Disclaimer: I wish i owned but i don't. Pity.
Geth342: Wow, i feel incredibly loved. I had more reviewers, alerters and favouriters than usual. Now i'm happy! Thanks a lot.
Anyway, here's the 14th Chapter. I'm going to give up saying it's going to pick up pace because maybe, if i don't say it, my next chapter will actually pick up pace and i won't feel like a fool. Anyway, next update will be either on the 19th or the 20th. I'm away for a uni interview next Tuesday/Wednesday (yikes!) so we'll have to see how my nerves affect my writing. So, hope you all enjoy!
Chapter 14: Keeping Secrets
"I'm sorry?" Rowland asked, still smiling but looking confused. Rune looked as though he had given up all hope on sanity. Zac, however, looked slightly shocked.
"What photo are you talking about?" He demanded.
I thought for a moment, trying to recall it. "Your photo." I replied eventually. "You had one in your pocket when I was little- about eight or so. It was you and a girl when you were my age. I think it was Professor Rowland."
"How do you remember that?" His voice was puzzled and he was frowning. "You shouldn't be able to remember that."
"What?" I was thrown by this. "Why on earth shouldn't I be able to remember it?"
"What do you remember, exactly?" He asked impatiently, ignoring me as usual.. Rowland opened her mouth to speak but seemed to think better of it.
"Um…I remember it being my eighth birthday." I began hesitantly. "You came and gave me a present and then you walked off. I was going to go after you and I saw…I saw a piece of paper. I picked it up and it was a teenage boy and girl- you two- sitting with their arms around each other. But you were moving. So…" I had to really concentrate now. My memory was patchier here. "I think I went to show you and Mum and Dad, because I was so shocked by moving people on paper…I don't know what happened after that."
He frowned. "Right…why do you remember all that?" He muttered. I asked him what he was talking about. He informed me, in the same impatient voice, that he had used a gentle memory erase charm on me when I had come into the room because neither he nor our parents had wanted me to know about magic- or indeed, his life at Hogwarts past thirteen- unless I had to. And, apparently, the charm hadn't been all that successful because I had started to remember it. I should have been indignant that he had deleted my memory without permission but I wasn't. I suppose that, if you have just found out all these strange things about your brother then other acts he commits fail to surprise you.
Rune was a bit more vocal. "Is there anything you haven't done?" He asked dryly. "Like, oh I don't know…did you donate to charity at any point in your life?"
"Once." Zac replied, totally straight-faced. "But the charity was too proud to accept it. Does that count?" Rune rolled his eyes but I could see the glimmer of a smile on his face. For some reason, he found it funny.
"Hey, I seem to be a bit out on this." Rowland called. We looked at her. "What photo is Holly talking about?" Zac delved into his pocket, pulled out the photo and showed it to her. "Oh."
"You remember it?"
She looked again. "Vaguely…I remember it being taken, I think. Were we by the lake?" He nodded. "Yeah, I had this once, didn't I? I think it fell out during the battle."
"Am I the only one missing something here?" Rune asked. Amusement began to creep back into his voice. "Was there a convention where everyone decided that nothing is shocking anymore?"
"It was last Thursday." Zac muttered, but smiled wryly. I was confused. When had they decided they liked each other?
Rowland looked at us with a slightly anxious look. "Well, you see…when we were your age, we…dated."
"You say that like it's a bad thing." Zac murmured, startling a laugh out of me. "Besides, it wasn't for very long. We were friends for way longer than that."
Suddenly, something else occurred to me. "Is this why you like staring at me so much?" I asked curiously. She blinked, startled.
"Here, I thought it was Langtree who stared at you." Rune pointed out. "Or do you have a fan club I don't know about? Can I join?"
"Langtree stares more," I agreed. "But Row- um, Professor Rowland does it too."
Rune considered this for a moment. "Oh, yeah, she does."
"I do not." The woman in question protested.
"You do." My boyfriend replied amiably. "You're always finding an excuse to talk to her too. Cassius was wondering whether you were stalking her actually." It occurred to me that we were not treating Rowland as a teacher any more. How odd.
"I…" She seemed at a loss for words. "I may have glanced her way occasionally but I don't stare at her." Rune repeated his argument. "When have I ever stared at her?" She demanded.
"Day before yesterday when I was by the Greenhouses." I suggested.
"Dinner time yesterday."
"Oh, this morning as well."
