rogue took a shower again, and actually blew dry her hair.
Dinner was mostly somber. Jubilee was still in the hospital wing, but she would be fine. Alex continually apologized.

"I've never had complete control, but I've never lost control like that before," he was currently saying.

"Probably the stress of everything," Peter offered.

"The best explanation available," Storm said. "Don't worry, these things happen," she said to Alex. The blond man rubbed his face.

"I'm so sorry," he said again.

"Don't worry about it," Logan said gruffly from his spot by Rogue. "Move on. We've got things to discuss tonight."

"That's right. Last night was a very important night," Storm said. "Logan, Rogue and myself had quite the startling discovery."

"What happened?" Kitty asked, her eyes shining with anticipation. Her lip looked better, Rogue noticed.

"The Professor is alive." Logan said.

"What?" gasped Bobby. There was general uproar then, and Storm looked disapproving at Logan, who shrugged.

"Let me explain," she called out over the din, but there wasn't much of a subsiding of sound.

"Listen!" Rogue called out irritably. Her tone caused a pause and Storm seized the quite moment.

"The professor isn't exactly alive. He transported his mind into the mind of an unconscious man."

"Come again?" Peter questioned, his brow furrowed.

"It's like he's alive, but he's not. The man is in a coma, and still has his own mind, but because he is unconscious, the Professor is able to keep his mind in the mind of the man as well. I don't fully understand it myself, but it was definitely the Professor," Storm explained.

"So, is he coming here?" Kitty asked eagerly. Storm shook her head.

"The doctor on the case, an old friend of the Professor, says the man has family who visits him. If the body simply disappeared, there would be some very big problems."

"He will try to contact us telepathically, of course," Logan added. "But we might have to have nightly conferences at the hospital."

"Does Mr. McCoy know?" asked Peter.

"Yes, he and Mystique were there as well," Storm said.

"Mystique? Why?" Bobby frowned.

"He felt that if we were going to work with her, she should know the Professor is alive," Logan muttered.

"Who is Mystique?" Alex asked.

"She used to work for Magneto, until she got hit with the cure. Then he dumped her because she was normal, and now apparently she's out for revenge against him," Rogue explained quickly. "According to her, she wants to be on our side."

"Though I don't trust her," Logan said.

"Nor do I, but Hank does, for some reason," Storm said.

"She told me last night that, even though she had her powers again, she's weaker. She can only take two forms." Logan grunted at Rogue's words.

"I don't believe a word out of her mouth," Bobby said crossly.

"Why should we?" Peter asked.

"The only reason I can think of is that she does know how Magneto works. If she isn't playing us all for fools, she would be very valuable." Storm looked displeased as she was saying this. Before much else could be said on the topic, the conference phone rang. Storm reached for it, pressing the speaker button. "Hello?"

"Hello!" came the familiar voice of Hank McCoy. "Have I missed much?"

"Nothing you didn't already know," answered Logan.

"Good to hear."

"Why're you so happy?" Bobby asked.

"I've got wonderful news from Kurt." Rogue straightened up a bit at the mention of Kurt. She had a soft spot for the man, shunned for who he was, and still a good person, really. Though maybe she just liked men who saved her life. She tuned back into what Hank was saying. "...says he's making good progress in Germany. The mutants there seem willing to work for harmony, and most of the humans do as well. As always, there's some who don't, but those folks are very much the minority there."

"That's wonderful," Storm said. "Good for him!"

"I know, it's quite impressive. So, any news on the Magneto front?"

"Nothing new," Storm answered. "No real plan either, though I talked to Charles about it."

"Me too," Logan said. The teenagers in the room listened intently.

"He thinks it won't be too much of a problem. He feels that there is a lot more understanding between mutants and humans, and so mutants won't be as willing to join a place that is nothing more than the equivalent of a gym."

"Although, he hasn't been out and about, so I don't know how accurate that theory is," Logan countered.

"I agree with you Logan," said Hank thoughtfully. "Depending on the mutant power, if they received that letter there's a chance they'd take a safe place."

"So we're still stuck with what to do," Storm sighed.

"Well, Mystique and I still are trying to pull strings, find out where exactly Magneto is. The minute one of us does, we'll let you know. Maybe if we can find that out, we'll have a better chance at coming up with a counter plan."

"It could also be too late then," Logan said darkly.

"Do we have much else of a choice?" Storm asked.

"Not now," Logan sighed.

"Well, then I'll let you go. Time's just being frittered away. Goodbye," Hank said.

"Bye," chorused the room, and then there was the click of the connection closing.

"This is a bad situation," Bobby remarked.

"Yes," Storm sighed. "Which is why I want all of you to go and relax. We need to be in peak form. I know it's still kind of early, but sleep is always appreciated." Everyone left pretty quickly, nerves and fatigue a bad combination for all of them.

"I'll catch up with you later, I want to check in on Jubilee," Logan whispered in Rogue's ear. She sighed, but nodded. Watching him leave, there was a pang of that confused feeling inside her again.

Without much else to do, Rogue headed towards her room, feeling a bad mood coming on. Of course, if she chose to admit it, she had been in a bad mood all day, which was what always happened when she didn't get enough sleep the night before.

Still, seeing Bobby kiss Kitty on the way wasn't really helpful.

Rogue was pouting in her room. She couldn't think of much else to do, until she rummaged through some drawers and found her faded deck of playing cards. She was halfway though a game of solitaire when the knock on her door startled her.

