Chapter 14.

The months that fallowed that night showed Dora just how dark and cruel the world could be, not only was she being slammed at work and blind sided by constant "babysitters", as she called them, watching her every move from the moment she walked in to the time she left then to add to it Remus had stopped coming by any more in fact he'd stopped coming to any more than one or two order meetings and when he did he wouldn't even look her way and if Violet was around he'd go to all costs to avoid her. Tonight just happened to be one of those meetings.

Dora sat at the table doing her best to focus on what was being said but she found herself often leering daggers at the older man across from her while at the same time his worn out appearance made her heart break. 'Pull yourself together! Focus!' She thought to herself tearing her eyes away from Remus to look at the end of the table where plans were being discussed but her gaze wondered back to Remus.

His hair had become shaggy and there were a few more flecks of grey in it, his eyes were focused blankly on the table, there were dark circles under them and he was thinner than was healthy. She counted in her head before peeking at the grimy window where she could just barely see the slivered moon. 'The full moons no where near so what is going on? Is he ill?' Her mind went into many thoughts about deathly scenarios until finally the meeting was over and Remus was one of the first to stand making her snap from her thoughts and mimic his move catching his eye.

His glance only lasted a moment before he turned to leave the room making her fallow making sure they were out of the kitchen before she grabbed his wrist forcing him to stop but he didn't look at her making her heart sink.

"Remus what's wrong? If your sick you shouldn't be alone..."

She trailed off as he gave a humorless chuckle and shook his head turning to face her but he only looked at her hand on his sleeve before he began working to pry it off.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with Nymphadora now if you'd be so kind as to let go I must leave."

Her jaw clenched as she gripped his sleeve tighter refusing to let go of the fabric despite his attempts to make her.

"No I'm not letting you go until you tell me why the bloody hell you've been avoiding me and Violet not to mention everyone else like we've got the damned plague or something!"

She was aware her voice was getting louder but she didn't care, the others could have filed into the room and listened all they pleased and she wouldn't care, she knew most of them had been wondering the same thing and Molly had more then once confessed her concerns when he was gone, but there were always the ones that seemed to know something the rest didn't and they weren't about to tell so she'd have to use her own way to find out.

Remus finally met her eyes his softly begging her to understand and just let him leave.

"Nymphadora please, there's no sense in getting you mixed up in it now please release me."

She felt her body go numb as if ice replaced her blood and her hand slowly let go of his sleeve but hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked up at him silently begging him not to but he just shook his head and mumbled something that sounded like an apology before he left the sound of the door closing echoing around her.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there just staring into empty air where he had been standing when a hand gently squeezed her shoulder making her look behind her to find Arthur. She quickly wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and plastered a fake smile on her face but he didn't give her the chance to speak.

"He has his reasons Nymphadora and I'm sure in time he will tell you what they are don't push him to hard and he'll come around eventually."

She sighed with a nod and fallowed him back to the kitchen only staying long enough to say her good byes before she left the house taking the long way from headquarters to her flat letting the cool spring air clear her mind. Upon arriving at her flat she answered her mother's question without speaking but rather forcing her hair to change from brown to black then back. She stepped into the flat kicking off her boots running a hand through her hair.

"Was the meeting that bad?"

Dora looked at her mother with a heavy sigh.

"Not the meeting just the fact that some men are so bloody stubborn."

She rolled her eyes fallowing her mother to the living room smiling slightly when she seen Violet sleeping on the couch beside Ted.

"Let me guess Lupin right?"

Dora sat in a chair at the kitchen table crossing her arms.

"How'd you guess? I'm just worried about him disappearing like that and for so long, he comes back looking horrid and beat up it scares me, now he won't even look at me and I'd have to be blind not to see that it's even hurting Violet three days this week she's asked why Remus isn't here or why she can't go see him I don't have it in me to tell her that he doesn't show up very much now."

Andromeda nodded setting a cup of tea in front of her daughter who pushed it away only to have it pushed back.

"A little firewhisky helps the nerves old Black family secret."

Dora cracked a smile and sipped the tea before looking over her shoulder hearing the radio music cut off into the evening news. Andromeda sat across from her daughter smiling faintly as memories of her daughter coming home on holiday from Hogwarts in all kinds of fits over some boy.

"Listen Nymphadora I've known Remus since he was 11 years old and he's always kept to himself even among Sirius and James but you know even then he never got as close to anyone not the way he did you, if the look I seen in his eyes when ever he was around you is real then he'll come to his senses before long you may just need to help him along."

Dora took another drink of the tea setting the cup down.

"I don't know mum, he treats me like I'm half my age and everyone else knows something I don't and it's driving me crazy!"

