Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

a/n: Hope you like this chapter, I know it was kind of rushed. If you have any comments on the quality of the work or OOCness, let me know.

Reviews, sharing, etc., are greatly appreciated. Love all your reviews. Please keep writing them. One day I literally refreshed my email about every ten minutes to see if there were any more.

"Alright then, I'll go to hell."

– Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Raven: ...did he forbid you from hurting me? Did he order you to keep his Gem safe?

- The Prophecy

Chapter Fourteen: The After

His first memory of her, as a brooding, blue-cloaked girl in the background of the Titans, a member of little importance, was blurry and brief -

The first time he saw her in person, a pile of burning skin as his probes tore her from the inside out -

"Good, Terra," he crooned, watching her grow impressively angry in the earthy sludge. She had been the hardest for his apprentice to win over, and her fury was amusing to witness. "You know her weakness. Exploit it." -

Surprise, as he was pulled from death and told of Raven's destiny. Why hadn't he noticed her before, paid more attention?All this time, she had been there, within his reach -

He was frightening her. She was usually so blank, so dull in comparison to the other Titans. But her resistance was growing irritating, he could already feel his bone-body crumbling to dust -

She was so tiny under his fingers. He'd had a good laugh tormenting her, stripping her of her dignity, but the man he was, the one before this Slade, was appalled deep within him. He'd had a wife - what if a man had done this to Adeline? What if his sons had done this to a woman? Undead or not, what kind of man was he?
Realizing he'd held her too long, and seeing Robin running to her rescue, he quickly dropped her, wishing a happy birthday -

Even at the end of the world, even at the realization of her own demise, she was still more concerned about keeping the Titans in the dark. How poetic, that she was this selfless and her father was what he was. But Slade was a selfish man, and birds of feather flocked together . And he certainly wasn't a raven -

He hadn't known it was possible to feel pain as a skeleton. But she was attacking him with brute force, the hate of all of Hell the driving strength behind her attacks. She was a glowing red blur as she thrashed him to the ground, declaring, "I'm not afraid of you anymore!"
In spite of himself, he couldn't help but be the slightest bit impressed. Now, there was a person of worth, someone who didn't fear him, an equal -

She was herself, certainly, even as she walked towards her doom. He thought her an interesting girl, and regretted that he hadn't seen the potential for an apprentice sooner. But she was overstepping her boundaries, telling him he was insignificant -

She'd been right. How ironic -

A tiny, childlike shadow to mock him. Trigon was a bastard.
Even as a child, she didn't trust him. It was clear she did not remember him, but it was obvious she didn't want to get to know him, either, as she sped away in the lava underbelly of the new Earth -

Oh, revenge was sweet. The satisfaction of de-horning Trigon nearly made him laugh. Out of the corner of his eye, she was amazed. She thought him a friend -

She was destroying him. Her upcoming victory was obvious as Slade slithered away, darting between boulders and putting enough distance between them so the Titans couldn't find him. A white light made him look back, and all he could think of was how beautiful it was, and how powerful she was -

He was not in the mood for this. Wintergreen had died only a week ago. He'd been hopeful that an outing would pull him out of his depression, maybe a chance to start something different. Of course a mistake like her had to show up, demanding entry into his home -

She'd changed. He'd been vaguely aware of this during the End, but this was the first reminder since then. Again, he was impressed, but annoyed. He wouldn't tolerate her trying to exert power over him, nor could he attempt to do so to her. What was there left? -

Dimly, he remembered he needed to burn that damn picture of Addie, he didn't need it anymore. She kept asking about it, which was growing cumbersome. Addie was a painful chapter of his past, and she was constantly pestering him about it -

He'd forgotten how small she was as he was pinning her against his gym wall. Her face was flushed, panting, angry. Something very male in him was intrigued; disgusted, Slade dismissed the feeling just as she cast him backwards -

She'd barely passed her test. She'd been horrified that any woman could want him. Well, he'd been married, once -

Why the hell was he so angry with both women? Addie, the woman who'd ripped out his heart and eye, and the girl who destroyed the world with him?
Once, a girl, a voice whispered to him, now, a woman.
Crumpling Adeline's photo, he punched a hole in the wall, hating them both -

