Women In Blue

Chapter 14

As the days went by, cases rolled in and the one six precinct was busier than ever. Amanda had gotten more comfortable around the squad and everybody around her and she thanked Liv for that. She was constantly there, giving her compliments and reassurance to boost her self confidence and self esteem.

Amanda had confidence, quite a bit of it actually. Growing up she always had to fend for herself and her sister. Her mother's boyfriends constantly came and went, drinking, doing drugs, having sex. Everyday was more or less the same, like a routine that was on a loop that no one could stop. A circle that Amanda quickly came to understand as an evil circle. She couldn't remember a time when she had seen her mother sober or drug free. It was always one or the other before depression kicked in and she would barely leave the bed.

After Kim was diagnosed with schizophrenia more prolems evolved because of it. Amanda had always been the knight in shining armour to bail her out or somehow get her out from whatever kind of trouble she was in. What happened with Patton had been the last straw. Never again would she come to her sister's aid. She was done with that. No matter how hard it was, to get up and leave everything behind, she had done it for her own sanity and mental health. Things were not suddenly gonna get better by themselves so leaving was the only option even though the guilt was eating her from the inside out.

It was after everything that had happened with Patton that caused her to lose a part of herself and she didn't know if she would ever get it back. Her confidence had been shaken and it would need time and effort to build it back up again, back to where it was before she became broken and pathetic in her own eyes.

"Lunch?" her partner interrupted her thoughts and her eyes focused on the striking brunette standing next to her, holding out Amanda's jacket, gentlemanly.

"Sure. Thank you, mi'lady!" the blonde stood as Olivia helped with the coat. "It's on me this time, detective." she said with a smile. As they left the precinct Nick gave them a glare and snorted to himself. He didn't like Amanda, he knew that for sure. In hs mind he knew that he was jealous of her but he would never admit it out loud. He use to be Olivia's partner nefore Amanda had stepped in to take his place and for that he resented her and wanted her gone. Another part of him wanted to rip jer clothes off and have her way with her. He had always had a sore spot for blondes and his attraction towards Amanda made him even more angry and miserable. He swallowed deeply and his fists tightened as he felt the anger well up.

"You okay, Amaro?" captain Craigen asked and raised his eyebrows in a questionable manner, already knowing the answer but wanted to hear it for himself.

"Yeah, all good cap." he responded with a plastered fake smile.

Craigen nodded. "Okay, then why don't you finish off the paperwork for the Carter case. I'm waiting on it."

Brown eyes lingered as he watched his captain enter his office, feeling frustration boiling under his skin. I'm better than this, he thought and slumped down on his chair with a sigh, hating Amanda's guts even more.

After finishing up his papers he headed out for a late lunch and a beer. Drinking on the job was of course strictly prohibited but Nick knew he would get away with it. One or two beers wouldn't make any difference to him what so ever. He was alone, nobody who knew him was around so why not take advantage of the situation? As he opened the door out of the precinct he felt himself bump into something, or rather someone.

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Please accept my apology." a thick southern accent rang out, instantly reminding him of Rollins.

"No worries." Nick muttered and looked up to see who he had collided with in the first place. A man in his late forties, hair that started to become grey by his temples and his suit spoke of money and prestige.

He spotted Nick's badge and gun and smiled. "Detective, ugh! A fellow officer of brother's in blue. Tell me, you don't happen to know an Amanda Rollins, do you?" his twang was strong and heavy.

"Um, yeah I do." Nick sighed and couldn't help but to sound annoyed and irritated by just the name itself. "And you are?" he felt his hand being shook in a firm handshake by the stranger in front of him.

"Deputy Chief Charles Patton, Atlanta Police Department. Nice to meet you...?"

"Nick, Nick Amaro."

Patton immediately picked up on Nick's resigned but also stand offish behaviour when Amanda had been mentioned. "Oh, is she causing trouble here too, detective?" he said while laughing. "I tell ya, she was a handfull back home in Atlanta. Got into all sorts of shenanigans and not to mention her promiscuous manners. If I had a dollar for each time she came onto me and my fellow officers we would all have retired by now." he laughed again and placed a hand on Nick's shoulder. "You heading out for a late lunch?"

