REVISED CHAPTER
A/N: Man this one went on forever. It just contains (mostly) pointless descriptions of the Meet the Team videos. Definitely like this one better than the past few chapters, but I guess it could be boring because it is just describing the video's, albeit with reactions.
Decided to leave out meet the Sandvich because it didn't really pertain to the specific classes. It just had the dialogue of a fight between the Scout, Soldier and Heavy.
I used the video transcripts heavily when writing this, so that might be why their accents seem to be missing. I was lazy and didn't want to write in their dialogue.
Chapter 14: Meet the Team
She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It cost four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon for twelve seconds.
"Da, is true." the Heavy said, smiling proudly of what was said in the video.
The video cut to the Heavy rotating the barrel of his mini-gun, inspecting it. A shocked look appeared on the Heavy's face.
Oh my god, who touched Sasha? Who touched my gun!
The Heavy's once proud smile quickly turned to that of a frown as he recalled a distasteful memory.
"Leetle baby Scout was the one who touched Sasha. Taught him lesson."
The Scout, on the other end of the mercenaries, looked guilty and scared as he remembered the painful beating the Heavy gave him the following evening.
"Yeah, I definitely learned not to touch Sasha after that." he grinned, "Right after I took her out for a steak dinner."
"Only I can take Sasha out for dinner!" yelled the hulking Russian.
The Heavy lunged for the Scout, only to smash into the Engineer that was attempting to stop a fight before it happened. The force the Russian produced, knocked the Texan clean off his feet, sending him sliding back a few feet. Rubbing his throbbing chest, the Engineer got up and walked between the two.
"Now, fellas, now is not the time to fight. Let's get this over with. I'm sure some of us are waiting for to see our video. Ya'll made us miss the rest of the video anyways, and were not rewinding." the Engineer said, waving a finger in disapproval at their actions.
"All that was left was the Heavy saying how no one can outsmart a bullet and then him standing on a hill shooting down BLU's." May said.
"But, that was best part. Shooting down baby BLU's." the Heavy said in disappointment.
"Don't worry, Heavy, I'll show you the rest some other time. Now though, I believe the Soldier is next."
She scrolled through the playlist on her phone and tapped on the 'Meet the Soldier' video. The television screen showed the same images as the phone connected to it and currently showed the beginning of the video. A BLU Pyro was standing on a pile of crates firing his flamethrower at the screen. He soon shut off the flamethrower, raised it above his head laughing and was soon blown up by a rocket that entered from the right side of the screen. Next, a drinking Demoman was blasted into pieces by another rocket, and then a Heavy taunting at the screen before it finally turned to the title card that said 'Meet the Soldier.'
"Hehe..." the American muttered.
If fighting is to result in victory then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor.
"Couldn't have said it any better!" the Soldier shouted.
The video cut to an action scene, highlighting the Soldier's best moments on the battlefield. After a few seconds, it cut back to The Soldier, who was talking to what seemed like people.
Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat and then he beat the crap out of every single one!
The video once again cut back to the fight, showing the Soldier blowing up a Sentry.
"Hehe, that'll teach the grease monkey." he mumbled under his breath.
The virtual soldier landed on the capture point, right after gibbing a Heavy and Pyro, as a Spy uncloaked, about to backstab him. The Soldier rummaged around his bag and quickly pulled out his collapsing shovel, swinging it swiftly around. The shovel made contact with the Spy's face as the video freeze framed on the Spy spurting out blood from where the Shovel had hit him in the face.
And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo!
The camera changed angles to show that the Soldier had been talking to a bunch of severed heads perched on a wooden fence. The rest of the team looked in disgust of the video, as the Soldier smiled proudly at the computerized version of himself and his precious heads.
The severed medic head slid off the fence and the video changed to the End card that played with the theme song, zooming out of the Soldier and onto the rest of the team.
Unless it's a farm!
The video cut off, and the Soldier stood there still smiling at his video.
"That was the best damn video ever created!" yelled the Soldier.
"Nu uh, mine is da best!"
He pointed to himself with a smug smile plastered across his face.
"Maggot, we have not even seen yours. It's probably crap that was produced by the commies!"
