Chapter 14: Feeling Lighter

Kings cross station was bustling with muggles running to catch the mid-morning trains, however the members of the order of the phoenix were calm but slightly on edge. The Hogwarts train was leaving until another 30 minutes, which left the children of the order plenty of time to say goodbye to their family and friends and board the Hogwarts express.

Nadia could not be described as calm, or any other words that somewhat related to calm. Nadia was panicky and worried. For the past week that she'd been at Grimmuald place she had been having constant nightmares about you know who and worrying feverously about the whereabouts of her father, her brother and the looming decision of which twin would become a slave to the dark lord.

The constant stressing has caused Nadia to lay awake most nights swarming herself in a panic with her over active thoughts, with a result of herself looking ghostlike and depressing. Then on top of all the stress she missed Draco profusely, his touch, his scent, his deep male voice that also caused her stomach to explode in lust. She was somewhat glad that she was heading towards Hogwarts, her sanctuary, her home.

Nadia was thinking that much that she didn't feel the reassuring squeeze of Hermione's hand in hers.

"Nadia, were gonna get this sorted ok? Your gonna talk to Blaise on the train, get all your thoughts figured out. Then hopefully, you'll find a big weight has been lifted of your shoulders ok?" Hermione whispered to her reassuringly and Nadia could help to but nod and smile in thanks. She couldn't fault Hermione, with every second of worrying and stress; Hermione was by her side throughout it all.

Eventually, they made it to the barrier and Hermione and Nadia shot through first onto platform 9 and 3/4. The familiar scent of the Hogwarts express steam wafted through the air and into Nadia's naval causing her to shiver in recognition. Shouts of excited laughter and screams echoed along the platform, making Nadia's heart melt at the loss of joy and laughter she's been missing.

While waiting for the rest of the Wesley's and the order to enter the barrier and onto the platform, Nadia scanned the crowd for a familiar lock of blonde hair or a set of azure blue eyes. She was disappointed when she couldn't find him. However, the familiar face of her brother entered her sights and she was relieved to find him gesturing for her to follow him onto the train. Hopefully to an empty compartment so they could talk.

"Hermione, I'll see you later, I've just seen Blaise. Let molly and the rest of the order I said goodbye?" Nadia uttered quickly, careful not to loss Blaise in between the heads of other students.

"Of course, just go clear your thoughts ok? I hate seeing you this upset." Hermione responded sadly and pulled Nadia into a bone-crushing hug before she departed to see her brother. First orders of business get these aggravating thoughts and questions out of her head.

As they were the first few students on board Nadia and Blaise were easily able to find an empty compartment, they entered and pulled the blinds down so no unwanted visitors could spy on them from the corridor.

Blaise looked different from the before the summer, he faced was etched with stress and his eyes were dark and shadowed, like he wasn't getting enough sleep either. Maybe to looming events were weighing down on him also.

"Ohh Blaise I've been going crazy this summer! I have like a million questions and like only 2 answers, please tell me, you know at least something to ease my worrying." Nadia's outburst seemed to take Blaise aback, but not by much, which made Nadia release he was probably prepared for this. His face seemed to soften and he looked Nadia gently in the eyes, before he replied.

"I know and I'm sorry, we probably should've had this talk a while ago and I'm sorry. The answer to your question is yes I do know some stuff but you're going to have to listen and please don't freak out ok?" Nadia nodded her head in answer and leaned forward slightly, eager to hear what Blaise had to say.

"Talia and Darnell Zabini, mum and dad, loved you so much, even know she can never stop talking about you, about the daughter she had but never got to love, to cherish. You were what she called her angel daughter." Nadia's heart clenched in sorrow at what Blaise, had announced. Her mum and dad did love her, still do. But why did they give her up? Nadia was burning to utter the question but did not want to interrupt her brother.

"Yet, they were not expecting twins, was a miracle in their eyes, but also a death sentence. We were a pureblood family, at a time when the dark lord was at his power. This meant that any pureblood family that had more than one offspring would have to become a death eater. So of course mum and dad had to make a choice, you or me. She gave you up to give you a better future because if it was just you, you wouldn't have been given a choice, you would automatically have become a death eater. Mum wanted you to have a choice. She wanted to make sure that a woman and a woman of colour was given a choice. So she gave you to best loving family she could find and she gave you a future. It broke her heart to do so, and I would say she has never been the same since. But I know she doesn't regret it, not one bit." Nadia noticed his eyes were slightly glassed over but she knew he was too proud to cry, even if he was in front of her. His revelation however, shocked her to the bone. Her mother, who she had secretly hated for giving her up, did it so Nadia could have a choice, a choice in her future. Wait, now that Voldemort knows Blaise and Nadia were siblings, does that mean, one of them has to become a death eater? Has her mother's sacrifice been all for nothing? Her heart solidified to ice at the thought and she looked into the eyes of her brother in shock. Him or her.

"Wait does that mean one of us has to become a death eater now?" Nadia stated into the open and she watched as his face feel in sadness.

"I'm not sure, but if the time came where we had to choose, it will be me." Blaise stated confidently, even though his choice angered her she knew he was doing it to protect her.

"No you can't! I won't let you! I've just got you back, I can't lose you so you can serve the dark lord, and I won't allow it." She shouted, not to loudly though, as she knew more students were travelling along the corridor and she didn't want any wanted eves droppers.

