I suggest you listen to Undertale OST - Waterfall and loop it while reading this. At least for, like, the first half of the chapter.

I don't know how long I remain like that. Unable to control my emotions, my mind surprisingly blank. Absent as tears continue to pour from my eyes.

What the hell, indeed, Caroline?

Eventually, I straighten myself, wiping my face with the back of my hands. I can't stay here forever. This is still Frisk's chance at survival and mine. And Undyne can't freaking say if Papyrus and Sans are my real friends or not. If I'm a real friend or not. She doesn't get to decide that. That's for us to decide and I know I'm not just using anybody. I care about them! That's just part of her human-hating delirium.

Pinche pez.

I sniff, looking at the fluorescent mushrooms around me. This is my shot. If Undyne gave up, which I doubt, I can win by default. But if she didn't, which I'm almost certain of, she's obviously coming back.

I kick random mushrooms at the same time I try to memorize the paths they activate, Undyne's words and face haunting me all the while. My emotions are a mess, but as much as my inner world is begging at me to do something about it, I don't want to face Undyne anytime soon. I feel extremely fragile right now. I can only hope Papyrus is having a much better time with Frisk.

Eventually, I find the right combination of mushrooms and the exit is open for me. I'm physically tired of all the jogging and emotionally exhausted because of the arguing and the tears I had to swallow.

I jog, hoping the next room has something better in store for me.

A girl can dream, right?

Total darkness suffocates my body and my knees tremble. I'd rather keep arguing with Undyne than cross this room.

A chill runs down my spine until I glimpse a lamp next to a large purple crystal to my left. I hesitantly lift my hand and poke it like it might explode.

I shrink at first, but then relax at the sudden sight of the whole room. I can even see the exit and other crystals around, along a few lamps. There are other paths intertwining, but the main one is perfectly clear. No time to waste.

Slightly calmer, I jog, my strides shorter and weaker. I want water. I find comfort and relief at Undyne's absence and at the fact I didn't have to face a pitch-black room.

That is until the light goes out.

The last thing I see is how far the closer lamp is.

"H-hello? Is-is someone there?" I call out as panic begins like a cluster of spark plugs in my abdomen. Tension grows in my face and limbs. "G-Gerson?"

I try to move but to no avail. There are magnetic walls everywhere. And if I touch the real walls I'll be disqualified and all of this would have been for nothing.

My breathing becomes more rapid, more shallow. My heart is hammering inside my chest. I move, rapidly, a rush of energy flooding my suddenly self-autonomous body. I advance, but since the path is anything but straight I can't tell if I'm going in the right direction or not. But I think I am. It remember it was an easy path to follow.

Then I hit magnetic walls. No lamps, nor crystals around.

I freeze. My brain is demanding the energetic expenditure of an athlete but won't tell my limbs what to do.

"P-please! Is someone th-there?!"

This darkness seems different. I keep imagining ghosts and monsters observing me, ready to do with me as they please, lurking in the dark. In this cage. Trapped with me, for who knows how long. My breath comes in gasps. I feel so scared. So imprisoned. So lost. So alone. So…

…hurt.

Wait.

That's… that's not mine.

Forcing my breathing to stabilize, since panicking won't help, I wipe the tears from my face even though it's useless since I can't see anyways.

There is something different about this darkness. Soon my fear distorts. It distorts into grief, powerlessness and hopelessness, making it impossible for me to hold my tears back.

It's a quiet wave of pain. A shared, almost ancestral one. So many have felt this way. My chest aches as my sobs continue. Poor people. What the hell happened to them? At first there are so many tiny emotions that I can't find the exact name for the type of sad, bitter and quiet sensation they leave in me. Feelings are like colors and flavors. There are many variations, even if they have the same name. You can feel sad in so many different ways and I can't define what this one is like. It tastes of pure, innocent dreams being murdered and a broken future. It tastes of loss and of melancholy. It tastes of silent tears and laments. It tastes of desolation and deep rejection. It tastes of unfairness and fear. It tastes of worthlessness and impotence. It tastes of being unappreciated and inexistent. It tastes of hopelessness and dark oblivion. But then I know the word. I know what all of this feels like.

It feels like abuse.

Somehow that realization only makes me cry more.

It's useless to talk to my guides when I'm this emotionally unstable. Yet as soon as I have the thought, Undyne comes to mind.

Yeah, I don't think so. I'm too stubborn and proud. I won't face her. Not like this. I refuse to ask her for help. I'll manage. Either that or I'll simply get myself disqualified, whatever. This is more than I can handle.

