A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it's been a few days since I posted, but here is a nice (sort of?) chapter with heaps of Maddy/Bucky cuteness. So enjoy!
~O~
The nightmares still haunted Bucky. He would still wake, throat raw from screaming and his sheets a mess, sometimes ripped to shreds. He would see the faces of his victims, the ones who had begged for mercy, the ones who had fought back and lost anyway. Sometimes their faces would be replaced with the faces of the people he loved; Maddy, his sister Rebecca…Steve. One of his worst nightmares, which was more of a distorted memory, was of him, on the hellicarrier, punching Steve over and over again. Except in his nightmare he wouldn't stop. He'd keep going until Steve was no more than a bloody corpse. And then he'd realise what he had done, who Steve was, and he'd scream and cry and beg Steve not to be dead. He hated that nightmare, because it was so close to becoming the truth.
But gradually, the nightmares began to fade. They went from nearly every night, to only a couple times a week. And when they did come he'd knock on Maddy's door and she'd kiss him till he forgot all about them and all he could remember was his own name because it was being gasped from her lips. They never went further than kissing though, even on the nights when they both wanted to, when they were rutting against each other and pulling at each others clothes. He wasn't quite sure why they always stopped, but it was generally Maddy that broke away and pushed at his chest, so he wouldn't question it. He didn't mind anyway - he'd go as slow or as fast as she wanted.
"Bambi," he said one day, as they were lying in her bed, his beautiful girl snuggled right up in his arms, her ear pressed against his bare chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat.
"Mmm," she hummed back, smiling a little. She liked it when he called her that and he had taken to doing it more often. When her dad did it, it was annoying and weird (especially now, when it had been gasped in her ear by a man that was kissing her neck), but when Bucky did it, it made her feel warm and safe.
"That man you were with…that night, back when we weren't talking…" he trailed off as she tensed in his arms. That night, the night Maddy had hooked up with Luke, the night Bucky had realised he was in love with her, had been over a month ago and he hadn't brought it up, not even once.
Why was he bringing it up now? Had he really been dwelling on it all this time and hadn't mentioned it?
She looked up at him, resting her chin on her hand and voicing her concerns. "Why're you bringing that up now?"
Bucky gulped, jealousy racing through him at the memory of the other man's arm around Maddy's waist. He half shrugged. "Who was he?"
"No one important," Maddy immediately replied. "Just some guy I'd met at Ellie's party. He was dickhead anyway, had a thing with Ellie's friend Allison that I didn't know about." He shifted a little and she sat up, crossing her legs.
"Did you sleep with him?" Bucky knew he didn't really have a right to ask and he really, really didn't want Maddy to be angry at him, but he needed to know.
She sighed. "I didn't have sex with him," she said. "I-…Some stuff happened, but I was so worried about you and…I don't know. I just didn't want to."
Bucky's jaw was clenched. Some stuff happened? What the hell did that mean? "Did he touch you?"
"Bucky," Maddy groaned, climbing to straddle his hips. "Stop dwelling on it. If he did," she leaned down, feathering her lips over his own. "I don't remember what it felt like."
In one swift movement, Bucky flipped her and had her pinned beneath his weight, his hands threading through hers and pinning them above her head as a gasp escaped her lips. He kissed her, with such a ferocity that she thought she might get swallowed up by it. His tongue fought its way into her mouth and his grip on her hands tightened, although he made sure to always keep his metal hand a little looser.
"You're mine," he growled against her mouth, kissing down her throat and sucking a bruise on her neck, nuzzling the dog tags on her chest that she never took off.
"Yes," she breathed out and he covered her mouth with his once more. She would never tire of kissing him, never tire of the way her body reacted to his, laid atop of her. She had kissed plenty of guys, but never had she felt like this, like her body was on fire with every touch, like his mouth was the oxygen she needed so desperately to live. She never wanted anyone else, the thought of any other male's hands on her body made her sick. She only wanted her Soldier, her precious Bucky. But still, despite a large part of her wanting him with a desperate ferocity, a part of her hesitated. "Bucky stop," she gasped out. He immediately stilled, pulling away from her neck, his grip on her hands loosening enough for her to slip her palms away from his and rest them on his chest.