She was suspicious of him, again. This time, though, he was the one pinned against the wall, as she demanded what was going on. Behind her, he saw J-31 raising an arm to strike her.
An abrupt rush of panic spiked his blood, and he hastily barked, "Leave us!". Relief washed over him when J-31 lowered his stance, and she wasn't hurt -

Was she jealous of the redheaded client? She certainly seemed uncomfortable. But, as always, she asked piercing questions, this time about why he'd told the other woman his name was Joseph. Before he could stop himself, he told her the truth -

She was missing. The absence of their witty dialogue, however recent it had been, was bizarre. As always, he was angry. Why hadn't she called him, informed him she was to be absent? He paced for two days, cursing her name, waiting for a call -

He had every right to follow her. She wanted to end their arrangement. No. He wasn't about to lose the one thing in his life that interested him, however strange it may have been -

She was a pretty thing. She looked nothing like Addie, and perhaps that's what made her attractive. Privately, he wished she'd grow out her hair, the way it had been when she'd defeated her father. But still, a very beautiful young woman. Perhaps he wasn't as sharp as he liked to believe - never, not once, in all the time they'd known each other, had he truly appreciated her lithe figure, her curved mouth, her dark, expressive eyes -

It was surprising she liked children. It was even more surprising that she'd asked him for help. It was empowering, somehow, in a way he'd never felt powerful before -

She was just a child. She was no longer a child. God in Heaven, which was it? He was disgusted with himself for thinking of her that way, but she was so damn close, only a wall away -

Secretly, he knew that getting along with the children would earn her approval. Pretending to watch cartoons with the eldest child, he couldn't help but look at her legs out of the corner of his eye -

Her mind, his mind, once so different, now mirrored one another. They'd both been searching for change - had he found it? Was she it? -

He wanted her. He hadn't wanted a woman so badly since his marriage. What had happened? How could the universe have done this to him? -

He'd physically left the hotel, knowing she'd be able to sense him. He'd snuck in through the back, back into his room, considering slipping away, just like he was used to doing. But he heard a knocking, and pattern was familiar, it was her, it was her -

What now? -

Now -

Raven gasped, saw stars, saw him, then nothing more.

.

After, all she could feel was regret. It shouldn't have been like this. It shouldn't have even been. Everything tasted like metal, and once the euphoria faded, Raven wanted to die.

If she could have, Raven would have gotten herself up and hoisted the children and herself far, far away. But when she tried, a pain like she'd never felt before ripped her in two.

It was a shaky communicator call from the sheets ordering the kids back to the hotel room. Raven wasn't feeling well, and she'd be a while before she came back. Help yourself to anything from the mini fridge and watch all the TV-14 programs you want. You deserve it, really. You weren't the one who'd made the most grievous error of her life.

Slade could see Raven's pain, but made no move to comfort her. It seemed as though the affection was over, which only reaffirmed everything Raven feared. Jesus Christ, why?! Why hadn't divine intervention stopped her from making this awful, lust-driven decision?! It certainly hadn't been lax in the past. Jesus knew better than she did - He should know that her own feelings meant nothing in the scheme of things! Why, oh, why had she done this? Why had they done this?!

"Stop," said a firm voice beside her. There he was, tussled and handsome and glaring at her. "Whatever you're thinking, stop."

Rage laughed, far too amused.

"You don't understand," Raven managed hollowly. Her voice was weak, spent.

Slade glowered at her. His torso poked out from beneath the covers, defined and manly. "Do tell: how am I supposed to understand if you don't explain?"

She stared at him incredulously, nails digging into her pillow. God, it hurt. "You don't see anything wrong with what we just did?"

Slade's good eye narrowed. "I do what I want, Raven. You should know that."

Oh, and how well she did.

Tears burned the creases of her eyes, threatening to spill. But there was no way in Hell Raven would ever let him see her cry, so she turned her head away angrily.

"I'm a fool," she told the pillow.

"Is that so?" Slade's voice demanded testily behind her.

What now?

That was it. Raven would deal with the pain. She flung herself up, spluttering slightly at the intensity of the burn between her legs.

The bed creaked.

"Don't do that," Slade warned. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"Why do you care?" Raven spat, ignoring his advice and attempting to tug on her leotard. "I saw what you thought of me, Slade. Don't bother."

The bed bounced, and footsteps walked over to Raven's side of the bed. Two legs engulfed the corner of her vision, but Raven was still trying to get her clothes back on, with no success.

