Isolation
HPSS
Squib!Harry
Harry, brother to the Boy Who Lived, happens to be a squib. His 'ailment' makes him become isolated in the Potter household, raised by his Father and Sirius. Remus is abroad, teaching. He tutored Harry as a child, since James and Sirius were busy with Jamie. He encouraged Harry's love of gardening.
Xoxxoxxoxxoxoxxoxxoxxox
The sun was shining brightly on the back of a robed figure. The boy was wearing a coffee colored robe, wrist deep in dirt and fertilizer. The robe was dirty, and rather worn looking. His hair was pulled back loosely into a braid that fell all the way down his back, his bangs hiding part of his face.
"Hey, watch it!" Harry jumped back in fright as a quaffle landed into the rose bush. He fell back on his bum, looking up at the sky. There was his brother, and his brother's friends, flying above him on their brooms.
His brother rolled his eyes, and flew down, and landed next to the destroyed rose bush. "What are you doing here?" He sneered, grabbing the quaffle. "Playing with your flowers again, squib?"
While Harry was fair skinned, with his Mother's green eyes, and his Father's inky black hair, his Brother had his Mother's red hair, but it was wild looking- the Potter curse. It was partly the reason why Harry had grown his own hair out. Harry wore glasses, while Jamie did not. Jamie's eyes were hazel, like their Father's, and he was rather tall and broad like him as well. Harry was just a bit shorter than him, and rather slender. They really didn't look or act like twins at all.
Harry's face closed up. He didn't say a word as his brother mounted on his broom, and flew back up into the sky. The boys above laughed at something that his brother had said- probably something about him. Harry sighed, and looked at his rosebush.
He grabbed his basket, shaking his head. "I'll get you fixed in no time." He whispered.
Such was the life at Potter Manor. They had lived here since Lily, the boys' mother had died. They lived in Wiltshire, not far from the other well to do pureblood families. James, their Father, raised the twins with the help of his best friend Sirius, Jamie's Godfather.
Harry's Godfather, Remus, was abroad, teaching. He only came to visit on the holidays, unable to get off of work any other time. Harry missed Remus quite a bit- the man cared for Harry a great deal. Sometimes more than James did.
Harry sometimes wondered what life would have been like, if his Mother had lived. Jamie was clearly their Father's favorite. After all, he was the Boy Who Lived, he had the magic.
Harry was just a squib. Not even allowed to go off the grounds. He'd heard story after story of Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, and Diagon Alley, but he'd never been allowed to go. Jamie would be starting his seventh year at Hogwarts soon, and Harry was glad for it. Term time was something he always cherished. Jamie was at the school, and their Father was usually busy working at the Ministry.
Harry, when he was at the house, usually tended to the garden and read in the library. There wasn't much for him to do. He couldn't fly. He wasn't allowed to enter the dueling room, or his Father's study. The house elves only allowed him to help them in the kitchen so much.
His brother teased him for reading the magic books in their library. Said it would be useless, for someone like him. His Father and Sirius thought the same. What they didn't realize was that Harry was rather knowledgeable in wizarding history and herbology.
He knew he could try his hand at potions- that didn't require a wand. However, he was scared that if something went wrong, he wouldn't be able to magic himself out of it. So he just read about it, like the other branches of magic he read about.
His Father, whenever he was drunk, and not talking about Lily, said that Harry was a waste of space and money- a drain on their finances. Sometimes he would hurt Harry as well. He never remembered that he said and did these things, after he became sober, and Harry never told him. It was just easier that way.
Harry carried the basket of roses into the house, stopping short as he saw his Father talking with Albus Dumbledore in the hallway.
"I am so happy that we've come to an agreement. You and your boys' safety is very important."
His Father nodded. "Maybe it will straighten Jamie up a bit, having me around. Even though I slacked off in class, I always made good grades. I wish he'd do the same. His OWL scores weren't that great."
"I know. But he now knows the importance of his path- I'm sure he will try harder this coming year."
"Right."
Their conversation was cut short as Harry made himself known, casually walking into the corridor with the basket. "Hullo Father. Headmaster." He said politely, his voice soft.
The Headmaster gave him a small smile. "Harry- look at you, you've gotten bigger since I saw you last. You've grown into a handsome young man."
Harry blushed, looking away. "Thank you Headmaster."
"Are you excited about getting to see Hogwarts at last?"
Harry looked back at the man in shock. "What?"
James spoke up. "I've accepted the position as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. You will be coming with me to Hogwarts this year- I didn't want to leave you here at the Manor alone. It's not safe, especially since you can't defend yourself."
Harry's hands tightened on the basket. His eyes dropped to the red flowers that sat there haphazardly. "Oh. Yes…I've always wanted to see Hogwarts."
"Well, the three of you will be expected at the school within a week's time. I suppose we should tell Jamie the good news?" The Headmaster asked cheerily. The two men headed outside, leaving Harry alone in the hallway.
With a sigh, Harry went up the stairs to his room.
Xoxoxxoxxoxxoxoxox
Harry stared up at the school in rapture, barely listening to his Father and Brother talking about Quidditch. They were taking a carriage up to the school, their trunks and things all piled on the top. Harry was excited at seeing the castle- it was beautiful.
His brother sprinted out of the carriage, followed by his Father, greeting the staff merrily. Harry hesitated before getting out of the carriage. He was wearing his best robes- a olive green colored set that only had a few stains about the hem. He was aware of the curious stares sent his way.
"Who's that?" The large man, Hagrid, Harry thought his name was, asked loudly.
"Oh, that's just Harry." Jamie said, waving him off. The group began to go inside. Harry turned to the carriage to get his things, and was rather surprised to see it all gone already.
"Where are my things?" He asked himself, looking around.
"House elves got them." An old man sneered. He was a bit greasy looking, with a balding head, and beady eyes. "Why haven't you gone to Hogwarts like that Brother of yours?"
Harry looked away, sighing. "I'm a squib."
"Oh." The man's tone changed. "I'm Argus Filch. I'm the caretaker here."
Harry smiled hesitantly at the man. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Filch."
The man only nodded, and motioned to the castle. "Yer brother is a trouble maker, that one. You better not be like all the others here- squib or not."