"Um, yeah. I was." Nick replied, feeling some soft of 'brother's in blue brotherhood' for this man.

"Would you mind if I tag along? I'm famished after my flight here and could do with a proper New York steak and a couple of beers. My treat of course?"

Nick didn't think twice before accepting his offer. "Sure. That would be great. I know just the place."

As they ate their medium rare steaks and gulping down their second beer, Nick's curiosity got the better of him and he couldn't help but want to know more about the newest member of their squad. "So Rollins, ugh! Tell me what went down with her? She caused trouble and had to leave?"

Patton wiped the corner of his mouth, sighed and sat back in his chair. "You could say that. She got herself into a situation with me that was inappropriate, things didn't turn out the way she wanted them to and she tried to turn it all on me. You know how it goes, detective?" the smug older man grinned.

Nick snorted and bobbed his head up and down. "I sure do. I've met women like that before. All they want is attention and money."

"Exactly!" Patton almost shouted and raised his glass. "Cheers to that, my friend."

They continued to chat and decided to have one more beer before Nick finally had to go back to the station. "Why don't I take your number and we can catch up later on, let's say, tomorrow evening?" Patton inquired. "I'm here for the conference on friday so I'd thought I'd might as well take the week off and see some sights, if you know what I mean?" he smirked, chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows in a seductive manner.

"Sure. We're all gonna be at the conference so you might bump into Rollins too. I'm sure she'll be excited to see you." Nick snickered, typed in his phone number into Patton's smartphone and said goodbye to the man.

As the two women made it back into the bullpen captain Craigen was quick to call Amanda into his office. Slightly nervous the blonde entered and closed the door behind her to keep anyone from eavesdropping on their conversation. "The upcoming conference on friday have a vacant spot for one of my detectives at the SVU to talk about some of the work we do here. I'm well aware that you haven't been with us for very long but I do consider you as one of my very best. It would mean an awful lot to me and the squad if you prepared a twenty minutes speach about sexual abuse, what affect it could have on victims and their families, the whole process of the investigation until we nail the guy. What do you say?"

Amanda looked down right petrified and her feet felt like as if they were glued to the floor. She couldn't move. "Um... I... I'm not... I don't think..."

"Concider it a breakthrough in your career. I know what a good detective you are, Amanda. Maybe this will give you some exposure to the field and it might help you along the way. See it as a fresh start to something new and exciting." he said with a confident smile, really wanting Amanda to excel and thrive in her line of work.

"Why don't you ask Li... I mean detective Benson? I'm sure she would be way more qualified than me on the subject."

Craigen shook his head. "Two year ago she spoke at the very same conference and she told me never again. She has had her limelight, Rollins. This is your time to shine."

Amanda thought it over in her head and could honestly say that she couldn't come up with one single reason as to why she shouldn't do it. Captain could be right? Maybe this was really her time to show what she was made of. "Okay." she responded quick and short, as if she might change her mind at any second.

Craigen smiled and walked over to his newest member and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You won't regret it, Rollins. I've been telling people good things abou you. If you need a hand with your speech then don't hesitate to ask me for help or anyone else for that matter. I'm sure Olivia wouldn't mind giving you a hand."

"Sure, yeah, um... okay. I'll um... I'll get to it then. Thanks for the opportunity, cap. I appreciate it."

"Everything okay?" Olivia asked as soon as Amanda stepped through the door, her voice full of concern for her partner.

Walking towards the brunette, Amanda couldn't help but to offer her a small smile, thinking it was very sweet of Liv to be worried about her. "Cap wants me to hold a speech at the conference on friday. I'm literally shitting myself here. I haven't a clue how to write a speech or remember it all by heart." she gave Liv a lost and terrified look. "What have I gotten myself into?" she asked with a shaky voice.

Olivia beamed and engulfed her in a wam hug. "I'm happy for you. It's a good thing, Amanda. Cap doesn't just ask anyone, you know." as the brunette let go she immediately missed the warmth and comfort that only Liv could offer. Instead she wrapped her arms around herself and shifted anxiously from foot to foot. "Um, would you... could you... I mean, would it be a lot to ask if... if you... if maybe you would consider or..."

"I would be honoured to help you with your speech, Amanda." Liv said, feelings of pride and awe for her partner.