"Enlighten me, my dear. What do I think of you?"

Frustrated, angry, in pain, and heartbroken, Raven threw her leotard on the ground and burst, "Do you know how confusing it's been to be near you?! I hate myself for caring about you, Slade! Everything about this was for my family, and now I've ruined it. But y-you don't..."

She hiccuped, tears rushing down her face. Well, shit.

"You wanted me. You got me. I didn't see much else. What now, Slade? What now?"

God, it felt good to say it aloud. Maybe Slade had the answer, because Raven damn well didn't.

Slade was silent. Raven was glaring at the ground, she and Timid weeping in synchronization. In the end, she'd screwed the Slade she hated, not the one she thought existed -

He crouched down, wiping away tears with a big, calloused hand. His skin was so rough, so opposing to her soft, young flesh.

What now, indeed.

Traitorously, her fingers wound themselves in the hand stroking her face.

"I'm afraid of you." she whispered. "I'm afraid of what you think about me. I'm afraid of what you'll do to me. Slade...I'm so, so afraid."

The overwhelming emotions inside Raven made a few cabinet drawers fly open, but neither of them cared in the slightest.

They held each other, Raven not knowing that Slade shared every single one of her fears.

.

When they left the hotel room, Raven felt drained. She was never, ever that emotional. Raven could feel the sheet of numbness pulling over her, changing her back into the dry Titan she knew herself to be.

Except now, Raven barely recognized herself in the mirror. The pain had faded enough to move, but she was different.

Raven was a real woman now, in the truest of senses. Better let the monks of Azarath know.

Still, while the experience had been intense, it had also been...pleasant. It had been nice.

Pleasant? Nice? You insult him. Passion stumbled drunkenly through the Nevermore, overwhelmed with her victory. Sweet baby Jesus, Mother Mary and God our Father in Heaven, you do exist. I've seen the light, dear God, and it comes in the form of the orgasm. Thank you, oh Lord, for the male genitalia -

Raven almost spit out the tea she'd gotten from the downstairs cafe. Melvin looked up from her cupcake with wide eyes.

"Raven, are you okay? You still look kinda sick. What did the doctor say?"

Lacking adequate sexual experiences, Passion moaned. Requesting more from that handsome devil Slade.

"It was nothing," Raven muttered, attempting to drink her beverage once more, this time without choking.

She couldn't get Passion to shut up for the life of her. All the emotions had even tied her to the new Eight-Eyes, but she'd annoyed him to the point of him cutting the binds with his blades and hiding in the maze. So as of now, all of Passion sister's were desperately trying to avoid her.

However, as Raven was the personality's host, she herself could not escape the torture.

Slade was at the fray of the group, arms crossed, watching Bobby and Teether devour bread pudding. Raven felt a little guilty about what had followed their intimacy - it was certainly not the pillow talk she ever envisioned for herself.

"Raven?"

Raven looked at Melvin and Bobby. The bear was sitting opposite his creator, frosting staining his muzzle. He grinned brightly at Raven, which was unnerving.

"What?"

Melvin swallowed a bite of her pastry. "Bobby says thank you for letting us eat from the mini-fridge."

"Gummy bears!" Timmy exclaimed in atonement, the bread pudding dangerously close to his blue blanket.

"You're, um, welcome."

Bobby lifted a blonde pigtail and whispered in Melvin's ear, his gaze focused on her the whole time.

"Bobby also says not to be scared. Everything's going to turn out a-okay."

Raven could almost hear Slade's eyebrow raise.

Raven knew better than to trust the powers of a little girl, magnified in a selectively invisible bear. Nevertheless, shehoped the Bobby was clairvoyant, considering how many other times he seemed to know what was unfolding around them.

Despite herself, Raven felt a small smile of gratitude form on her lips, a silent thanks to the bear.

Bobby grinned back, looking more pleased than Raven had ever seen him before.

.

"How much longer?" asked Melvin as they stood in line for an Italian restaurant. Slade excused himself after the afternoon cafe break, and Raven and the kids had taken a tour of the town before they decided to go out for dinner. She was happy to finally have time with her kids. Bobby, being to big, had to stay outside, much to Melvin's disdain.

Unfortunately, it was prime dinner time, and this particular restaurant was the only one in the little town. They'd been waiting in a line for over half an hour.

