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-IHADSWORNTOMYSELFTHATIWASCONTENTWITHLONELINESS
Hoshi: The Robins achieve their much sought-after goal.
Warning: Het, slash, femslash, crack. The Robins are OOC as all get out, and I might have given up on making everyone else IC. And a TON of Fire Emblem: Awakening spoilers! Beat that game first if you care about spoilers! THE REASON IS HERE! No harem for you. ChrombinX2. The Robins are jerks. How Chrom got included in the Robins' final smash. Your author notes take up half a page, Hoshi! Who do you think you are? Your creator?!
-BECAUSENONEOFITWASEVERWORTHTHERISK
"I can't believe you two…" Chrom shook his head as he unpacked his belongings in the room he now shared with his tacticians. "This drawn-up plan looks ridiculous." He said as he picked up the paper that started it all. "And yet, I can't say I'm surprised that it actually worked…"
"You think you would expect us to concoct elaborate ruses by now." Marc chuckled as he took the paper from Chrom. He then put it in a gold frame and put it above the label, 'Genius Master Plan 1413' on the wall.
"But isn't playing with other people's emotions going too far?" Chrom asked as he put a tiny wooden sculpture of Robin on his nightstand. "You didn't need to make them actually fall in love with you, right? Or summon Grima so many times."
"Love is a powerful, but easily exploitable thing, Chrom." Robin explained. "You'd be surprised at what things people would do for the sake of it. I mean, just look at us…." She gestured to Chrom. The fact that he was even here said it all. "So yes, it was necessary, and while it was tiring, it went by fairly quickly. There's no need to get jealous."
Chrom narrowed his eyes and made a low noise of disgust.
"You two were never like this back in Ylisse…" He said.
"I guess Grima's influence hasn't quite left us after all." Marc shrugged.
"No, even with Grima's influence, you two weren't this…strangely personality warped…" Chrom cocked his head. "I would hope your control over Grima is under lock and key. Because if it isn't…" He looked away, not wanting to think about the implications.
'As if you could do anything about that, you arrogant mortal.' Said a dark voice in the tactician's heads.
'I will not let you touch Chrom.' Said tens of other voices in the tactician's heads.
"I guess our Plegian roots are finally coming to light." Robin chirped, ignoring all of the voices.
"If you two would stop blaming your upbringing and take responsibility for your actions, then that'd be great." Chrom gave them an unimpressed look.
"But Chroooom…" the Robins whined. "We did all of it for you."
"Oh, so you're blaming me for your misdeeds now?" Chrom crossed his arms. "That's real charming."
"Well, I still think you're just letting your jealousy get the best of you." Marc pouted.
"Jealousy?" Chrom blushed. "Yeah, I don't know why anyone would be upset when someone they love marries a frog, dates a robot, hits on anything that moves, kisses alternate forms of themselves, and makes a game out of other people's feelings!"
"Look, we broke up with and divorced all of them, Chrom." Robin threw up her hands in the air. "We were being very honest, so I don't know what else you want us to do about this!"
"And besides, you're the only one we've wanted the whole time." Marc admitted.
"Well, I wouldn't mind it if Lucina joined in too…" Robin confessed quietly.
"What?" Chrom asked.
"What?" Robin echoed.
"A-anyway," Marc quickly changed the subject, "since you're here now as our official Final Smash instead of what we used to do, we have no reason to continue our skirt-chasing and harassment. It's put to an end completely, Chrom. No worries."
"I should be governing and rebuilding Ylisse instead of staying here…" Chrom shifted his leg uncomfortably.
"Well, think of this as a vacation, then." Robin chirped.
"And don't even try to tell us this isn't exciting for you." Marc smirked. "I saw how psyched you were when the Hero King decided he liked you more than the Radiant Hero."
"I-! Well…" Chrom flustered. "I mean, he was the real Hero King! Not an einherjar or a ghost or Lucina crossdressing! How could I not get a little starry-eyed?"
The Robins just gave him this look, making him blush harder.
"I think we can all agree that this room is better than when they stuck you in the Assist Trophy storage." Robin said.
"This room is a lot more spacious…" Chrom glanced around the room.
"To make you an assist trophy after denying you access to the roster…" Marc's eyes glowed purple. "And then to put you in some tiny storage room while they were at it. It makes me want to hurt them all over again."
"I thought you two said you would quit that…" Chrom narrowed his eyes.
