Disclaimer:
Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
Morgan Locklear owns every a-ha album ever released.
Warning:
Please be aware that this chapter contains moments of brutal violence.
Chapter Fourteen:
Moonlight
Jean-Paul Sophia opened his eyes. He was in a small dark space that smelled like burned wood and sour sweat. He could feel that his hands and legs were bound and he had something stuffed into his mouth. He frantically worked the foreign object outward with his tongue and spat it out onto the scratched silver surface he sat on, coughing loudly. The right side of his head throbbed with every beat of his heart. The intensity of the pain had woken him up.
A door opened and he was suddenly washed in oppressive light. When his eyes adjusted, he saw that he was in a cupboard of some kind at one end of a small attic room. A square window on the wall opposite framed the twilight treated Eiffel Tower. A large figure ominously stepped in front of it, regrettably blocking his view of the only recognizable object in sight.
The man now standing before Jean-Paul was massive and had long straight black hair.
"You're awake," he said flatly as he bent down to collect and then stuff the rag back into Jean-Paul's mouth, using enough force to make him gag. "I thought I hit you harder than that."
He reached up above the captive man and started pulling on a rope attached to a pulley. Jean-Paul began descending into a dark square shaft.
Jacob peered down at Edward's assailant, the silhouette mercifully hiding the grave look on his face. "You'll wish I had." His cold tone communicated a decisive finality.
Jean-Paul felt himself drop dozens of feet as he was slowly lowered into cooler air. The squeaking noise that accompanied him was a mocking reminder that this was not a dream. He remembered shooting the boy, the one who his wife dressed up so nice for every Sunday. Despite his confusion and fear, he remembered what he had done and took some satisfaction in the deed.
He could recall nothing that had taken place after that. He did not recognize Jacob, a byproduct of their brief but brutal introduction at the Cullen house, and now the bricks rising before his eyes looked like the steps to Hell. His heart sank as even they disappeared.
He was in near total blackness, the pinpoint of light above showering him with only the sound of his squeaky conveyance. Claustrophobia built up in him as the swift darkness stole his orientation. When a ghost of light finally rose up from below, he was relieved. He was glad that whatever fate awaited him was well lit.
He entered a washroom and now saw that he had been lowered in a steel dumbwaiter tub.
Someone was waiting for him. She was a beautiful woman, stunning even, and she was glaring at him. Here eyes were dangerous, all her of fury and hate were wholly focused on him.
John-Paul could hear voices behind the thick curtain that rested behind her. He knew it was the exit to the very elaborate bathing room and realized he would never see what was hidden on the other side. He watched in frozen and fascinated horror as the woman walked toward him extending a pale skeletal hand to his face. Her ice cold touch stunned him as she seized him by the jaw. She squeezed his bones to powder with as little effort as it took to close a book. His screams were exquisite and she waited until he was done before addressing him.
"You will pay for what you did in broken bones," she hissed and struck out at his delicate nose.
She had spoken those first words theatrically and with a fair amount of menace but she quickly lost her composure, screaming in pain and rage as she punched at his ribs and squeezed each of his ankles to ashes.
"How could you?" She cried. "He was innocent!" She swiftly climbed into the tub and was practically on top of him in an effort to get her face as close to his as she could.
"You killed him!" Bella grabbed his groin and twisted savagely.
The man's agonized screeches carried up the converted chimney to Jacob, who was trembling with grief for the friend he was sure had now been lost.
Twenty one hours later, Edward Cullen woke up.
He stirred at Bella's scent all around him. He briefly wondered why he did not remember his journey upstairs from the parlor and into his bedroom for the well deserved nap. The thought quickly left him as he attempted to focus on her scent once more. He knew he must be wrapped in the soft white bedspread she had left him in when they last saw each other.
As he inhaled once more, an enormous array of smells swelled into his head. The odors were instantly followed by an unusual number of sounds invading his ears. The sensory invasion was overwhelming but was effective in clearing the fog inside his mind.
He felt tremendous pain in his back and chest…Oh no.
Edward opened his eyes.
He was met with the recognizable view of Bella's bedroom ceiling as well as her face, her expression one of nervous anticipation. Jasper and Alice were also silently watching him as he struggled to remember how he had gotten to the theatre. Edward focused on his last memory before this moment and he was confronted with the vision of a shocking spray of blood exploding from his chest and soaking the sheet music on the piano in front of him.
He sat up quickly, reacting to the violent image.
"Be careful, love," Bella said, in an attempt to be reassuring. Edward was fascinated as he could hear every nuance of air escaping her slender throat. He could hear faint murmurs in his head as well, but the sound of Bella's crisp cool voice was memorizing. It was like he was hearing her for the first time. "You can sit but please don't try to stand yet. You will hurt yourself."
