Deliquesce

Chapter 14: Useless

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: salamanders

A/N: Hello hello, here's another chapter. I will probably upload another soon, because I suspect I won't have much time to do so over the next week. Just a warning, this story will be moved up to M. It's nothing explicit and specific, but just giving you guys a heads up.

Guest: Thank you!

I sat on the couch, twiddling my thumbs. I found the idea that someone could be bored during a zombie apocalypse crazy. Yet, here I was, out of my mind with boredom. It'd only be a day or so until I could get back out to clearing the city with the group. My ankle was healing at an extremely rapid rate, but I was advised to stay in and do nothing anyway.

I could see them from the window. A few people were out on the streets, clearing up the last of the bodies and dumping them into a pile. The others must have gone into the houses.

I went into the kitchen, made myself some food. I'd put on a bit of weight since coming to the factory, which was good. I was now able to sit on a chair without the bottom of my spine sticking into it and bruising.

Mr. Wonka came in as I sat down to eat, and I could smell him before I could see him.

"Morning." I said. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. Just popping in to make sure you're not getting yourself into too much trouble."

"Thanks, mum. Any progress with.. you know..?"

"Nope. Subject is still unconscious. He's monitored closely, however. I have a beeper that will alert me if there are any spikes in it's heart rate, brain activity, etc."

"Oh. That's pretty cool. So like, can I go back to working tomorrow?" I asked.

"I don't think that would be a good idea.. maybe it's safer to leave it until it's fully healed."

"Oh." I looked down.

"Don't you like not being out there? After everything that's happened you still want to go out there and be face-to-face with those things?"

"I like being part of something."

"Why?"

"All my life I've just been boring and nothing and useless. Didn't have a purpose. Didn't do anything. Went to school, finished school, did some more school, got a shitty job, stayed with my parents. Just useless. Even though what's happened is horrific beyond words.. I can't help but believe that I must be good for something because I've managed to survive this far. Or maybe I'm just literally so useless the end of the world forgot about me. Either way, I felt free. Felt like I had a purpose, almost. But I'm back inside doing nothing, while everyone is out there helping out and earning their keep, and it's just like before… useless."

"That's stupid."

"I know."

"Life is precious and rare. You would risk that just to.. not feel useless?" He furrowed his brow.

"I'm just sick of being the weak little girl I grew up to be."

"Still stupid."

"No, I think you're the one that's stupid. What's the point of living when you're shut away from the world, completely alone, doing nothing but meaningless experiment after meaningless experiment? To find what? How much you can fuck them up? How much you can mess with them? What are you trying to accomplish?" I was angry now, and my world spilled out of my mouth. "You spent your life shutting yourself away. Shutting everyone out. That may have been fine before the world turned to shit. You had a purpose, you made chocolate, but you don't even have that anymore. How can you just survive, with everything out there."

"Darling, these days life isn't about finding a moral purpose. It's about surviving, plain and simple."

"I saw a newsclip of your factory. Just crowds of people, trying to fit through the bars, pushing each other over, trying to get in, trying to climb. How can you live with yourself. All those people, you just let them die."

"I never said surviving was pretty. I wasn't about to let a bunch of possibly infected people into my factory."

I made a disgusted noise, and turned my head away to look at the window. I didn't want to look at his stupid, perfect face anymore.

"I'm going out tomorrow." I muttered. He sighed. I frowned, my brain finally registering that there was more movement than I'd expected in my peripheral vision. I could see Jackson, walking out the house. Behind them, a herd of zombies? No. People. Actual, living people.

What the fuck.

"Holy shit." I muttered, moving in closer to see out of the window. "They found survivors."

"Excuse me?" Wonka came in too, coming up close against the window. He furrowed his brow. "Well I'll be darned."

"One, two, three.. four, five.." I counted them.

"Six, there's another one over there." Wonka seemed displeased at the new development. "We should meet them in the hall."

We arrived in the hall just as they came through the curtains. It was strange, seeing so many people. My hands were clammy. Nervous, for some reason. The last time I saw this many people, they were trying to kill me and take my stuff. It was just strange. People were rare.