"I…I won't make any trouble." Harry said, blinking.
"Right, a Potter not making trouble? That'll be the day." A man said dryly from the left, carrying two small baskets- one of herbs and bark, and another one full of insects. Harry stared at him openly. The dark hair and black robes, and the general dislike of Potters-
"You must be Snape." He blurted, and blushed, covering his mouth. "Sorry. My Father and brother tend to talk about you at the dinner table."
"I'm sure." The man said, eyes boring into his. And with that, he went inside the castle.
Sssssssss
Severus mentally shook himself off. He saw right away that that boy was different from that bastard and his brat son. When he'd heard that Potter Sr. was going to teach at the school, he thought of resigning- even more so when he'd heard that Potter was going to be dragging his other son with him to Hogwarts.
Not many knew about the other Potter boy. Albus thought he was nice, but the old man thought everyone was nice.
Still, he wasn't what Severus had expected. Nothing like he'd expected. He looked nothing like his twin, thank goodness- pale skin and wide eyes, and long black hair- and that blush had been rather attractive- he cut those thoughts off right there.
xoxoxoxxoxxo
"Best go inside, boy, you don't want to get lost." Filch said, and Harry hurried inside. He followed Snape, whose robes billowed behind him. The man glanced over his shoulder.
"Are you following me, Potter?"
"I…um, don't know where to go. I've never been here before." Harry admitted feebly.
Snape sighed. "It's lunchtime, they're probably in the Great Hall." He motioned for Harry to follow him. He grabbed the boy by the scruff of his robes just outside the large doors.
"I found this wandering around the corridors. Potter, I suggest you keep a better eye on your brat." He shoved Harry forward a bit, making him stumble.
James glared at Snape. "Don't touch him again, Sniv-"
"Gentlemen, I do believe we can all sit down and have a nice lunch, can't we?"
Harry watched the two of them trade glares all through out the meal. He himself sat at the end, feeling rather awkward and left out. Like that wasn't normal.
"I'm gonna go flying. Hey, Headmaster, can some of my friends come here?" Jamie asked.
"I'm afraid not, Jamie."
"You could go to the Burrow and visit the Weasleys, though." James said, ruffling up his son's hair. "I'm sure you'd be alright for a couple of hours. They've just put new wards up."
"Alright!" Jamie cheered, and ran from the table, not excusing himself.
"So Harry, are you excited to be here?" McGonagall asked primly.
"Yes ma'am." Harry said quietly, playing with his napkin in his lap. "I've heard a lot of things about the school. I wouldn't mind taking a look at the library."
"We do have a good selection of fictional stories that you might be interested in. I do believe we even have some collections of plays as well." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.
Harry just gave him a strained smile. Clearly the adults didn't know what to talk to him about. Not magic, certainly.
"I bet you're looking forward to seeing your Brother playing quidditch?" Sprout asked. "He's a good flyer, just like your Father was."
Harry gave a half shrug. "I'm not really into quidditch."
"Oh, why not?" Sprout asked.
"Pomona, he can't fly. He's a squib." Dumbledore said gently, making the woman gasp at her flub. Unnoticed by them, Snape nearly choked on his drink.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Potter-"
Harry just gave her a strained smile. "It's alright. Just give me a good book to read, and I'm happy." He threw his napkin onto the table, sick of the awkward conversation. "May I be excused Father?"
"Yeah. Fine."
Harry stood. "Could someone point me in the direction of our rooms? I'd like to unpack."
Xoxoxoxxoxxo
It turned out that Harry's room was separate from his Father's. His Father's room was a Professor's room, with no room for Harry. His own room had been placed close to Gryffindor tower, hidden underneath a tapestry.
It was a nice room, with a double bed, a desk, and some shelves. His luggage was placed at the end of his bed. He set about to unpacking, trying to gather his thoughts. This year was going to be interesting. He'd heard quite a bit about Hogwarts, and some of the people at the school from his brother and his friends.
Maybe he'd have a chance to make friends of his own.
Cheered by this thought, Harry hummed to himself while he unpacked.
Xoxoxoxxoxxoxoxox
The next week was a confusing one. He was constantly getting lost, but thankfully the portraits were happy to help him around. He'd managed to find the library in his third day in the castle, and was often there, exploring the shelves.
He was reading up on different species of carnivorous plants when he saw Snape enter the library. The man paused, and slowed upon seeing him.
"Potter." He said neutrally.
"Professor Snape."
The man glanced at the book he was reading. "Why aren't you with your insufferable brother visiting the Weasley hovel?"
Harry just gave him a wan smile. "They are my brother's friends, not mine."
"Well, why aren't you off with your friends, then?"
Harry's smile stayed in place. "Haven't any. I suppose neither my Brother or Father have told you that I've been confined to the grounds since we moved there. The only people I've ever met are the ones here, and the ones that visited the house."
The man's eyebrow raised slowly. "Why?"
"I suppose it was for my safety." He looked down.
"Could it be that your Father was…ashamed of you?" The man said derisively.
Harry's eyes flicked to his. "I've never asked." He looked back to his book. "Not that I ever had to."
"Hmph. There have been many squibs with plenty to offer to the wizarding world. That's just stupid. I'm not surprised." He muttered to himself as he walked off.
Harry shook his head.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Harry went into Hogsmeade with his brother, Father, his brother's friends, and a couple of the Order members to do some shopping. After getting a couple of books, some parchment and quills, and lunch, Harry went to search for new robes.
He didn't have many good robes, not after stomping around in the garden in so many of them. He chose a dark green set, a handsome dark blue set, and picked up a new pair of shoes. He wasn't used to doing so much walking around.
The shopkeep was ringing everything up, and Harry winced as he realized that he'd gone over his budget. This was his first time shopping- he hadn't thought to look at the tags. His Father only allowed him a small allowance for this trip. With some trepidation, he put his things back, only getting the shoes. He'd have to wait on the robes.
He was standing next to his brother, waiting for the others to meet them in the square when someone with a camera suddenly got in their faces.
"Hey, Mr. Potter, smile for the camera!"
