Hey guys, I'm so glad you enjoyed my last chapter. It came much more quickly that the previous chapters and it was, if I may say so, some of my best work.
Oh, before I forget one of my buddies asked me how Bunny was having an identity crisis and I assume a bunch of you know what I was talking about, but some of you might not, so I thought I might clarify: Bunnies are not native to Australia. Yeah, true story. Bunnies started as sport for white hunters when they settled on the continent but they quickly multiplied and became their own epidemic. Thus, Bunny not being a native Australian. Thus him having an identity crisis every time it's mentioned.
Ya got it? Good. I'd like to thank my great friends Fanty, Drago, Star, and two new friends. Obi, and DarkHorseBlueSky. Obi has been the driving force behind my updates of Fear is a killer and Dark has helped me by just straight up being cool. Seriously. I've never had cooler friends in my lifetime.
OK, I'm guessing you want to start the next chapter. Okely dokely, but I'm going to warn you this is a bit different than my usual chapters. Just warning ya.
Pitch paced his caves. He'd been doing that for an hour, watching the screen and waiting for something, anything, to pop up. He's gotten his hopes up twice in the last hour, but both times the 'message' was a pop-up for detergent. Both times he'd jumped for the mouse and clicked and both times he'd fallen back into his couch, groaning and angry that it wasn't something important!
He tried sleeping, but he kept seeing visions of Tooth smacking him and the other Guardian watching with popcorn in their laps. He tried eating, but his nervous stomach just vomited up whatever minor meal he'd been able to make. He even tried reading, but the words swam in front of his eyes and he had to put the book down before he keeled over from dizziness. There was nothing he could do! Everything just made him more nervous!
"What have I got to be nervous about?" he asked himself as he paced first towards the couch, then away as he turned around and faced the wall. "Either she says yes to... whatever I wanted her to agree to, or she laughs in my face." he nodded. "She'll probably laugh in my face." That would serve him right, naive fool that he was. Why on earth should she, a Guardian, even consider giving him a second chance? Why would she?
"That's a simple answer." he muttered. "She wouldn't! I'm the Boogeyman, a creature to be loathed and feared. I don't deserve anyone's pity, especially one of the beings I hurt and practically tortured to get what I wanted."
He sighed and dramatically flopped down onto his couch, wishing for anything to take his mind off of the nervous tension that was creeping around his mind. ANYTHING! A book, a movie, a TV show, moon, even a Fanfiction story would be preferable to this agonizing silence.
That idea struck home and Pitch lunged for the computer, yanking it onto his lap and feverishly clicking the email. He still hadn't finished Sanderson's story and, despite that it was a crude facsimile of himself, it was interesting. At least it might help him calm down!
He read for about a minute and a half, then he shut the lid and collapsed back onto the couch. The words were bad enough when they were tiny, but when he was in this nervous state they ran along the screen like little black worms, making him feel dyslexic.
"UGH!" he yelled, throwing one of the cushions into the air and hitting it with a bolt of nightmare sand. "Moon, I hate to admit this. . . but I wish Abby were here!" Pitch sighed. This was what he'd been reduced to; a lowly being with barely enough power to summon a nightmare, begging for the company of a mad purple-haired who had teased him relentlessly since she'd met him. "Not only that, but she's insulted me, belittled me, called me an idiot and a hundred other names. She drives me practically insane," he paused, staring at the black ceiling. He could almost see a face smiling down at him, chiseled out of the rock. "but at least she's company."
Silence.
Pitch sighed. He'd had a feeble hope that Abby had been listening and would pop up, saying something smarmy or sarcastic about his confession; "Awww, you do care," or "well gosh, I should get that in writing" but she didn't. She didn't pop up or say a word and there was nothing but silence, filling the whole room and making him clench his fists in irritation.
Pitch sighed again and sat up. His heart was beating and his throat was dry. He needed a drink, and he needed a bath. Hot. Very very hot. He needed the relaxing warmth. Pitch got up, stretched and made his way to the small area that served as his kitchen. It was located near the back of the largest cavern and didn't consist of more than a few cupboards and a sink. It was co cold down here that he didn't need a fridge to keep food cold. He could just leave it out for the entire day and no one would really care. He wouldn't, anyway.
Pitch Black hardly ever ate and when he did, it was more of a passing fancy. The last time he'd indulged in human food was about seven years ago. It was a steak sandwich thrown away by some human at a delicatessen because of his gut problems. Pitch had rescued the uneaten sandwich and had spent three hours savoring the flavor and texture of the meat, the taste of the mayonnaise and the tang of the red onions hidden just under the pickles. It had been so heavenly that, by the time he'd been finished, night had fallen.
That was the first, (and last,) time Pitch Black was late to his job.
Pitch made his way to the sink, turned on the tap, picked up a clean glass and filled it with all natural mineral water drawn directly from the earth's underground wells, rid of parasites and other impurities, and filtered up into his tap. A thousand times better than the human variety. That stuff was filled with chlorine and other disgusting unnatural properties. If it was one thing Pitch couldn't stand, it was human companies boasting about their deliciously pure water, and then adding a bunch of chemicals to make it taste better. Hypocrites.
"Disgusting." he said, taking a drink. This water, however, was cool and refreshing and he only drank about two thirds before pouring the rest on his face. "Ohhhhhhhhh," he moaned happily. "Thank you! That hits the spot."
He filled the glass again, emptied it again and set the glass down on the counter. The cool water sloshed inside his stomach and he sighed. "Yes, much better." he said. "Now for that bath."
All the water supply in Pitch's caverns was diverged from natural springs and wells. It wasn't like human plumbing, where you could summon hot water at the flick of a switch. Oh no. In Pitch's caverns, you had to hike down through the caves to find natural hot springs fueled by minor volcanic eruptions. The water was a disturbing shade of green, but it's natural salts and other minerals completely washed out his pores and made him feel like he was a hundred years old again.
He found the spring he was looking for, an eight foot wide and six foot deep pool of bubbling green water that let off the most amazing scents, relatively fast, due to the helpful signs he'd put up over the many years of exploring his caves. The signs showed where the important landmarks of his caves were- hot springs, waterfalls, lava pits and things like that, but much more important were the big red signs that marked the homes of the caves' other occupants. Believe it or not, Pitch had some pretty nasty neighbors which, in the bad old days, he'd sent packing with a bolt of nightmare sand to the rear and that had been that. Now, they went so far as to come into his caves, uninvited, and watch his TV whenever they pleased!