Jackson, Briley, Spencer and Daniel were all there. There were another three girls, and three guys.

Two of the girls looked to be in their late teens to mid twenties. One of them had bleach blonde hair with pretty harsh brunette regrowth. The problems of living in a post-apocalyptic era, I guess. The other was extremely light-skinned, which contrasted against her dark, almost black hair. The other was in her 40s or 50s, brown hair. She sort of looked like a witch, with her wild, shoulder length hair that was frizzed out in directions I didn't know possible. There were two asian guys, a kid and a middle-aged man. The kid looked around 12 at the most, and the way the other man embraced him I guessed they were father and son. I almost smiled. That was nice. People were rare, families were even rarer. I'd forgotten they even existed. The other guy had brown hair, fit and tall, he stood in front of the others in a way that suggested he was the leader of the group of something.

"We found survivors." Jackson said, his deep voice resonating throughout the room.

"I see that." Wonka said, in an almost catty tone that had me thinking he might just turn them away after all.

"I know this isn't opportune, but would it be too much to ask for them to stay here for a few days, just until we can clear out some of the houses-"

"Nonsense." Wonka turned to the newcomers. "Welcome to my factory. Feel free to stay here for the time being. I have ample food and other resources that you are all welcome to use until you find suitable accommodation. Don't feel rushed to get out of my hair or anything, 'kay?"

"Thank you." The leader guy said. His voice even sounded powerful. "We really appreciate your hospitality. We'll be able to lend a hand with clearing the city, Jackson filled us in about that."

I heard a beep, coming from Wonka's pocket.

"Ooh! Forgive me, I'm gonna have to leave you. Ember, why don't you show our guests the workers' quarters and get them all tucked in nice and tight?"

"Sure." I said coldly.

He inclined his head to the group, and shot a small reluctant smile at me as he strode off quickly to the end of the hall, crouching down to unlock the door, and closing it behind him as he went in.

"Wow, what a large group. We'll have to take two trips, not enough room in the elevator." I walked over, and the girls, including Briley, followed me in. I pressed the button and we zoomed off, all of us stumbling at least once. We made it to the quarters, and stepped out.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Ember. It's really great to see you all here."

"Pretty name." The blonde said. "I'm Breanne, from Avestead a few miles south from here. I came here with Hunter, the other guy with the brown hair. After the broadcasts stopped we had this idea that other areas might not have been affected as badly. I mean, this place is so isolated, so it's probably not as fucked as everywhere else. Glad to be here." Her face was pretty. She had a little bit of a tan, which was an accomplishment given the seemingly eternal winter. Her eyes were brown, framed by thick lashes, and her grin was toothy.

"I'm Valeriya." Valeriya's face was also quite pretty, but in a more severe way. She had prominent cheekbones and a sharp jaw, an angular yet dainty face. Her mouth was small but heart shaped, and her eyes a very light shade of blue. "I come from Ukraine. I came to visit my family, they closed the airport a day before I was supposed to go back. At least I saw them before they died. That is Loraine. She does not.. talk much."

Loraine, the witch-like lady, nodded at me. Her eyes were hazel, and almost as wild as her hair.

I smiled at Loraine, and she smiled back but said nothing. The rest of the group came through the elevator.

"First thing's first. Showers and food. Do we have those?" The brown haired guy, Hunter said as he stepped into the room. Jackson laughed and patted him on the back.

"The kitchen is that way, the showers you will find in the bedrooms."

"That's Hunter." Breanne said.

"Oh, how rude of me. I am indeed Hunter. Pleased to meet you." He held out his hand, and I shook it. His grip was firm and his face was attractive, even with the dirt caked on it. He had dark green eyes that glinted.

"Ember." I smiled, and turned to the other two newcomers.

"My name is Calvin, this is my son Brandon." Calvin said, his hands on Brandon's shoulders.

"Lovely to meet you." I smiled. "You can all just pretty much find yourselves empty rooms. There's plenty around, but the first five are occupied. Some clothes in the drawers that may or may not fit. Showers are all in there. So just get yourselves settled in and help yourself to the food, we have plenty."