Jamie laughed. "Hello."
"Looking forward to going back to Hogwarts, Mr. Potter?"
"Of course I am-"
"It's such an honor to meet you-" The man shook his hand thoroughly. "And who's this with you?"
"Oh, this is Harry, my brother."
"Your brother! I didn't know you had a brother, Mr. Potter!"
"Yeah."
Harry averted his eyes from the camera, turning away slightly.
"How come you haven't gone to Hogwarts before, er…Mr. Potter?"
"He's a squib." Jamie answered for him, making the camera man shut up.
"Oh. Well…it was nice meeting you Mr. Potter." The man shook his brother's hand enthusiastically again, and walked off.
"Great going, Harry, you cost me an interview." Jamie muttered.
Harry only frowned.
Xoxoxoxxoxxo
The next day, there was a picture of the two of them on the front cover. Harry was sort of in the background, half cut off by the photograph, while Jamie was smiling at the camera, front and center.
Harry stared at his picture with a frown, while the others talked about the article giddily.
"What is it Potter?" Came from next to him, making him jump. He looked over to see Snape settling in next to him.
"I'm…worried." He murmured.
"About what?" Snape poured himself some tea, and started to serve himself some breakfast.
"The students. They're arriving tomorrow…and they'll know that I'm a squib." He finished quietly.
"All the brats are so egocentric, they won't even think twice about troubling you. Forget it, Potter."
Harry sighed, and set the paper aside. He reached for a biscuit at the same time as Snape did- their hands brushed, and Harry's hand snapped away in surprise, his face hot. "Sorry." He murmured. "Go ahead."
Snape gave him this Look he wasn't sure how to interpret, and picked up the biscuit. After a moment, he offered it to Harry. Harry glanced at it, and then at him. He accepted it with a slight smile and a soft thanks. Neither of them noticed the curious look from the Headmaster, who'd been watching them interact.
Xoxxoxxoxoxoxxoxo
Harry paced along the length of his room, fretting about what to wear for the Welcoming Feast tonight. He knew he should make a good impression, but he wasn't sure how he was going to do that with his robes being in the condition they were in.
There was a soft knock on his door. Puzzled, Harry opened it to see the Headmaster, who was smiling at him.
"Hullo. Mind if I come in?"
Harry allowed him inside, and the Headmaster looked about the room. Harry had tried to make it his own, using his own comforter on the bed, and posting his pictures up on the walls.
"Very nice." The man nodded to himself. He then held out a rather large box to Harry. "This is for you. I thought you might want something to wear for tonight- after all, it's your very first Feast at Hogwarts. I know your Brother and your Father were busy preparing, and well…" The man just smiled. "here."
Harry opened the box, and raised his hand to his mouth in surprise. "Thank you sir. They're beautiful."
"I thought you might like them. Ah, and I thought you might want to sit beside your Father at dinner tonight- to show a bit of solidarity."
Harry nodded quickly. "Of course." He ran a hand over the nice looking robes. "How could I ever repay you for these? I… I couldn't just…"
"They're a gift. I insist."
Harry gave a grateful smile to the man. "Thank you sir. I really appreciate it. I…I had been a bit worried about what I was going to wear tonight. I tend to ruin my robes when I'm working in the garden, and well…"
"Oh? You have an interest in herbology?" Something sparked in the man's eyes.
Harry smiled. "Yes. I did take a look at Sprout's Greenhouses- just a peek, since they were locked. But I'm not…an expert or anything." He ended lamely. "I just like working in the garden, that's all."
"I'm sure Pomona wouldn't mind an extra pair of hands around the greenhouse. And I'm sure Severus wouldn't mind having someone collect supplies for his potions."
Harry blushed as the Headmaster mentioned the man. "I suppose they wouldn't. I…perhaps once we get settled in, I'll ask them? Do you think they would accept?" He asked hesitantly. "I won't be in the way?"
"Harry- you are welcome here, just like anyone else. Don't worry, my boy. Now, the students will be here soon, please be at the Great Hall by six."
"Yes sir."
The man left, leaving Harry to get dressed. The robes were made of a rich fabric, soft to the touch. They were a stormy blue-grey, made of raw silk. They fit him snugly, even the outer robe fit him snugly about the chest and shoulders, buttoning in the front, and falling open over his ribs. The sleeves were a bit long, as was the hem of the outer robe, so that it trailed behind him.
As Harry stared at himself in the mirror, he started to undo the braid he usually wore in his hair. He ran a hand through it, smiling. With his hair free, it fell about his hips in gentle waves. He turned slightly in the mirror. He looked good.
Confidence renewed, he walked to the Great Hall. The staff members were already there, including his Father. His brother was down at the station with Hagrid, waiting for the students to arrive. Several of the staff members did a double take as Harry approached, including, to his pleasure, Snape. The man stared at him openly as he took his seat in between the man and Potter sr.
"Harry, you look nice. Did you do something different to your hair?" His father asked. Harry beamed at the man- it wasn't often that his Father noticed anything he did.
"Yes, I did. Thank you." He glanced to Snape, who went back to his notes with a frown. He sighed, fiddling with the table wear.
"Are those robes new?" His Father sounded puzzled.
"Yes Father. The Headmaster gave them to me. I thought it was nice of him- all of my other robes were ruined from the garden."
"Oh. You…shouldn't have done that. We're Potters, we don't accept charity- we give it. Give them back after the Feast tonight. If you wanted new robes, all you had to do was ask."
Harry's eyes fell to his lap. "Yes Father. I'm sorry."
"Next time, you'll know. Don't do it again."
"Yes Father." Harry murmured, hands starting to twist his napkin in his lap. "I'm sorry. I should have asked you. I…it's just, you gave me the small allowance in Hogsmeade, and…"
"It should have been enough to get you some new robes." His Father said a bit too sharply. "What did you do, spend it on sweets?"
"No. Books. Only two-"
"Books? You have plenty of books here at the school- you don't need any more books. Oh Harry, you've got to spend your money a bit wisely…"
"Like you do?" Harry blurted, and covered his mouth. He never, ever mentioned his Father's little drinking habit- he shouldn't have done that. He was going to be in such trouble!