"Hey, hey calm down." May said, "Scout, we'll get to yours soon but the Engineer's next"
She saw the Engineer frown as she said that, but promptly turned the video on.
Dell was already familiar with the video even though he had only seen it once a year ago. The impression it left on him was far to great to forget it. He remembered seeing the cartoon version of himself copy what he had said before hand to the Director exactly. Every movement, saying and tone was exactly the same. Back then seeing it for the first time brought incredible shock, but having come to terms with the truth after a year, the video of his monologue about practical problems and strumming his guitar wasn't as shocking.
"Well, that was boring." the Scout said.
"You know what, boy? I don't care what you think right now. Let's just get this over with" he said, annoyed and exasperated.
"Sheesh, what's wrong with ya?"
"Nothing. Next video."
"Uh, OK." May said.
Boom
Boom
Boom
The Demoman was running out of a hall, avoiding explosions as he jumped out of the building. The video cut to the Demoman sitting at table, talking to someone.
What makes me a good Demoman? f I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I?!
The Demoman was now running out of the starting room into battle, exploding bombs everywhere. Suddenly it cut back to the Demoman sitting back at the table.
One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie!
Again, it switched back to the fight, showing the Demoman running towards an active firing Sentry. The Scout next to him collapsed, but he continued on, firing grenades from his launcher. As he made progress towards the Sentry, the video switched back and forth between the fight and the Demoman chugging his scrumpy.
The Sentry exploded on contact with the grenades, flinging bits of metal everywhere. The Demoman slammed his bottle down, looking more noticeably drunk than before.
I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops. They've got more f-*BEEEEEEP* than they've got the likes of me.
He picks up the empty bottle but notices the camera and begins talking again as the scene changes back to the battle.
So..T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure. Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!
The Demoman on screen notices a hoard of BLU's advancing towards him. He runs off into the opposite direction and comes out of the large door frame. Smirking, he forms a plan and begins to cover to door frame with sticky bombs.
I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end!
The BLU's run up to the Demoman who is standing there, drinking. The Heavy at the front of the pack notices the bombs as he continues to run forward with a shocked expression. The Demoman salutes them and triggers the bombs to explode, gibbing every BLU that was unfortunate enough to follow him.
The camera angle changes to one on the ground as the Demoman goes up to it.
Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!
The video ended, causing the Demoman to call out in triumph.
"That was one bloody good video!" he said, raising his bottle into the air.
"Who the hell cares?! Where's mine!" yelled the Scout.
"It's next, so calm down." May said.
The Scout and the rest of his team was peeking out of a slightly raised warehouse door, analyzing the BLU infested battlefield. He cocked his gun, ran out and was greeted by a sentry guns bullets. Being the runner he is, he quickly ran forward, strafing around the bullets. He jumped off a roof top onto another.
The Scout was being pursued by a Soldier and Pyro. Attempting to get rid of them, he ran into an open building that held some train tracks down the middle.
Ding, Ding
The Soldier and Pyro weren't fast enough and were run over by an oncoming train just as the Scout narrowly avoided it and ran up the stairs.
"Aw man that was freakin awesome!" the Scout yelled.
"Just watch the dang video, boy." the Enginner said in irritation.
The title card popped up with the fan fare playing, expecting to go to a following scene, but instead the Scout walked out from the right, clapping his hands together.
Um... I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?
The scene changes to a BLU Heavy about to eat a sandwich when his head is bumped with a bat. Confused, the Heavy turns his head only to see a crouching Scout.
Yo, what's up?
It changes back to the Scout in front of the title card, emphasizing his importance.
D-Do you have any idea, any idea who I am?
It cuts back to the Heavy and Scout fighting with the Heavy throwing punches with a Scout effortlessly dodging. The Scout is screaming sarcastically as he easily moves out of the way of the punches.
It again cuts back to the lone Scout.
Basically - kind of a big deal!
The Scout is on top of the Heavy, strangling him with his aluminum bat as the Heavy attempts to pull it off.
It cut's back to the Scout, staring in admiration at his flexed arm.
Oh man, that's beautiful !