"Tammy, I think you're going to have to believe them." Zac interjected. "Otherwise my little sister will go on for hours. And no one wants that." I glared at him but he merely raised an eyebrow and smirked. "So, what was that about Langtree?"
"He stares so much at your sister that I'm worried that he's going to marry her." Rune replied dryly.
To my surprise, my brother burst out laughing. "Wow, Seifer never did learn the art of subtlety." He thought for a moment. "Tammy, when did Seifer ever show the faintest interest in Charms?"
"After the battle. He told me that he concentrated more on his work after the battle and found that he actually liked Charms. Mind you, this was when we started teaching. I didn't know him much when I returned to school, especially because I was a year behind."
"Why were you a year behind?" I asked curiously. I noticed that Zac looked a little uncomfortable.
"I got injured in the battle. Your brother," she nodded at Zac, "stopped the battle so I could get proper help. Or so I heard. I don't know because I was in a coma by then. I didn't wake up for just over a year, I think it was. So I had to start Sixth-year with the people in the year below me because my year had already done it." This, at least, seemed to make sense. Zac looked away.
"At least you didn't die." Rune noted. "Not like that guy, Tom Howell."
"I was lucky." She didn't say anything else for a while. Then: "I know a few people who were really hurt by that battle and not just participants." She looked away. Zac shifted uncomfortably. Rune decided to change the subject to whether Zac was going to be okay when it snowed. Tammy continued looking at the ground.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
We stayed in the cave for a few more hours. Somehow, the topic of Zac's life didn't really come up again- at least not in large group discussions. At some points, my brother and Rowland would start talking to each other about people I didn't know so Rune and I would talk about other things.
We ended with a discussion about the best time for me to come and see him. He was all for me sneaking out of the school but Rowland primly reminded him that, as a teacher, she couldn't exactly advocate it. ("But Professor, you're currently consorting with a known criminal." Rune pointed out. "I don't think advocating bad behaviour has much to do with it anymore." Rowland just glared at him.) However, she did say that the next Hogsmeade trip would be on the 6th December, so maybe I could meet him then.
Before we left, Zac told us not to tell anyone where he was. I pointed out that this was what had got me into trouble the first time, including knocking myself out on a rock. He merely shrugged and said that this was important. He had been on the run for fifteen years or so, so he probably knew a bit more about people than I did so could I please humour him and keep quiet because he really did not want to visit Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. I sighed and promised. Rune did as well, rolling his eyes at all the secrecy. We left before Rowland did.
When asked what I had been up to, I told everyone that we went for a walk. I wondered if they could tell that I was lying again. No one said anything, but I could see the distrust in Devyn's eyes and the twist in Rhian's mouth. Sandy was a lot more trusting but I could see the occasional doubt flash across her face. I resolved to be as truthful as possible in every other matter I could think of.
(This lasted about one week, until one evening, in the Common Room, Devyn commented on the fact that Sandy and Rhian kept disappearing. I had a feeling that they had probably gone away to be together but I had already decided to keep silent. I decided that I was excused from telling the truth about this.)
Langtree stopped staring at me so much. It occurred to me that Professor Rowland had probably told him to stop it. Not for the first time, I wondered how he and my brother had known each other- Zac had talked about him by name, so they must have known each other before. Frustratingly, I was sure that the link was obvious but I could not work it out.
Up until the end of November, my life progressed in the new, normal fashion. I talked to Dev, Sandy and Rhian but not to any of the other Ravenclaws in my year. I tutored Sephy every so often. I spent more time with Rune as well, and also with Lysana and Richard (and Cassius, occasionally), especially on the weekend. The rest of the school either muttered comments about me or walked around as though I no longer existed, which suited me.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
At the beginning of December, Zac sent me another note.
Mynd i'r ogof ar y mynydd. 1 o'gloch. Cyntaf, mynd i'r siopiau Naddolig.
This time, he had written 'Go to the cave on the mountain. One o'clock. First, go Christmas shopping.' (It actually said 'Go to the Christmas shops' but I supposed that it had been a long time since he had learnt Welsh).
This time, I decided that I had learnt my lesson- I would leave the note in my room. Unfortunately, once again, events conspired against me. As I headed towards my dorm so that I could put it away, I bumped into Darius Potter. The letter fell out of my hands and I mumbled an apology as I picked it up. He put his foot on it.
"I want to see what you have here." He sneered. I tried to grab it but he was quicker. He read it. "What's it talking about?"