"No good free-loaders." Pitch muttered as he shrugged off his robe and the rest of his clothes, sinking into the hot pool with a look of utter bliss on his face. The coils of steam rose around his face and he could feel the tension leaving his body. For the first time since this ridiculous Fanfiction affair, he felt calm and relaxed. The water was the perfect temperature and as he lazily floated there with only his head above the surface, he sighed happily. "I should really do this more often."
"No shit!"
"GAH!" Pitch yelled, automatically jumping up but forgetting about the shelf of rock that protruded above where he was laying. He bonked his head, fell back into the pool kicking and splashing, kicked a stalactite and received a sharp pain in his foot, yelled in pain, swallowed some water, (which, if he had to be honest didn't taste half-bad,) and flailed some more.
"Whoops. Sorry Pitch."
"AB-bbbbbbbbb-BY!" he yelled, sinking below the surface for just a few seconds and then coming up again, his mouth full of green water.
"Are you supposed to swallow that?" she asked uncertainly.
Pitch's only answer was a few muffled yells and some bubbles because he'd slipped and gone under again.
"Oops." Abby said. "but seriously Pitch, I don't think you're supposed to swallow that. Do you even know what's in it?"
Pitch, who's head was still underwater and thus hadn't heard Abby's suggestion of not swallowing the water, was still trying to find his footing in the pool. The bottom was sandy and every time he tried to stand, he slipped and gravity pulled him back under again. It was so irritating that he found himself yelling and bellowing and screaming protests like a fussy two-year-old, but he didn't care. The scent of brimstone- sulfur, to the scientific world, filled his nostrils and the salty water clogged his mouth.
Eventually, after much thrashing and yelling, Pitch found his footing and erupted from the water in a torrent of fury. "ABBY!" he bellowed, glaring up at where her voice had come from. This was too much! Too much! The camera in his room was one thing, but this?! This was beyond invading his privacy. This was straight up rude!
"What?" she demanded. "I tried looking for you in the rest of your caves, but you weren't there! Then I tried calling your name, rather loudly, I might add, and you didn't answer. So, I decided to deploy one of my secret spy orbs and use the UV filter to track you by following the footsteps you made that were covered in the the selenium-based tracker one of my gadgets sprayed on your feet while you were asleep last night."
Pitch blinked. "Really?"
"No, not really. I followed the signs. By the way, Giant testicle-eating spider lives here? Really Pitch?"
Pitch frowned. "I don't know of any testicle-eating spiders down here."
"OK, well, that's really...creepy." Abby said. He imagined her smiling. "Ahem. Giant testicle-eating spiders who can write no less! Yikes. Ahem, anyway." she coughed. "You know why I'm here, right?"
Pitch sighed. "I assume it's to tell me how the meeting went and explain why you didn't tell me when you were going to start the meeting?"
Abby coughed. "Oh, yeah. That. He he. Sorry Pitch. In all the commotion I forgot about telling you."
Pitch sighed. "I have no doubt this is going to take a while, so, if you'll allow me some privacy I will put my robe on and then we can talk in my caves." he started to get out of the water and Abby said, "No problem. Closing my eyes. Muting all sound."
Pitch smiled. That's what she got for invading his privacy.
Ten minutes later Pitch was back in his part of the caves, sitting on his couch with his hands folded in his lap. Abby had just begun telling him about what had happened.
"OK, so I know I said I'd splice the cable in so that you could watch and listen,"
"You did."
"But I honestly forgot. Things happened so quickly that it was over and done with before I could remember about you. I'm sorry I kept you waiting a while."
Pitch sighed. "It's alright. So, what did she say?"
"Oh, there's the good news!" Abby said. Pitch heard the sounds of typing and Abby muttering under her breath.
"OK, nope. That's the ID crisis footage. . . no, that's my seventh birthday video. No, that's my Toph Playlist. . . Aha! Here we go."
Pitch didn't even want to ask.
"OK, so I recorded the video of me and the Guardians and just sent it to you." Abby said. Pitch heard the sound of a kiss and he recoiled. "Mwa! The internet is a beeeeeee-utiful thing."
Pitch sighed. "Abby, did you just seriously-"
"Kiss my laptop? Yeah. Why not? I've seen plenty of people do weirder. I know a friend who actually buys his laptop pedicures every month. I keep telling him that laptops don't have toes, but he won't listen. What a waste."
Pitch rolled his eyes. Just another thing to add to the rapidly growing list of Abby's weird quirks.
"Anyway, the email should be coming through any old time." Abby said and, less than a second later, it did.
Pitch heard the beep and eagerly leaned forward to see the video. At first the screen was blank, then, after a few minutes of waiting it gradually began to come alive and show the beginnings of the meeting between Abby and the Guardians. The first part started out well enough. Pitch could see the Guardians sitting far below the camera, then the camera went down farther and he could see them clearly. North, in all his red-coated glory, Bunnymund examining his boomerangs nonchalantly, Jack Frost leaning on his staff and Sanderson sitting in a huge armchair with his head lolling.
But Pitch only had eyes for Toothiana. Her feathers shone brightly and she sat on an elegant footstool, obviously to keep from sitting on her wings. Her crown of feathers were slick and clean, and her eyes were shining brightly. She looked beautiful. Pitch leaned back and watched as the camera panned over the other Guardians, but he kept his eyes on Toothiana. She was just sitting there, trying to talk to Bunnymund. The rabbit was ignoring her from what Pitch could see and he clenched his fists. They didn't deserve her. Tooth was kind and much more of a Guardian than they were.
"Testing testing, one two one two, Guardians, are you receiving?"
Pitch smiled. Abby was checking to make sure that the connection was clean. What proceeded next was highly interesting and Pitch watched the next few minutes with rapt attention. He saw how Abby had infiltrated the North Pole, watched with smug satisfaction while the Guardians had uneasily looked around for their unseen adversary, smiled when Abby told Bunny that "If you think I sound like Pitch Black then you need to go to the vet and have your ears checked."