The Heavy now has the Scout in a headlock, who is attempting to break free from his grasp.
Ya' listenin'? OK. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha' I hurt people.
He pokes the camera, leaving a finger print as it goes back to the fight.
Boink!
The Scout swings his bat into the Heavy's stomach.
I'm a force a' nature!
Bonk!
The bat is swiftly slammed into the Heavy's head causing him to bend back by the force.
If you were from where I was from, you'd be f**kin' dead!
The Heavy screams, reaching for his uneaten sandwich as the Scout jumps up the sides of shipping crates. He jumps off and slams the bat down onto the collapsed Heavy's head, knocking him unconscious.
Woo!
Like the other videos, it cuts to the ending picture with the theme music. It fades to the Scout sitting on top of an unconscious Heavy, enjoying the sandwich that the Heavy was never able to enjoy.
"That was the best freakin one ever! They captured my awesomeness perfectly!" he yelled in triumph.
"Boy, I already told you to settle down!" yelled the irritated Engineer.
May ignored it and just went on to the next video.
A camper van zoomed down an empty road in the middle of a desert, slightly swerving. It cut to the inside of the van, showing the bobble head of a man that was bobbing back and forth. A hand move toward it, flicking the head.
Boom, headshot.
The title card popped up like all the other videos, but this time said 'Meet the Sniper.'
May smiled slightly, seeing as how this was one of her favorites...well at least half of them were her favorites, but regardless, she enjoyed this one.
The Sniper sat there in the driver's seat, driving his van as he spoke to the camera.
Snipin's a good job, mate! It's challengin' work, outta doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry-
The Sniper is standing in what appears to be a bathroom, hat off, brushing his teeth. He looks at the photos of the BLU Engineer, Heavy and Scout that are lined up vertical on the right side of the mirror, spitting and wiping his mouth, returning his gaze to the only one that didn't have a red X marked through it, the Heavy.
'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.
The view changes to the scoped Sniper view as he puts a bullet between the BLU Heavy's eyes, causing him to collapse instantly without a scream. The bullet penetrated his head and continued to travel farther till it shattered the bottle of a Demoman that had been drinking behind the Heavy. A shard of the bottle embedded itself into the Demoman's eye, causing him to panic. He frantically moved around while blindly launching grenades. The Demoman, along with his grenades, fell over the edge and onto a cluster of explosive barrels, causing them to explode.
Ooh.
It cuts to the Sniper talking on a pay phone, in the middle of the desert.
Dad? Dad, I'm a- Ye- Not a "crazed gunman", dad, I'm an assassin! ...Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's a mental sickness!
Scratching his cheek, the Sniper continues to drive his van while conversing towards the camera.
I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it
The Sniper is now climbing up a large tower as the music continues to play (specifically a fan fare plays as he climbs). In the tower, the Sniper is surveying the scene through his sniper rifle.
I think his mate saw me.
Bullets began to fly at him, ricocheting off the metal railing. The Sniper begins to back away from the fire.
Yes, yes he did.
It cuts to the Sniper, now in a closed tower, showing a time lapse of him sitting there, still and waiting for a target to come in sight. Hours pass as he only moves for a sip of coffee and to relieve himself into clear jars he places behind him.
Boom!
A BLU Spy is now being penetrated by the Sniper's signature Kukri. He falls to the ground as the Sniper pulls out his kukri.
Feelins'? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings?
It cuts back to the driving Sniper.
Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards.
The Sniper takes of his hat a places it across his chest as a sign of "respect" to the dead Spy.
Be polite.
Zoomed into the scope, once again, he fires three shots consecutively killing a Medic, Soldier and a Pyro.
Be efficient.
The camera moves around to the front of the rifle's barrel, having it pointing directly at the screen.
Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Boom!
The screen turns black, but then quickly turns to the title card like every other video. It suddenly cut's back to the Sniper on the phone, arguing with his father.
"Dad... Dad p-, yeah - put Mum on the phone!
"I think that was a pretty bloody good video. Captures me and my skill well enough" the Sniper said, content with his video.