He was panting, his pupils blown wide with lust. "Why?" He questioned and she knew he did not mean it cruelly, knew he did not mean to pressure her. She knew he would cut off one of his own limbs before touching her in a way she did not want. He was simply curious and it was a fair enough question, but for some reason it still made her nervous. She squirmed beneath him and closed her eyes. She was not a frigid girl, actually quite the opposite. She was affectionate and outgoing and had lost her virginity without any hesitation in high school, to the football captain that all the girls were chasing, but who only had eyes for her. She'd had boyfriends and hook ups and even a couple of 'friend with benefits' arrangements. And she had never felt with them what she felt with Bucky. Not even close. What she felt for Bucky was a tidal wave, sweeping her up and drowning her, stealing the air from her lungs and making her whole body shiver. In the past, she had only felt splashes, a puddle that seemed endless at the time but now that she had a taste of the tsunami, every other experience suddenly felt horribly underwhelming, finite.
But every time she thought about him kissing down her body, taking off her clothes…something tightened in her chest, something she was beginning to recognise as panic, squeezing her heart and making it beat faster.
She slipped out from underneath him, standing beside the bed and wrapping her arms around herself.
Bucky sat on the edge of the bed. "Maddy.." His eyes were wide with regret, but he didn't apologise. They weren't supposed to apologise to each other.
"It's ok," she immediately said, even though she didn't feel ok.
Worry and remorse were pressing on Bucky's heart. He hadn't meant to startle her or make her feel forced to do something she didn't want to and as he took in her shaking form, her eyes wide and doe like, he realised that was exactly what he had done. He had had his choice taken away from him so many times, for so many years. The last thing he wanted to do was take away someone else's choice, especially someone he cared about as much as Maddy. "I didn't mean to pressure you. I would never want to do that….Please don't be mad."
"I'm not mad," she assured him, although her eyes were brimming with tears. "I just-…I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to be with you. I know I do. But every time I think about it my chest tightens and it's like I can't breathe and I don't know why." You do know why, you just won't admit it to yourself, a voice in her head countered. Shut up! Shut up! she screamed back at it, shutting it down immediately.
"Bambi I don't care. If you don't want to then that's fine. We won't. Not until you're sure," he pressed and opened his arms. She hesitated only for a second before walking straight into them, pressing her cheek against his chest.
Her voice was muffled. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
He closed his eyes and hoped that she'd never have to know.
~O~
It was Friday (aka Maddy's favourite day) and Bucky had caught her going to work that morning and asked her if she had any plans that night. When she had told him she didn't he'd asked, ever so sweet and almost bashful, if she wanted to go out with him, on a proper, real date. She had hastily agreed and been even more giddy than usual at work all day. Ellie had come over to help her pick out an outfit, although she made a continuous string of snide comments about Bucky, who she still did not like.
"He looks like a murderer. A hot murderer, but a murderer nonetheless," Ellie quipped as she curled Maddy's hair.
"Ellie!" Maddy's eyes widened at her friend. "He is not a murderer! You're horrid."
"I'll burn you if you keep squirming," Ellie threatened, gripping the curling wand in her hand. Maddy rolled her eyes. Empty threats.
When Bucky knocked at Maddy's door at exactly 7 o'clock, Ellie pulled it open, simply raising a perfect eyebrow at him and thinking it would be so much easier to hate him if he wasn't wearing a long sleeved, button up shirt and a really nice pair of trousers that made him look annoyingly hot.
His eyebrows drew down in confusion when he saw Ellie, but then Maddy appeared behind her, looking every bit like the angel she was, and Bucky could not take his eyes off of her.
"Hey," she smiled at him and kissed Ellie's cheek.
"Be home at a reasonable hour will you?" Ellie requested.
"Yes mum," Maddy grinned back. "Are you just going to watch Netflix till I get back?"
"You bet your pretty ass I am. I still haven't finished the new season of Orange Is The New Black," Ellie said and Maddy laughed. Bucky held out his hand for her and she slipped her hand into his, threading their fingers together as his eyes still travelled up and down her long legs and over her pretty, white lace dress. "You better not bring her home drunk," Ellie shot at Bucky, her stare turning venomous as soon as it landed on him.
He glared at Ellie and pulled Maddy close to him. "Bye El. I love you," Maddy blew her best friend a kiss, ignoring the clear animosity between Bucky and the golden haired girl. Ellie closed the door and Bucky kissed Maddy's cheek sweetly.
"Hello handsome," she grinned, slipping her arms around his neck.
"Hey there Bambi," he said, clutching her hips through the thin material of her dress and somehow the way he said that nickname of hers was better than any compliment he could ever give her.