"I don't sound anything like you." Abby complained.
"You certainly do not." Pitch agreed.
Then it got to the part about introducing Abby and her friends.
"What we will do is be polite," Abby's voice said. "girls, and introduce ourselves before we say anything more. My name is Mystichawk," then Pitch saw the screen glitch a bit and skip forward through about three minutes, then it settled back into the regular speed. "But you can call me Abby. Mystichawk's far too long for normal conversation."
"Hang on, what just happened?" Pitch said, pressing the minute pause button. And looking up at where he imagined Abby was looking down on him.
"Ummm, nothing. Computer glitch." Abby said. Was it just him, or did she seem nervous.
"Computer glitch?" he said skeptically. "Really? I could tell that you made it skip, Abby. The tone was all different when you said Abby, from when you said my name is Mystichawk."
"I don't know what you're talking about Pitch." Abby said. She sounded like she was telling the truth, but Pitch knew better than to take anything Abby said at face value. She'd made a fool of him too many times to count and every single time she said something believable, she turned right around and said that she was 'joking' or 'just playing around'. He was starting to think that she was a habitual liar.
"It makes sense." he muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." he said, smirking.
"I'm so sure. Whatever. Anyway, are you going to press play anytime soon?"
"When you tell me why you skipped three minutes of footage."
"I'm telling you, I didn't skip anything important! Just some boring chitter-chatter-"
"HA!" Pitch said, pointing one body gray finger at the ceiling. "You said you didn't skip anything important! Then you admit that you did skip something!"
Abby laughed. "You are learning some bad habits from me, Pitch. OK, I admit that I did edit this video for time purposes. A few snippets here, a few snippets there, you know! It's not like I'm taking away some vitally important information that you're going to wish you knew forever!"
Sad as if was, Pitch was already wishing he knew it. It was infuriating!
"Alright." he said, taking a deep breath and pressing play. The video resumed where it had been stopped.
"Abby then. Thank you Abby." that was Bunnymund.
"Why was he thanking you?" Pitch asked suspiciously, turning his head upwards to peer at the ceiling where he was sure Abby was watching him.
"I can't remember." Abby said.
Pitch sighed and turned his head back to the screen. Abby introduced Drago, who, apparently had taken a fancy to Bunnymund. That was highly amusing. Then Fanty decided that Abby was taking too long and butted in, saying her name and a few jokes as well. That was also highly amusing. It was surprising that Bunnymund was eager to hear Fanty's sequel to Listen To Your Heart- which he'd read and mildly enjoyed, amusing author's notes and all. He assumed that none of the Guardians was interested enough to read that particular story, but apparently he was wrong.
The video progressed, showing more and more humorous events. Fanty's fan-girl squealing, Fanty mocking North's lack of knowledge, Abby boasting about how awesome she was.
"You do like to boast." Pitch remarked.
"Hey, it's not boasting. I'm just that awesome." Abby said, smiling.
Pitch smiled. "Abby, I will grant that you are a very...unique writer with a gift for improvisation, and you are an excellent hacker. That I will give you."
"Thanks!" Abby said, obviously pleased at the compliment.
"Though your social skills are in much need of remedy and you have no kind of tact at all."
"True."
"I'm just a humble hacker." the video-Abby said, breaking into their conversation.
"Call it what you like, you're still a badass." Star countered.
"I am, aren't I?" Abby replied smugly.
"Yes!"
Pitch laughed. It felt good to laugh again. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he'd laughed before this Fanfiction affair had started but he knew it had been a long time. "And also humble." he said, smirking.
"You know," Abby said, sounding thoughtful. "You do have a very interesting laugh. I think that adorable isn't the right word, but it sounds really nice. Kind of like a kid's laughter."
Pitch blinked, not at all sure where that had come from.
"Ummm. . ."
"Ahem." Abby coughed. "Pay no attention to me. I'm just mumbling."
Pitch frowned. Trying to figure out Abby's train of thought was like trying to find your way out of an invisible maze. It was hard, confusing, frustrating and you got completely turned around. He didn't know why Abby had suddenly decided to compliment his 'adorable' laugh, but he suspected it had something to do with his complimenting her computer skills and writer's skills. Interesting. So she was courteous, when she wasn't annoying.
"That's interesting." he whispered again.
"I'm really getting tired of you mumbling." Abby said. "If you've got something to say-"
"If I've got something to say to you," Pitch interrupted. "I'll say it."
"Good."
"Incidentally, I do have something to ask."
"Go right ahead."
"Were you telling the truth when you told North about the way you got the speakers in the North Pole to work?"
Abby didn't answer for a few minutes. Pitch frowned. Was she gone? Was she just teasing him by keeping quiet, like that stunt a few hours ago when she'd startled him and made him fall off the couch? "Abby?" he asked, leaning in to peer at the computer.
"I'm still here. I'm just thinking." Abby replied. Silence for about five minutes, then, just as he was about to ask again, Abby spoke up. "Hmm." She said, sounding like she was musing about the question. "You know, I rather think I was. It wasn't that hard to hook them up. Though I don't really remember."
Pitch blinked. "You don't remember?"
"I have short-term memory loss." Abby said, by way of an explanation. "I remember a lot of things, Book quotes, characters, movie names, actors. . . but when it comes to trivial things like that, I can't remember to save my life!"
Pitch nodded slowly, his mind reeling with interest. Just another one of Abby's strange quirks and habits. "Huh." he said. "I would never expect that of you. Short term memory loss. Interesting. I'm learning more and more about you each time we talk Abby."
He imagined Abby smiling. "The same goes for me. You might want to rewind the video, Pitch. You skipped a bit."
Pitch nodded and rewound the video a little bit.
"Ahem." Tooth said, coughing. Pitch smiled. She was so polite.
"Oh, yes. Back to business."
"Vhy you are here," North said.
"Why we're here." Abby repeated. "We are here, simply put, to talk."
"Hang on, hang on," Pitch said, pausing the video. "Last I checked, you guys were just mentioning why you were there!"
Abby didn't reply.
"Abby," Pitch said accusingly.
'Like I said, time purposes." Abby said mildly. "It was just a bunch of blether about me and my girls. Just press play Boogerman, and don't think about it."