"What?" His Father growled, glaring at him.
"I'm sorry." Harry said, his voice quieter. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"
"We'll talk later." Harry cringed at his tone.
"Yes Father."
He wrung the napkin tightly in his hands, nervousness growing. Snape turned a page in his notes, glancing at him. His eyes were unreadable. Harry looked down from them, feeling so small.
Students began to enter the Great Hall. Harry had never seen so many people before in one place. His eyes grew as more and more entered, filling the long tables before them. He saw his Brother down there with them, talking and laughing with his friends, the ones that wore the gold and red.
He stared longingly at the table, wishing he could have friends like that, people to laugh with. People that would talk with him, rather than at him. The sorting began, and Harry remembered the day when Jamie had gotten his Hogwarts letter, and he hadn't.
It wasn't a very good day.
The Feast began, and Harry only picked at his food, not feeling very hungry. Snape nudged him from the side, making him look over.
"Eat. The students will notice you're not eating."
"I…I can't. I'm too nervous."
The man's dark eyes softened. "At least pretend to eat, then."
"Stop talking to my son, Snape." James said sharply from Harry's other side. "He doesn't want to talk to you anyways."
Harry and Snape shared a silent, but understanding look. Harry looked away first, and began to eat. Slowly. His lips slid over an empty fork a little while later, and he glanced over to Snape again. The man wasn't watching him, but the students.
Harry's gaze went to the students. His brother's table, the Gryffindors, were the loudest of the lot, looking as though they didn't have a care in the world. His eyes paused as he noticed a brown haired girl, sitting a bit further from the rest of her year mates, face buried in a book. Her lips were pulled down into a permanent frown, a crease marred her forehead. She didn't speak to anyone- she was alone. After noticing this anomaly at the Gryffindor table, he spoke up quietly. "Who is the brown haired girl reading at the Gryffindor table?"
His Father answered. "That must be Granger. Hermione Granger. Jamie tells me the girl is terribly smart, but a little show off, and rather bossy. I think Albus made her Head Girl this year, since her grades have been at the top of her class every year…maybe I should have her tutor Jamie."
"Hmm."
"That's an excellent suggestion." Minerva cut in. "I'm sure the girl won't mind helping Jamie, perhaps for some extra credit. I will speak to her about it tomorrow."
Harry's eyes went over the other tables- it wasn't hard to find another 'outcast' at the Ravenclaw table- they were much more open about isolating this girl. All the seats around her were empty. She was blonde, with straggly blonde hair and large silvery eyes. She was wearing a strange assortment of jewelry, and a very strange pair of glasses. To top it all off, she was reading the Quibbler. Harry read it, from time to time, just for laughs.
He couldn't imagine why the Ravenclaws would avoid her so thoroughly- he thought about the reasons why the 'intelligent' house would ostracize the girl. Was she a bit dimwitted? Or was it just her way of dressing?
Hufflepuff didn't have any loners at their table it seemed- everyone had their little circle of friends, and they talked and laughed, albeit at a softer tone than the gregarious Gryffindors.
The Slytherins were the most quiet, pockets of conversation here and there, but most of the students did not speak. Some were studying the other students, others were fully concentrating on their food. Some had books, but only took them out after they finished eating. He noticed a fair amount of glaring between the Gryffindors and Slytherins, particularly between his Brother and a blonde boy that held court at the Slytherin table.
That must be Malfoy. He'd heard mention of him, apparently he was a snobby, spoiled brat, and treated muggleborns and halfbloods like crap. Harry stared at the boy's face- he was rather nice looking, just like his parents. Harry had met Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy a couple of times over the years, at society parties, but had never spoken to them. He wasn't surprised by the boy's handsome looks.
Unbidden, he glanced to the man at his side. Snape, on the other hand, wasn't very handsome, but…Harry's heart beat just a bit faster every time their eyes met. Perhaps it was the eyes, or that mouth, or that voice- he really didn't know. He glanced back towards the Slytherin table, and noticed that the group of Slytherins he'd been staring at a few moments ago were all staring at him now.
Harry blushed, but tried his best not to look away. He gave them a hesitant smile, and the lot of them looked visibly confused.
The Headmaster finally stood to make announcements, making the hall quiet. Harry didn't really pay attention, only tuning in to the speech when his Father's name was mentioned.
"-and Mr. James Potter has joined us this year as our new Defense Professor!" Applause rang through the hall, centered around the Gryffindor table.
"And joining him is Harry Potter, his son. We welcome both of them to this school. Now, for the school song!"
Harry didn't sing along, and he noticed that Snape did not either. His Father, on the other hand, sung loudly and badly. It looked as though the wine he'd been drinking finally went to his head. Harry shuddered. He hated it when his Father got drunk.
Xoxoxxoxxoxx
The next day, Harry sat carefully at the Head table, wincing as he leant back into his seat. It usually hurt more when his Father was drunk- he wouldn't go to Madam Pomfrey for the bruises. They would heal soon enough. He watched the students start to come in, pouring himself some tea.
Snape billowed into the Great Hall- Harry noticed that many of the students couldn't meet his gaze. Unlike the other Professors, he didn't have the schedules with him- he probably handed them out the previous night, after dinner. It looked as though…some of the students were frightened of him. That was strange.
Their eyes met, and Harry gave him the smallest of smiles. The man sat down next to him, pouring himself some tea. Harry watched him squeeze in a bit of lemon, and a couple drops of a potion from a vial.
"What's that?" He asked, before he could help himself.
"Calming potion." Snape said, taking a sip of his coffee. His eyes flicked over to Harry. "Just a few drops with breakfast on the first day- always a good idea. Wouldn't want to go to Azkaban for endangering the students."
Harry glanced over to see his Father talking with Hagrid. He wasn't paying attention to them. He subconsciously moved a bit closer to the potions professor. "Sir, I was thinking…if you needed any help gathering ingredients, I would be happy to help. I'm not that bad at herbology, and well…I need something to do. I can't spend all of my time at the library."
The man looked thoughtful. "Why don't you help your Father?"
"The only useful thing I could do for him is be target practice." Harry muttered, rolling his eyes.