Edward nodded his head out of habit and looked down at himself. He was tucked between countless sheets that had been borrowed from Alice and when he sat up they fell off to expose his bare torso. Edward was startled by a large, scarred starburst of shiny pink flesh on his chest. He attempted in vain to brush the hideous thing off while also scrambling backwards away from it. His back hit the wall behind Bella's bed so hard that dust sprinkled down on everyone in the room and on the still rattling instruments in the pit behind him. The jolt brought Edward back from a state of reaction to one of contemplation.
He slowly brought his hand back to his chest and felt for his heartbeat.
There was none.
Edward panicked.
He started breathing in huge gulps of air and attempted to swing his legs from the bed, seeking an escape from this new and terrifying reality. Jasper stopped him from rising, with firm hands and a soft tone. "Please just stay seated and let us talk to you, Edward. You still have many things to hear."
Edward's senses were already overly stimulated and the last thing he wanted was more information to digest. He began to struggle even harder against Jasper's restraining hold and continued to take in harsh shocked breaths. Jasper gave Bella a look that said I told you so as he knelt down beside the bed, his eyes level with the wild newborn.
"Edward, you must calm yourself or you will hyperventilate."
"You don't even need to breathe at all," Alice said…not helpfully.
Jasper shot her a reproachful look that was not half as bad as the one Bella leveled at her. Both were instantly angry with Alice but the statement was surprisingly effective in getting Edward to stop fighting. He froze upon hearing it.
Edward looked at them all, one at a time, examining their faces and their body language. Jasper was the closest, kneeling beside him with a hand on his leg, his face showing determination to keeping everyone safe. Alice was the furthest away sitting at the foot of the bed, watching him with curiosity, as though she was trying to figure out what he would do next. When his eyes met Bella's she placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning forward so that her pendulum necklace was hanging loosely right in front of Edward's face.
His gaze locked on the necklace. It was spinning with restrained purpose and Edward saw it discreetly pause in front of each person in the room. He watched as the pendulum pointed toward Bella, then Alice, then Jasper and finally himself. Edward remembered seeing the necklace spin madly while at Notre Dame but now he understood with new eyes that it was actually ticking. It moved from one vampire to the next in the room.
All four of us.
He watched in stunned silence as the pendulum paused on him for a second time, then a third and then a fourth. Edward could see every detail on the dark metal pendulum. Unwilling to watch it pause on him yet again, he averted his eyes and began to study the ancient silver chain that held Bella's locket. The two necklaces were wrapped around each other but the simple heart rested peacefully between Bella's breasts while the half moon shaped blade never slowed.
Edward began to cry. He wept soundlessly but profoundly.
Bella, Jasper and Alice all sat on the bed with him, touching his back in solidarity if not confirmation. In that wicked moment Edward mourned the loss of his mother's sun lit breakfasts, the rush of blood to his face when he laughed and, indeed, the very waking world. His head was pounding as he struggled to adapt to his improved senses. His back and chest ached from the wounds he had suffered. And, for reasons he had yet to understand, his stomach was twisted into such painful knots that he wanted to curl into a fetal ball and pray for its merciful release.
Almost an hour passed while Edward slowly attempted to accept his death.
Bella still had not heard him speak and was becoming increasingly worried. She had assigned that one act as proof that Edward was going to be alright. Bella longed to hear his voice, no matter what he had to say, but refused to pressure him through this moment. She thought about his reluctance to become a vampire. Despite his love for her, Edward had been far from reaching a final decision and she had been content to give him the time he needed to do so. As she had kept vigil during his transformation, Bella had been convinced that she had done the right thing for him. She had told herself over and over that this option still gave him a choice. Now as the minutes of Edward's new life began to pass into hours, she prayed he would forgive her for what she had done.
They could see that he was in pain and they all knew too well what it felt like. But even his suffering was maddeningly silent.
Edward found it more and more difficult to process his own thoughts as his inner voice was muted by many other intrusions. Allowing himself to focus on the myriad of noises, he could hear what sounded like whispers in familiar voices as well as many different drones and rumblings that accosted him from all sides. The many bizarre mutterings in his mind as well as the ceaseless gurgles, spracks and spoinks he was hearing in the underground room was a blessed distraction from the rusty coils scraping the inside of his belly.
As intriguing as the sharp rise in his hearing was, Edward was also sickly aware of the contrasting silence in his own body. Where once a churning rhythm of activity flooded even his human ears, an eerie and silent void now mocked his vampire hearing.
He was dead.
He needn't breathe.
He needn't pump blood, but he did need…
Edward pushed the sickening thought out of his head even as another entered it.
Don't fight it, it will help with the pain.
"Don't fight it," Jasper said. "It will help with the pain."
Edward turned to him, watching him with awe. Had Jasper just read his mind? And what was he not supposed to fight?
You feel hungry. Don't you?
"You feel hungry. Don't you?" Bella spoke these words just as they were fading from Edward's mind.
Unable to comprehend what was happening, Edward tried to stand again but the three of them held him down.
