i did not revise this, so I apologize for the mistakes I'm sure will be there! okay bye.
title: i'm coming home
summary: Sasuke, his departure and everything in between.
day fourteen: his side of the story
It's been two years since he's last seen her, he's not counting, just stating, really.
He likes to pretend that he doesn't miss her, that she means absolutely nothing to him, but he knows damn well that he'd be a liar. And a liar is something he's never once been, because he remembers her well, he remembers everything he shouldn't remember. He remembers the feel of her soft skin when she hugs him tightly, the wonder and complete adoration in her too green eyes. He remembers the way she always smiled for him, the way she would wait for his recovery.
The flowers she'd leave for him when he was in the hospital, the apple slices, and her patience. But the thing he remembers vividly is the one thing that made him feel a little more whole; her unconditional love.
He remembers all of it with an almost painful memory, because she's done nothing but haunt him ever since he left her. Haunt him with her sweet words, and her confession that meant more than he could ever tell her it did, the tears he can still see falling down her cheeks,
It haunts him, all of it, especially the way he left her on a cold bench, never once looking back.
That was two years ago, he muses, but remember, he's not counting, just stating.
He's looking down at her, feigning indifference, but inside he's nothing short of a hellstorm.
Looking at her now, he notes that she's not much different from the girl who haunts his dreams, the girl he left behind. The only difference he can actually point out is that fact that this girl looks older, wiser, nothing like the naïve girl from that day.
He realizes that he wants to reach out to her, tell her that now she's welcome to join him, because he's stronger, and he can defeat his brother, and he can protect her.
He can do it all, she just has to say yes.
He searches her green eyes, and there he sees everything he needs to see, she's slightly shocked, but underneath that he can see it clearly; the undeniable proof that the confession she gave him two years ago meant something. There in those green eyes of hers he sees nothing but love, love she's never denied him, swirling in them.
He takes a small step towards her, but before he can even jump down to her, the dobe runs in, and all hell breaks loose.
They try to fight him, bring him home like they had promised him they would, and he'd want that, if he didn't have other priorities. And as far as he's concerned, right now, Uchiha Itachi's death is his only priority, that's the only thing he wants; to kill him
She moves to attack him, protect her teammates, and bring him home, too. It takes everything to calm his ragging heart, startled at the fact that she'd actually do something like that; attack him. He makes no move to defend himself from her, to attack her like he's been taught, because he doesn't want to hurt her ─he can't hurt her anymore than he already has.
He's promised himself that.
So, he ends things quickly, without causing them any fatal damage, leaving with his brand new teacher. He masks every single feeling in his heart with his usual mask of indifference, the last thing he needs is these people knowing they, she, mean something to him.
He'll see her, and them, again, someday, he'll make sure of it himself.
His brother is dead.
A goal he'd strived for throughout his whole life finally completed, but for one reason, or another, he muses looking down at him, he's not sure how he's supposed to feel. This, this was years upon years of training and suffering, and never looking back.
The single goal that had been present in his mind since that night, and he finally accomplished it, but even then, he realizes, it doesn't feel as amazing, and as liberating as he wanted it to feel. Looking down at his brother, who's no longer moving, who's not breathing, not alive, he suddenly feels completely and utterly empty.
It startles him, because for Itachi he's felt nothing but rage, and hatred, because this man's death is the only thing he wanted in his life. But now, he can't even properly say he's content with this outcome, because he's not, he realizes, he's just not.
His mind thinks back to the words she spoke to him in private once, "Sasuke-kun, I don't think revenge will bring you happiness, I don't it it's ever brought anyone happiness, much less peace."
His eyes move upwards towards the sky, once more before his gaze drops back down to his brother. He can almost laugh bitterly, because damn it, she was right about this, about everything. He falls forward on to his knees, before he lays next to his dead brother, because right now, he's not happy, he's not sure what he is. In fact, he's not anything, he's just there, moving and breathing, but none of this is properly registering in his brain correctly.
What is he supposed to do now that he has no goal to pursue, no one to hate?
What's to become of him now that he's killed his own brother?
His dark eyes move towards the sky and he notes that if he listens very carefully, he can hear her soft voice telling him, "I told you so, didn't I?"
And with nothing but bitterness, he realizes that, yeah, she sure did.
He wants to hate her, hate her right along with that pathetic excuse of a village he once called home.
However, having her right here, standing in front of him, looking ready and determined to leave with him, so willing to join him like she would've when they were younger, he just can't hate her. He can't hate the only person who's done nothing but good things for him, someone who filled that void in his heart, the one person who truly made him feel whole.
How's he supposed to hate someone who's that important to him?