The rest of the day passed quickly. Everyone was in a good mood, except Spencer. He seemed pretty aloof to it all, if anything. He wasn't sour, he just didn't give a fuck. Once the pleasantries had been exchanged, I joined him in his room to help him finish a bottle of Jack.

My neck hurt. I was still half-asleep, but I immediately registered the fact that my neck hurt. Opening up my eyes. I saw Spencer asleep in the chair across from the bed. I was on the bed, sitting up. My neck had been leaning to the side for the whole night.

My head ached and pounded, and my eyes felt like they were trying to shrivel back into my skull. I squinted and moaned, looking over to the clock on the bedside table. It was only 8 AM, still had an hour until we left.

God, why did I drink so much.

Coffee. That's what I wanted. My mouth was dry and the roof of my mouth kind of hurt, like it does sometimes when I wake up really dehydrated. I managed to get myself up, head still spinning. I don't think the alcohol was out of my system yet, but coffee nonetheless.

I stumbled out of Spencer's room and to the kitchen, eyes half shut to ward off the light.

As I turned the kettle on, I heard a chuckle.

"Good morning, starshine."

"What the fuck. Where did you come from."

"I've been sitting here for about two minutes, I thought you all would be up by now and I wanted to meet the newbies. Hangover?"

"Big one."

"Spencer's room?"

"He's my drinking buddy." I got a cup out of the cupboard and scooped a few teaspoons of instant coffee in.

"You have no pants on." He looked at my legs, raising an eyebrow.

"Fuck."

"So... " His eyes wandered back up to mine. "Fun night, huh?"

"No, it wasn't fun. Before you, uh… like, think anything.. we didn't do anything. He cried in my arms for 10 minutes and passed out in his chair and my jeans were just really uncomfortable, okay?"

I poured the water from the kettle into my cup before it was finished boiling, stirred it a bit and took a sip.

"Whatever you say, Ember. About yesterday, I apologise for possibly saying harsh, albeit true, things. I'm sorry."

"No worries, but I know you wouldn't apologise for nothing. What do you want?"

"I don't want anything, Ember."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course." He smiled, even putting in the extra effort of scrunching his eyes a bit to make it look genuine. He usually forgot that.

"Oh, well. I appreciate that."

"Good. Actually, I do have a little bit of a purpose after all. I just wanted you to please consider waiting a few more days to go back out. The area around your ankle is still very delicate, I don't want you coming back with another sprain."

I rolled my eyes. "My dad used to do that, you know."

"Do what?"

"When we had an argument, he would leave, come back, and say sorry just so he could continue proving his point."

Cough. "Yes you do." Cough.

"No I don't."

"C'mon. You're like the runt of the group."

I frowned. "That's not nice."

"You came here, very injured. You would have died within the month. Then you sprain your ankle to top it all off."

"Those were accidents. They weren't my fault."

"I'm sorry. I'm not being mean. But just take it easy for a while, 'kay? Plus, that and my drug stash is running super duper low. Don't think I could afford to give you another shot."

"No. I want to do things. I want to learn how to fight properly. I don't want to be the runt anymore."

He got up and walked over to the elevator.

"Where are you going?" I asked. He didn't reply, just kept walking.

"Hey. You can't just bring up all that shit and leave." I followed him in and he pressed a button, not looking at me.

"What the hell, man? Why are you such a dick to me? I helped you." The elevator bumped and I fell into the wall, and the pain in my ankle flared up. I winced.

"You can't ignore me forever. You know what, you're just used to ignoring people. You ignored the world for so long. You shut yourself away because you couldn't deal with it all. I'm not going anywhere until you say something."

He didn't say anything.

"You have fucking terrible coping mechanisms, you know that? Denial is the worst out of the lot."

The door opened to a corridor. The walls were purple and there was a door at the end of it.

"You're a lonely person, Wonka. You do this to yourself." He opened the door, but I wasn't paying too much attention.

"I think everyone's scared of you, too. I'm not scared of you. That's why you don't like me, isn't it? That's why-"

He closed the door behind him, grabbed my hands and pushed them up against the door.

And then he kissed me.