No! You don't know how strong you are yet.
"No!" Jasper ordered. "You don't know how strong you are yet. You were turned with very powerful blood, just as Alice was, but I…
Also tried something
..think I may have enhanced the effects."
Edward could hear each of their thoughts and, even as Jasper spoke, he could pick up on mental first drafts of phrasings. He closed his mind and listened as the trio of vampires considered what to do next. Alice was just going to let Bella and Jasper handle the situation, admitting to herself that she tended to cause more harm than good. Jasper was deeply concerned with many medical terms Edward did not recognize.
When he listened to Bella's thoughts he realized she was in as much shock as he was and he found comfort in it.
Edward was feeling overwhelmed once again and Bella could see it. As she watched his agitation grow and grow, she became certain that the key to easing all tension rested with Edward's ability to vocalize his thoughts.
"Please say something, Edward," Bella pleaded, and the desperation in her voice betrayed the calm expression she was holding in place. She quickly tucked her pendulum behind her locket chain and straightened up and away from him. This movement allowed Edward room to swing his legs off the bed. Jasper gave Bella a cautioned look but Edward made no attempt to stand.
He realized that he indeed had said nothing since the moment he had first opened his new eyes. He struggled to choose which words to speak, which question to ask first. In the end, he spoke the first coherent sentence his crowded mind could send through his cool lips.
"What is that awful smell?"
What?
Piss.
Urine probably.
This time Edward was able to pick out each of their thoughts. Bella did not understand the question. Alice was blunt and started laughing wildly at the obvious conclusion. Jasper answered him immediately and directly.
"What you smell is urine. The world is soaking in it, I'm afraid. And it's the very worst part of becoming a vampire."
Bella was still confused. "I don't smell anything."
"It's nice to know that after three hundred years I'll get used to it," Alice said still laughing.
"I can hear your thoughts," Edward announced.
What?
What?
What?
"I can hear your thoughts," He answered their unspoken questions. Alice and Jasper's thoughts were simple and not unexpected.
Really?
That's amazing!
Bella's thought, however, finally jolted Edward into action.
I am so sorry my love. Please forgive me.
Edward stood up slowly, unsure what this altered body was capable of. The sheets fell away from his naked form. He took Bella's hand gently in his and looked her in the eye while Alice openly admired his backside. Jasper quietly tugged on Alice's arm and gestured for her to lead the way to her shop. He wanted to give Edward and Bella a few moments of privacy. Once they had disappeared into the tunnel, Edward spoke.
"I don't blame you, Bella," he whispered. He glanced down at his chest before continuing. "Whatever you did it looks like you had to do it."
If he had been honest, Edward would have confessed that he still was unsure if he was able to live a vampire's existence but, in this moment, comforting Bella was another welcome distraction he dove into.
Bella sniffed once and then began to cry with relief. Edward pulled her into his arms and she held onto him tightly as she apologized over and over for what she had taken away from him. He responded to each of her apologies, stroking her hair and whispering that it was not her fault.
After several minutes, Jasper and Alice returned with a change of clothes for Edward. Hesitantly, Bella released him. As Edward turned towards Jasper and Alice to accept his new outfit, Bella could not stop a crooked smile from forming. She had observed Alice's downward gaze and saw the look on her friend's astonished face as she took in his glorious form. For once, Alice's brazenness was well timed.
"Get dressed please, Edward," Bella said. "We have something for you."
Edward was graceful as he donned his clothes. Every movement he made was fluid and elegant. As he sat back down on the bed to lace up his shoes, he could see that Jasper was still watching him closely. "I won't go through the roof," Edward said as he sped through the usually awkward task.
You don't know that.
Edward raised his eyebrows in response to Jasper's thoughts. Jasper opted to elaborate verbally.
"You are strong enough now to bring the whole building down with a few kicks Edward," he explained. "As a matter of fact, I am worried that you will stand up too fast and put your head through the stage."
Edward looked around at his new comrades - they were all on the balls of their feet. "You're joking," he said.
Please just be careful.
Sorry, no.
No.
For the second time Bella had used Edward's ability to communicate a thought as a way to send a direct message to him instead of issuing a reactive answer. She hoped this new and intimate way of speaking would bring them closer. She was eager to show him any positive side of this new world. Bella was not yet convinced that Edward had accepted his new reality.
His first feeding would tell all.
As a vampire, Bella had seen and heard enough to know that Edward's ability to hear her thoughts was an eventuality of their species. She was not the least bit jealous of what she assumed would be a very painful and bothersome existence for him.
Can you hear me Edward?
Edward looked up at Bella and met her eyes.
Do you understand what has happened to you?
Edward stood up, very slowly looking up at the ceiling like it was a snake, a question on the turn of his head.
Do you know who shot you?
"Shot me!" Edward's bellow made Jasper and Alice jump.
