Title: Personality
Author: Jammeke
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Personality
Colonel Caldwell was sure he'd fallen asleep on the job. This was something to be ashamed of, of course, but it was the only logical explanation for what was happening. Well, it was either that, or Earth had been taken over by aliens and they were trying to obtain informarion from him by sending him chain mail. This possibility alone was a good reason not to answer the questions. No, there was just no way that the people he worked with every day had invested their time in a message such as this.
Of course, knowing that the mail had come from Novak, and knowing that the good woman had likely received the mail from someone on Atlantis, there was another explanation too, namely that Lt. Colonel Sheppard was behind all this. To be honest, Steven had to confess this explanation seemed a lot more reasonable, but it was just as stupid nonetheless. He'd always known that Sheppard was too immature to be the military commander of Atlantis, and this mail did an excellent job at proving his point once again.
Still, a part of Caldwell had come to like the cocky pilot. Tempting though it might be to ask the younger Colonel for clarification, Steven knew the mail wasn't a threat to anyone, and much as he disliked spam such as this, he couldn't blame Sheppard for trying to cheer his people up. It was obvious things on Atlantis didn't go the way Caldwell would have them go, but he'd accepted this a long time ago.
Besides, the Colonel knew that demanding Sheppard be fired because of a mail was out of the question. For one, he couldn't prove the message was Sheppard's, and there was also the fact that you didn't get kicked out of the Air Force for sending people spam. No, the Colonel knew he had no valid arguments to back up his statement. And if he was completely honest with himself, he didn't even want Sheppard to get fired anymore. One year ago, it had been the number one thing on his wish list, but since then, he'd come to better understand Sheppard's actions and motives, and he suspected he might just start respecting the pilot any day now.
For a moment, Steven considered deleting the message, after which he could pretend he'd never received the mail in the first place. But a small voice in the back of his head firmly decided against it. Who knew how many people this mail had been sent to already, and why should Caldwell be the one to break with tradition? That would be low; even for him. He'd send the damn mail to someone else, and the whole situation would be over with.
Pleased with his decision, Caldwell copied Novak's text into a new message. He didn't bother to read her answers before he deleted them. With a little luck, he'd be done before lunchtime.
What is your name?
Colonel Steven Caldwell
Where are you?
I am in my office.
What are you wearing?
My uniform.
Eye color
Brown
Hair color
… Cute
Relatives
No
Is there someone with you?
No
Type your name with your elbow
Not a chance.
Type your name with your foot
My answer stands.
Chocolate or vanilla?
Vanilla
Have you ever jumped out of a plane?
Yes, I have.
Movie
The Godfather
TV-show
The X-files
Song
Like a soldier - Johnny Cash
What do you do for a living?
I blow up space ships.
What were you doing before you opened this?
I was going over a classified report.
Coffee or tea?
Coffee
What did you have for breakfast?
French toast
Favorite color
Blue
What are you listening to right now?
I'm not listening to anything at the moment.
Winter or summer?
Winter
Last thing you ate?
French toast
Do you smoke?
No
Which country would you like to visit?
Ireland
Favorite place
My command chair when we take off into space. The view is simply amazing.
What do you want to be when you are an adult?
Funny
Do you like thunderstorms?
I can honestly say I've never considered this question, and I'm not about to start now.
Biggest fear
To get compromised.
Do you swear?
Occasionally
Have you ever climbed a mountain?
I have.
Attracted to
No comment.
What would you do if you only had one day left?
I would visit an old friend of mine, and tell him I'm sorry we never got to overcome our disagreement.
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?
That would be General Landry, and I told him it felt good to be back on Earth.
Can you sing?
I don't think you'd care.
Can you dance?
No
Hot chocolate or coffee?
Coffee
Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?
No
Favorite candy
Nougat
Are you a health freak?
I try to keep in shape, yes.
First thing you notice in another person
Their compliance.
Whose shoes would you like to stand in?
I don't think it comes as a surprise that the answer to this question is Lt. Colonel Colonel Sheppard.
Batman or Superman?
Batman
Money or happiness
I don't believe in either of them.
Do you believe in God?
Yes
The stupidest thing you've ever done
I have made a lot of mistakes, most notably getting possessed by a Goa'uld.
Would you like to get married?
I once did, but my opinion on the matter's changed.
Do you have a pet?
No
Biggest ambition
At this very moment, to wipe out every single Wraith in the Pegasus Galaxy. Ask me again in a few weeks, when I've had the chance to let the Wraith's betrayal sink in.
Best friend
Steve Morrison.
Last body part you injured
My knee.
Favorite book
The hobbit
Are you afraid of the dentist?
I can assure you I'm not.
Do you find these questions dumb?
I do.
Have you showered recently?
What if I said no? I have; by the way, I'm just trying to figure out why anyone would want to know.
Do you like to camp?
I used to.
Crush on
No comment.
Who are you going to send this list to?
General O'Neill, because he's the only person I can think of who'd appreciate a mail like this.
Anything to add?
Nothing comes to mind.