Pitch rolled his eyes and pressed play.
"Just to talk?" Bunny's voice came out of the speaker. He sounded suspicious. That's smart, Pitch thought.
"Yep!" the voice of Drago said happily.
Then Abby explained why she was here and what she wanted.
"Nice cover," Pitch said. "Telling them that you wanted to interview them. Good idea."
"Thanks!" Abby said.
"OK." the video Abby said. "So, why don't we start with something simple?"
"Like?" North asked Pitch noticed he was looking a little nervous. interesting.
"Favorite foods?" Abby suggested.
"Favorite foods? That's the best you can do?" Bunny asked skeptically, raising a furry eyebrow.
"I agree." Pitch said. "You could've at least picked a question where you actually learn something about them."
"Hey, cut me some slack!" Abby said. "I had to think on my feet!"
"Oh dear, well that makes all the difference. Thinking quickly. What an effort!" Pitch said sarcastically.
"Oh shuddup and listen." Abby muttered. "Actually, scratch that. This bit is a bit boring, so if you want to skip it go ahead."
Pitch shrugged and put the video on fast-forward. North protested about something, Jack smiled that irritating smile and Tooth said something.
Pitch stopped it instantly. Anything Tooth was saying was worth hearing.
Tooth's voice came nervously through the speakers and he wondered why she sounded nervous.
"W- well," Tooth stammered. Pitch sighed. She was so beautiful, even when she was nervous. He hadn't realized just how much he cared about her until now, now that he'd said it out loud and it wasn't just inside his head. Pitch sighed again. Tooth. Just thinking about her made him happy, thought he had a feeling his happiness was going to be short-lived. Abby was just prolonging the inevitable. There was no way Tooth was going to say yes and this grim thought cast a cloud of depression over him once again. He sank down in his seat a little bit, as if deflated.
"It's just that ice cream is so full of sugar and, well, you know what happens to memories when your teeth get cavities." Tooth continued, stammering. Pitch sat up a little bit, interested.
North, Bunny and Sandy all nodded but Jack looked a little confused.
"Um... no, we don't." Abby's voice said. "Humans here. And obviously Jack doesn't get it either."
Pitch heard Jack admit that that was true and Abby said, "
"So, care to explain to us- ignorant teenagers."
Pitch blinked. Had Abby's voice just changed? It sounded more like Star than Abby. Huh. Maybe it was just his imagination.
For some reason Tooth smiled and rolled her eyes. Pitch thought it made her look so beautiful. "Well, cavities eat away at teeth, don't they?" she replied.
"Yes." Abby said, sounding uncertain.
"And teeth hold memories. So... the cavities that eat away at the teeth also eat away at the memories inside."
Pitch paused the screen on Tooth's face. She still looked a little nervous as her frozen face stared up at the screen.
"That is. . . very interesting." Pitch said thoughtfully. "So...if you have bad teeth then you forget some of your memories. Interesting."
"Yeah, it is. I had no idea that rotten teeth mean rotten memories." Abby said. "I wonder what memories your teeth hold."
Pitch smiled. "I have no idea." he said truthfully. He didn't think he had any memories that weren't from his time as the Boogeyman. In fact, he was sure of it. He's never been anything besides the Boogeyman, that he knew of.
"Huh. Well, maybe you'll find out soon." Abby mused.
Pitch nodded and pressed play.
"What do you do when you take a tooth with a cavity?" Fanty was asking.
"We take it to be cleaned." Tooth replied. "There's a part of my Palace where the girls spend several hours scrubbing the teeth. The paste we use scrubs away all the plaque and fills in the cavities."
Pitch paused the video again and nodded thoughtfully. "Very interesting." he said.
"Yeah. I figured it would be good for you to hear something about what Tooth does. It might help your chances." Abby said.
Pitch nodded in thanks. "Thank you. It might at that."
Pitch watched the rest with mild interest. Abby made fun of the Guardians numerous times and the other three girls made plenty of amusing jokes and he laughed at them. His personal favorites were when Drago called Abby a dim blub and Abby going crazy when Jack said, "Meh."
Abby was silent the rest of the video, only interjecting a swift comment here or an annoyed grunt there. It was kind of surprising that she didn't talk more. Pitch supposed that she'd just lived this, so there wasn't much to comment about.
Towards the end of the video, Pitch started to get restless. "Is there anything important coming?" he asked.
"Oh, I'd say so. If you don't want to hear about Star's elf fantasies, you can skip ahead until Jack and the others leave."
Pitch did as he was bid and skipped ahead.
"What about Pitch?" Abby asked.
"What about Pitch?" Tooth replied.
"Well, was he nicer than normal around you at these parties?" Abby asked.
Pitch frowned.
"I was talking to her about the hundred years party." Abby explained.
"Ah." Pitch said.
"Well, now that you mention it," Tooth said. "he was a bit nicer to me than usual. He even seemed friendly." Tooth paused. "But that was probably because he was planning world domination and he wanted to catch us off-guard."
"Ohhhhh," Abby said. Pitch imagined her smiling. "I don't know. Was he kinder to Bunny, or Sandy? Or North?"
Pitch smiled. "No. I wasn't."
"You know," Tooth said thoughtfully. "I don't think he was. Yes, I think he was only nicer to me." Tooth blinked her amethyst eyes. "Why?"
"Why do you think, Toothy?" Abby asked.
Pitch lowered his head. Here it comes. He thought.
Tooth shrugged. "I have no idea." That was a lie. Pitch could tell. He raised his head and smiled at the slight blush that was creeping into the Tooth Fairy's cheeks and the small, beautiful smile that was quirking her mouth.
Pitch watched the video with a smile of his own playing around his mouth. Abby tried to explain about him, Tooth stared in shock. He could see her mind working and he knew what was coming next. Denial. She was going to say that it wasn't possible! Someone- no, something like him couldn't possibly love someone like her.
"This is ridiculous." Tooth said. "It's a joke, like those stories and your email!"
"Tooth-" Abby tried to interrupt but Toothiana just went on ahead. Pitch felt his stomach churn. Tooth raged for about another minute, then Abby finally calmed her down.