Once again, Edward's final human memory flooded his senses. He saw the spray of blood again but nothing fought back against the ocean of sights, smells and sounds in order to remember more. This time, he saw the sheet music that had been resting against the piano. It was Liebestraum. He tried to remember playing it but could not.
He reached underneath his shirt and put his hand on his chest felt the new baby skin, sensitive and smooth. "What happened to me?"
He instantly found new meaning in the poem that had inspired the haunting piece of music now splattered with his blood, yet somehow when he recalled the telling words he did so while thinking of the Moonlight Sonata.
O love, as long as you're able to love
O love, as long as you wish to love
For the hour will come, the hour will come
When you'll stand at the graveside and wail
Be certain that your heart's afire
And nourishes love and bears love
As long as yet another heart
Beats together with yours in love
And when he opens his heart to you
Do all you can to nurse his love
And fill each hour with joy for him
And make no hour bleak for him
And beware, tis wise to hold your tongue
How quickly an angry word is said
O God, I meant you no abuse
But the other flees, and tears are shed
O love, as long as you're able to love
O love, as long as you wish to love
For the hour will come, the hour will come
When you'll stand at the graveside and wail
Then, stricken, you kneel beside his tomb
And bury your eyes, beclouded, damp
- They'll see the other nevermore
In the long and dewy graveyard grass
And speak to me, look down on me
The one who weeps beside your grave
Forgive me, I have grieved you so
O God, I never meant you harm
He neither sees nor hears you now
Nor rises for your rapt embrace
The lips you so oft kissed can't say
I forgave you long ago
He forgave you long ago, indeed
Though many a hot tear streaked his face
O'er you and o'er your bitter words
Be still, he's home, he rests in peace
O love, as long as you're able to love
O love, as long as you wish to love
For the hour will come, the hour will come
When you'll stand at the graveside and wail
Edward was deeply disturbed by the images the composition conjured but was riled from his thoughts by the sound of someone coming in through the lobby door.
Jacob! Oh he'll be so relieved.
Jacob's back.
Jacob's blood would be interesting to sample.
Upon hearing Jacob's name, Edward flashed on another memory. He was being carried through the streets of Paris, his shoulder was hurt and Jacob was carrying him to the hospital.
No wait…
This memory was different. This time, he was dripping blood on the ground, leaving a macabre trail of their journey as Jacob ran with him. And there was another man, being dragged possibly? Both Edward and the stranger jostling as the sound of Jacob's feet pounded their progress.
"It was Jacob who really saved you, Edward. Not me," Bella told him as they heard Jacob walk over the stage above their heads.
"Maybe he should be the one to tell you about what happened," Alice offered with a touch to Edward's shoulder.
Jacob was consumed in thought as he slid the loveseat aside in Bella's dressing room and walked down the spiral steps into her apartment. Edward caught only pieces of it.
…She's not stupid and neither is her mother…
…even if he is dead…
…want an explanation…
…will have to make sure the Sophia widow…
Listening to Jacob worry about his family, Eward wondered just how long he had been unconscious. It was obvious that Jacob had been awake the whole time as his appearance was just as fragmented as his thoughts.
Jacob rounded the last of the steps and saw the four vampires standing in front of him. He was so relieved to see Edward awake that his knees nearly buckled. He steadied himself on the stair rail as he tried to notice all the changes in Edward's appearance.
He had been a handsome man as a human but now Edward commanded attention even next to Bella, who could stop hearts. His green eyes now showed a universe of light and depth that Jacob was fascinated with. His mouth, usually poised with a question, was now closed in confidence and he was standing with his legs a little further apart than Jacob had ever seen before.
"You saved my life," Edward said walking gracefully over to his friend and extending his hand. Jacob opened his mouth and sucked all the oxygen out of the room with a gasp of glee. He removed the remaining distance between them with one great stride and swept Edward up in an embrace reserved for brothers.
Jacob did not speak. He did not have to. He just held his friend like a lost child and Edward was swept away in the tsunami of emotion coming off of the man. He could not isolate specific thoughts, but he felt a powerful surge of feelings as they embraced.
Jacob had successfully convinced himself that what had happened to Edward was entirely his own fault. There were still going to be staggering ramifications but, for the moment, Jacob felt tremendous relief and all other concerns were temporarily forgotten.
"Be careful, Jacob. He has only been awake for a few minutes," Bella warned.
Bella began thinking about the man in the washroom. His captivity was nearing its end. Now connected to every one of his beloved's thoughts, Edward paused at this revelation.
"Who's in there?" Edward asked Bella as he separated from Jacob.
"Jesus, is he STILL alive?" Jacob asked, astonished at the willpower of his three vampire friends.
"Is who alive?" Edward asked, fear now creeping into his body.
The man who shot you.
Your killer.
A stupid jealous human.
I have a feeling Bella is about to show you.