Snape nodded to himself. "There are things you can get on the grounds- I have several locations outside the Forest that are easily reachable. You know how to harvest Class 1 ingredients?"
"Yes sir." Those were the basic of the basic non magical ingredents. They were mostly used in salves and poultices, rather than potions.
"Good. I'll go with you on your first time, to show you the spots. Give it a couple of days, though- I'll be busy marking summer papers."
Harry nodded quickly.
The man paused. "What do you know about potions?"
"Well…I've never actually made a potion, but I've read quite a bit about them. Herbology too." He said quietly.
"Tonight, come to my office. You can grade the second year's summer homework, at least?"
Harry couldn't help but smile. "I would be happy to."
Xoxxoxox
That day, Harry did his best to avoid the students, watching them from afar. He was a bit nervous around all these magic users. He was afraid, frankly, of his brother and his friends. They didn't make it a secret that they looked down on him, and he wondered when they were going to hex him- after all, there were no underage restrictions here.
He did notice a few people whispering about him, and a few girls (and boys) staring at him, but usually their friends would say something to them, and they would stop staring.
That evening, after dinner, Harry went to the dungeons to look for Snape's office. He'd gotten a bit turned around, however. He frowned, looking about the corridor.
"Hey." He whirled around, noticing Malfoy and a black haired girl coming around the corridor. "What are you doing here?" They both had their wands out. It was then that he noticed that they wore prefect badges.
"I..got a bit lost. You wouldn't happen to know which direction Professor Snape's office is?"
"Why do you want to know?" The girl asked brusquely. "You're not going to prank him, are you?"
Harry shook his head quickly. "No. Could you please…"
"We'll escort you." Malfoy said, sliding his wand back into his pocket. They began to walk. "You're Potter's brother."
"I suppose I am." Harry hedged, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice.
"So where have been all these years?" The girl asked, visibly curious.
Harry sighed. "At the manor."
"Mother and Father told me that Potter had a brother, but I never quite believed them- after all, he never came to Hogwarts. Imagine, the Boy Who Lived's brother a lowly squib."
Harry frowned, but continued to walk.
"Can you do even a bit of magic?" The girl asked, making Harry quicken his steps.
Harry remembered trying to steal his Father's wand one day, when he'd been small. He'd gotten in big trouble for that.
"No."
"Here it is." The girl announced gaily as they approached a door. Harry facepalmed. It was just further down the corridor from his own room!
"Thanks." He muttered.
Malfoy knocked briskly on the door. "He should be in. We just want to make sure you're not pranking him."
"Why would I prank him?" Harry asked confusedly, just as Snape opened the door.
"Because, if you're anything like your Father and brother, you would try your best to do just that." Snape replied. He looked to the Slytherins. "Found him, did you?"
"Yes sir." Malfoy and the girl said in unison.
"Thank you. You may continue your patrols." He dismissed them, and allowed Harry inside. Harry looked around the room. It was a rather nice office- a large desk, a work table, lots of shelves full of books and potions ingredients, and a fireplace. He noticed that there was a open door leading to a classroom, and on the other side, a stairs going down. There was no fireplace, making the room rather cold.
"Sit there." The man motioned to an empty chair next to the desk. Snape sat in his own chair, and Harry sat down.
He handed Harry a stack of papers. "Second year papers. If you have any questions, ask. Grade for content, grammar, spelling, and punctuation."
Harry nodded, and grabbed a quill. The two of them worked in silence for a full hour before Harry spoke.
"I…don't think this is correct…" The man snatched the paper from Harry's hands and rolled his eyes.
"No." He began to write in the margin of the paper, his quill scratching roughly. "This is very wrong, ah this is Robbin's paper. I should have known. When you get to Barnes' paper, it will have the same passage, I'm sure. Mark that wrong as well."
"Yes sir."
Another hour passed, and Harry was finished. He smiled proudly at the papers he'd just graded. He glanced at Snape, who was still marking papers. "Sir?"
"Hmm."
"Would you like for me to do anything else for you?" Harry asked.
Snape looked his way, eyes meeting his. "Here." He handed over the third year papers. Harry started to grade them, feeling rather antsy. He wasn't sure if should speak or not, but…
"Do you enjoy teaching potions?"
"I enjoy making potions."
"Oh." Harry smiled. "I suppose having students like my brother would turn you off from teaching."
"Hmm. You don't like your brother, do you?" The man asked, quill still scratching.
Harry played with the feather on his own quill, dropping his eyes to his lap. He gave a slight shrug. "Not really. He's a prat."
"You're not the only one who thinks that." Snape muttered.
"He says the same about you." Harry blurted, and blushed, raising his hand to his mouth. "Sorry sir."
Snape leant back in his chair, raising a brow.
"I…I don't think that way, not at all, it's just…I'm confused."
"About what?"
"Well…Father and Jamie both say you're so mean, and that you pick on people, and….other things. I…I guess I just don't see that."
Snape frowned. "Sometimes I am…mean, as you say, in the classroom to protect the students. Potions are dangerous, and I'd rather have them be scared of me and be less likely to have an accident."
"Oh." Harry murmured.
"I also have a role to play. I suppose you're aware of the Order?"
"Yes sir." Harry murmured. "I've heard Father and Jamie speak of it. They usually try not to talk about it when I'm around, but…" He looked away. "It's not like I could do anything to help anyways."
"Hmph."
Harry's eyes flicked back to the Professor. "So…you're in the Order?" He looked admiringly at the man.
The man just gave him the slightest of nods. "You understand why we have to keep this quiet?" He murmured, leaning forward. Harry leant forward as well, divulging a little.
"Yes sir. I haven't anyone to tell secrets to anyways." He whispered, eyes tracing over the man's face. "So…you're good at dueling?"
"More than good."
Harry's eyes traced over the man's throat, his hair, his shoulders. Their eyes met, and Harry found himself feeling rather warm and ansty again, his heart hammering in his chest. "Sir…since you're…not my professor…may I call you by your first name?"
The man's breath hitched. "If you allow me to call you by your first name." He murmured, just as quietly.
Harry extended his hand. "Harry."