"Tooth. . . I know this may seem like a joke to you, but it isn't. I swear. As difficult as it is for you to believe, it's true. Think about it!" Pitch winced. Her voice was sharp and determined. "Why else would he be nicer to you than everyone else? Why would be pick you to talk to at those meetings? Not only that, but why would he pick your fairies to steal first? Your teeth? It was a way of getting your attention!"
Pitch smiled. He could tell Abby was 'thinking on her feet', and yet a good portion of that was true.
"There's one simple answer," Abby continued. Pitch felt his hands clench in anticipation. "He likes you. He told me so, and I believe him."
Tooth lowered her head and Pitch felt his heart deflate. For a second, just a single second, he felt happy. Then he watched Tooth lower her head and he sank down in his seat.
Of course. He thought. She's trying not to laugh. Pitch lowered his own head. Ugh! He knew it!
"I know what you're thinking," Abby said, shaking him out of his depression. "And she's not."
"Really?" Pitch asked, raising his head. He meant it to sound sarcastic, but he knew it sounded more than hopeful. Like he was begging, almost, and he hated to beg. "I mean," he said, coughing and making his voice lower. "Really?" just a hint of sarcasm added.
"Really really." Abby said. "What she is doing is thinking extremely hard about what to do. It lasts ten minutes. I'd skip if I were you."
Again, Pitch skipped.
"Fine." Tooth said, raising her head. Pitch winced at the cold edge to her voice. "Just say that he did like me, which I'm not saying I believe." Pitch winced again. "If he really does like me so much, then why hasn't he said anything to me?"
"Are you kidding?" Abby asked. Pitch could hear her laughing and he wondered what she would say. This was the pivotal moment. If Abby said something stupid just to mess with her then she would back off and he would never have a chance to prove-
"After what happened the last time he tried to get one of you to talk to him? No way. He knew better than to talk to you. Besides, he couldn't even if he wanted to. He can't get out of his caves, remember?"
"Oh, yeah." Tooth said. Pitch saw her cheeks turn rosy.
"Besides, even if he could get out and talk to you without siccing your girls on him, he still wouldn't do it."
"Why?"
"He told me he's too embarrassed to ask you out himself." Abby replied.
Pitch dropped his head in his hands.
"Really?" he demanded. "That as the best you could come up with?! You make me sound like a love-struck fool trying to ask his first girlfriend out!"
"Ummm, isn't that exactly what you are?" Abby asked. =
"Plus, he's more than a bit afraid of North and Sandy going all BEAT-ON-THE-BOOGEYMAN on him." the video-Abby said. "He knew you'd understand but he was a bit too scared to talk to you face to face, so he asked me to do it."
Pitch sighed and raised his head. At least it can't get any worse. He thought.
"He's scared of North and Sandy?" Tooth asked, raising her elegant eyebrow.
"Can you blame him? North is like your father and Sandy is like the badass uncle who knows karate and will kill him if he goes anywhere near you. The last time they tangled, Pitch got beat to pulp. And then, of course, there's Jack."
Pitch moaned. "Don't remind me of that!" he said, burying his head in his hands again. "I had bruised where bruised ought not to be!"
"Oh, hang on," Abby said. "Pause it."
Pitch raised his head and did so.
"I have a question for you."
"What?" Pitch asked dejectedly, staring up at the screen with a defeatist look on his face.
"Why butterflies?"
Pitch blinked. "Come again?"
"When Sandy knocked you out, Butterflies started flying around your head. Golden dream-sand ones. I was just curious."
Pitch looked completely bewildered. "Butterflies?" he repeated blankly.
"Forget I said anything." Abby said. "Never mind.
Pitch, who hadn't the foggiest idea what the girl was talking about, nodded and turned back to the computer.
"Jack?" the video-Tooth repeated, staring up at the camera with a look of utter bewilderment on her face. "What does Jack have to do with anything?"
Abby sighed. "Really Tooth? You haven't noticed anything?"
Tooth shrugged. Pitch, however, knew what Abby was talking about.
Jack Frost was the epitome of immaturity, and Tooth was the epitome of kindly motherhood. The two were bound to have formed a surrogate relationship over the years.
"Jack views you like his surrogate mother." Abby explained, voicing exactly what Pitch was thinking. "If Pitch tried to make a move on you, Jack would probably show up, beat the crap out of him, drive him into hiding and then call out a man-hunt for him."
"That sounds about right." Pitch said meekly.
"Now, the men-folk are going to be coming back soon," Abby said, "and I don't think it'd be right to talk about you and Pitch around them, so I'm just gonna drop the subject." Pitch could see Tooth's relief in her eyes. "After I ask you these two questions."
Tooth sighed. "OK. Fine."
"Firstly, do you like Pitch?"
Pitch sat bolt-upright. She was honestly asking her that, after he kidnapped her fairies, stole her teeth and tried to bring about another Dark Age?
Tooth groaned. Even when she was distressed, she was pretty. Her jaw tightened and she clenched her fists in exasperation. "Abby, I don't know. He kidnapped my fairies, stole my teeth, tried to bring about another Dark Age-"
"All because he likes you!" Abby exclaimed. Pitch felt like dying.
"Come on Grimm," He whispered. "Just take me right now. I won't put up a fight!"
Several thousand miles away. . .
"Well? You gonna take him?" Eros asked in a New Yorker accent.
The tall, dark figure with his back to him near the bar shook his cloaked head. "Nah. Dis is too much fun to stop now." his voice was deep and booming, but the effect of terror was spoiled by the Jamaican accent.
Eros nodded. "My job is waaaaay too much fun, especially when other spirits get involved." He said happily. He'd been trying to think of ways to get these two together for a while, then, like a bolt from above- or below, seeing as how they were in his castle three hundred thousand feet up, this girl had popped up out of nowhere and had taken over his job for these two, Toothiana and Pitch Black. Boy they would make an awesome couple!
Grimm nodded and turned back to his with a bag of Cheetos in one hand and a bottle of root beer in the other. His black cloak billowed in an unfelt wind and his scythe was held in the crook of one arm. He would be terrifying, if he didn't have a sign on his back that said, "Reap me," courtesy of Liam Patrick Connors, the Leprechaun. "I enjoy watching dis, old friend." he said, sitting down next to Eros, commonly called Cupid, in the booth and looking up at the screens.