"Look your stubborn, I'm stubborn and if we carrying on this petty argument were gonna be here forever. Don't worry you little head about this now, Voldemort's lying low at the moment which means recruiting death eaters and following you up on finding dad will be the last thing on his mind. So stop worrying, you have other things to worry about this year, then something that can wait awhile." Blaise lectured and Nadia couldn't help but feel a little dejected, she kind of hoped she would be the bossy one in their relationship. However, she didn't dwell on it long because the mention of dad peeked her interest.

"That's another thing, how am I supposed to know where dad is? Surely the best bet would be to ask you, you grew up with him? Surely you would know where he is?" Nadia babbled and she was shocked to find he didn't react the way she wanted him to.

"That's the other thing, the only person that knows where he is, is you. Dad was the one to deliver you to your new home. The last time you saw dad was the last time I saw him to. He didn't tell anyone of his plan, but at the time he was wanted by Voldemort for being a traitor. So when he took you to your home he cast a spell on you, making you the only person who knew where he was and then he vanished into the night, never to be seen or heard of again." Nadia leaned back into her chair in thought and rubbed her forehead. She was the only one who knew where her dad was? How come she's never felt anything or felt the spell working or something? What if the spell didn't work and she could never find her father again?

"How do I find him then? Do I like do something or say something to start the spell?" She asked quizzically and was surprised to find Blaise laughing at her in response.

"I don't know how it works but I'm sure it's not that. Anyway like I said that's another thing you shouldn't worry yourself about ok? The longer you spend finding dad, is the longer he stays hidden from Voldemort. While you're not looking for him, his staying safe. Ok?" Blaise uttered reassuringly and Nadia was relived to find a big weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she felt less responsible for a lot of things now.

"Ok, thank you Blaise for reassuring me." She uttered with a smile and was relived to find him reciprocating one.

"Hey what are brothers for huh? Anyway I better get back to the Slytherin lot, I bet there wondering where I am." He stood from the chair and engulfed Nadia into a tight hug; she relaxed into his embrace and was relived to find how normal this felt, after only knowing each other for a short amount of time. Blaise then pulled away and continued to exit the compartment; however, he stopped at the threshold and turned back towards Nadia.

"Ohh and Rachai, I know about Draco, so don't think I won't be having a word with him."

After Blaise had left, Nadia went and found Hermione where she sat for the rest of trip talking about the conversation she had with her brother. She was grateful that Hermione listened respectfully and was also glad with the advice she offered to her afterwards. By the time the train rolled into the platform the evening air and colour had drifted into the chill of night and Nadia clutched her robes around her tightly for warmth.

Nadia, Hermione, Ron, Harry and Neville were on of the last students to exit the train and approach the carriages that would take them up towards Hogwarts for dinner. However, the sight of the changed carriages stopped Nadia in her steps and she marvelled up at the creatures pulling the carriages, she also realised she wasn't the only one staring.

"What is it?" Harry asked transfixed into the night, Hermione and Ron glanced sideways at harry in confusion, wondering what he was talking about.

"What's what?" Ron answered confusingly, asking the question that was also on Hermione's and Neville's minds.

"That. Pulling the Carriages." Nadia stated, pointing at the beautiful skeletal like horses before them. She watched as the other averted the confused looks from harry to Nadia and back again.

"Nothing's pulling the carriage, Harry. It's pulling itself, like always." Hermione stated matter of factly and Nadia wondered why only her and Harry could see the creature and not the others. Suddenly Harry began to walk forwards towards the front of the carriage and Nadia had the good sense to follow, so that she wasn't hounded with questions by the others.

"You're not going mad. I can see them too. You're just as sane as I am." An angelic voice sounded from atop the carriage. The voice belonged to a girl Nadia had never seen before. The girl had blonde white hair that flowed down her back as if it was swaying with magic. Her eyes were a cobalt blue and were sparkling like a lake in the midnight light. She looked friendly and Nadia couldn't help but like her already, even though she did look at bit odd. The others however, didn't seem to like her as much as Nadia, because while clamouring into the carriage they chose a seat and sat awkwardly in silence.

"Everyone, this is Loony Love... Luna Lovegood." Hermione coughed slightly, embarrassment clouding her checks at the mistake, however, Luna didn't seem to mind so much.

"What an interesting necklace." Hermione again broke into the silence, eager to fix her mistake from before and hopefully get on Luna's good side. Luna just smiled in response and clutched her necklace as if she was studying it.

"It's a charm, actually. Keeps away the Nargles." Luna uttered in response and Nadia couldn't help but bite back a laugh. What the hell was a nargle? The carriage was once again silent and the only person that didn't seem awkward in the conversation was Luna.

"Hungry. I hope there's pudding." Luna excitedly exclaimed into the silence and didn't seem all the surprised or dejected when not one replied. Suddenly the carriage began to move up towards the castle.

"What's a nargle?" Ron whispered to Nadia and she noticed he was trying not to laugh, which of course made Nadia want to laugh.

"No idea" She whispered back, adding a quite laugh on the end.

They turned a corner and Hogwarts loomed into view, causing Nadia's stomach to knot with excitement, finally Nadia was home.