"Guess, it captures your parental problems pretty well, huh?" May said, snickering.
"Oi! Let's not get into that! Next video." the Sniper snapped.
"Fine, fine." she muttered, playing the next video.
Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!
A loud warning bell was going off as the BLU Soldier checked enormous security panel that had the panels 'Intruder Alert', 'Red Spy' and 'In Base' lit up.
Soldier: A RED Spy is in the base!?
The Soldier grabbed a shot gun off the rack and began to run down the hall and stairs, quickly trying to get to his destination.
Protect the briefcase!
Soldier: We need to protect the briefcase!
He looked around, getting his attention caught by the Scout tugging on a locked door.
Scout: Yo, a lil' help here!?
The Soldier runs up to the boy and pushes him a side. He briefly stands there, thinking of the pass code.
Soldier: All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1
Scout: Let's, go, let's go-
Suddenly the BLU Heavy runs up from behind the two, screaming.
Heavy: INCOMING!
The Scout and Soldier scream in fear as the Heavy smashes between them, into the door, breaking it down and shattering the glass. They run up to see the brief case is still there, sitting in its normal place.
Scout: AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!
Heavy: AAAAalright then.
From the broken door frame, the BLU Spy appears, holding a dead Sniper over his shoulder.
Spy: Ahem, Gentlemen.
Finally the title card appears, allowing for the RED team to voice their annoyed opinions.
"Why the crap are we watchin the BLU's?!" the Scout yelled in confusion and anger.
"These maggots don't deserve their own video!" the Soldier screamed.
"Hey, calm down. This actually highlights the RED Spy, so just keep watching." May said.
She looked over to the Spy, seeing him smirking at the screen. She figured that he must already know what happened.
The BLU Spy walks over to the desk, still carrying the Sniper over his shoulder.
Spy: I see the briefcase is safe.
Soldier: Safe and sound, mm-hmm
Scout: Yeah, it is!
Spy: Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?
The three of them shrugged.
Spy: No? Then we still have a problem.
The Spy placed the Sniper on the desk, revealing a butterfly knife sticking out of his back.
Soldier: ...and a knife.
The Scout walks towards the corpse and pulls out the knife, not intimidated by the current situation. He spins the knife around, in attempt to manipulate it as well as the Spy does.
Scout: Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like you!
The knife nicks him, causing him to drop it.
Scout: Ow! No offense.
The Spy picks up the knife, elaborately spinning it the way the Scout attempted to, showing off.
Spy: If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me." [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout] "And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building.
Scout: What're you? President of his fan club?
The Soldier and Heavy chuckle at the Scout's statement as the Spy walks up to the Scout shaking his hand and revealing a file folder.
Spy: No... that would be your mother!
The Spy throws the file onto the table, revealing pictures of the RED Spy and BLU Scout's mother sharing intimacy together.
The RED Spy stared at the screen in shock, just as the rest of his team stared at him in confusion.
"Uh, zhat is completely false. I 'ave never been with zhe BLU Scout's mother." he said, trying to stay calm and composed.
"Yeah, sure frenchie. These videos are accurate meani-" the Engineer said, only to be cut off.
"We do not fraternize with the enemy's mother, maggot!" yelled a furious Soldier.
"Spill it." commanded the Engineer.
"Merde, fine I 'ave 'ad a relationship with zhe BLU Scout's mother, but in my defense I was not aware of who her son was when I started zhe relationship. Zhe relationship 'as end zhough, so you do not 'ave to worry." he said, calmly, though May could detect a hint of sadness in his voice.
"Once a traitor always a traitor!" yelled the Soldier.
"Calm down, lad." the Demoman said.
"You do not order me to calm down!"
"Aye, don't think ye want me to shut you up, now do ye?" the Demoman said with a threatening tone.
Knowing full well of what the Demoman was capable of and the fact that he currently didn't have a weapon on him, the Soldier promptly shut up and continued to watch the rest of the remaining short even though their argument distracted them from some of the video.
Now It showed the RED Spy sneaking around the corner, watching the Sentry that was active in front of him. He ran out and threw a sapper underneath the Sentry, effectively sapping it, causing it to explode.