"You have my murderer in there?" Edward did not wait for an answer. He walked into the washroom and he moved so quickly that the others, vampire or not, could barely even watch his progress. When he rushed through the curtains they flapped out so hard that one of them tore completely off its rings and landed on top of the stone bathtub's coned copper covering.
Jean-Paul was semiconscious but in a delirium of pain and suffering. He had long since assumed that he was dead and, was in fact, enjoying his second day in Hell. When he registered that it was Edward approaching him, he began to scream. It would not have been surprising to see the man he shot walking around in Hell, but the frightened look on the boy's face made the reality of the situation swim back into sharp focus for the doomed man.
Edward saw a flesh covered gargoyle. He was a tangle of knotted limbs and his eyes stood out like searchlights. His screams were little more than garbled groans because his face was so disfigured. Bella entered the room and stood next to Edward. When Jean-Paul saw her, he stopped screaming and obediently waited with his eyes closed, for something.
"What is he doing here?" Edward whispered in shock, his eyes riveted to the man.
"He's here for you." Bella said simply, turning to watch his reaction. "You have to feed soon."
Edward's face hardened and his shook his head in defiance. "No."
Edward backed up and out of the room. "I'm not killing him, Bella."
"He's already dead," she told him, following him back into the bedroom, "and when we went up to the Tower that first time, you said yourself that you would only kill criminals."
"Who is he?" Edward may have recognized Mr. Sophia under normal circumstances but the man had been beaten so terribly, he did not see any traits he knew.
Bella was about to tell Edward the man's identity was irrelevant but she was interrupted.
"Jean-Paul Sophia." Jacob answered.
"Judith's father?" Edward was dumbstruck. "Why would he…?"
And suddenly, before he could finish asking the question, Edward knew. All the pretty dresses, all the flirting - Jean-Paul had jumped to a very wrong conclusion and killed Edward because of it.
He thought about his family once again and wondered what they were going through at that moment. He thought about how this senseless, random event had destroyed their peaceful lives forever.
Edward was instantly filled with rage.
He began to feel a power stretch inside him. His senses sharpened and focused on only one thing, the sound of Jean-Paul Sophia's beating heart. Edward wondered how he could have missed it before - it was the loudest thing in the room. He was captivated by its drumming rhythm as he contemplated his next decision. Bella glided to his side and placed her arm around Edward's waist. Her touch was soothing and he pulled her closer, still entranced by the beating heart in the next room, feeling his resolve begin to waver.
He was suddenly distracted by a new kind of pounding. It was a fist hammering at the theatre's lobby door upstairs. John-Paul Sophia's fate was on hold once more.
Edward knew the pattern of that knock very well but before he could announce who it was, they all heard Rosalie calling Jacob's name. Her voice was distraught, angry, frightened. Edward had never heard Rosalie so distressed. And the fiend in the next room was to blame for it.
"What do we do?" Edward asked.
Jacob was already on his way upstairs and Edward wondered why no one else made a move to join him.
"We can't go up there. It's still daylight." Bella explained.
Despite the agony in his sister's voice, Edward was grateful for the reprieve. What would happen to his family? Would he ever see them again? And if he could, how would he explain what had happened to him? Was it even safe for them to be around him? There were too many questions in this moment and too many emotions to work through. It was more than he could conquer on his first day of eternity.
"I don't want to," Edward readily admitted. "I still don't know what to think of all this, Bella. I mean am I dead? I'm really dead aren't I? And…what?...Reanimated? I mean…. I know I thought about it when I met you but Bella….My heart…."
He could not finish, a wave of panic swept over him again and he fought the urge to run somewhere, anywhere. Instead, he tightened his hold on Bella while she rubbed soothing circles on his chest. Her touch was all that mattered to him in that moment. It was everything and he longed to be alone with her.
Bella was actually smiling a little; Edward's ramblings reminded her of the way he spoke when they first met. He was not likely to trip over her furniture anymore but she recognized that he was still the same excitable, slightly nervous, wonder filled man he was when she carried him home the night before last.
Jasper had observed Edward's every move since he rose from the bed and wanted to reassure the newest member of his kind. "You are alive, Edward," Jasper told him with conviction. "I can feel it in you. Anyone can see it in you. Your body moves energy differently that's all. You are able to think and speak and therefore you are alive." Jasper approached Edward and coaxed him away from Bella's embrace before walking him toward the washroom. "Your body will heal completely after you feed on human blood. You must feed, Edward."
Edward stopped and spun on Jasper in a wink of movement. "Why can't I drink vampire blood from your cellar?" Edward almost pleaded.
"You can," Jasper admitted. "I brought some with me, in fact. A little surprise for Bella, and I'm sure she would even let you drink from it if you'd like. But human blood has to be introduced into the vampire body soon. Vampire blood will only pacify a fresh vampire like you. Human blood has something our bodies need so instinctively, you will crave it like nothing before. It's why your stomach hurts." As Jasper explained everything to Edward, he walked over to Bella's large bookshelf and retrieved his black bag. He looked directly at Edward before rummaging in it. "It will only get worse the longer you wait." Jasper spoke with certainty.
