Thranduil stood in front of Bainil, arms crossed.

"What is your name?"

"Fuck Offington of Erebor."

White hot pain streaked along her back, forcing her to arch. The sound of leather upon skin could be heard in the room.

"Who are your parents?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Sleazebags of Rohan."

More blinding pain, and she could feel her blood trickling down her back. But no noise could be heard from Bainil.

"If you quit this deadly game, we shall stop and question you without harm. Give up!"

"Oh, sorry, couldn't hear you over the voices in me head!" she said with a fake accent. She sounded like a dwarf. Cool.

"Who am I?"

"You don't even know your name? DAMN! Someone, quick, fetch him his mother!" she called over her shoulder. She grinned wildly, and kept talking to the rats in the room through he silent language.

Please?

Grr...why should we?

More pain.

I'll give you some food from my prison meals...

Deal!

Immediately, Thranduil started hopping around yelling," Somethings biting me!"

The guards started hitting their legs in chest, yelling as well.

"Ooh, seems you have rats! Heheheheh!" she chuckled.

Thranduil and the guards left the room, leaving her with the rats.

Thanks guys. Can you chew through rope?

Yeah

Bainil glared at the large black rat, and then he got it. The chains connected to her shackles were tied with rope to the hook on the roof. It was a very tall roof.

They climbed up her body, over the chains, and to the rope before nibbling.

()-()-()-()-()

After getting loose of the chains and shackles with old Gondor prison escaping tricks, she pulled on her armor that they had taken. Thankfully, they had let her keep her whit under shirt on, which was now stained red in the back.

"Bloody bastards. Thinking they can tame me with a few swats from string. HA! I am no disobedient stable horse, I am a wild creature! Bred with freedom and stubbornness! Just like Rhovanor!"

With the thought of her horse, she grabbed the pin hidden in her ponytail. She always kept something that could picks lock hidden on her person.

After a few minutes of twiddling with the inside lock, she was able to get the door to swing open. The lights were dim and the dungeons were quiet except for the occasional squeak of a door or moan of a prisoner.

Bainil crawled against the walls, completely hidden in the shadows. She passed several guards, and several guards passed her. Not once was she spotted.

Finally, she met some wooden stairs, and found herself in what looked like a wine cellar. She hunched her back, ready to roll behind shelves or barrels at a moment's notice.

She walked carefully and spotted a few elves. They were sitting around a table, drinking merrily. They all were pretty drunk, based on how they were acting and how many wine bottles surrounded them.

"Pegon...Pegon," hiccup," hand me another bottle!"

She looked to where the elf was gesturing, and saw an obviously sober elf sitting in front of him.

"NO! Be drunk like your friends! Please!"

"Oh, another wine bottle? No, I think I have something better." Bainil saw the flash of metal, and the elf stalking around the poor fool. The she saw his armor.

"Oh crap, he is a Blood Assassin! I can't let him kill the poor fool!"

Bainil jumped from her hiding spot while grabbing a bottle, and slammed it over the assassin's head.

"Pegon", if that was his real name, fell to the floor. The other elves just stared at her dumbly.

Then the one who asked for wine spoke up.

"Now, why did you go and do that? You wasted perfectly good wine!"

Bainil couldn't believe it. She just saved his life, and he was worried about the damn wine! THE WINE!

"Sorry, here, have some more!"

She grabbed another bottle from the shelf next to her, and smashed it over his head, causing him to pass out.

"Any one else want wine?" The other elves just shook their heads 'no'.

"Good. You saw nothing." She jumped into the shadow quickly and crawled away. The elves looked around dumbly, then went back to drinking.

"Wow, I hope the guards are this stupid...and drunk."

She kept crawling and wandering until she found the huge gates that they had entered through. They were closed.

Rhovanor! RHOVANOR! Can you hear me?! Hear my call, Rhovanor!

It had looked like there was a stable right next to the gates when they were coming in, but Bainil hadn't been sure. She didn't get a good look.

I hear you, Master! I am at the stables, and I AM ABOUT TO KILL THEM ALL!

Uh oh. Ok, theres one with brown hair, and she is called Saphira, DO NOT KILL HER! She also has hazel...ish...eyes. She is super nice and I told her to take care of you, soo...yeah.

Ooh, her. Yeah, she is totally fine. I don't want to kill her anyways, she is super nice. SHE GAVE ME APPLES! How awesome is that!?

Okay, okay. Don't go replacing me, now!

She heard the sounds of horses neighing and elves yelling. Soon the gates were kicked open, and there was Rhovanor with his front legs in the air. And Saphira squished onto his back, holding on for dear life.

"Woohoo!" Bainil cheered, mounting on behind Saphira.

"Hey Sa, hows it going?" She asked cheekily. Saphira just glared daggers, but kept her hands in Rhov's mane.

Rhovanor didn't exactly know how to get around, so he took random turns until Bainil and Saphira tried to direct him.

"Tell him to go left!" Saphira yelled.

Left!

"Two lefts and a right, then go straight!"

Left...Left...right...now go straight! Straight, not left!.

Guards were chasing them, and Rhovanor couldn't go as fast indoors as he could outdoors. But the guards were still having trouble catching up on foot.

"AAAAAHH!" screamed Bainil and Saphira as he jumped a large gape between stone walkways.

"WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!" screamed Bainil as he sped through the armory, that was filled with a lot of pointy things.

Rhovanor kept running in a blind panic, Saphira had stopped giving directions out of fear.

"STOP!" yelled a booming voice.

Rhovanor screeched to a halt, stopping right in front of a very pissed Thranduil, and a very scared looking Legolas.

"H-hey guys...whats up?"

…...

Wow, I wrote this fast! Quickest update I had since first uploading this story!

OMG, Saphira, I freaking love you! I love, love, love all your reviews! Wow, I think your reviews are what made me make this one so fast! Your my inspiration, girl!

So, tell me what you guys think. Cause...i can't read minds...only reviews...

Disclaimer: I don't own what you recognize as Tolkien's. Darn.

SPOILER: DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME SPOILERS. Spoilers in bold.

The next few chapters will be Bainil shenanigans. Some with Saphira. Leave suggestions. Maybe with too Leggy...Or Thran-Thran. 0_0. Dear God, help us all...

Words:1176