"U-undyne? A-are y-you there? Undyne?" I'm calling out to her before I can stop myself. Yeah, I should have known. My pride is the least of my priorities right now. "U-undyne, I... I know you don't want to talk t-to me but… I'm… I'm lost…" I try to sound as clear as I can between hiccups. "I'm s-sorry."

My shoulders shake and I can't stop myself from sobbing. The pain grows but it now mixes with my own pain for the poor souls who have felt like this and were never acknowledged. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" I whisper, bracing myself. "You didn't deserve it… Any of you… You didn't do anything wrong… I am so, so sorry…"

"…Coward?"

I am startled by the voice behind me, my eyes widening as I spin on my heels. The fish monster with the one eye glares at me, holding her cellphone to illuminate my swollen face.

But I don't see the way her eye looks at me with distrust and contempt. I don't see the way she stands as if she's wasting her time.

This time I only see a woman that sincerely wants to help her people. The woman that's invested her time and her efforts trying to figure out how to truly help in the only way she knows. A woman that doesn't want any more suffering. That doesn't want to suffer herself. A woman that's desperately looking for a way to relieve others' pain.

The woman that came to my aid, even though we're in a competition and we had an ugly argument.

My face scrunches up, tears streaming down and my voice raises an octave. "…Undyne."

"What's gotten into you, coward? Your weak mind finally snapped? This is pathetic even for your pathetic standards. What are you- WOAH! C-COWARD! WHAT THE HELL!?"

"I'm sorry!" I hug her tighter. "I'm sorry f-f-for everything I said! And- and- and, please, in name of all the humans who-who did this, I… I'm sorry… n-none of you deserved this…"

"C-coward, wh-! let go of me right now! You're wetting my shirt!"

"You were right, Undyne. I am a coward… I d-didn't talk to Papyrus and Sans about me leaving be-because I didn't know what I was going to do if I ever left the Underground… and I d-didn't want to think about g-goodbyes… You're right… it did cross my mind asking other humans for- for safety measures once I left! B-b-but I swear it was to protect other hu-humans and not because I wanted something bad t-t-to happen to any of th-the monsters, or t-to trap them! I thought y-y-you living h-h-here was intentional! And- your talent show act was awesome and I was jealous b-b-because Frisk looked so happy with y-you and- and y-you're no coward and-"

"Coward. Shut it. RIGHT. NOW. I'm not talking to you until you regain some of your scarce dignity. Just let me go!"

I shake my head, squeezing her stiff body.

"I'm sorry…" I whisper.

"Ughhh I heard you the first time, dammit. Stop it!"

Undyne makes noises of annoyance, yet doesn't attempt to remove me. Not even once. She lets me remain like that for a few minutes, because I'm so not letting go. Finally I do what she said in the first place and recover some of my scarce dignity.

I gently let go of her, sniffing. "Th-thank you." I shrug, averting her gaze. "And sorry."

"For Asgore's sake, would you stop apologizing already?!" She shakes her head before she points the screen of her phone to her body. "Ewwww, look at what you did. Gross!"

I open my mouth and in an instant she menacingly points her finger at me. "Dare to say you're sorry just one more time, and I'm outta here."

My mouth remains open for a second before I purse my lips and silently nod.

"Hmph. Good." She rolls her eye. "Now follow me before I change my mind." She turns around and begins walking. I follow close behind.

She touches a lamp and I mentally bless her for making the darkness go away. We keep walking in silence for several moments.

"Um, Undyne…?"

"What I told you about saying sorry still stands."

"O... Okay." Shoot. "Well, um… Undyne. When you and I argued… You were right. I mean, not in everything but… about me not being completely honest with myself, Sans and Papyrus. You-"

"BOH-RING! You already said that. Jeez, and you call me stupid."

Aha! So you did listen to my crying rambling!

And my words did hurt you...

"Right… but you were also right about my life being fear-driven. And that really hurt. It hurt because it's true… My life out of the Underground is exactly like that. Like you said, I don't just fear challenges and changes, I fear life itself." I look at my feet while I walk. "There are things, small things, I won't do because of my fear, and each day I hate myself for it. Things others easily do. I swear I try, I try really hard, but the fear won't go away. My God, the shame won't go away. And it hurts a lot that it's so painfully obvious that it took you no time to see it."

"Okay. Coward." She halts, quickly spinning on her heels. Her face screams 'uncomfortable'. "I can't have this conversation. As much as I enjoy seeing you make a fool of yourself, this is too much. Even for you."

I remain quiet. She groans again and resumes walking.

"I lied."

She stops. Like I threw a bucket of ice at her. When she doesn't say anything I continue.