"That girl was so brilliant." Eros said, sipping gingerly at his drink. "Using Manny as the final word. Tooth wouldn't dare go against that!"
"I agree." Grimm said. "Just. . . don't ever tink o' trying to set me up like dis."
Eros looked wounded. "Grimm! As if I would set up my best friend." Secretly, he was already working up a strategy to get Grimm and Mother Nature together. All he would need was some glue, a spark-plug and about ten pounds of animal fat.
"Hmmm. No one knows what love will do and since you are, technically love-"
"Bah. People say the same thing about death."
"Not true." Grimm argued. "Everyone knows what Death will do. It's a guarantee, unless I'm feeling generous. Love, now dat's a whole different matter."
"I never knew you were a philosopher." Eros said, looking at his best friend.
"I'm not." Grimm said. "Now, can we get back to the movie?"
Eros smiled. "I can't wait to see what happens next."
Back in the caves. . .
Pitch watched the rest of the video with rapt attention. He was sure that soon Tooth was going to laugh at all of this and proclaim Abby a liar. Part of his wanted that, if he was completely honest. To be called a liar and to not have to deal with the stress of his situation. Part of him really wanted for all this, Abby, Tooth, the Guardians, Fanfiction itself, to just leave him alone. Part of him wanted to go back to the shadows where everything wasn't so damn confusing!
Pitch inhaled a deep breath, not that he needed to, and then exhaled. He wanted to watch the rest and to do that- without breaking out into a fit of he didn't know what, tears, screaming like a child, angry yelling and shameless begging for another chance -he needed to focus and calm down. He took another deep breath, conscious that the video was still playing.
"He said it was because he wanted to know what it felt like." That was Abby. Pitch leaned in. Did he hear- no... no, Abby wasn't. She wasn't really crying. Was she? No. One thing he had learned about Abby was that she never cried. She was too tough for that.
Then he heard a sniff.
"I'm sorry. I've got to go wipe my eyes." the real Abby said. Pitch heard the squeaking of a chair and footsteps. She was going away from the computer.
Pitch was surprised. Abby was crying.
Abby, was crying.
That was the last thing he'd expected. He'd expected her to laugh of joke, as she always did, but instead she was letting her guard down. Letting him see behind the mask of humor and sarcasm and letting him see a glimpse of a real person. It was interesting, to say the least. This was the second time in as many hours that Abby had slipped up, the first being when she'd divulged her bad memory. This was a whole new plane and, for some completely weird reason, Pitch discovered that he wanted to learn more about Abby.
He didn't get a chance to talk to many people and the first time he'd 'met' her, Abby, he'd been completely blown away by her personality. She had no tact, but she spoke cleverly and calculatedly, never driving him quite off the brink but pushing limits. She never said anything cruel or vindictive, but she had a certain way with her words that would leave you almost tearing your hair out with irritation and annoyance.
"I'm back." she said, startling Pitch out of his musings. "Why isn't the video running? I assumed you want to use every available minute with me away to watch the video with no commentary from yours truly."
Pitch smiled. "Actually, the commentary was rather amusing." he said. "And I'm not watching the video because I was thinking about something interesting."
"Really?" Abby said, sounding surprised but Pitch would hear the undertone of sadness beneath the sarcasm. "You, thinking? Holy moly I've gotta call the presses."
"Ha ha." Pitch said. He was still smiling. "Actually I was thinking about you."
Instead of a smart-ass comment that he had been anticipating, Abby's voice turned low and her tone turned threatening. "Pitch, I'm gonna warn you right now that if you start asking about why I was crying... I'm going to tell Tooth you're a woman and that's why you wear dresses."
Pitch was surprised. Not because of the insult, he'd expected that, but because of the cold tone layered with sadness that Abby was using. Why in the world was she sad?!
"Abby, what's wrong?" he asked. "You don't sound like yourself."
"I'm fine." Abby said flatly. "Just watch the rest of the video."
Pitch folded his arms. "No." He stated plainly. "Not until you tell me-"
"If you say another word I will tell every spirit on earth that you are a woman with an abnormally flat chest." Abby hissed.
"Say what you want." Pitch continued. "No one really cares about an old has-been like me."
"That's not fair!" Abby said angrily. "You used to be something greater!"
This random outburst caused Pitch to falter. "Huh?" was the only response he could come up with.
Abby's tone was drained of all emotion. "You're not a has-been. I've worked too hard to allow you to think that."
Pitch was flabbergasted. He was confused beyond belief. He literally had no idea what the heck Abby was saying or, more importantly, what she meant by it! He used to be something great? Yes, that was true, but what was all that about working too hard? How had she worked too hard to allow him to think that?
Pitch rubbed his head. Talking with Abby almost always guaranteed a headache and he could feel one coming on now.
"Abby," he said slowly. "I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about."
Abby sighed bitterly. "Of course. Of course you don't. Gods, now I know how my mother feels when she tells me what an ungrateful kid I am."
Pitch blinked. "Your mother? What has she got to do with-"
"Do you know how hard this is?" Abby demanded, cutting him off. Her tone was sharp now, angry. Pitch felt himself flinch. "Do you know how sad I was when I saw you being pulled down in that hole? How damn sad I felt when I saw the terrified look on your face? How angry I was when I saw the man in the moon smiling at the end and the Guardians going back to their jobs as if nothing had happened? Do you?"
Pitch was thoroughly confused now. He had no idea where Abby's mind was going and he had even less of an idea why she was suddenly turning into a sobbing mess. Not only was he confused beyond belief, but he was also surprised. He'd known he was Abby's favorite character from the minute she started talking to him, but to hear how strongly she felt about when he'd been pulled into that hole- which had really scared him, despite his bluster about fearing nothing, was really surprising.
"I can imagine you weren't as angry as I was." Pitch said. He wasn't trying to sound spiteful or angry in any way. He was just saying what he thought was the truth. He'd been the one pulled into the ground, after all. The last thing he'd seen when the Nightmare had taken control was the moon shining down on him. The mental image made his blood boil but he had to keep his anger in check. He wanted to know what was setting Abby off so much. Why she was so sad all of a sudden. "Abby," he said, trying to sound calm. "I want you to try an explain to me what you are talking about.
