Chapter 14: Jaunt

Tauriel tried to remember the rota the prison guards were supposed to work by. If her calculations were right, a guardsman called Amras was supposed to come next, notorious for his distractibility, which meant she will have no problems engaging him in conversation at close quarters enough to be able to steal the appropriate keys for an escape, then she could breakout similarly to the dwarves. She feigned indifference of course when Amras ambled in with her rations, proving she remembered the schedule and was just about to ask him about his growing family when she noticed the blonde hair and trailing cape behind him and Thranduil stepped into her cell, sidestepping and dismissing the sentinel when the door was open. "I came to reclaim something of mine."

Tauriel stood angrily, stepped to the king and without further ado, slapped him on the face hard, "you can do with me whatever you want, but nor me or my freedom will be violated. I'd die first."

Thranduil turned away towards the side, bringing the hand up to touch his face but then not quite doing it. The dragonmade scars have long healed as much as they ever would, but being struck there wasn't exactly on his priorities list. The illusion flickered a couple of times before he could take grasp of it. "You have opposed me, disrespected me, disobeyed my orders and threatened my life before and yet you're neither dead nor banished. Don't you think I would've punished you by now if I would've wanted to? Nevertheless you should not test my patience. Oppose me once more in public and I will have no choice but to make an example out of you," he declared on his best authoritative voice that he knew worked largely on everyone but Tauriel.

The redhead crossed her arms in front of herself, "what do you want?"

"For everything to go back as it was. Forget what I said earlier, you don't need to marry me. I wasn't thinking, it's too early for you to make such moves. Just come back, the privacy of our nights, that's all I want. Just you and me, a lusting fellow and his mate, a woman and her lover, sharing the naked truth as the only way you know how to have it. Is that too much to ask? And a little respect when we are amongst others of course," he side rolled his eyes tentative-jestingly.

"Or else you'll throw me in the dungeons or worse?" Tauriel provoked.

Thranduil sighed, "see with your heart if not with your eyes Tauriel! There's only one step further I can go and that is admitting that I love you, that I can't think of how to live without you. You have changed me in ways I never thought possible. You have ruined me to the point I no longer care how others view me and think of me. You can't ask for more because you have me, all of me," he put a hand on his heart and bowed his head.

"And yet you will never think of me as your equal, it matters to you where I come from. You're still interrogating the orcs."

"Say no more! I have offered you to become my equal, what else could you want?" The king rumbled irritably.

"To be free, not to be your playtoy. Let me go Thranduil. You can banish me for appearances or simply let me leave. I wish to start over, I wish to forget."

"You are serious," Thranduil stepped back, paling. He had to digest that for a bit before anger erupted, "but I don't believe your reasons, that's not it," he argued feeling like he had been kicked. He shook his head in disbelief. First Legolas and now Tauriel? They were similar in that respect, he couldn't order them to stay, "I know carcaroths and draugluins cannot be tamed. Nonetheless please if you're departing at least have the decency to tell me or at least admit to yourself the real reason!" He swallowed, sudden onslaught of emotions making him sick to his stomach.

The redhead bit her bottom lip, feeling for him as much as she felt the sorrow herself. "Alright, you're right," she whispered, "there's a part of me that can't bear it, that finds it too much, that can't take it, I couldn't love again, it hurts too much," she shook her head, "and there's also a part of me that fears I will not love you enough, though they both tell me one thing, that I need to be unbound and uninhibited to find the path that's right for me. I've been thinking about it for a while. It wasn't just what happened today. I don't belong in court, I never did and I need to go before it will also hurt you too much to see me depart." She said determined.

"It's too late for that." Thranduil declared gravely.

"Don't do that please," the woman frowned, "don't fool yourself, it's not real, not yet." She claimed.

Thranduil closed his eyes, breathing deep before he got himself together enough for an answer and put his royal face on, "perhaps for you. But as you wish," he said calmly, his insides roiling below the surface. "You have made your mind up and I'm not foolish enough to think I can change your choice. You wouldn't be the woman I fell in love with otherwise," he nodded to underline his words and reached out a hand to cup her face, happy she let him for a moment, "my little fell beast, my perfect rebel, the bird that will never be happy in the cage, where will you go?" He sighed, eyes stinging. At least he's keeping his royal dignity not to beg her.

"It defeats the purpose if I told you," Tauriel argued, "besides I do not know where."

Thranduil nodded, disappointed that he could not get as much of an answer out of her, "I will set you free, I promise. Tomorrow you're free to go. But tonight, we have," he moved tentatively, questioningly, to take her hand in his, hoping she has calmed down enough not to resist him.

Tauriel didn't need to contemplate that, "tonight I shall stay with you," she agreed, embracing him. She couldn't change who she was, but she couldn't stand not comforting him for the pain she had caused him herself. So she wrapped her arms around his chest and rested her head on it, squeezing tightly and closing her eyes, breathing his scent in. There could be no harm in that.

Thranduil let out a sigh, wishing they could stay in that position forever, "I will miss you," he mumbled softly, his breath tickling her forehead.

"I will miss you too," Tauriel admitted to which Thranduil smiled sadly and kissed the top of her head before moving to lift her up into his arms to carry her out the cell, out the dungeons and into his bed, not minding guards and servants who almost fell over themselves pretending not to see.

Tbc