He sifted through his belongings, cursing the silence. He was hoping to distract Edward from the heated conversation taking place upstairs on the street. Jasper knew that it would be naïve to think that Edward was not paying attention to the muted voices filtering through the theatre. Not only was Edward listening, he was even catching wisps of thought, mostly from his sister. Very little about the conversation made sense to him, but he could tell that it was quite a stand off. Edward had also determined that Jacob was charged with turning anyone away, even Edward's family. No matter what the cost.
When Jasper produced a bottle filled with thick dark liquid, Edward could smell the blood through the cork. He could also smell Bella's hair, and Alice's and Jasper's for that matter. He could smell the paper in the books lining the wall, the morter and bricks in the pillars, fresh paint and, of course, urine.
Edward had been resisting the influx of sensations that bombarded his senses from the time he woke up as a vampire. All at once, for no reason at all, he let his guard down and allowed his natural instincts free reign.
All around him the world shouted. The vocal rumblings above them, Jean-Paul's heartbeat, and countless drones and thuds combined with his own habitual breathing and that was only the beginning. Alice was also humming something lily sweet and Bella was wrapped in worry about his well being, her thoughts stabbing in at regular intervals.
Then there was Jasper, who was cataloguing his weapons and trying to figure out which one would make a good gift for Edward. His confidence that Edward would need a weapon made the soaring agony in Edward's guts double. He did not think he would make it through the night as a vampire.
His own thoughts were bystanders in the carnival of information he was forced to process, so he made the wise decision to focus his attention on the present conversation and the ritualistic quality of what Jasper looked like he was preparing.
Jasper called Alice and Bella over to the bed and they all sat down leaving plenty of room for Edward. Jasper handed the bottle to Bella with a smirk. She looked down at it and gasped.
"Why didn't you say something?" she asked. Edward could not tell if she was joking or really angry.
"Like I said, I wanted it to be a surprise," Jasper reminded her, "and hopefully a celebration."
Bella looked over at Edward. "It is," she said and handed the bottle to him. Edward took the bottle and looked down at the cork. He thought it would mean something to him, but when he saw the name Felix scratched on it he shrugged his shoulders and looked at the group.
"I'll tell you later." Bella said with a nudge and he pulled the cork out. The smell hit him like a hurricane and he drank deeply before he could stop himself. It was very cold and very delicious - he was not expecting that. He passed the bottle back to Bella, who looked for a moment like she was going to pass it right over to Jasper. Instead, she took a long pull from the vessel, her throat working as she swallowed the memories.
Edward was swaying back and forth, quite giddy from the drink as Jasper and Alice shared the last of the bottle between them. He could still hear his sister bellowing at Jacob and felt bad for the beating his loyal friend was taking. Despite this, Edward was euphoric and therefore quite positive that everything would work out fine. Although his tracking of the vocal duel upstairs was upstaged by multiple audio intrusions, he could hear Jasper, Alice and Bella thinking about what they heard and was able to piece together an unpleasant exchange between the two lovers.
"I can hear a low rumbling noise," Edward said in a far away voice. "Does anyone know what that is?"
That's the river my lovely.
The river.
The Seine.
"Oh, yes," he said before anyone could respond to his question with words. "It's loud."
"And it's over a mile away," Alice said. "Just wait until you hear the ocean."
"I can hear it now," Jasper said.
"So can I," Bella added.
Alice squeezed her eyes shut and strained her hearing.
"What does it sound like?" Edward asked.
"It's more like you feel it really," Bella explained. "It's a deep rumbling roar that is so low you have to really listen for it."
Edward was confused. "But you said that was the river."
"The River sounds softer, like silk on silk," Jasper described. "It's a little higher in pitch and louder too."
"Oh yes, I hear that," Edward said, he knew the sound Jasper was describing, but to him it sounded like wind. It was indeed louder than the ocean, but that low rumbling seemed to anchor his world and made his feet buzz as if its dense fury was just below them.
"I don't hear it," Alice pouted. "I usually don't until I get to Rouen."
Edward felt like he was in the grip of a powerful drug as the four of them sat on the bed. The cool blood he drank glided through him and was complimented by the newly revealed sound of the Seine rushing by.
"I feel funny," Edward said like a child.
Jasper stood up, as Jacob quietly and somberly came back down the stairs. "You will feel very powerful for now Edward," he said, "but remember, by tomorrow morning the hunger will be back and it will be agonizing."
Jacob looked exhausted, like he had just fought a war. Bella walked over and hugged him. She whispered in his ear but did not pretend that everyone else in the room wasn't listening.
"You'll get her back, Jacob. I won't let this cost you happiness."
Jacob nodded his head but did not look convinced.
