— 5000 chapter views celebration! We're going backwards in time.
Dreamcatcher
The Kalends of February (Jan 16-30)
Camelot was in shambles.
Even though Morgana's attack alongside the Southron's, and the subsequent battle for the reclamation of the castle, had been well over a week ago there was yet a noticeable pallor over the great city. Citizens that had fled only trickled back through the gates, and those that had returned picked anxiously through the remnants of their already sparse homes.
Gaius was still weak and recovering slowly from the days spent starving in a cell. Elyan's additional days of torture had not left him much better, but his youth and resilience had pushed him into action swifter—or perhaps that had been the return of his sister. Elyan was hard-pressed to leave her side.
Gwen, despite the hardships she had faced alone, had been the only bright spots in Merlin's days. She was a beacon of light and a hope for renewal for a group of men whom had lived in darkness for so long. It explained why Arthur had barely kept his eyes off of her, among other reasons of course.
That was why it was hardly a surprise that when he'd returned from dissipating a third minor trap of Morgana's, stepping into Arthur's chambers in the late evening, it was to the sight of he and Gwen locked in the conversation of old friends—or, rather, reacquainted lovers.
His exhaustion may have shown because Gwen smiled sympathetically, though Arthur's own troubles blinded him to Merlin's. Instead the king looked up and said, "Thanks for bringing supper."
Wait, what?
"Did you just thank me?"
Gwen trilled with laughter and Arthur had the decency to look embarrassed. "I actually have a favor to ask you, so if you could not be like this…"
Even more shocked, Merlin looked to Gwen and said, "What did you do with him?"
Arthur rankled and the usual aggravation returned for his smart-mouthed manservant. "Shut up for a second, will you?"
Gwen frowned, Merlin relaxed—this was more like him—, and Arthur continued. "I'm worried about Gwaine."
"You are having all the feels today."
"I haven't seen him in two days." With the mess Camelot had been, that was no surprise. Though Merlin hadn't seen him either. "You two have always been good friends…"
Honestly, Merlin felt guilty that it had gotten to the point where even Arthur had noticed. "I'll find him."
"Thank you, Merlin," Gwen said warmly. Then her eyes softened in apology and she continued. "We'll talk soon; things have been hectic."
Of course things had been hectic. He also knew they wouldn't talk soon. Things were going to be different now, with Gwen. She would be queen before the seasons changed.
—
By the time Merlin located the correct tavern—The Rising Sun, no surprise there—, he was met with a thoroughly incapacitated Gwaine. The knight twisted a pitcher idly in his right hand, apparently fascinated at the dim light refracting through it. Its emptiness belied the backache Merlin would surely gain from hefting Gwaine all throughout the darkened streets of Camelot.
He dropped into a stool at Gwaine's side and slipped the pitcher from his hand. "Wha- I was…I was drinkin' tha'," the knight slurred from the bartop.
"Believe me, Gwaine, that fact is not in dispute."
With a great effort, Gwaine heaved himself into a fully upright position. When his bleary eyes focused on the man before him he grinned and shouted, "Ah, it is my friend Merlin!" Sloppily he patted the stool on his other side, unaware Merlin had already sat. "Have a seat, mate, and another roun', barkeep!"
Merlin shook his head vehemently, but Joel only smiled and plucked the copper from Gwaine's outstretched fingers.
"What are you doing here, Gwaine?"
"Drinkin'."
Joel placed another pitcher before the two men and slid a grimy mug across the slick counter to Merlin. Gwaine reached for the alcohol, but his arm wavered in mid-air and Merlin was able to keep it away from him without much effort. "Alright, let's drink."
He poured until his mug was near to overflowing, then turned and put a splash in Gwaine's cup to occupy the knight. He made sure to keep the rest of the pitcher far away.
Gwaine said, "What brings you to my humble abode?"
"I never got to celebrate our victory," he replied without much emotion. "It hasn't really hit me yet. I keep expecting Morgana to reappear as fast as she disappeared."
Gwaine stared into the amber liquid before him. "Morgana." He said nothing else, lost in his own meandering thoughts.
Merlin chose not to push him. He wasn't really here for information. He did wonder why one of his greatest friends felt the need to drink himself into a stupor, but he was more concerned about making him feel better.
He did not know what constituted the 'usual' crowd in the Rising Sun, but the other late night members of the tavern seemed to be it. For whatever reasons they had come, they all had the look in same look in their eyes. They would be here in this dimly lit room with alcohol and strangers for company until morning brought them back to reality.
Merlin nursed his beer while he studied his friend. Gwaine's hair had been cut since he last saw him—likely whatever tangles he'd obtained while imprisoned hadn't been worth combing out. He wore his old traveling clothes and so Merlin was unsure if he could attribute the stains to recent activities or the long-gone past.
"I killed Agravaine."
He wasn't sure what made him say it, maybe he even thought Gwaine was too far gone to fully comprehend, but his friend noticed the serious tone and made a herculean effort to turn his focus to him. "How?"
He evaded the question by instead answering 'when'. "He was chasing us through a cave system, and I stayed back to get rid of him."
Gwaine was quiet, slowly processing, and then he said, "Good," in a rare embittered moment.
"I don't know what Arthur thinks happened, but just don't tell him."
The knight turned back forward and began to trace a circle of condensation on the bartop. He had yet to drink from his newly replenished cup but holding it seemed to give him some comfort. "If you say so," he said gruffly. "The traitor deserved it."
"Yeah, he did." He didn't know how to explain what it felt like to kill someone who had no hope of defending themselves.
"You should be proud." Gwaine scowled at wood of the counter as if it had been the traitor himself. "At least you did something to help defend Camelot."