The sane part of him, somewhere deep inside what's left of his heart, wants to bring her with him and never let her out of his sight, but one look into those too-green eyes and he sees it; she's not here to befriend him, nor join him, she's here to end this. When she doesn't complete the small task of getting rid of his no-longer needed teammate and instead tries to hurt him, he makes sure to not let her know how much her betrayal has affected him. Instead, he settles for giving her exactly what she had planned to give to him.
He ignores everything that he thought of this girl, ignores the feelings she evokes within him, he even ignores the faint voice in the back of his head that's pleading with him, telling him that he can't do this, that he's supposed to protect her.
It chants over and over that she's important, far too important.
But she betrayed him, she who he never thought would do such a thing to him. There is nothing but rage now, only revenge present in his mind, so he'll ignore all those pleading voices. Right now, there's no such thing as forgiveness in his mind or his heart, and she, she who is important, tried to kill him so he'll go ahead and try to kill her. After all, if she went so far then it's obvious to him that it means that she no longer cares for him like she used to.
So why on earth should he care?
So with no hesitation, he allows his chakra to flow to his palm, and his chidori springs to life. He's decided that he'll drive it right through her pretty heart, because she's nothing but a liar, and she never truly gave her heart to him, so he'll just take it by force instead, right?
His sharingan spins and he watches as his hand closes in on her, and his own heart, he notes, is beating rapidly against his ribcage. The voice is growing louder and louder, and it becomes difficult to pretend it's not even there. It makes him want to draw his hand back, but he can't, she tried to kill him first, she can't be forgiven.
So he continues until a hand shoots out of nowhere and grips his wrist, and suddenly he's sent flying, far, far away from the pretty girl who promised him her heart, but never truly meant it, the pretty girl he cares about, but was never able to tell her so.
He ignores the relief that washes over his body when Kakashi steps in and saves her.
He's back home, although he's not positive he can even call it that anymore.
There is a new clarity in his mind, and he's found a new goal and he has a brand new resolve, one that he'll see through to the end. Everyone is here, but the most important thing is that she's here, and she looks just like he remembers her. She's wearing the standard Konoha uniform and she's healing the dobe but her eyes are glued to his own, and he can't fathom why he even left her to begin with.
Or why he tried to kill her, she's important, his mind repeats over and over, that's why.
He wonders if she'll take his apology, even if it's years upon years too late, he wonders if she'll still say she loves him. He wonders if she still holds what happened back in Iron against him, just like he used to hold it against her.
He expects her to be harsh, to question his motives and her trust to him. He expects her eyes to tell him that she feels nothing but a strong sense of hate for him, that she wants nothing more than to see him looked up like the criminal he is.
Instead, she surprised him and says his name in a way that's familiar, and it makes him wonder why he every left at all.
They start back up and he casts a sidelong glance, with a new-found determination he decides that he'll protect her to the ends of the earth.
Every single inch of his body aches, but it's alright now, because the war is finally over and they've won, and everything is finally okay.
She's healing Naruto at the moment, and from where he's standing, he can hear her scolding him inside the dobe's tent, telling him he's the most reckless dumbass she's ever met. He wants to talk to her, he wants to be certain of her feelings, he wants to hear the absolute truth from her, he wants her to look him in the eye and tell him exactly how she feels.
So he waits for her, and when she exits Naruto's tent he moves quickly towards her, gripping her shoulder and pulling her into a secluded section of the camp.
For a small second he takes her in, just as he's always done, and it hits him, once more, that he must have been stupid to have left her behind. His grip on her arm tightens slightly, because he fears that allowing her to move around with give her the chance to break free and leave him.
He refuses to have that anymore.
All he needs now is her reassurance, all he needs now is for her to whisper those sweet words she once said to him. He'll take anything, so long as she'll give him the chance to redeem himself, he swears it, he'll do things right this time, he won't screw it up.
He gives her a whispered apology, but it's sincere, and he hopes that it'll be enough for her. His eyes move from the ground to her, and he feels his heart speed up when he finds that she isn't frowning, instead she's looking up at him with those beautiful too-green eyes, and her lips are in that smile that he's only ever seen directed at him.
So without hesitating, he takes her small hand in his, and hopes that she knows what he means.
He pulls her in, breathing her in like she's the air itself, and this, Sasuke reasons, this is what he had waited for. This is what he had searched for, someone who had something like this for him, and she, she'd always had this, she's never once lost this feeling for him.
So he whispers in her ear that this time around, he'll give it his all, just for her, because she's different and because she's Sakura, and she matters.
Three words, that's all she gives him, and it lifts the weight off his shoulders, and instead of giving her a response that isn't himself, he'll give her a rare smile that he's decided will on be for her, and he presses his forehead against hers, "Aa."
And this, this is a long time coming, and now, he can finally say he's home.