"It's still frustrating!" Robin frowned. "We couldn't even come visit you because you were considered an item, and smashers weren't allowed to touch items outside of battle! That hurt Lucina too, you know. The fact that she couldn't even talk to you…"
"Well…" Chrom looked down. "Okay, I guess I do appreciate that I'm part of your Final Smash now since I actually get to talk with you guys and everything."
"So glad you understand, Chro-!" Marc was immediately interrupted.
"I still don't approve of your methods." Chrom said. "But, at least this way, I can…more consistently…" He blushed. "I'm glad that I can help protect you in battle."
The Robins stared at him, hearts racing a million miles a minute.
"You're both still crazy for making this much of a fuss to get me he—mmph."
Marc shut him up with a surprisingly gentle kiss. It was an unexpectedly pleasant change from their usual hurried ones back in Ylisse when they couldn't let anyone see them. As they separated, Robin placed a hand under the Exalt's chin and turned him towards her.
"Me too." She insisted, leaning in before he could protest.
Marc licked his lips absentmindedly as he watched. Robin never really held back in moments like this. She didn't need to. Now that everyone in Smash Bros knew Chrom was theirs, there wasn't any reason for him to hold back either. And they were all in the privacy of their room…
"You know, we really did do a lot to get Chrom here…" Marc started.
"You're right." Robin grinned, catching on. "I think we deserve a little reward for our efforts."
Chrom backed away slowly as their gazes took on a feral glint.
"I'm pretty tired after unpacking everythi-!" He tried to protest. Unfortunately, Robin was positioned behind him as Marc shoved him down on the bed. Once the Exalt's back was against the sheets, Robin pinned his wrists down and effectively trapped him. Marc leaned forward, sliding a leg in between Chrom's as the Ylissean lord shuddered.
"THIS IS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY GAME!" yelled a voice outside their room, making Marc snap back up as Robin let Chrom go. "I mean, you guys had a match scheduled like three minutes ago! Get on stage already."
"Tch." Marc glared at the door.
"We'll continue this later." Robin grabbed her tomes as they exited out.
Chrom awkwardly got up from his position on the bed and followed them to the transport hall, breathing a sigh of relief.
.-.-.-.-.
As for the rest of the smashers!
Mario and Peach got back together after the Robins explained their weird plan. Peach was fairly upset about Robin lying, but at least she could always count on Mario to be by her side. It was good for Mario too since Peach spent more time with him instead of pining after Robin.
Bowser was teaching Bowser Jr. about the perils of love and romance. Bowser Jr. was too young to really care about that, so he didn't pay attention.
Rosalina went back to caring for her luma and finally forgave Kirby and Meta Knight for Chrom II's pain. It wasn't their fault, anyway. She swore to get rightful revenge on Marc, but seeing Marc continue to visit the lumas along with the man that Chrom II was named after… She couldn't bring herself to hate him. She just didn't like him as much anymore.
Dr. Mario was swamped with work on injured smashers everywhere, and received a much deserved vacation at the end of the month. He stayed at Luigi's mansion. Luigi had to go save him.
Yoshi would help Robin gather fruit when Marc came by to visit the baby Yoshi. And he came by to visit a lot. Seriously, Marc, don't you have anything better to do?
Wario lost all the money that came with the marriage because Chrom disapproved of the Robins doing thievery, so they had to return it all. Wario decided to steal all the money back. He is currently in jail, but Waluigi will probably break him out or something.
Zelda was disappointed that her muscle goddess lied about loving her, but found comfort in Sheik's arms. The two were now married. Then again, this could be Sheik's daydream…
Link solemnly swore never to fall for a girl that couldn't even crossdress convincingly ever again. Unfortunately, that meant he kind of sort of liked Lucina. Even worse, Chrom and the Robins were going to make his life hell because of it.
Toon Link still traveled the seas every now and again with Marc and sometimes Chrom. He solemnly decided that he was too young to really care about love. That, and the Robins were kind of old for him anyway. Gross.
Ganondorf reconciled things with DeDeDe, and the King of Dreamland joined the ranks of Evil Royalty United. Their first order of business was to pay off the Robins' accumulated debt and apologize to Smashville's citizens for organizing the attack on their town in the first place. The Villagers showed that there was no harm done as they offered the other smashers some of their resources. The world would fear the power of Animal Crossing joined with evil aristocrats.
Kirby got all the cakes he wanted since Marc never neglected to spoil him, and Meta Knight got a lot of good matches with Robin, who never turned down a fight.