I said nothing, so he repeated the question. This time, I muttered, "It's just a note from my parents."
"I don't believe you." He smirked. By this point, a large crowd had gathered. "You and your brother are the sort of people my grandpa locks up." People in the crowd murmured at this. I glared at him- he didn't know the first thing about me.
"Leave her alone, Darius." Faith Weasley called uncertainly. He looked at her.
"Or what?"
"I'll give you a detention." Her voice trembled- she was a shy person- but her gaze did not waver. It had no effect on the boy, although I felt a sudden rush of fondness for her.
"Go ahead." He laughed. "I'm tellingthe truth. My dad says that all the Slytherins from that battle should have been arrested. Her brother was the worst one there. She doesn't deserve to be here." There was a rumble of agreement from the crowd. "They're all like the Death Eaters." He finished proudly. Unthinkingly, I plunged my hand into my robes, trying to think of a suitable curse. He might have been famous but I had had enough of him.
"Miss Carew, if you are about to draw your wand, I suggest you think twice." Professor Langtree's crisp voice informed me. I glanced at him, but he was looking at Potter. "Mr. Potter, please apologise for what you have just said to Miss Carew."
"No." He replied, to general shock. "I've got nothing to apologise for. I just said the truth." He smirked, feeling he had a winning point. I found myself wishing that I knew how to do silent spells.
Langtree was quite calm. "Mr. Potter, do you like Charms? I thought I heard you saying the other day that you did." I stared at him. What did this have to do with anything?
"Sure I do, Professor." Potter replied charmingly. "It's a pretty cool subject."
"Do you like my teaching?"
"Yep. You're a pretty cool teacher as well." He seemed to be truthful. I wondered where this was going.
"So, wouldn't it have been a pity if I had been arrested for being a Slytherin in that battle?" The teacher asked mildly. Some people stared at him. "You wouldn't have your favourite Charms teacher, would you?"
Potter shook his head. "I- I didn't know." He mumbled. "You don't seem like a Slytherin." He added boldly.
"Define a Slytherin."
"Um…you know…" He trailed off, suddenly unsure of himself. It was the first time I had ever seen it happen.
"And you know, Mr. Potter," Langtree added, "this was what that battle was supposed to be about. Keep it in mind in future…and never let me catch you using that disgusting word again." This time, the boy apologised and Langtree told the crowd to disperse. In the crowd, I spotted Faith looking ashamed, but before I could move and thank her, Langtree stopped me. He asked me if I was alright.
"I'm fine thanks." I replied.
"Have you been getting that sort of abuse from a lot of people?" He asked, his brown eyes kind. I shook my head and he smiled. "You're a good liar, but I learnt from the best. Tell the truth."
I shrugged. "Yeah, a bit. People mostly just talk about me to themselves. I can cope." I tried to sound flippant but I couldn't really pull it off.
"If it gets bad, tell a member of staff." He told me. I shrugged- in all honesty, I doubted that the teachers could do anything much. "I mean it." Langtree said. "We're here to help."
I turned to leave when something occurred to me. I looked back at him. "Sir?"
"Yes, Holly?"
"You remember when you told us about your best friend?" I asked. "The one who disappeared?" He nodded impassively. I took a deep breath to summon up my courage and then asked, "was it my brother?"
He regarded me for a moment, and then, slowly, he nodded. "As you can imagine," he murmured dryly, "his secret was about his family."
I nodded, and then I thought of something else. "What was the other secret…sir?"
"What?"
"You said he told you something else- before he exposed his secret." I wasn't sure why I was asking- mere curiosity I suppose. "If you don't want to tell me-"
"You were." He interrupted me. I stared at him. "He only told three people that he was going to have a little sister- his girlfriend, me and another friend."
"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say. It hurt. Even then, Zac was ashamed of me. "Thanks sir." I started to leave, suddenly aware that I needed to get to lesson. And to find a way to ease the sudden pain I felt.
"Holly," he called after me. "You know he picked your name?" I nodded quickly. "I don't know for sure, but I think he picked it because someone close to him suggested it. I just thought you should know." I didn't say anything. He came behind me. "If you do see him," he murmured softly, "tell him I want him to know I'm sorry for not helping him when he found me at the station. And for not really forgiving him." I nodded. "Thanks." He turned and walked away.
Langtree's words had helped a little bit, but it still hurt. Why was Zac ashamed of me?