"To bad zhat is impossible to do.." muttered the real Spy.
Engineer: Sentry down!
The BLU Engineer scrambled to pull out and aim his pistol but he wasn't quick enough and was promptly shot in the head by the Spy's revolver. The Engineer slams against a door, blood staining it, as it opens up allowing the Spy to step through and fire at something off screen.
The camera switched back to the BLU Spy explaining the dangers of the RED Spy. The camera pans down to the lifeless Sniper.
Spy: You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!
The scene changes to a dusty room which is being used by the BLU Sniper. The Sniper is sitting, patiently on the look out for anyone that could possibly become his next victim.
Creak
Sniper: eh?
He quickly turns around only to meet the RED Spy who forcefully kicks him back to the boarded up window that he had previously been looking out of. The boards break and the Sniper grabs for his Kukri and attempts to slash at the Spy, only to have him evade ever attack. The RED Spy, seeing an opening, slashes the Sniper's cheek, causing him to feel the wound with his hand. The Sniper lunges once more, but again, misses as the Spy slashes his stomach, stunning him, then quickly backstabbing him. With a knife in his spine, the Sniper stumbles over the edge of the raised room.
Again, it cuts back to the men in the intelligence room.
Spy: And worst of all, he could be any one of us...
The video fades to the RED Spy blocking the BLU Medic's attempt at slashing him with his bonesaw.
Medic: Raus, raus!
The Spy grabs and twist's the Medic's arm, effectively breaking it, as he transforms into the Medic that stands defenseless before him.
Medic: Nein...
With a chop to the neck, the Spy kills the Medic with a force strong enough to cause his glasses to fly up into the air. The Spy caught them with a swift hand and placed them on his disguised face.
The video cuts back to the BLU Spy, though he begins to look worried.
Spy: He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-
The Spy was cut off by his head no longer existing. It was blown to bits by the Soldier firing his shot gun directly into his face. The headless corpse fell to the ground as a panicked and confused Heavy and Scout react in the background.
Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
Heavy: "Oh!"
Soldier: What? It was obvious!
The Soldier pumps the shotgun, releasing the used shell.
Soldier: He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now...
The Heavy and Soldier move closer to the body to inspect it further. He pokes it with the shotgun, expecting for the disguise to wear off.
Soldier: Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait... that's blood.
Heavy: So, we still got problem...
Soldier: Big problem...
The camera pans behind the two, showing the lingering Scout slowly move closer to the two. He takes out the butterfly knife that had previously been in the Sniper's back and flips it open with much more skill than he showed he was capable of before.
Soldier: All right, who's ready to go find this Spy?
As the Scout appears closer to the two, he flickers as a light gray smoke appears, melting away his disguise, revealing the RED Spy.
Spy: Right behind you.
The Heavy and Soldier gasp in surprised but are quickly stabbed off screen as the end card plays. The screen fades to the scattered photo's of the Spy and Scout's mother. Photo's of the two in intimacy are pushed away by the Spy's gloved hand, leaving only one photo that showed the two hand in hand, walking down a hallway. The Spy picks it up, smiling at the fond memory he had made with her.
Spy: Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur.
May glanced over to the Spy and saw a small sad smile appear for a brief second before the Spy realized it was there, and quickly wiped it away.
'What really happened?' she thought.
May knew now was not the time to ask, so, hoping that it wasn't wrong of her to ask, she would question him later.
"OK, only two left. Up next is the Medic's. Personally this one was my favorite." she said smiling.
"Hey, what about my awesome one?" the Scout shouted in protest.
"Sorry, I just really like this one. Maybe you'll see why." she said as the video loaded.
Birds sat peacefully on a rocky hillside, chirping contently. They were soon interrupted by a fiery explosion when an injured Scout and wheel chaired Demoman appeared from the other side of the rocks, jumping over in an attempt to runaway from whatever produced the explosion.
Scout: Move cyclops, move!
They continued to run, only to have a rocket exploded at the Scout's feet, propelling him downwards.
Scout: Come on, come on, almost - augh!
