Inuyasha wasn't sure how long Kouga had been in the hospital, but what he did know… was that the young wolf demon would make it… They weren't sure how they were in that state but sadly they couldn't tell the doctors why he was in this state… knowing fully well that it would only cause more questions and answers that they couldn't give…
Sighing, Inuyasha walked up to the hospital to visit Kouga, hoping that the wolf demon was okay… though, he had a strange feeling surging through him… some kind of feeling of dread?
Rolling his head from side to side, Inuyasha thought that maybe he was just being paranoid about nothing… he kept thinking about that strange ghost he had seen… the ghost telling him about the past repeating… that the shadow was after his power… whatever that would be.
'Maybe I'm just tired… there is no way that I'm seeing memories from a past life… I'm… I'm only half-demon…' he thought to himself, not wanting to accept that his life was in danger because history decided to repeat itself. If that was the case, should he use this moment to tell Kagome the truth? About who he really is? The young hanyou just shook his head, there was no way that he would ever be able to tell Kagome the truth… she… she wouldn't accept it… she wouldn't love him.
Shaking his head, Inuyasha kept on walking ahead, thankful that he had told Kouga that if Kagome had ever showed up to visit him to just pretend that he had been dating her the entire time… though, the silver haired teen knew that it would be difficult for him to pull that off since he didn't know what was happening at all…
Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha walked in the hospital, thinking that it was just better to get this done and over with… Maybe, it was for the better to just pretend that he didn't hear those voices in his head… It was for the best…
Sighing softly, the young man walked in Kouga's room and smiled saying "hey, how you feeling?"
"Like shit…"
"What do you expect; you've been stuck in that place for years…"
"Yeah… hey, Inuyasha… how did you really find me? I know I've been gone for a while but… I know for a fact that you wouldn't just so happen to have taken a swim near the cave that I was in… it just seemed impossible… now tell me… how did you find me."
Inuyasha just stared at the wolf demon trying to figure something out… trying to make sure that he could trust himself with telling Kouga about the visions… about seeing a ghost… the voices… the nightmares. Though, he knew that it should be Kagome he should be telling but… "A ghost showed me the way…"
"No really Inuyasha how did you know I was there…"
"I just told you a ghost okay? Don't ask me how but… I can talk to this one ghost that looks like me…" Inuyasha calmly said, only to place his head in his hands, as if he was still hearing those voices in his head. Haunting him with the memories of his past life that he wished would stay hidden… stay hidden and buried within his soul.
Inuyasha wasn't sure if Kouga would believe him… but then again, not like he hadn't seen everything as it was…
"That seems a little strange Inuyasha…"
"I know."
"But it does explain a few things… why you sometimes spoke to nothing as a kid and knew a lot about history…"
"Huh?"
"You don't remember?"
Inuyasha just shook his head, sure he knew that he was good at history as a kid but… was it because he was speaking to some kind of ghost? The same one that he had just been speaking too… was that possible? Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha lifted his head from his hands and stared at the recovering wolf demon as if trying to ask for advice, but too worried that he wouldn't like the answer…
"Maybe it was better that you don't. You freaked out a lot cause of it."
Great… Inuyasha was known as a guy that freaks out… Sigh… Shaking his head, Inuyasha stared at the wolf demon for a moment before deciding to get up… maybe it was better that he just leaves… sides, he had a concert to prepare for…
"You should tell her the truth." Said Kouga suddenly, which had caused Inuyasha to turn and stare at him, wondering what he was talking about… There was nothing he had to tell anyone… "Inuyasha, Kagome knows you're hiding something from her. She told me… and she thinks that you don't tell her the secret cause its bad… that you don't trust her enough to tell her this secret like you've told her the others."
"I can't… I'm worried that she will stop loving that part of me…"
"Inuyasha, if she doesn't love all of who you are… than it isn't meant to be."
"Sadly… I've already accepted my fate Kouga." With that, he started to walk out of the room… he knew what his fate was to be at this point. Sighing, Inuyasha walked out of the hospital and down the sidewalk… wondering what he was to do now… the ghost hadn't bothered him… but, he knew that he would need to be alone to speak to him… 'Or I'll seem like a nut job that belongs in the loony bin.'