"When I… when I said there's only fear behind anger." I shake my head, even though she's not looking at me. "That's not true. There's another feeling."

I expect her to say something. Instead she stays still. Quiet.

"… and what feeling's that, coward?"

A tiny, sad smile appears on my face. "Pain. Hurt. Behind anger and hate, there's always fear and hurt. And about the things I said about you hiding your fear—"

She huffs humorlessly, before she shakes her head in frustration. "Coward, look-"

"No, let me finish. I won't say the 's' word, I promise." She stops speaking and I make a pause, taking a deep breath and continue. "I had no right. I said you don't know me, well, I don't know you either. And also I didn't tell you my whole opinion on the matter, because as much as I am a 'fear-expressive' coward, like I said… the truth is I'm so jealous of you, Undyne." My voice wavers and I bite my lower, slightly trembling lip. "Your fear and your pain don't paralyze you. Mine do. I don't… I don't toughen up for lack of trying, I swear… I don't toughen up because I can't. I can't stop it. I… I don't know what to do with what I feel. I'm not wired like everyone else to just suck it up and move on no matter what you're feeling. I fear my own fear, but the difference is that your life actually continues in spite of it-"

"You're wrong."

Blinking, I tilt my head in confusion. Undyne exhales heavily. She turns around to meet my eyes.

"There are… there are things I won't do either because of my fear. I… you… ugh… youwereright." She looks down, as if those words are difficult to pronounce. I understand (barely) so I don't push it. She scratches her head, fidgeting. "My fear… I… I do despise it. I was so, so pissed when you said deep down I was everything I despised, but I was way more pissed at myself… You forced me to see my own weakness. My own lies… Nobody had ever been so forward with me. At first I didn't get it, it was completely absurd. Of course I don't fear humans! Ridiculous! I mean, jeez, look at you! But then… the thought of us monsters staying here with no hope to leave… their sadness and my impotence… it made sense, y'know? Look, I… I know I can't blame you for the past and for stuff you didn't do. And it's stupid to blame you for not wanting to die, taking it all out on you was… unfair, to say the least." Her voice darkens. "What you said it's true. If I keep pretending my fear and my pain don't exist then… then I'm the coward. I'm just playing dumb and running away from myself! But… you don't. And you don't know how infuriating that is! Say all you want, but you talking to me about this proves my point. I take pride on facing danger head-on, but you… you do something I'm not good at. You face yourself head-on, darkness and all, and that's… that's the opposite of a coward."

I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child, my sight blurry again. I barely reach out for her for a hug. "…Un… Undyne…"

Her face suddenly falls flat. "That's it. I'm leaving." She turns around to walk quickly and I rush after her, not wanting to stay behind.

#

"Wait, that was blood? Really? When I tried to FIGHT you?" Undyne lifts her eyebrow.

I squint in disbelief at Undyne, my eyeballs moving to the sides and back at her as we walk. "Yes! What did you think it was?"

"Huh… since you were staying in Papyrus' house with Sans, I thought it was ketchup he'd given to you or something."

I blink several times before I burst out laughing. "Oh God no, Undyne, that was not ketchup! Hahahah!"

"Oh. Hmm heh… heh heh… hahAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh my Gosh, s-so," I ask, recovering from my giggles, "if you didn't want to make me bleed, what about all the spears you threw at me?"

She groans in frustration, remembering. "You were supposed to deflect bullets with them! But it didn't matter how many I threw at you, you wouldn't go with the flow! Ughhh!"

I throw my head back in laughter. How the heck does Undyne's logic work?

"You're so weird." Undyne says in fake annoyance. I can tell she's repressing a grin.

We both slip into comfortable silence as my laughter gradually dies. And so does my smile. "…Undyne?"

"Yup?"

I gaze ahead. "…Why do you need a human soul?"

Feeling a more stable myself, I feel her energy become more grave. Solemn even. After the episode in the dark room I could get an idea of what was going on, but I'm still missing information. "Thousands of years ago, humans sealed monsters underground. To break the magic barrier, king Asgore needs seven human souls. We're only missing one."

If I was drinking, this is where I would spit it. "ASGORE'S THE KING?"

"Yeah… didn't I tell you?"

"I thought he was your king! Like you were part of a cult or something! Oh wow… And… and the king of monsters wants me dead!?"

Her brow furrows. "It's not like he wants to, he doesn't enjoy any of this, he's a softie! We're… we're desperate, okay? We're not proud, but what are we supposed to do? We've dreamed of a happy ending… of sunlight so many times… It's not fair for them either…" She trails off.