Abby sighed. "I'm talking about you, Pitch." she said tiredly. "Why I contacted you in the first place. That's a question you've no doubt been asking yourself."
Pitch nodded. He had been asking that question, though not as much as is this girl sane?
"Well, here's your answer." Abby said. "I hated it."
Pitch blinked. "Come again?"
"I hated it." Abby repeated. "The fact that the Guardians won and sent you crawling under the beds again. I hated the fact that you were forced to change what you were, despite that the Guardians had no clue or maybe they just didn't care, about how good fear is for you." Abby paused and Pitch waited patiently. "Did you know that I wanted you to win from the moment I heard you talking about hiding under beds for the rest of your life?"
Pitch shook his head.
"Well, I did. I thought it was cruel to make you stick to the shadows, just because of what you were. You could've won, you know. Even if you hadn't won you still could've tried to make a treaty with the Guardians to make it so that you could at least do your job, but, since this was a kid movie and most kids like the bad guys losing, you didn't win. You got shoved under the bed again and those Guardians turned you from a spirit into a wreck." Her voice was wavering and Pitch thought he heard her sniff. "When I finished watching RotG I decided to watch it again, and again, and again." she continued. "And each time I couldn't help thinking, how does he deal? How did Pitch handle being brought so low?"
Pitch decided that the best way to avoid a screaming match was to just nod, but inside the wheels and cogs of his mind here turning like lightning.
She really feels that way? He wondered, staring up at the screen. He could hear sniffling and Abby trying to wipe her eyes. She really preferred him over the Guardians? It was not exactly a new revelation, as she'd stated plainly that "Those Guardians are so lame. You are much cooler." but that didn't change the fact that it was a revelation. She really did care. She was rude, insufferable, tactless and often bland and always confusing, but she cared about him, from what he could see.
And that was more than anyone had ever done for him.
"I decided to look you up on the wiki." Abby said. Her voice didn't sound so wavery any more. She sounded stronger and Pitch was glad. He really wasn't good at this comforting thing. "I found out some. . . stuff, and that made me want to help you even more, but I knew that you were just a character in a movie. That you couldn't possibly be real."
Pitch flinched in spite of himself. He shouldn't care about it after hearing it so many times, but he guessed that it just didn't go away.
"That's what I thought for the longest time." Abby said. Her voice was going lower and lower. "Then I found your email address and searched that cave of yours on the web. Do you know that your cave actually exists on Google Earth?"
"Really?" he asked, in spite of himself.
Abby laughed. "Really Boogerman. Anyway, I got really deep into this and then I decided to see if you really did exist. My cameras caught you on tape. I can't tell you how happy I was when I saw the footage. That I wasn't just chasing shadows. You just can't imagine." she sounded like she was having difficulty breathing through a clogged nose now. "It was pure luck that you found the whole Rise of the Guardians universe at the same time I found you, you know. If you'd have found it sooner, none of this might've happened."
"I'll make a note to thank Patrick." Pitch said.
"Then I wrote down what I'd seen and posted it as some story. I figured you'd find it sooner or later. When you did, knowing how you'd react, I knew I had a clear shot."
"Clear shot to what?" Pitch asked.
Silence.
"Abby, a clear shot to what?" Pitch asked again. He could heard the annoyance in his voice but he didn't care. Enough beating around the bush. He needed to know what Abby was talking about right now, or else he was sure he would go insane.
"To help you." Abby said simply.
Pitch frowned, not sure he'd heard right. "To-"
"Yes, I said to help you." Abby said. Her voice was completely void of emotion, except a slight hint of happiness that threw Pitch off completely (as if the words themselves hadn't thrown him completely off already). "That's what this was all about, don't you see? I felt so bad for you and I wanted to help you."
Pitch was completely flabbergasted. His mind ground to a screeching halt and he knew that his mouth was hanging slightly open. That was what all this, the teasing, the jokes, the stories, the fun, the annoyance, the relentless teasing, it had all been to help him?! What kind of mad logic did she use to make that reasonable? It was so confusing! Abby was so confusing! She had no tact or decorum and she didn't care! She was just a happy kid- thought not so happy now, according to her sniffling. Though she wasn't sniffling anymore. Her crying had subsided and she even sounded a bit happier now, but her voice was tired, like she was a hundred years old. Pitch knew what that felt like.
Then, unexpectedly, he laughed.
He had no idea why and he found that he had no control over own body as he laughed. He laughed and laughed. His voice rising and falling in such a way that it sounded like a gentle drum-beat. He had no idea when he'd laughed this much. Possibly never. He had no idea what Abby was doing right now, but he thought he could hear her laughter somewhere in the background.
Finally, after a long time, Pitch's laughter subsided and he could hear Abby laughing. So she had joined in his fit of laughter.
"Abby?" he asked tentatively.
Abby slowly stopped her laughing and Pitch imagined her crying, but with joy instead of sadness. She sniffed.
"Oh boy, I'm sorry about that," she said. "It's just, I've been working so hard to help you and change all this that its kind of ganged up on me. Do you understand?"
"I do." Pitch said. "And I appreciate it immensely." he paused, thinking about her words from before. "Now that you've explained it, I realize just how much you've done."
Abby didn't respond.
"I was rather pathetic," Pitch admitted. "Before you came along. Spending my time moping and drowning in self-pity."
"Yeah." Abby said. "And that's why I wanted to help you so much."
Pitch couldn't help it. He laughed again.
"I know, I know." Abby said. "To you, I'm probably just an annoying kid who-"
"Abby," Pitch interrupted. "You're not. You helped me and, thought your methods are rather unorthodox, I am much better off than I was." he was honestly speaking the truth. Abby had helped and, despite how annoying she was, she was beginning to grow on him. Come to think of it, Abby had changed quite a lot as well compared to how she was when he'd first spoken to her. Then, she'd just been blatantly rude and teasing. Now, she was still teasing him and still driving him to distraction, but she was much kinder now.
"Yeah, I'm not gonna apologize for my methods." Abby said, going back to her normal tactless, honest tones. "but, hey, you know what they say; It's the means to an end."
"Yes, and your means were to ask me about my undergarments and call me Dr. Seuss, whoever that is."
"I thought you didn't remember that!" Abby gasped. She sounded embarrassed
Pitch smiled. "I don't have short-term memory-loss."