As he walked, Inuyasha noticed all the couples that were walking down the street… no matter what, he just couldn't help but wonder if he and Kagome would ever be like that… it made him wonder… what his life would have been like if only he had confessed sooner…
Sighing, Inuyasha unlocked the door of his home and walked up the stairs. "Looks like I have the house to myself again." Inuyasha whispered, guessing that Sesshoumaru took the kids out to the amusement park that was in town. Looking around, Inuyasha couldn't help but smile at some of the pictures that were of him and Kagome… When they first met… when they were going to the school dance… Kagome had her arms wrapped around his neck both of them smiling… laughing…
They had spent almost every minute of their lives together…
It just made him wonder why they… they weren't dating… Frowning, Inuyasha picked up one of the pictures… the picture of them before the play they were in. Inuyasha had her arm wrapped around her shoulders, a cocky grin on his face and Kagome, a bright and cheerful smile with a small blush on her face. No matter what, he just couldn't get over her…
"I love her… why did my soul have to choose her?"
"Because she is your soul mate young one… you've known her in every life and you've protected her in each… until your last life."
Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha turned and saw the ghost standing behind him. He demanded answers… "What the hell are you talking about?" Growled out the hanyou, wanting to know why this ghost was appearing right now… it just didn't make sense to him… why was this ghost telling him that Kagome was his soul mate?
"Kagome, in her last life… was my mate… as she has been in each and every life. I had vowed to protect her… to be with her… to love her… but, I had failed." Said the ghost with such a saddened expression that Inuyasha had felt it flowing through him, as if it was his own emotions that were washing through him…
Staring at the ghost version of him, Inuyasha tried to put the pieces together… tried to think on where this ghost could have been from, but mostly on what the ghost was talking about… failed her? Shaking his head, Inuyasha had asked him what he was talking about… what did he mean by failed her.
"I was in a war before the great war with the evil demon that wished to cover this world in shadows…"
Wait a minute… was this guy… the hanyou from the legend the hanyou that he had played in that school play before his parent's death? There was no way that this could be possible… "You can't be Yuudai from the legend." The ghost just stared at him in confusion only to laugh as if he was highly amused.
"My name isn't Yuudai but that is what they all thought it was because I was a hero… and, my mate's name wasn't Tama either." The ghost just stared at Inuyasha's confused face and sighed softly as he said "you were named after me… the name Inuyasha had been thought of as a curse… but over the years the name's curse had been forgotten. You've been chosen to fix my mistakes and save this world from darkness…"
"I have to do your dirty work? Why couldn't you do it yourself when you were alive?" Inuyasha shouted, not wanting to do anything that didn't have anything to do with him in the first place. Why did this have to involve him anyway! Why did this guy spoke of that strange shadow being after his power when he didn't even have any powers in the first place!
"When I fought that demon I had already died."
Inuyasha just stared in confusion… what… what did he mean? How could he have already…?
The ghost just smiled as if sensing Inuyasha's confused mind, it was understandable… Giving a dry laugh, he calmly started to explain his story… "I was young… around your age in fact… I was in a great war before the shadows tried to take over this world…" Sighing softly, Inuyasha wasn't sure what the war had anything to do with it… unless… "I was killed in the war protecting my friends… but, my spirit wouldn't rest. I returned to my beloved… I had sensed the incoming danger and vowed to protect her from that darkness…
"Because of my own inner conflict, I was giving a solid body… enough to be assumed that I was still alive. I fought the shadow… telling my beloved that I wouldn't return out of this alive… I had to make sure that she would live… The shadow had also thought I was alive, thinking he could place himself in my body to use my powers to rule the world… But, I had already died… now, he needs a new vessel… one that is just as strong as I was…"
"It's me isn't it…?"
"Correct."