I look at Undyne, feeling my heart throb. "No one should have to go through something as horrible as what happened to monsters. I know what you said but… I'm sorry I judged you. You didn't deserve it."

"…Neither did you nor the six souls." Undyne adds, more quietly than before.

We share a long, comfortable silence of understanding. Of compassion.

We don't speak another word the rest of the way.

#

I remembered Gerson had told us Frisk and Papyrus would be waiting for us at the entrance of Hotland. It was self-explanatory that Alphys and him would be there too.

What he didn't say, was that there were going to be a crowd of screaming monsters and a bunch of TV cameras too, all behind a line.

"CAROLINE!"

I see Papyrus running to me and I barely have time to smile, when he's already squeezing me. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT!? IF-IF YOU NEED TO CRY MORE, YOU CAN USE MY SHOULDERS AND MY ARMS ALL YOU LIKE!"

I hug him with the same strength, chuckling a little. I should have known it would still show in my face. "Thank you, I'll definitely remember that. I'm okay now, so don't worry." He gently places me on the ground.

"OH NO! YOU LOOK TIRED! I-I BROUGHT YOU WATER IN CASE YOU MIGHT WANT SOME."

"Papyrus, this is…" My eyes dart between him and the bottled water in my hands. I have no words for his thoughtfulness and before I even think, I kiss him on the cheekbone and gobble down the precious liquid. "Thank you! Oh! How did the rally go!?""

Then I think about my actions.

An adorable orange glow appears on Papyrus' face as he absent-mindedly takes his hand to the spot I kissed.

"It…" Oops. "IT-IT WENT GREAT! YES! G-GREAT! WE HAD SO MUCH FUN! WE HAD TO MAKE RANDOM MONSTERS IN HOTLAND SMILE, BUT ALPHYS COULDN'T DETERMINE WHO WON BECAUSE Er- We Sort Of Ended Up Working Like A Team. N-Nyeh…" He grins sheepishly. "Sorry?"

I laugh. "That's so much better! Something worthy of the Great Papyrus!"

"N-Nyeeh"

"You should've seen coward here- I mean, Caroline. Quite the show." Undyne nudges me with her elbow playfully and I smile at the sound of my name.

"OH YES, WE ALL DID!"

Both of our mouths drop. "What?!"

"WELL, IT TURNS OUT METTATON'S BEEN BROADCASTING ALL THE CHALLENGES WITH HIDDEN CAMERAS! THAT'S WHY THE PRIZES WERE ALL METTATON'S. I KNOW! I JUST FOUND OUT TOO!" Papyrus is beaming but I feel freezing cold. "OUR RALLY ONLY LASTED FIFTEEN MINUTES, SO WE WATCHED YOU ON T.V. I WANTED TO INTERVENE SO BAD! I'M SO SORRY I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU! BUT ALPHYS AND GERSON WOULDN'T LET ME. OH! And Caroline," he fidgets, and scratches the back of his skull, "There's- There's Something You Should Know…"

THERE'S MORE!? I'm not even done processing everything else. "Wh-what is it?"

"So," Alphys says, walking towards us with Gerson and Frisk. The latter waves at Undyne and I, making me want to squeeze them in my arms. "I-I-I don't know if P-Papyrus told you, but um… this was a tie, so you, Undyne and Caroline, are the decisive elements. Since you two also arrived at the same time, oh, uh, you two have to choose who the winner is. But both of you have to agree with the choice."

"That's easy." I snort. "Undyne's-"

"I broke the rules." Undyne crosses her arms. "This is the human's victory."

I blink in shock. "Excuse me? But I'm the one who got lost and I pretty much walked all the way here. I wasn't supposed to do that. Look, I've got my list here."

Undyne shrugs. "I wasn't supposed to use my hands or run. I wanted the gross and infernal weeping to stop and I didn't have the patience to find any lamps, so I used my phone to find you."

After two seconds of shock I laugh, shaking my head. Boy, did I misread you. "You deserve to win this time, Undyne. Honestly."

"Tell you what, Alphys and old man." She turns to the flushed yellow dinosaur, and to a smirking Gerson. If I had to tell by his look, he planned all of this. "It's a tie."

Alphys smiles, blushing more while Gerson lets out a belly laugh. "I told you gals this'd be promisin'." He says, wiping a tear from his eye, a huge grin plastered on his face. Wise, tricky, old man. I knew it! "Wah hah hah! A tie it is, then." He and Alphys exchange glances, both looking surprisingly pleased.