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Rune said he'd come with me again. This time, we had to do some Christmas shopping first- for one thing, I realised that I actually had to get Zac a present and it wasn't going to be wrapped- and we also had the problem of being with Richard and Lysana. I wanted to tell Lysana but I found that I couldn't just betray Zac.
In the end, Rune said that he wanted to have some alone time with me. This, rather predictably, raised a few eyebrows, but Rune assured them that he just wanted to celebrate the fact that we had been together over a month (until that point, I hadn't actually noticed this) and they let us go without making too many innuendos.
When we got to the cave, Professor Rowland was already there, having a deep discussion with Zac. That surprised me; I had sort of assumed that the last meeting had been a one-off thing for her. Zac smiled at us as we walked in, though he raised an eyebrow at Rune, who ignored him.
I gave him his Christmas present- a selection box from Honeydukes and a book on great Wizards which I wasn't entirely sure he wanted, but I thought it could keep him amused. In return, he gave me two knuts he had found and a bar of chocolate, explaining that he had been a little hard put to produce something but he'd try and send something to the house. I smiled, saying that at least he had made the effort which made him laugh. I couldn't help but think about what Professor Langtree had told me. Then I remembered the message. I relayed it to him.
Zac remained expressionless for a moment, his blue eyes merely thoughtful. Then, he glanced at Rowland. "Do you reckon I should speak with him?"
She shrugged. "He was your best friend. If you want to, you can. He wasn't sure about you when he first got questioned but, if it makes you feel any better, he's convinced you're innocent."
"I'll have to think on it." He muttered.
"Hey, what secret of Langtree's do you know anyway?" I asked without thinking- it was more of a way to keep the conversation going rather than actual curiosity.
His eyebrows snapped together in a frown. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that secrets are important?"
"Yes." Rune answered for me. "Right before a newspaper blurted it out for her. You do know she had an argument with Darius Potter because of you, right?" He was using his contemptuous tone again, the one he seemed to reserve for Zac. Once again, it felt strange to hear it.
Zac rolled his eyes. "Couldn't you have picked someone less annoying than him?" He complained, making Rowland laugh. My boyfriend smirked. Then my brother smiled. "He does have a point though, I suppose. Anyway, I'm not telling you because I'm sworn to secrecy and this is something the poor bo- man really doesn't want people to know."
Rowland smiled. "Are there any Slytherin-type people who don't have life-changing secrets?"
"Well, my cousin isn't really a mountain climber." Rune drawled. "Do I get points for that being a non-life-changing secret?" I was glad to hear the amusement back in his voice. Rowland laughed again.
"You get one. I already knew that."
"I've got one." Zac stated seriously. We turned to look at him. "I'm actually a leprechaun." He grinned at the looks of confusion on our faces.
"You get minus points for that." Rune decided. "That was a lie."
Somehow, this silly game kept us amused for a while. By the end of it, I had seventeen points, Rowland had twenty, Zac had minus five and Rune ended up with minus one hundred.
We sobered up when Zac asked about the next time I could visit. According to Rowland (who was insisting that we call her Tammy but that felt far too weird to me), the next trip was not until Valentine's day at which Zac said that he would like to see his little sister at least once before then. Rune pointed out Christmas but Zac asked him, in his politest voice, if he had left his sanity somewhere.
I was the only person not taking part in this discussion. I liked the idea that he wanted to talk to me again but I felt that I knew more about my brother than I had before. I wondered if his real reason was so that Professor Rowland could see him again; after all, they definitely had chemistry and I hadn't seen Zac as alive as he had been when talking with Rowland.
"Holly, what do you think?" The man in question asked, jerking me out of my thoughts.
"I could just…escape from school." I suggested lamely. "If, Professor-"
"Tammy, Holly."
"Sorry, Tammy, well, if she didn't know when I was leaving then she couldn't be blamed for it, could she?" This idea sounded awful to me but I needed something to pretend I had been listening. To my surprise, the other three considered it.
"That's the best idea I've heard." My boyfriend declared, slipping an arm around my shoulder. Zac frowned for a moment at the sight.
"I've just heard the idea though." Rowland protested, ever the good teacher. "I can't allow her to do this."
"So, if you catch her, give her detention." Rune replied impatiently. "As far as you'll know, every night, Holly will be in her bed."
"I like it." Zac declared, brushing some copper-coloured hair out of his eyes. "I'm sure I can find a way to get Holly out." He smiled at me. I smiled back.
Maybe he did care about me after all.