Inuyasha only sighed; this guy just wore him out just by talking to him…
"You should tell her you're secret Inuyasha… if she loves you, she'll understand…"
He wasn't so sure about it, but… the consuming fear that was coursing through him… it felt like it would never leave him unless… unless he went for it… tried to tell her… to explain to her… Sighing softly, Inuyasha knew that he would have to tell her at one point… better to tell her… rather than having her find out by mistake… no, she wouldn't believe him unless she showed him… and tonight was the only time he could…
Rubbing his forehead, Inuyasha walked to his room, thinking that maybe if he went to sleep that it would help clear his mind… this was all so much to take in one day. Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha fell on his bed and went to sleep…
Yawning, Inuyasha wasn't sure why but… he thought that he felt something shaking his shoulder. Groaning, he tried to swat them away, telling them that it was better for him to sleep… that he needed sleep right now… Though, he knew that he should wake up… Sitting up he looked up hoping that whatever this person wanted wouldn't take too long cause he still had to call… "Kagome?"
"Bout time you woke up Inuyasha… I called Miroku thinking you were working on something again… but he told me you were home."
Inuyasha frowned… Kagome was here? Looking out the window, he knew that he wouldn't have a lot of time now… he had to tell her… Sighing softly, Inuyasha slowly reached out and grabbed Kagome's wrist and pulled her to sit down next to him. "Something wrong Inuyasha?" asked the young woman as she tilted her head at the young half-demon that she had grown up with.
"Yeah… no… I don't know… but, Kagome I have something I have to tell you… I… have been hiding it from you for a long time."
"Why?"
"I was afraid to tell you… that you would hate me for hiding it from you. That you would no longer care about me…"
Kagome just stared at him in confusion… he knew that she would. She was strange that way… but, in a cute way… though, he also knew that she would be angry when he tells her the truth… Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha looked out the window; the sun was setting… he knew that if he wanted her to believe her, that he would also have to change into his other clothes…
"I need you to leave the room for a moment okay? I'll… I'll explain everything."
Again, Kagome stared at him with greater confusion, but nodded as she got up and walked out of the room, sighing softly… Inuyasha knew that he would have to do this at some point… walking toward his closet Inuyasha pulled out one of the tattered red shirts that he wore to one of his concerts… the black jeans… and his signature leather jacket.
Sighing softly, Inuyasha told Kagome to come back in… he was right about her expression… wondering why he was dressed up like InuTashino. He couldn't help but give a small smile… this was his only chance to explain about why he lied about this…
Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha started to explain everything…
"About two years ago… before mom and dad passed away, I wanted to try out to be a singer… they were happy that I wanted to follow my dream…" Inuyasha stared at Kagome, wondering if she was listening, though he saw that she was still shocked that he was wearing clothes just like InuTashino… not that he couldn't blame her… he would have been shocked too if he was in her situation. "I sang one of the songs that I did for the play… the one we were in… I sang, they loved it… pretty simple huh? But, I didn't go… as a hanyou."
"What do you mean?"
"How many singers do you know that are half-demon Kagome? Answer me that."
"Well…"
"Exactly!"
Inuyasha ran a hand through his hair, he saw that his claws were already gone… he would have to explain a little quicker before he became fully human in front of her. "I had to be human while I participated… and it worked… I became one of the top teen singers of all time. I had everything I wanted… but, so long as I lived a double life, I couldn't have the one thing I… I wanted…"
"What are you trying to say Inuyasha? If you were a singer then you would have told me… right?"
"No… I couldn't… Kagome, I couldn't tell you because I knew if I did… that you would lose your love for my other life… I didn't want to crush that love for you… cause… I cared about you too much to do that to you… The very thought of you losing that love… it hurts me."
"My… love… what are you… there is no way that you could be."
Inuyasha gave a sad smile; he could already feel the transformation taking place on him… He could feel his dog ears sliding down to the sides of his head, turning into normal human ears… his fangs soon disappeared after… "I'm sorry that… I never told you Kagome… I… I only wanted to make you happy… but, I can't… I can't keep lying to you like this…" His hair started to darken… turning into a light grey… darkening into a dark grey… only to turn midnight black…
When he looked up at Kagome, his expression was sad… his once golden eyes had turned violet, staring at Kagome with consuming fear… fear that she would slap him… fear that she would hate him… yell at him… tell him that she never wanted to see or speak to him ever again… But, what he got… just felt like it tore him up inside…
She ran out of the room… out of the mansion… and possibly, out of his life… All he could say were two simple words… "I'm sorry…"