Pikachu and Jigglypuff often got cupcakes from Marc when he came to visit. Greninja swore off her voodoo and black magic and became a ninja again. Charizard decided she was never going to fall for a fellgod dragon again. The bad boy types sucked. Lucario resolved to trust his aura and instincts more, never second-guessing. This turns out to be a terrible decision when he meets Mewtwo later.
Fox renewed his determination at never being into humans, and Falco always knew there was something up with the Robins. Even so, the Robins still joined the two pilots on their flights into the sky. So long as they didn't go into space.
The Robins could go into space with the Samuses, though. Mii Gunner also joined in sometimes when Samus would blow up a planet. Zero Suit Samus would usually stay with Marc in the starship, though.
Ness would still play baseball with the Robins every now and again. Smash Bros had certainly changed a lot, but he could see that that wasn't really a bad thing. He could admit that he was even glad it happened.
Diddy Kong worked on new inventions with Marc every now and again. The Samuses still didn't understand why the male tactician was so fascinated with bamboo technology.
Little Mac had a few bouts with Robin in the ring sometimes because Robin never turned down a fight, and sometimes DK would fight too. Apparently, DK could box too or something.
Captain Falcon got along well with Chrom since the announcement trailer for Robin and Lucina was just acting, and it wasn't like Chrom actually got hurt. Even so, the Robins and surprisingly, Lucina, never let it go…
Olimar was happy that he didn't have to explain his short affair with the Robins to his wife, and Alph was glad he didn't have to marry people he barely knew. Marc still visited Chrom III the pikmin and helped protect them from large predators.
Palutena was on a journey to find someone who could hurt her just as much as Robin did. Pit quickly pulled her back to the Smash Bros living quarters, reasoning that she could still find someone among the smashers. Dark Pit decided they were all fools.
Marth and Ike got along well with Chrom and accepted him into their weird blue-haired lords thing they had going on. The Robins decided that they were fine with Marth liking Chrom because Marth was the Hero King, and Chrom and Lucina really liked him, but they would not let Ike near Chrom. Marth still hates Ike. Chrom wishes they could just get along because why did nearly everyone in his franchise hate the Radiant Hero anyway? Sheesh, at least his daughter was respectful. He raised her right.
Wii Fit Trainer still taught classes the Mii fighters attended with Robin as her assistant. Wii Fit Trainer (Female, I am not) still tried to teach Marc how to exercise properly. Marc is still weak.
Robin buried Duck Hunt Dog. He is still trying to get out.
Marc often talks with Mr. Game and Watch, R.O.B., and Pac-man about what it was like back then when gaming used to be simpler. Their histories fascinate him and bore Robin to tears.
Megaman got his systems checked out by Marc every now and again. Robin still gets bored whenever they get into huge technological conversations.
And Shulk…well, Shulk saw all of it coming.
That cheater.
But there was one thing that worried him.
What was he going to do if Melia and or Fiora found out?
Okay, two things.
The second was that future where this place was bathed in flames and destruction. Chrom was here, so the future should've changed, right? But that sight he saw…it stayed the same.
Did that mean this wasn't over?
-BUTYOUARETHEONLYEXCEPTION
Hoshi: So, I guess I oughta explain myself. Originally, this fic was supposed to be titled: "How Chrom Became Robin's Final Smash," and honestly, that's still this fic's real title in a sense. I decided not to title it that way because the story tended to get very off-track and very elaborate to the point where there were virtually very few vague hints to Chrom being their goal, and no one really knew why the Robins wanted a huge harem of smashers. Well, no one except the Robins and myself… And I felt that mystery would be more interesting to keep.
Hoshi: But yeah, no huge EveryoneXRobin ending. Just a Chrombin threesome. Like I had intended from the start.
Hoshi: And well, I'm not making a jab at polygamous relationships small scale or large scale or anything in between. If everyone loves, respects, and trusts each other, then I can see no reason why that relationship, polygamous or otherwise, wouldn't work out. The thing is, polygamous relationships are difficult because there are so many people, and honestly, it's not for everyone. It takes a lot of patience and trust and understanding from everyone in the relationship, and not everyone in the world has that.
Hoshi: The Robins never wanted a polygamous relationship in the first place, though. They just wanted Chrom. This whole fic was about how far the Robins would go to have Chrom near them again. And it's not like Chrom doesn't love them just as much…
Hoshi: So, are we clear? This is all I'm going to say on the subject. I'm tired of worrying about the longest fic I have ever written. I am done.
Hoshi: Oh wait, there is actually going to be another short bonus chapter. I'm going to prove that the Robins didn't do anything 18 and over in this family friendly game even though I somehow accidentally worded a lot of things suggestively…