"Severus." Severus' hand was bigger than his own, his fingers long, and stained with ink about the fingertips. Their hands held for just a moment too long. Harry pulled away first, looking down at the desk.
Something made Severus shake his head, and he cleared his throat, snapping out of…whatever. "You should go- it's getting pretty late."
"I can come by tomorrow and finish them?" Harry asked, standing, trying not to sound too hopeful.
Severus gave him the smallest of nods. Harry sent him a smile, and left for his rooms.
As soon as he closed his bedroom door behind himself, he leant against it, looking heavenward. "Merlin…" He murmured, closing his eyes. "What am I feeling?" He started to take off his clothes, still feeling entirely too warm. He went to the loo to take a long bath, and gather his thoughts.
Xoxoxoxxo
Harry was in the library, naturally, when he first met Hermione Granger. He'd been sitting in an alcove when he noticed the girl heading in his direction with a stack of books in her arms. Since it was the second week of term, the library was still pretty empty.
"Hullo."
The girl jumped, whirling around to face him. "Oh. It's you."
Harry blinked, and slid his finger into the book to save his page. The girl dumped her books onto the nearest table.
"You're Potter's brother, aren't you?"
He nodded. "I'm Harry."
They shook hands. "Hermione Granger. Pleasure." She said shortly, and began to sort her books out.
Harry glanced at some of the titles. "May I ask what you're working on?"
"Oh…just a project. Your brother…he isn't around, is he?"
Harry chuckled before he could stop himself. "Jamie? In a library? No, I don't think so."
The girl gave him the smallest of smiles. "You're rather different than him."
"It's okay. You can say it. He's a prat."
The girl blushed, looking away. "Am I that obvious?"
"No. Not really. But I've been subject to Jamie's and his friends teasing for as long as I can remember. I know how it feels."
The girl gave him a pitying look. "It must be hard. For him to have all that magic, and you with nothing."
Harry just looked away.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"It's fine. Well, I'll leave you to your books."
Xoxoxoxox
September turned into October, Harry's least favorite month. He did his best to stay away from his Father, at least, make sure he was never alone with him. Halloween was never a good time for the Potters.
Harry busied himself with his work at the Greenhouses, and quietly wormed his way into grading Severus' paperwork a couple times a week. His feelings only intensified for the man, and thankfully, no one else had noticed.
Well, almost no one.
Harry still felt rather nervous and twitchy around Severus, although he was a bit better at hiding it now. He was still a bit confused, and he didn't know who to talk to about it.
He decided to talk to the Headmaster. He wouldn't mention names, but the man had to know- he was the smartest guy he knew.
"Headmaster?"
"Hullo Harry! It's good to see you. How are you liking everything here so far?"
Harry smiled. "I love it here. I'm glad I came." He looked around the richly decorated office.
"So, how can I help you today?" The Headmaster sat down at his desk, weaving his hands together.
"Well…I just had a couple of questions."
"Ask away. I'll try my best to help."
Harry nodded, looking down to his knees. "Well…I'm not sure how to say this…" He bit his lip. "There's this…person. And…when he's around this other person, he feels…confused."
The Headmaster smiled. "Go on."
"This person feels…funny around this other person. It almost feels like nervousness, like their heart is beating too fast, and their hands are clammy, and every time their eyes meet-" He cut himself off, blushing.
The Headmaster just continued to smile. "It sounds like this person is attracted to this other person."
"A-attracted?" Harry squeaked. "But…I…this person, they're of the same gender-"
"It doesn't matter. Love is a very powerful force- whether it's a man or a woman, it's still a wonderful, exciting feeling."
"L-love? I…don't know if I l-love…."
"Do you think it's mutual?" The man asked softly. "Does he say things, perhaps look at you in a certain way?"
"I…don't know." Harry whispered, burying his face in his hands. This felt so embarrassing. How did the Headmaster know it was a man?
"You're young, Harry. You're still at the beginning of your life. I suppose you met this man…not too long ago?"
Harry gave him a hesitant nod. His Father would be so upset with him if he knew…
"Get to know him first. Become friends with him. Give it some time. If you feel the same way you do now, say…by spring, take a chance."
"Really?" Harry murmured. "But…Father…and Jamie…they wouldn't be happy…"
"Do what makes you happy." The Headmaster handed him a lemon drop. "Oh, and here's another for your paramour. Make friends."
Harry nodded quickly, accepting the candies. "Thank you sir." He stood, and headed for the door.
"Oh, and Harry?"
He turned slightly. The Headmaster's eyes twinkled at him. "Severus is a lonely man- he needs all the friends he can get. I'm sure he would accept your friendship."
Harry opened his mouth, and then shut it. He gave the man a quick nod, and left the Headmaster's office.
"Meddler." One of the portraits coughed. The Headmaster just hummed, popping a lemon drop into his mouth.
"I think it's good. With everything going on with this war, everyone should find some sort of happiness in their lives." The man said quietly in the empty office.
Xoxoxxoxo
Harry held out the lemon drop to Severus as soon as the man opened the door. The man blinked at it, then at him.
"Are you turning into the Headmaster, Potter?"
Harry blushed. "I just came from his office. I…uh, he said to give you one." The man let him inside.
"The meddling old fool." Snape murmured, but accepted the lemon drop anyways. He handed Harry a stack of papers. "Here."
Harry gave him a tremulous smile, and sat at the desk. "Second year again?"
"Yes. And work quickly, I want to gather some mugwart tonight."
"Yes sir-Severus."
They worked for a while, and then Severus spoke. "Your Father wouldn't be happy to know that you've been spending time with me."
"So?" Harry corrected a misspelled word. "He probably won't even notice. He's too busy."
"Hmph. Well, if he blows up at dinner one night, don't say I didn't warn you." They shared a small smile.
"Halloween is next week." Harry said after a while of silence. Severus' quill paused in his grading.
"I know."
"The school has their Feast, don't they?"
"That's right."
"I…I'm not sure if I want to go. Is there any way I could skip it?" Harry asked in a small voice.
"You'd have to ask the Headmaster. I do suggest, however, that you do not leave the school. The…Dark Lord always stirs up trouble on Halloween- it's best to stay close."