After the sun went down, Jasper and Alice left through the tunnel that connected Bella's apartment with Alice's. Jasper had been told about it the night Edward was knocked out with James's newly liberated head and Jacob, of course, knew about it from the first week he was in Paris. Edward was fascinated by the tunnel so he and Bella walked with them to Alice's shop while Jacob went up to his room.
Edward walked through the cavern turning his head from side to side. He could hear noises on the bustling street above them but refused to go outside when Jasper asked him to.
He was scared that he would run into someone he knew and that they would detect his difference. Jasper understood his concern and pointed out that each of them did not have to deal with the problems Edward faced. Alice was in a new city. Bella had lost everyone due to the plague. And Jasper had ran away to fight a war. Edward was not so fortunate. He had friends and family members to consider.
They all stood in Alice's bedroom while she readied herself for a night out with Jasper. Edward asked more questions.
"Did you bite me, Bella?"
"I fed you my blood but I didn't need to bite you."
"I don't understand. I thought that's how vampires were made?" Edward looked to Jasper who, despite being over a century younger than Bella, seemed to be the resident expert on vampirism.
"Becoming a vampire is a matter if ingesting our blood Edward," Jasper explained. "You were already bled out so all we had to do was introduce vampire blood to your body and hope that it wasn't too late."
"Too late for what?" Edward asked.
Alice answered this time, "You were very close to death and we didn't know it if would turn you or not. Usually a bite and a bloodletting will lead to a human death. That can be controlled or even prolonged to make the death part of the transformation."
They all left the dress shop a few minutes later and, as Edward walked the other couple to the door, moonlight spilled onto his shoes. He was surprised to see several colors dancing within the reflected light, reminding him of a kaleidoscope. It was a thousand shades of delicate white dressed with pale yellow and purple. It did not swirl or shimmer, it almost bounded up and down as if the light itself was excited to be there.
He and Bella returned to her apartment through the damp passage and they spoke for a while, curled up in her bed, but Edward was tired. He had only been awake for a few hours but felt like he had been sprinting the whole time. He also felt a twinge of pain creep back into his stomach and was keen to sleep through more of that unpleasantness.
Bella wanted to bathe him but would not engage in something to intimate and sensual while Jean-Paul was still in the washroom. One way or another she resolved to get rid of him in the morning and she knew just how to do it. Edward would want to bite the man but would stubbornly resist as well.
She had a plan to solve both their problems.
Edward and Bella slept together in the vault beneath her bed, waking up around noon. As soon as Edward opened his eyes, he was in agony. His stomach was now a nest of squirming reptiles and when he lifted the bed frame off of them the renewed sound of Jean-Paul's heartbeat made him salivate.
The inviting sound was like discovering a waterfall in the desert.
"It's time, Edward. Please." Bella encouraged Edward as she rose with him. She briefly wrapped her arms around his aching stomach, her silk cream nightgown settling into his bare back. He was wearing sleeping pants that Alice had made for him. They slipped down a little while he walked towards the washroom and he had to hold them up with one hand. Edward was still resisting, and praying that Jasper would return soon with another bottle from his cellar. He could surely hold out until then, yet with each step he took toward the washroom, he felt his self-control evaporating. As he passed the circular staircase, he grabbed the railing with his free hand and flung himself upstairs in an effort to distance himself from the temptation calling to him, in perfect time no less, from the other room.
Edward kept his eyes focused upward, not wanting to accidentally catch a glimpse of the wretched man through the curtain he had torn and damaged the day before. Bella patiently followed him up to the stage where he stood looking at the twin lines of bright sunlight winking beneath the thick auditorium doors. The lobby was obviously off limits. The front doors to the theatre were glass and flooded the lobby with bright warmth.
Edward longed for the sun while instinctually recoiling from it.
"Just don't get too close," Bella instructed. "One day, Jacob walked in and half of the room lit up."
"Oh." Edward felt like he was watching a sleeping monster that had not seen him yet.
"It will be gone in another hour when the sun moves a little more," she added, seeing his concern. "This time of day is when the light starts to move off of the doors, but we still can't go in there until well after sunset."
"I miss it already," Edward said, resenting the struggle inside him.
"I do to," Bella whispered, her voice full of sadness, "but not as much as I would have missed you."
Edward turned to face her. He had something to tell her and it was imperative she understood exactly how he felt. He placed his hands on her shoulders and brought his forehead to hers. He did not speak until her gaze locked firmly with his eyes.
"Bella, I will never blame you for what you did." Edward kissed her lips briefly, the connection sweet and strong. "What that man did to me had nothing to do with anything supernatural. Don't you see? If I hadn't met you and Jacob, this would have happened anyway. If it hadn't attended your show, if you hadn't selected me from the audience, I would be truly dead. You have given me love and now life."
She hugged him tightly, in awe of his words. "When Jacob brought you here, I thought you were dead." She pulled back and pointed down to the spot on the stage between them. "Right here."