"Where are we going tonight?" She questioned, eager and excited and maybe a tiny bit nervous too. It was a relatively new feeling for her. She had been on plenty of dates before and usually her date was the one that was anxious.
He leaned close and whispered in her ear. "Somewhere beautiful," he mimicked Maddy's words from when they had gone hiking, what seemed like forever ago. He took her hand and led her down the steps. Bucky took her to a nice, quiet restaurant, with pretty, twinkly fairy lights and a rose in a vase in the middle of the table. She could not stop smiling for the life of her. They ordered and Bucky was telling her a story about his (still nameless) best friend.
"…This guy was like three times bigger than my friend and he was punching the crap out of him and so I ran forward to help my friend. Anyway, turns out the other guy was actually the brother of a girl I was going steady with at the time-"
"Going steady with?" Maddy broke out into a fit of giggles. "Seriously?"
Bucky blushed with embarrassment and looked down. "You know what I mean.."
She leaned forward, hooking her pinky finger around his. "Is that what we are?" She asked cheekily. "Goin' steady?"
He grinned, looking down at their linked fingers. "Yeah," he agreed quietly. "I hope so."
The waiter was heading toward them with their food as Maddy said, "I'd like that."
They ate and it was delicious and then Bucky took her to a small bar with some live music and they got some drinks before he spun her around and danced with her. Maddy loved dancing with him. He was confident and relaxed when he danced, dipping her low and placing a searing kiss on her lips.
It wasn't too late when they arrived back at the building, but it wasn't particularly early either. She frowned at the stairs, glaring at them half heartedly. "Damn creepy Harold and his aversion to elevators."
Bucky gave her a mischievous look and before she knew what was happening he'd picked her up and thrown her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"Bucky Barnes!" She screeched, as her dress flew up, her head hanging upside down as her nicely curled hair flung around. "Put me down!"
He only laughed at her, beginning to make his way up the stairs with ease, as though she weighed nothing more than a baby bird. "Why would I do that when I've got such a nice view?" He questioned, looking at her exposed underwear, however he did reach up and pull her skirt back down to cover her properly.
She smacked him on his ass, hard, but it only made him laugh harder and she was laughing too, even though the blood was rushing to her head. When he reached their level he eased her down to the ground, pushing her now messy hair out of her face. They were both beaming at each other, high on their happiness and maybe a little tipsy from the shots Maddy forced them to do at the bar. (Ok, maybe only Maddy was a little tipsy because she took most of Bucky's shots for him but either way..)
She reached up and grabbed his long hair, tugging it a little. She bit her bottom lip before swooping up to kiss him, quickly but passionately. When she pulled back, his eyes were brimming with something that she might call love.
"I want this to be forever," she said quietly. "You and me. I want it to be us. Always."
His smile stayed in place, but it turned a little sad. He let out a breath through his nose. "…I can't promise you that Maddy," he said, because he could not and would not lie to her anymore than he absolutely had to. He couldn't promise her that he'd always get to be with her because he knew that, sooner or later (and God did he hope it was later), something would seperate them and take him away. Her face dropped a little and he cupped her cheek, tracing his thumb over her lips. "But I can promise you that I won't ever stop feeling this way about you. That I won't ever stop wanting you. Only you."
Her lips parted and she gently bit his thumb between her teeth before he traced it lower, pulling her bottom lip down. Not being able to resist any longer, he leaned down and kissed her. It was all tongues and passion and grasping hands. Bucky was 100% positive he could kiss her for the rest of his life and love every single second of it.
"I should go," she murmured against his mouth. He nodded in agreement, but didn't stop kissing her and only held her tighter against him. She laughed against him and began to pull away. He finally let her, although held onto her hand. One handed, she unlocked and opened her door. He could faintly hear Ellie's show playing in the background.
"Will you go on another date with me?" He queried. She smiled.
"I'd go on a thousand dates with you," she was confident, sure of herself. Bucky definitely shared her sentiment on the dates part. "See you 'round Bucky," she said, just like she had the first few times they met. He smiled softly and she disappeared into the apartment, finally breaking their hands apart.
"Bye Maddy," he murmured, after the door was long-since closed and he could hear Maddy talking to Ellie excitedly.
He turned and walked into his apartment.
~O~
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed it!
If you guys could leave a REVIEW that would mean the world to me.
Still debating posting that Deleted Scenes chapter. Thoughts?
Thanks, love you all, until next time xx