"Hung-wee," Teether whimpered, gnawing on a plastic toy train Raven had bought him. She hoisted the toddler up higher on her chest, and reassured him they would eat soon.

When the three reached the front of the line, a smiling, freckled girl said the wait for a party of three would be anywhere from forty minutes to an hour.

"An hour?!" Raven glanced at Melvin and Timmy, who both looked famished. Timmy already threw a tantrum once in line; if he didn't get food soon...

Well, Raven didn't want to deal with that nightmare.

"Look," Raven leaned across the check-in podium. "My kids are starving, and we've been waiting here for - "

A shadow cast over Raven's hand. She tensed, suspecting an attack of some sort, but a familiar hand draped over her own.

"Raven," Slade said, breath warm against her cheek. Feelings of all shapes an sizes crashed down on her. Of course he found her. He always did.

Sweet mama, he's back, gasped Passion. See if he'll take a trip to the bathroom with you.

"Mister Slade!" Timmy cried excitedly.

Slade threw a quick smile at the child, before assuming a curt expression for the girl behind the counter. "My dear, I suggest you find us seating."

The girl blinked. "The wait for a party of three is forty - "

"We're a party of four," Slade cut her off smoothly, measuredly. "And I suggest you find these children seating soon, my dear. They're very tired, and I'm very impatient."

Raven stiffened. What was he thinking? The girl could just as easily scream for her boss.

But, of course, the girl bobbed her head up and down, an aftereffect of Slade's mental manipulation. "Yes, sir," she mumbled, "We have a table in the back. I'll drag some chairs over..."

Slade sneered out a "Good," and Timmy cheered, "Yay! Mister Slade is my hero!"

A pang of pity vibrated through Raven; at the same time, she didn't think Slade was the best role model for Timmy to latch on to. It seemed to be too late - Timmy was looking up at the man with wide, adoring eyes. The curly-haired boy had no father Raven knew of, or perhaps none to even begin with. The boy was so young, and Raven knew what it was like to grow up without a father.

Which is why she made no move to stop Timmy when he bounded over to Slade and grabbed a finger, dangling from the man like a monkey. Raven didn't think she'd need to ask Slade to adapt since he had children of his own and was probably used to such behavior. Nevertheless, she gave him a meaningful look, praying he wouldn't shake the kid off.

But, as always, Slade threw her for a loop. He reached down, picked Timmy - blanket and all - up and held the boy against his broad chest.

God, Raven, I hope you get pregnant. Passion was a purple puddle of lust in the Nevermore. Any woman's ovaries would spring on the chance on producing his babies. In fact, with any luck, you may already be pregnant.

"Why do you say that? You know I already...took care of it."

Apparently, the hotel gift shop sold more than just playing cards. The cashier was the same woman as the night before, and she raised an eyebrow when Raven made her purchase, no doubt making some risqué conclusions. The whole thing had been too embarrassing.

Passion lifted her head indignantly. Raven, as you already know, I have discovered our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And I believe He works in mysterious ways.

Passion of the Christ, snidely remarked Lazy somewhere off to the side.

Amen, my sister, Passion made a holier-than-thou face, then flopped back down to relive Raven's morning.

Absentmindedly, Raven noted that Passion had only become this vocal since she'd entered the arrangement with Slade.

This seemed important, somehow, but the thought slipped away once they were seated in a far corner of the restaurant.

"That was...impressive," Raven acknowledged Slade once the flustered waitress left them with a few menus. "What if she tells the manager?"

"That she was not accommodating customers? Yes, I'm sure the manager will be thrilled to hear that."

A grimace twisted her mouth. "That's not what happened -"

"And yet," Slade spread his palms, "here we are."

No doubt that if Robin were here, he'd be furious at this supposed trickery. The Boy Wonder didn't have an unjust bone in his body.

But Raven was here, and she was different. She was the daughter of darkness itself. She'd just slept with one, if not the most, dangerous man on Earth.

So to say she was feeling the slightest bit mischievous was an understatement.

"Okay."

She smiled, and Slade smiled back. She no longer felt regret. She no longer was worried that he was going to toss her away like a piece of trash. Her worries, so poignent only a few hours ago, seemed to vanish as Timmy clung eagerly to Slade's arm, trusting him.

There was something there, and both of them were aware of a change approaching them soon, one that would affect their futures, together.

What now?