"Unlike you?" Merlin snorted, "That's why you're here? Because you think you didn't save Gaius' life? Gwaine—" he sighed, ran a hand through his already wild hair, "thank you. I'm sure Morgana hates Gaius for keeping her magic secret from her for so many years. I didn't dare hope that…" he had to clear his throat, covered the lump forming with a large gulp from his mug, "…that he would be alive when I returned."
The troubled lines around Gwaine's eyes loosened slightly, and he bumped his shoulder against Merlin's with a hint of his old humor. "You're the first real friend I ever had." It didn't make much sense as a response, but it felt good to say, and good to hear, and that was enough.
A sly smirk grew on Merlin's face. "On my part, I think Lancelot still has you beat by a smidgen."
"Don't laugh at me,"
"I could not, my liege. Peasants do not have a sense of humor."
"Now I know you're poking fun." Gwaine ruffled his shorter hair but finally cracked a smile. He threw back the lukewarm beer with all the grace of a shot of liquor. "It's late, eh?"
"Yeah, let's go back to the castle."
They left the Rising Sun with much of the pitcher still intact and gifted to a lucky patron. It wasn't an extremely far walk up the hill to the castle, but the emptiness of the wide streets and the darkness overhead expanded the seconds until it felt like one of Merlin's bubbles of time had wrapped around them.
They were passing into the upper town when Gwaine finally voiced his thoughts. They matched well with the stark scenery, and he said them with a dichotomous layer of guilt and regret—guilt for allowing himself to be trapped in a hopeless situation, and regret for feeling guilty about it. "I was useless. I fought for her entertainment, and I would win, but even then I was powerless. There was nothing I could do to stop her. We were completely at her mercy."
"I know the feeling." Gwaine looked at him sharply and Merlin put a hand awkwardly on the back of his neck. "She kidnapped me awhile back."
"Fie, Merlin."
"Don't tell Arthur about that either."
This inexplicably sent Gwaine into hysterics, and Merlin tried to shush him before they woke half the noble families on the street. Eventually his chuckles were muffled behind his fist, and Merlin got to the point he'd been aiming for. "She hasn't won yet despite what she can and has done to us. That counts for something, right?"
"That it does." Gwaine swung a still slightly inebriated arm about his shoulders, smiling broadly now. "When are you going to tell me all your stories, mate?"
"Later," he replied simply. "One day, I'll tell you everything."
Footnotes:
(1) I shoved the Series 4 finale backwards in time from canon. In my story, Morgana took over the castle on Jan 1st.
Author's Note: This drabble chapter was inspired by StarlightInHerEyes22 (thank you for your request!), my wonderful reviewers and followers who got me to the happy 5000 chapter views, and the song Immortals by Fall Out Boy. Thank you, all! I was really surprised to hit 5000 chapter views this week. I truly thought it would be a few weeks from now.
I do have official songs for this story, but Immortals isn't one of them. It's an unofficial song I guess.
I got A LOT of enjoyment out of writing this aside. It was the perfect break I needed from the plot. It just flowed out of my fingers as if I'd always known I'd write it. It isn't perfect, but that's okay. Gwaine deserved some serious moments, because in the story currently he's been my comic relief.
Next chapter is halfway done, so should be updated soon!
To my reviewers: If anyone has requests for the next milestone, drop them in a review! I'll post Dreamscape at the 10,000 views mark. Also, thank you to my 'guest' reviewer :)
Nova: Love that you enjoyed the title. Thank you!
Jewelsmg: I'm really glad you enjoyed the Freya part! I think Merlin will always love her, no matter where I may or may not go with other romances. I love Merlin's little pranks on Arthur hehe. I think there is a little flame haha (great pun), at the very least she is crushing hard. I love that you don't like Bleise. I definitely want him to be a hard character to love, and in ways a hard character to hate. So, yeah, you made me really happy for not being a fan. Means I'm doing things right.
Linorien: Really glad you enjoyed Merlin interacting with the Druids! I was worried it was too cluttered with all the people. :/ I made a note to have another silent conversation whenever we see the Druids again, just for you. You requesting that actually helped me figure out a future plot-point.
Mersan123: I'm glad your taking Freya with a grain of salt. I think he is still confused. It's definitely a theme until at least the mid-season finale, maybe all year. This comment in particular didn't fuel Arthur's suspicions, so hopefully that makes you feel better. Arthur will just assume Merlin was thinking about servant duties and having a mini-argument with a figment of his imagination. He's just mad Merlin was an idiot during his peace-talks, but I think Arthur is pretty forgiving for minor transgressions like this.
StarlightInHerEyes22: Oh my goodness wow, what praise. That makes my week, honestly. Really glad you liked the Freylin; I think Merlin will always love her most. Merlin's particular slip last chapter isn't going to play out, sorry! I got everyone's hopes up :/ I mean, Arthur wouldn't assume Merlin was telepathically communicating with the Druids, right? There are other things Arthur is getting suspicious of though, all is not lost. Also, thank you for the request! Without you, this drabble chapter would not exist.
Samiri: Thank you! Plus, never apologize for long reviews, I live for them. Love that you love my absolute madness with the research I'm doing. You guys don't even know the half of it, it's quite embarrassing really. Did you know I have a map of Camelot itself drawn out? Because I do. With houses and everything. Sigh. This is my season 5 for myself as well, I am with you that I pretend Season 5 would have happened completely differently if they had been picked up for longer. Merlin will definitely not forget the Leshy, he's very important. Glad you liked the chapter as well, writing the suspicion's building up is great fun. Merlin is going to change in this story, and Freya is one step on the way, really glad you noticed.