He fell to the ground and attempted to get up, but was soon met with a barrage of rockets
Scout: Whoah! What the f-
The rockets exploded around him flinging him towards the faraway camera. He smashed into a window that was placed in front of the camera.
Scout: Medic...
The Scout, weak and injured greatly, slid down the window as the Heavy and Medic inside were laughing at, not the Scout, but the story the Medic was telling. The Camera pans down to the two, revealing the Heavy's open chest that exposed all his organ's, with his heart in the Medic's hands.
Medic: "Wait, wait, wait, it gets better. When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!
The doctor laughed madly, as the Heavy pauses, allowing a second for him to realize what was funny. The Heavy, after realization, let out a bellowing laugh and slammed his hand down on the surgical table besides him.
Medic: Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license, heh.
The Heavy's face quickly turned to that of happiness to one of concern when he heard that the doctor no longer had a medical license. Suddenly, a pure white dove, splattered with blood, pops its head out of the Heavy's exposed chest.
Medic: Archimedes! No!
He shoes the dove away in disapproval.
Medic: It's filthy in there! Eugh. Birds.
The camera cuts to a device laying on a tray, which is then picked up by the Medic.
Medic: Now, most hearts couldn't withstand this voltage,
He stabs the device into the Heavy's heart and holds it up to the Medi guns beam.
Medic: ...but I'm fairly certain your heart...
Whirrr, Ploosh!
The heart exploded, with a piece of it knocking Archimedes off his perch. The Medic had a look of shock on his face, as he believed/hoped that his heart was not going to exploded like all the previous ones.
Heavy: What was noise?
The Medic quickly removes the remaining piece of the Heavy's non-existent heart off of the device.
Medic: The sound of progress, my friend.
The Medic opens up a nearby fridge revealing an assortment of content, including three heart's, a Sandvich and some beers.
Medic: Ah, perfect...
He grabs the heart labeled 'Mega Baboon,' revealing a still alive Spy head.
Spy Head: Kill me.
Medic: Later.
The Medic closes the fridge and returns back to the Heavy's side with the device in one hand and the Heart in the other.
Medic: "Where was I? Ah, there we go.
He forcefully places the device into the heart and holds it up to the mounted Medi Gun's beam.
Medic: Come on, come on...
As the heart starts to beat, the Medic laughs madly in triumph. The Heavy, looking nervous, possibly at the Medic's mental stability, laughs nervously with him. The meter on the device goes all the way up and the Medic moves his head away, squinting, as the heart brightly flashes red.
The now stabilized heart is glowing a shiny red, but still beating.
Medic: Oh, that looks good.
The Medic carelessly drops the heart into the Heavy's chest cavity.
Medic: Very nice there.
The Heavy cautiously lifts his head up, looking at the protruding heart with concern.
Heavy: Should I be awake for this?
Medic Ah heh. Well, no, heh.
He pushes his sliding glasses back into place.
Medic: But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?
The Heavy places his hand on his rib cage, attempting to help the doctor.
Medic: I can't... seem...
Crack!
Heavy: Augh!
A rib had broken off and was now held in the Heavy's hand, both looking at it.
Medic: Oh, don't be such a baby...
He grabbed the rib and pinched the Heavy's cheek
Medic: ..ribs grow back!
He carelessly tossed the broken rib aside and turned to whisper to his doves.
Medic: No they don't.
The confused bird cocked his head and flew away, leaving the doctor to continue his work. He grabbed the mounted Medi Gun and pulled it towards the Heavy's chest, intensifying its power, allowing it to rapidly heal the chest 'wound' and repairing his torn clothes. The Heavy, fully recovered, inhaled deeply.
Heavy: What happens now?
Medic: Now?
The Medic grabbed his hand, helping him up and chuckling darkly in the process.
Medic: Let's go practice medicine...
It cut to the Medic snapping his gloves on, his recently put on coat settling, and hauling his Quick-Fix onto his back. A door with a medical symbol opened, revealing a prepared Medic as a choir awed at the seemingly magnificent man that walked out. Doves flew around him, showing the man's life saving presence.