Harry nodded slightly. The man threw his quill down with a deep sigh. "Alright, let's go gather some mugwart. I can't concentrate now." He stood.
"I'm sorry, sir." Harry said, standing as well.
Severus just gave him a Look. "Have you a cloak? It's a bit chilly tonight."
"Oh…no, I didn't bring one with me."
Snape just frowned, and flicked his wand. A black cloak flew up the stairs, and into the office. He handed it to Harry. "Here, you may use this for tonight. Don't ruin it."
"I won't sir."
Harry followed the man out onto the grounds, carrying the baskets for their ingredients. As they started to collect the plants and insects, Severus spoke of their various properties and what potions they were used for.
They were gathering some moss that grew underneath the bridge, by the lake. It was dark and quiet out- the stars and the moon were glowing above them. Harry smiled as he glanced at the man, working with him side by side. This was…nice. Was this what friendship felt like?
He wasn't sure.
"I would like for you to start brewing for me. Basic healing potions, to begin with."
Harry's eyes went round. "Sir, are you sure? I've never…I could make something blow up!" He exclaimed.
"I'll be right there- I'll keep that from happening. I just want to see if you're suited for it. If you're anything like your Father and brother, we'll forget it. However, your knowledge about ingredients may help you."
"…Yes sir."
The man glanced his way. He was about to say something when he suddenly grasped his arm, visibly in pain.
"Severus?"
The man held his arm to his chest, grimacing. "I must go. Go back to my office, sort these things out and set them up to dry. Put the others in vials."
"Yes sir." Harry took the other basket from the man. "Do you need to go to the hospital wing? Are you alright?"
Severus frowned. "The…Dark Lord…he is calling me." He said gently, searching Harry's eyes, looking for something. "I must go."
Harry watched him stride away. Harry followed him quickly, feeling…scared? "You'll…be okay, won't you?"
Severus glanced over his shoulder, and nodded tightly.
Harry gave him a worried smile. "…okay. I…I'll see you at breakfast then. I'll save you some tea."
Xoxoxxoxox
Severus arrived for breakfast late the following morning, looking rather haggard. Dumbledore was rather quiet as well, looking lost in thought. Just before Severus reached the table, Harry poured him a cup of tea, with lemon, and set it by his plate.
The man paused as he noticed the tea waiting for him, and gave Harry a grateful look. Harry only smiled, feeling a little concerned. Severus was…injured, somehow. You wouldn't know it, if you weren't looking for it. His shoulders were tense, and he moved a bit more carefully than usual.
"Are you okay, Severus?" Harry murmured, leaning close to him to reach for a biscuit.
"I'm fine. Thank you." The man said brusquely, pouring himself another cup of tea.
"Something's wrong. Isn't it?"
Severus couldn't meet his eyes. "Albus will make an announcement soon."
And soon enough, the Headmaster stood. There had been an attack the night before, on a muggle village. It was rather gruesome- many people had died. The students sat in silence for a few moments, honoring the dead. Harry peeked over at Severus, who was staring morosely at his tea.
He glanced at his Father, who was frowning, head bowed.
Biting his lip, Harry reached over, and slid his hand into Severus', squeezing it slightly. The man jerked back, looking at him in surprise.
Harry just gave him a sad smile, and bowed his head, honoring the dead.
Xoxoxxoxxoxxo
"I don't understand him, Albus. He knows that I'm a Death Eater- he has to know now. Why…why does he act like this? He…he should be frightened, he shouldn't want to speak with me-"
"And yet he does." Albus said serenely, watching Severus pace the length of Albus' office. It was far past curfew, and the two men had been rather preoccupied all day.
"With all the blood I've spilt with these hands, he still wants to-" Severus shook his head. "I just don't understand him."
"He just sees the same thing I see." Albus said, chin in his hand. "He sees a brave, intelligent man that is doing what he must to stay alive, and save other's lives."
"But…"
"He wants to be your friend, Severus, is that so hard to believe?"
"Yes!" The man collapsed into a chair, burying his face in his hands. Albus hadn't seen the man so distressed since that fateful Halloween so many years ago.
"Severus…why don't you give him a chance? He might surprise you."
"He does. Every day." The man murmured, still hiding his face. "His Father doesn't want me around him. I don't blame him."
"Severus, you musn't think of yourself this way. Harry must see something redeeming about you, yes?"
Severus sighed, finally lowering his hands. "Sometimes…I wonder, how a Potter could be so…"
"So…?" Albus asked, smiling, eyes starting to twinkle.
Severus looked away, frowning. "Nevermind."
"Perhaps you shouldn't think of Harry as a Potter. Just think of him as…Just Harry. A lonely young man who needs a friend. You might have things in common with him."
"The students avoid him as they do me. That's something we have in common." Severus said derisively.
Albus sighed. "I had wished that Harry would be able to connect to the students as much as his brother had- alas, I believe it will not work. Harry is cut from a different cloth than his brother- I'm sure you're finding that out."
Severus didn't reply.
"I'm so glad that you're working with him. He's quite happy to have something to do. Pomona tells me that her flowers are flourishing, although the boy is a bit frightened of some of the more…wild plants. He is doing a satisfactory job with you?"
Severus nodded. "He's started brewing basic healing potions. Very basic. And he goes out with me to gather ingredients."
"Good, very good. I'm glad he's doing so well. I've always told the Board that it is possible for Squibs to get an education here, but they've never listened to me. Perhaps Mr. Potter can convince them."
"Perhaps." Severus murmured.
Xoxoxoxoxxox
Harry was outside for most of the day on Halloween. He didn't want to be around his Father at all today. He was sitting at the base of a willow tree that sat near the edge of Black Lake.
"Harry?"
Harry slid his finger into his book to save his place, and looked up as he saw Severus walking around the tree. The curtain of leaves and branches swayed slightly with his movement.
"Where have you been all day? The Feast is going to start soon."
Harry lowered his eyes. "Do I have to go?"
Severus frowned. "Your Father and Brother have been looking for you. They were very worried."
Harry stood, hugging his book to his chest. "Only for a little while. I'm going to go back to my rooms later on- I just want to be alone for a while."