Edward could see that the stage had been freshly painted, the black surface dry but dusty. When Edward backed into the wall the day before in an effort to escape his scar, his effort had shaken the entire building. The still drying paint on the stage had collected dust particles that drifted down from the rafters in the main auditorium.
"Jacob ran in and put you down right where we're standing," Bella recalled.
Edward took a few steps back and looked down. "That makes it twice now that I compromised your stage, Bella," he joked.
"In as many weeks," she added.
They laughed quietly together until a twist in Edward's insides threatened to make him cry out in pain. Bella begged him with her eyes and he attempted to divert his focus to his other senses. Since he had come up from the underground room, the level of noises and thoughts intruding on him was maddening, every person walking by outside was an avalanche of scuffed steps and mumbled musings. Each horse was a storm cloud clapping his ears with thunder. The pain in his stomach sharpened his ears and the world was turned up so loud that Edward did not hear himself screaming until Bella shook him back into focus. Her patience had reached its limit. She could no longer stand to let Edward deprive himself of what his body needed most.
"We're going downstairs right now," she commanded while leading him by the hand.
Edward did not resist. He was now too weak to stand on principle, especially if it meant an end to his torture.
As they entered the washroom, they discovered that Jean-Paul was unconscious and Bella thought that it was for the best even though it gave the scoundrel a merciful ending. Edward quickly chose a spot on the man's neck that he would love to sink his teeth into. He knew he was starving now and yet it was not enough. His human tendencies still had some hold over his mind. Edward looked down at the pitiful captive and knew that he just could not kill, no matter what pain he would endure as a result.
"I can't do it, Bella," he said with a certainty that surprised even him.
Bella nodded and dropped Edward's hand. She walked over to Jean-Paul, took his throat in her delicate hand and drove her thumb into his soft flesh, causing a great gush of blood to gurgle out. Bella stepped back, fully anticipating what would happen next.
Edward was upon the man even before his eyes opened.
Edward was horrified at how delicious he found the warm torrent of blood flooding his throat. It was so much better than the vampire blood Jasper had given him but he had to fight to urge to vomit even as he savored the thick fluid. Edward considered that he would be able to stop himself, but then he heard Jean-Paul's last thought.
Thank you.
Those two words allowed him to ease the suffering soul into the next world.
When the man was drained, Edward stood back, blood dripping from his mouth and onto his chest. He watched as his new scar shrank down to nothing. From behind him, Bella watched as the fist sized pucker on his back dwindled and smoothed over like it was made from soft beach sand.
Edward felt raw power course through his arms and legs but also felt a conflict inside his mind spring to life. There was no denying it now. He was a killer and he could not escape that.
Edward turned and walked out of the room, fast.
It will get easier and easier as time goes by, he heard Bella think and he spun on her.
"I don't WANT it to get any easier!" He screamed, his guilt now consuming him.
It wasn't that he had murdered the man. It wasn't that he did it by drinking the victim's blood until his life simply ran out. It wasn't even that he enjoyed it. It was the fact that he wanted to do it again and that he didn't care who he killed in order to enjoy that taste of warm, fresh blood that made him explode with blind panic and wild fright.
He fled upstairs so fast that Bella did not even have time to call his name.
When she followed him up, she saw her worst nightmare.
Edward was already halfway up the aisle, running as fast as possible toward the sun framed door separating them from the bright lobby.
Bella took off and flew but she could tell that she was not going to make it. Although she was gaining ground, passing several rows of chairs with every stride he took, Edward was just too far ahead and too fast to catch.
Bella could only hope to collide with him just as he pushed open the door.
Edward knew Bella was chasing him as he closed in on the lobby door and he heard her thoughts as she attempted to stop him.
If we can't live together then we'll die together.
They both continued to speed towards the sun's mortal embrace.
Notes:
I am very excited to announce that there will be a Twitter hosted read along of Bella Voce on Sunday, May 23nd beginning at 5pm US EST time. You can join in by searching for #readalong and following that thread. The event is hosted by our good friend (at)Raizie7. Following her would also be a bonus.
Many thanks to Christine who found an English translation of the poem that appeared in this chapter, O lieb, so lang du lieben kannst! by Ferdinand Freiligrath. It made a wonderful addition to the narrative.
If you are interested in Bella Voce merchandise AND want to help support the Fandom Gives Back fundraiser for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation, please visit the myt_spot(dot)com website. To make things easier, I have placed the link on my author's page. The work done on my behalf by (at)m81170 and (at)justduckie1 is exemplary and I thank them sincerely.
I want to recommend a new story available on FanFiction called Voice For Me by PachasPickMeUp. It is a story about a hearing impaired Bella and is co-authored by sisters who have been raised by deaf parents. Their narrative teaches the reader a great deal about Bella's culture. As someone is who legally blind and understands what it is like to be physically disabled, I have connected to this tale.
I am back on my regular update schedule so Chapter Fifteen will post next Saturday.
MOG