Andromeda did her best to hide a smile before she looked at the empty cup between them.

"I told them you'd catch on before long, Dumbledore agreed but he also agreed the less those closest to Remus knew the better, the less danger they'd be in."

Dora's eyes searched her mother's face as her heart beat wildly in her chest.

"Figure what out? What's going on?"

Andromeda sighed taking her hand holding it for a moment.

"He's gone underground as a spy for Dumbledore, he's spying on Greyback and the rest of the pack just like last time."

Dora yanked her hand free and her hair took on a life of its own suddenly flaming crimson as she quickly cast a silencing charm on the door way before the flood gates opened.

"HE'S DOING WHAT?! He's been acting as a spy all this time and no one thought to tell me?! I've been thinking I did something to push him away!"

She began pacing the floor bitting her index finger nail her hair changing an array of color before locking on brown.

"Please tell me he didn't do it willingly, he did it because Dumbledore told him to do it not asked him to."

Her eyes were now flooded with tears as her stomach churned and knotted while she watched Andromeda slowly shake her head folding her hands on the table.

"It was his choice, he had the option to say no but he didn't."

Dora sat back in the chair hiding her face in her hands gathering herself before she looked up again her eyes swimming with fear, anger and a slur of other emotions but there was one that told her mother some form of plan was forming.

"Don't do anything rash Nymphadora, and don't say you won't I raised you and you've got the same kind of determination that runs in the Black family blood,"

Dora poured at being both found out and cut off.

"My point is you have Violet to worry about you can't just go walking into the pack and try to drag Remus away it will end very badly for you, I know you were trained to handle situations like that but so are they, bite them young and raise them to kill away from the family that has always been Greyback's way of doing things and it won't change Remus told us all about it the first time."

Dora felt her heart sink into her stomach as the words brought up all the old dusty files of countless children bitten by Greyback over the years many of whom had died not long after being bitten and the ones that lived had become murderous, the very thought of Remus being mixed in with all of that made tears spring to her eyes again but she quickly swallowed them taking a deep breath.

"I know mum it's just a pain to think he'd chose to do it, he seemed so relaxed around here to now he's shutting me out."

Andromeda offered a small smile as she got to her feet undoing the charm on the door way before she spoke.

"He's only doing what he needs to, the way he sees it anyone close to him is in danger of being attacked by Greyback so try not to take it to heart he's trying to protect you."

Before Dora could counteract her she got to her feet and went to the living room waking Ted and with a final glance back left the flat giving her daughter something to think about. Dora let it sink in as she put Violet to bed and went to her room laying her bed standing at the ceiling her mind lost in an ocean of panicked thoughts, scared thoughts, angry thoughts and many more until she finally fell asleep.

XxXx

Over the next few weeks Dora was pulling long guard shifts for the order as well as many hours at work but she couldn't complain about the work for the order all the time a few times she had run into Harry and when they made their trip to Hogsmead she seen them but each time she ran into Harry she could tell something was bothering him though she thought it best not to pry as she made her rounds.

With in the time she had been stationed around the school and village Dumbledore had finally told her that Remus was indeed doing spy work from inside the pack but all of his own choice and that he had already brought a few of the younger members to change sides though most were reluctant, tempted to much by the false promises Voldemort offered them. As the warmth of late spring gave way to the warm early summer Dora learned Remus was also being placed on patrols now that his time as a spy was over and finally on night they had been placed at the same station in Hogsmead giving her a chance to corner him.

She waited until after they had made rounds of the area before she pulled him into an alley between Rosemerta's bar and one of the houses making him blink more then a little surprised.

"Why didn't you just tell me yourself that you were going to be playing spy to the werewolves? I was worried sick and terrified I had run you off."

He looked at her his eyes hurt as he struggled to think of what to say for a moment making her swallow a lump in her throat.

"I thought you loved me, if that were true you would have told-"

She stopped talking as he held up a hand to stop her before he spoke.

"Listen Nymphadora what happened fallowing Sirius' death was all a mistake, we were looking for a way to dull the pain and we rushed into the first thing that felt right, what dulled the pain the best. No matter how you look at it its not safe for us to be together, not in the least, I'm to old for you, to poor and by far much to dangerous."

Dora looked at him horrified as his words sunk in and tears stung her eyes. She shook her head refusing to believe it because it couldn't have been true not in any form, he had told her that he loved her.

"Remus-"

But he stopped her again this time looking at the castle and slowly a look of horror filled his eyes as an eery green light washed over the village from above the schools astronomy tower making her look up the same horror washing over her as she seen the green skull and snake glittering in the air.