"Blah."
"Blah yourself!" Pitch shot back, still smiling. He couldn't believe how much he'd changed in such a short amount of time. A month ago, he wouldn't have dreamed of saying something as childish as 'Blah'. Now he said it without embarrassment or self consciousness at all.
"He he. I would've never imagined the big bad Boogeyman saying something as childish as 'blah'." Abby giggled.
"As you've said, I've changed." Pitch said, still smiling. "Now, may I finish watching the video?"
"Go ahead." Abby said. "I think you'll be happy with the outcome."
Pitch nodded and pressed play.
The video continued where it had left off. Abby was still trying to convince Tooth to forgive him. He watched as Tooth thought and thought. She kept silent for a while and Pitch assumed she was thinking about her positing. Whither to agree and forgive him, or to tell the Guardians and let things continue as they were. He watched as the other girls interjected their opinions. He found himself silently agreeing with Drago when she said that Tooth was her own being and that she wasn't just a Guardian.
"Abby," he said, pausing the video. "I want you to thank Star for me. And Drago and Fanty. Thank them all for me."
"I will. Now finish the video."
Pitch nodded and pressed play.
"There's no making up for the past," Abby said. Pitch thought she sounded tired again. "But there is a chance to save the future. Take that chance, Tooth."
Pitch felt a blossoming joy inside his chest and he smiled. He hadn't realized until now, but Abby had truly saved him. She had saved him and now she was trying to save his future. He would never be able to pay her back for this.
Suddenly Pitch sat bolt upright in his seat, staring with wide eyes at the screen. It showed Toothiana looking up at the open sky where the moon was glowing down on them.
"See, this part confused me." Abby said. "I assume MiM was talking to her, but I couldn't hear it."
The smile fell of Pitch's face and a scowl grew as he recognized the voice that Abby could not hear. It was MiM, the man in the moon. Tsar Lunar.
MANNY! Tooth exclaimed.
No need to shout my dear. MiM said gently.
What are you doing? Tooth asked. Her voice was nervous and confused.
Helping my children. MiM said.
Pitch scowled. "Yes, by telling her how utterly awful I am and how to never-"
"Will you shut it!" Abby said. It's almost over, and this is the important part!"
Manny, I don't know what to do! Tooth said. Actually, it wasn't like speech, Pitch realized. It was more like thinking. He always spoke to MiM like any human would, but Apparently Toothiana and the other Guardians had psychic links with the moon. I've just been told- she began, but MiM interrupted her.
I have heard. He said. I have heard and I approve of the young girl's plan.
Y- you do?
"You do?" Pitch asked, the scowl dropping off of his face. Could it be true? Could Manny actually be saying-
Of course. Pitch heard MiM laughing. It made him shiver, not with fear- that was impossible, but with a strange uncomfortable vibration that went along his whole body. If a fifteen year old human can make the Boogeyman admit his feelings, then I believe that you, with her help, can bring together the Boogeyman and the Guardians for a final alliance that will last until the end of the world.
Pitch saw Tooth sigh. But Manny, how can I go against the Guardians? They are my friends, my family.
Pitch sighed. He knew that it was going to come to this. Tooth wasn't going to-
Even family goes against each other when the sides are right and wrong. Manny said gently. Toothiana, I'm not going to make this decision for you. That is your choice alone, but I will say that the young girl, Drago, is right. You are your own person and you must learn to make decisions without the others. Do you understand?
Tooth closed her eyes and slowly nodded.
Thank you Toothiana. Manny said. Then a cloud drifted over the moon and he was gone.
The video ended. The screen went black. Pitch leaned back against his couch, staring at the screen.
He stared and stared for the longest time.
"Pitch?" Abby asked.
Pitch didn't reply.
"Great. Now I've shocked him. Wonderful."
Pitch still didn't reply.
"DANCE! DANCE UH UH! BOOGEYWONDERLAAAAAAAAND!"
"OK OK, I'm back!" Pitch yelled, covering his ears to block out that BLASTED song! "Just stop singing!"
"OK." Abby said, smiling. "So, what do you think?"
Pitch smiled. "What do I think?" he repeated. "What do I think?"
Abby didn't respond.
"I think that you, Abby, might be the strangest, oddest, weirdest, most tactless most insensitive human I have ever met." Pitch replied.
"Hey-!"
"But I also think that you are the most kind, selfless, polite, courteous, independent human I have met." he said.
Abby tried to interrupt again but Pitch interrupted her again. "And I know that you are theone human I would ever consider my friend. And I do. You are my friend."
Abby fell completely silent. Pitch couldn't see her and he couldn't hear her, but he imagined she was staring at the screen with a slack-jawed look like she couldn't believe what she as hearing. Good. It was time for her to know how that felt! After all those times he'd given that look to her when Abby had said something outrageous, he deserved to watch Abby do the same thing.
"Wow." Abby said after a long while. "Could you wait just a minute? I wanna get that in writing."
"There we go. There's the Abby I know." Pitch said, smiling proudly. He felt so happy right now. Happier than he ever remembered feeling before. It felt wonderful having a friend again. Or maybe this was his first real friend ever.
Abby laughed. "Pitch, this might just be the weirdest friendship on earth. Waaaay weirder than the dolphin and the cat video."
Pitch didn't even want to know.
"And you care?" he asked.
"Nope. Not at all." Abby said. "Now the next step is to meet you in person."
Pitch nodded. "And that'll be difficult in itself, since the cavern has the magical block. You can't come in and I can't come out." he frowned. "Speaking of which, Do you know why Tooth asked if I was still stuck in my caves?"
Abby didn't answer for a bit, then Pitch heard a click and she said, "I do now. I just checked my inbox and it says that I have a message from someone called Mistress Memories."
Pitch blinked. "Really?"
"Yeah. I know, that's the best she could come up with?" Abby laughed. "Anyway, it says. . . Uh oh."
Pitch sat up. "What? What uh oh?"
"It says she's coming down to your caves and to expect her in half an hour."
Pitch blanched. "When?"
"Half an hour."
"No!" Pitch said frantically. "When did Tooth send the message?!"
"Um. . . twenty minutes ago." Abby said.
"ABBY!"