Severus pulled the branches aside, allowing Harry to come out from under the tree. "They- we thought that you could have been captured." He murmured, making Harry stare at him in surprise.
"It…the Dark Lord has done worse things. Don't be so surprised. There is a reason why you came to the school as well."
Harry nodded, following the man to the school. "Is Father drunk yet?"
Severus furrowed his brow, holding the door open for Harry. "Drunk?"
"He gets drunk on Halloween. Every year. Terribly drunk." Harry murmured, and the two of them entered the Great Hall. The feast was already underway. Jamie looked a bit relieved, surprisingly, when he saw Harry, while James was staring into his glass of firewhiskey up at the Head table.
Harry hesitated before sitting next to the man. "I'm sorry Father, for keeping you waiting. I just wanted to be alone. You…understand that, right?"
"Yeah son. I do. Could we talk later?" He looked rather tearful.
Harry nodded quickly. "Of course, Father." Sometimes, when his Father was in this mood, he talked about Lily, and cried himself to sleep. Maybe there would be no yelling, or hits this time.
Maybe.
Xoxoxoxxo
Harry woke on the floor of his room the following morning, his room a mess. His desk toppled over, papers scattered all over the floor. His vase of flowers, broken, the flowers wilting on the floor.
Harry groaned as he sat up slowly, feeling a sharp pain in his ribs first, and dull pain spreading from his shoulders and arms. His face felt…funny. He got up slowly, leaning against the wall for support, swaying in place. Harry hobbled towards a mirror, and stared at his reflection.
He began to cry, and he went to his bed, and hid under the covers.
He didn't know how long he'd been in bed, half asleep, in terrible pain, when there was a brisk knock on his door. Another brisk knock.
"Go away." He said, voice muffled by his swollen lips. "Leave me alone."
"Harry…let me in." Severus murmured quietly through the door. "I could just let myself in, and break these wards, but I'm not like that."
""What do you want?"
"Your Father was found on the Quidditch pitch this morning, terribly hung over and drunk. He asked for you when he woke up."
"I don't want to see him."
"Harry…I know you don't get along with your Father- will you just please let me in?"
Harry didn't move from his place under the blankets. He kept a tight grip around them. "No."
"What do you have against him? It…it was the anniversary of your Mother's death. Of…course he would be upset."
"It would be different if he only got drunk once a year." Harry replied. "Please….just leave me be. I'll see him later. Just leave me alone!"
He heard the door bang open, and a gasp. Severus was obviously looking at the messy room. Harry tightened the covers around himself, feeling as though he was about to cry again.
"What...happened?" Severus finally asked. Harry could hear him coming closer.
"Nothing. I told you to go away." Harry cried.
He flinched as the covers were tugged off of him. Harry curled into himself tighter, pain blossoming in his side once more. Severus made a low sound in the back of his throat, and touched Harry's shoulder. It set the boy off. Harry pulled him into a tight hug, crying into the man's robes.
"Shh...it's okay, I'm right here." Severus murmured. "I'll get you patched up." He tapped his wand to Harry's head, making him invisible. Harry shivered at the sensation. Severus picked him up gently, and held the boy to his chest. "I suppose you won't want to go to the hospital wing- I'll take you to my Quarters instead." He held the boy close, trying to arrange his hands so he didn't hurt the boy, but didn't look odd at the same time.
After what seemed a painfully long walk, they managed to make it down to the dungeons, to Severus' Quarters. Harry groaned in pain as Harry was accidentally banged into the doorway.
"Sorry." Severus murmured, adjusting his grip so that the boy could get through. He set the boy on the sofa carefully, and summoned his medi-kit. Harry was still in his clothes from the night before, and they were terribly rumpled looking- and there were several bloodstains from where his skin had been broken.
Severus hesitated, only for a moment, but started to undress the boy. Their eyes met, and Severus' finger fumbled on a button. Harry stared up at the man, heart quickening. He set his hand on top of Severus' lightly.
"Have you told anyone?" Severus murmured.
"No. Never. No...no one would believe me anyways."
Severus frowned, and played with the button under his fingertips. Their eyes met once more, and Harry gave him the slightest of nods, leting him know it was alright. Harry knew he was capable of undressing himself, but when Severus did it...
Severus' eyes were dark as the man took in the bruises on Harry's slender body. He helped Harry out of the shirt, and started to treat his wounds.
Harry did his best to remain still, biting his lip to keep from crying out. Severus had offered to give him a sleep potion, but Harry wanted to stay awake. He wasn't going to miss a second of Severus touching him, even if he was injured. Harry's breath hitched as the man's hands brushed over his hips at some point- he didn't really have bruises there.
Their eyes met, and Harry noticed how close Severus was to him. He was kneeling beside the couch, sleeves rolled up. At some point he'd taken off his outer robe.
Harry's hands came to rest over Severus', and he smiled. The man's thumbs slid over the hem of his pants, as though he was silently asking something. Perhaps he was. Harry answered him by lifting his hips slightly. Severus quickly yanked at the pants, and started to pull them off.
The sight of Severus dropping his pants haphazardly over his shoulder made Harry's heart jump, and he leant up, his hand reaching out for the man. Severus leant forward, Harry's hand connected with his shoulder. The hand slid up his shoulder, into his hair, and they drew nearer to each other.
Lips contacted for the first time, and thin arms wrapped around Severus' neck, pulling him close. Severus wound his arms around the boy on his sofa, kissing him with abandon. It seemed as though a damn had broken, and all those unsaid words, thoughts, and feelings were flooding out unchecked.
Severus drew back as Harry let out a pained sound. Ah, his injuries. He backed off a bit more, and tried to calm himself down. What had he done? He'd practically attacked the boy while he was already injured!
Harry shook his head, weaving his fingers into Severus'. "Don't. I wanted you to. I kissed you back, didn't I?"
Their eyes met, and Severus gave him the slightest of nods. "You did."
"Then there is no problem." Harry murmured. He touched the bruise on his thigh tentatively. "Once I get patched up...you can kiss me all you like, and I won't stop you."
"You better not." Severus said with a small smirk.
Yay