Gerson turns to the eager audience and clears his throat, Alphys giving him a microphone. "Listen everyone! It's a tie! Both teams win!"

There is a cacophony of applause and cheering, whooping and hollering. A palpable excitement buzzes through the charged air, along with infectious grins. If this were a human competition, people would be far from excited, they would be asking for a tie-breaker.

This only happens in the Underground.

Extremely glad, but tremendously puzzled, I look at Papyrus who's jumping up and down before he takes me by the waist and spins me in the air, making me squeal in joy.

"THAT MEANS BOTH TEAMS GET A WISH! WE GET OUR WISH!"

"We- we do!? Really!?"

"YES! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!"

I giggle as he brings me back to his arms for another hug.

"Thank you! B-But I didn't exactly win. I didn't beat Undyne." I murmur against his chest.

Papyrus pulls me closer. His hugs always have the right amount of strength and gentleness. "I Said You Could Do It, I Didn't Specify How. I Knew You Could Do It In Your Own Way." He then pulls away, softly tapping the tip of my nose with that heart-melting smile of his. "And You Did."

Feeling the corners of my lips curl, I take a deep, shaky breath.

"Hey, Papyrus and not-coward. You already chose your wish? You'd better make it count 'cause next time you won't be so lucky." Undyne smirks and I feel something wrap around my hips.

"Frisk!" With a huge grin, I crouch to give them a proper hug.

"ACTUALLY WE HAVEN'T DECIDED YET. Caroline, Is There Something On Your Mind?"

"Yes! There is!" I jolt, all traces of indecisiveness lost, as I eagerly whisper something to Papyrus. I notice Undyne's smile waver.

"W-WOWIE! R-R-REALLY!?" Papyrus gaps and I nod proudly. "YES! OF COURSE I AGREE! T-TELL THEM! TELL THEM!"

I walk to Undyne, her expression unreadable. I grin. "Our wish is… for you and Frisk to help us find a way to break the barrier." She steps back. "Without," I lift a finger "sacrificing human souls, or any kind of soul for that matter." She looks completely baffled and I extend my hand to her. "Deal?"

"…You…" Undyne blinks several times. "…you won't leave?"

"Undyne, after what you told me, how could I?" I grimace. "I… I can't just leave you here. I'm never going to be able to live with myself if I do. There must be a way to break the barrier without innocent people dying and without more pain, we just have to look harder. Let me help."

A flicker of sadness, vulnerability and hope crosses her face. Then her toothy smirk is back in place. "Guess I was a good influence for you. What do you say Frisk? Should we grant the wish of these punks?"

*You smile and tell Undyne that's what you wanted from the beginning.

Undyne laughs and shakes my hand. "You've got your wish. Deal."

"Deal." I repeat gladly.

"Now it's our turn." Undyne smirk grows and a part of my heart suddenly feels very insecure. She exchanges mischievous glances with Frisk.

"So, What's Your Wish? I'm Sure Caroline And I Can Make It Happen Without A Problem!"

Frisk stifles a giggle. Something's not right.

"You bet! Human…" Undyne crosses her arms defiantly. I don't know what to expect.

"…you have to go on a date with Papyrus."

OMG A DATEEEEE! So what do you think? Caroline finally knows what's with the fuss about human souls.

To write this chapter I got inspired by my own feelings playing Undertale when I got to the Waterfall part. I'll never forget the way I felt my heart was being squeezed when I read the ancient glyphs the first time I played, explaining all the story, how humans feared monsters, the conversations of the echo flowers in the wishing room and how much monsters had suffered and wished to go back the surface, etc.

To me the Waterfall theme itself conveys everything the monsters felt as a result of the war and then what happened to Asriel. The song, the ancient glyphs and the scenary made me tear up when I played Undertale. That track sends chills running down my spine. To me that song truly feels like despair, tears, darkness, laments, unfairness, innocent beings suffering and all those things I described in this chapter. Toby Fox is a genius, honestly. For whatever reason the music kept making me think of victims of abuse (especially domestic abuse, I don't know why) and all those people that feel voiceless and excluded. I think that emotional imprint suits how monsters must have felt. It was horrible when I was playing UT and got lost in the dark room because I didn't reach a lamp on time, and I was trapped listening to the haunting, powerful, heartbreaking music over and over again. I kept imagining what the monsters would've felt like if all of it were real. And then the glyph said that monsters had nothing to guide them, and were lost in the dark and that was the cherry on top of the cake. This whole game was a powerful experience for me, I love the music so much and WOW, THE FEELS.

Anyway, I hope you guys are doing great. WingsOfBronze thank you for your review! More chapters are coming! :)