The Heavy quickly ran by him and and the camera moves to behind the Medic, showing the battlefield. Rockets were shot everywhere and his fellow teammates laid injured on the ground. The Demoman quickly rides in his wheel chair towards the Medic.
Demoman: Medic!
A rocket blows up from behind him, propelling the wheelchair forward, knocking the Demoman to the ground. The Medic, hearing his teammates help, switches on the Quick-Fix and aims it at the fallen Demoman. A red beam of healing pours out and envelops the Demoman, quickly healing him. The cast that covered is arm were quickly thrown off as the Demoman grabbed his grenade launcher. The Medic re aims the gun at the Scout and, just like the Demoman, he's instantly healed of all ailments. Smirking as his tooth quickly grows back, he grabs his bat and runs away, smacking a BLU Soldier right in the face.
Scout: Woohoohoo!
As the Scout runs excitedly back into battle, The Heavy proceeds to hide behind a truck as a never ending stream of rockets head their way.
Heavy: Doctor, are you sure this will work?!
Medic: Ha ha ha, I have no idea!
The Medic flips a switch, as the panel labeled 'Ubercharge Ready' lights up. His back pack begins to hum, with the power that is being flowed through. As the Medic fires his Quick-Fix at the heavy, he pops out from his cover, shooting at anything he see's. The power begins to affect the Heavy's heart, granting him the miraculous Ubercharge.
Heavy: "EYAAAAAAAAAH!HA HA!
The Heavy begins to walk forward towards a hoard of BLU Soldiers. All rockets fired at him bounce of harmlessly. As the Heavy advances closer and closer towards the oncoming BLU's, his teammates stare at him in awe.
Heavy: I am bulletproof!
Any BLU Soldier's that got in the Heavy's path were effectively killed one by one by his minigun. The Medic followed in suit, standing behind the Heavy as a means of protection. The two climb up a mountain of dead Soldier's as the Medic triumphantly cuts off his Quick-Fix at the top of the mound. Birds fly around him as the chorus once again awes in the feat he had achieved.
The video cut to the title card but quickly cut to the medical bay's waiting room. The camera moves down the rows of waiting chairs where the remaining teammates sat and waited, passing the time in their own way.
Medic (off-screen): That looks good. Very nice there. Yes!
Scout (off-screen): Hey, thanks doc!
The Scout burst through the operation rooms doors with a proud look on his face that quickly turned to that of pain and confusion.
Scout: Awhawhaw, man! You would not BELIEVE ... how much this hurts.
The Scout's chest lightly, but noticeably is pushed out by some force inside of him.
Coo!
Medic: Archimedes?
"Mein gott, I remember zhat day. It vas one of our first battle's together. Originally, I had intended to install zhe Uber technology before zhe battle and zhe Heavy vas zhe first one scheduled for zhe implantation, but ve got sidetracked by stories. Zhe battle started before I could operate on a single one of mein comrades." the Medic said.
"Stories were funny. The surprised face everyone had was funny." the Heavy said, laughing.
"Well I didn't enjoy havin a nasty bird sewn up inside of me, Doc!" the Scout yelled.
"It vas an honest mistake, Herr Scout." he said, grinning.
"Yeah, mistake my ass! Havin that pigeon peck on my insides hurt like hell!"
"Archimedes is not a pigeon, he is a dove." the Medic corrected.
"Who the hell cares? A bird is a bird?"
The Medic scoffed and decided not to argue with the Scout, knowing that he would never shut up.
"Vell zhat vas one of mein finer moments on zhis team. It vas a shame zhat zhe Quick-fix's Ubercharge ability shorted out zhough. It vould have been quite an advantage to be able to heal quickly and deploy and Uber." he said, frowning.
"Alright, well last one guys. You might want to brace yourself for this one though. I have a feeling you don't know anything about this." May said, selecting the final video that people had waited for years.
As it began to play, she noticed that the Pyro was just standing there, staring off into the distance, supposedly in his own little world.
Yeah making the Pyro's a separate chapter because this was going on too long.
Fun Fact:
The Medic met and obtained Archimedes and the rest of his doves after stealing a catering van from the prime minister's wedding. (yeah pretty well known but I couldn't think of a good fact)