It's hard to classify knocks, but this was definitely a hesitant one.

"Logan?" Rogue said softly when she opened her door and saw him filling the space. He slipped in and nudged the door with his foot, letting it click shut behind him as he reached out and drew Rogue close to him and kissed her deeply.

"Logan?" Rogue questioned him again when he pulled away. Her neck was tilted at an awkward angle and he put his hand behind her neck, letting her relax back on it.

"Sorry," he said. "You really scared me today."

"I'm sorry," she said. "Just the day to day trials of an X-Men."

"I know," he sighed, pulling her against his chest and burying his face in her hair.

"Logan?" Rogue spoke his name for the third time, highly unnerved by his odd behavior. She felt him shake slightly before pulling away.

"I get weird when I don't get as much sleep as I'm used too," he said, looking over her room. "Playing solitaire?"

"Losing," Rogue admitted. "Wanna play something?"

"Sure." They settled down on her bed.

"War," decided Rogue, and she gathered up the cards to divide the deck in half. Logan made a face and Rogue giggled for the first time all day. She gave him his half and they began.

"Are you alright?" Logan asked her as they played.

"Yeah, I've been fine since I'm all healed up."

"No, I mean, something seems to be bothering you."

"You know, something has been. I feel like you've been leaving me all day to be with Jubilee."

"She's a student. It's my job to keep her safe."

"Well, when I know she has a crush on you, it makes it uncomfortable for me."

"I don't know why," Logan answered. "If I were interested in her that way, I'd still be in the hospital wing, not here playing cards with you." He groaned as Rogue won the battle they'd been having, her three trumping his two. She giggled again. "That's not funny," he said shortly.

"No, it really is," she said, giggling harder. A gleam entered Logan's eyes.

"I'll tell you what's funny," he said. Reaching out, he wiggled his fingers and suddenly Rogue was laughing hysterically as he tickled her.

"No, stop, stop!" she gasped, laughing harder. She flopped back on the bed and he crept forward. Their card game forgotten, he straddled her hips and leaned down. He stopped tickling her as he kissed her and Rogue arched up into the kiss.

There was something almost desperate in their actions, and as she raked her fingers through his hair, Rogue wondered what was going through his mind.

His hands slid up under her shirt, the roughness feeling strangely pleasant against her skin and she shivered as he whispered her name in her ear. Every kiss was a treat, making up for her pretty bad day, and she couldn't help but thrust her body up against his.

Her love drugged mind struggled to clear itself as she felt an undeniable bulge against her lower half, while one of Logan's hands was attempting to undo her bra as the other was sliding uncomfortably lower on her body. Her body seemed to act on its own accord, attempting to pull Logan's body closer. He responded to her, and suddenly her bra was off, her shirt was off, his shirt was off, and he had reached out and turned off her bedside light.

In the darkness of her room, on her bed, half nude, Rogue couldn't explain the sensations running through her mind and body. Every time he kissed her skin she felt breathless but something struggled in her mind, a little thought she was trying to ignore.

What was he doing, how far was he planning on going tonight, she wasn't ready for something like this! Was she? She had certainly loved him long enough, and he might have too, but when he didn't even want them to have a public relationship, was it alright for them to be doing this?

"Logan?" she questioned, her voice soft in the dark air. He paused, his face right above hers. She could barely make out his features but his eyes gleamed. He looked down at her, underneath him, taking in her uncertainty and longing, and Rogue sensed the same emotions from him. Suddenly he pulled himself back, away from her, panting slightly.

"Marie," he whispered, and as she shivered she was suddenly very aware of her state of undress.

"What're we doing?" she asked in a small voice, backing up against her headboard and tucking her knees up against her chest. She grabbed a pillow for cover as well. He slid off her bed and turned her light on, both of them blinking against it. Rogue almost burst into tears as she saw the ashamed look on Logan's face.

"I sorry, I didn't mean for it to go that far, I just, well I don't know. There's not justification for it, but I missed you and I was worried about you today, and then we were here and you seemed fine with it and..." He turned away from her.

"No Logan, I know, I wanted it too, I just wasn't sure if now..." Rogue trailed off, his bare slumped shoulders a heavy reminder of what had happened.

"I sorry," he repeated, "I didn't mean for it, I'm sorry, I'll go." He stumbled towards her door.

"No, Logan!" Rogue didn't want the night to end on this note. He paused, but didn't turn around. She climbed off the bed, completely disregarding any thoughts of modesty and hurried towards him. Reaching out, she touched his arm, and he still didn't turn around. "Look, I understand, I got carried away too," she said softly. "Can we both agree to control ourselves better?"

"I'm sorry," he said, so softly she almost didn't hear.

"I know," she responded. Hesitantly, she crossed in front of him, trying to catch his gaze. "I know," she repeated. He finally raised his eyes to meet hers. "Let me get ready for bed. If it's ok with you, I want you to stay with me until I fall asleep." She leaned into his chest, encircling him with her arms, not aware that her own bare chest was causing him even more complications.

"I don't think that's a wise idea," Logan said quietly, almost strained. "Thank you for stopping me." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, and then he was gone. Rogue stood there for a moment before rapidly blinking back tears. What was happening in her world? Nothing was stable, nothing lasted, and nothing good ever happened often enough. She crossed her arms over her front, covering herself as she felt even more confused with what was happening.

When she finally got to sleep that night, all she had was nightmares of Magneto killing Logan in front of her...