Chapter 14
Kortney's P.O.V.
As soon as I get to Pav's building, I rush inside, praying that none of the boys would happen to walk out and see me. When I get to his room, I pull a tissue out of my bag and wipe my cheeks, using the glass from a framed picture behind me to see. When I'm done, I take a deep breath and knock on the door. Buzzy opens the door.
"Oh, hey, Kort," Buzz's mouth drops slightly. "There's like six guys in our room right now, so I'll send Pav out. Hold on," says, smiling apologetically.
"Thanks, Buzz," I respond, trying to smile.
He closes the door and a couple seconds later, it opens, Pav standing with a smile and a jacket in his right hand. As soon as he sees my red cheeks and puffy eyes, his smile fades. He quickly shuts the door behind him. He places his hand flat on the small of my back and guides me into the lobby. He leads me towards a long red couch positioned in the middle of a sitting area. A small, dim fire blazed in the cracking stone fireplace. He sits down on the couch and pulls me towards him onto his lap. I lean into him, burying my head in his neck. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. I whimper and sniffle, trying to catch my breath.
"It's okay. Everything's alright. You're okay," he keeps saying, his warm hand rubbing my back.
Once I have slowed my breaths to somewhat normal speed, I pull my head off of him and wipe my eyes. I climb off of him and sit on the couch next to him. His hand still rests on my back.
"Hey, want to tell me what happened?"
"Ugh, it's nothing," I say, wiping my eyes again. "I just got into a huge argument with Julie."
"What about?"
I stare at my hands, trying to make my mouth open. I just realize that the fight is the first time I have talked about the incident since it happened. I look up into Pav's ocean eyes. As soon as I catch them in mine, I feel courage. I feel like I can trust Pav with anything and everything. I take a deep breath and place my small hand in Pav's.
"Okay, well, about a year ago, I had this boyfriend. His name was Brett. He was perfect: handsome, talented, smart, brave, and I thought he was sweet. But um…" I trail off, my mouth starting to quiver, "turns out he wasn't so sweet."
I look towards the fire trying not to start crying again. When I swivel my vision back around to Pav, his eyebrows are furrowed.
"What did he do to you?" his tone becomes very serious and almost dark. Almost.
"Well, i-it started out as him just being really short-tempered with me. Then, um, he started to…bully me, I guess. I don't know how to explain it, but he would say things to me. Things that hurt. Sometimes more than others. And that part wasn't so bad, you know. I'm pretty tough, I can take it. But then he, um, he started to…t-to, um…" I trail off again, my voice starting to shake.
Pav sits up more and looks at me intensely, using his the side of his pointer finger to turn my face towards his.
"Kortney, it's okay. You can tell me everything, if you want."
Pav's P.O.V.
"Kortney, it's okay. You can tell me everything, if you want."
She nods, taking another deep, shaky breath.
"He, um, he would come to my house at night and he would…um, he would be...aggressive with me," she says, seeming like she's not sure how to articulate her experience.
"How do you mean 'aggressive?'"
"At first, he would just grab my arms and hold on really tight or slap me or something like that. There would only be bruises and red marks. Then he got more violent."
"How?" I turn my face towards the little fire.
"He would…um…h-he would, um...punch me or throw me on the floor. Then, while I was on the ground, he would kick me. That used to hurt. There would be bruises for days, and I would bleed a lot."
"Why didn't you tell your parents?"
"I was afraid."
"Of what?"
"That he would hurt me even worse than he already was. I should have just told them! I should have told them then! But I didn't know!"
"Know what?'
"That he was going to hurt me worse anyway! I didn't even think it was possible, to be honest!"
"What did he do?"
"He would choke me. He would shove me on the ground and sit on my legs so I couldn't move. Then he would wrap his hands around my neck. I still remember his hands. They were so big he only had to use one."
She reaches up and brushes her fingers across her neck, gulping as she does so.
"Do you remember the night of our first date?"
"At the rink, yeah? That was the first night we kissed," I say, smiling at the memory.
She smiles, sadly.
"Do you remember how I told you that I used to skate?" I nod. "And that I stopped because I hurt my back?" I nod again. "I lied when I said that I stopped when I was fifteen. I actually stopped two years ago."
"Hold on, I don't get it. What does this have to do with your boyfriend?"
"I'm getting to that," she takes another deep breath. "I didn't hurt my back. Well, I did, but it wasn't my fault.
"It was your boyfriend's. What did he do.?"
"Well this one night, he came over. My parents were gone to a dinner for my dad's company. He was really, really mad. And drunk. He came through the door like nothing I've ever seen before. He grabbed me, his hands were cutting off the circulation to my wrists. He shook me as he yelled at me. I still don't know why he was yelling at me. He just insulted me and said all kinds of terrible things to me. He took me into my bathroom and tried to make me take off my clothes. I said no and he got even madder. He took a pair of scissors out of the drawer and told me that If I didn't do it, he would kill me. I still don't know what happened to me, but I got really angry. I started screaming at him to stop and that I hated him and things like that. But he...uh…"
"But he didn't."
"Nope. His face was so contorted in anger, he looked like a different person. He punched me repeatedly in the face and gave me a black eye. Then he tried to choke me again. He let me go just before I passed out. I began to cough up blood. As I was bent over the sink, he grabbed me again and put the pair of scissors to my neck. I screamed louder than I'd ever known was possible. He cut my neck and my shoulders. My stomach and my wrists."
"So how'd he break your back?"
"He picked me back up and threw me into the bathroom mirror, back first. The impact fractured my thoracic and lumbar spine. He left me like that. Laying helplessly on the floor, bleeding, crying, and scared almost to the point of death. I remember everything like it was yesterday. I couldn't feel a thing. There was so much pain."
"What'd you do?"
"I used my arms and crawled out of the bathroom. I reached up and knocked the phone off my side table. I called 911 and then my parents. The next thing I remember I woke up in the hospital. The bright white lights were shining in my eyes so I couldn't even see. I remember pain shooting up my back and down my arms and in my eye and my neck. I was purple and black everywhere. My arms were cut sown up and my back had a metal brace-like thing on it. I was in the hospital for 6 months."
"What happened to your boyfriend?"
"My parents called the police. We showed my bruises off, and they started the search. They found him and took him in. He was charged with aggravated assault, and now he's in prison for twenty years."
"I'm so sorry."
Kortney's P.O.V.
"I'm so sorry."
Pav's arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me closer. I shake my head.
"Why? There's nothing you could have done. It was my fault. I should have gotten out while I still could have."
Pav sighs and pushes me off of him. He looks me in the eyes.
"There's something I need to tell you, too," he says.
"Okay."
"It's kind of shocking. And I guess pretty scary and sad. I'm not really sure how you're going to take it."
"It doesn't really matter what you've done, Mark. I'll still care about you," I respond, placing my hand on his.
"Okay," he begins and then takes a deep breath. "The summer before I started at UMD, I went on this hunting trip with my best friend. We were out in the woods, just looking for some deer. I thought I saw one, so I fired. When I went to go look at the body…" he stops, gulping.
"What was it?"
"It wasn't a deer. It was…um…i-it was Shawn. I-I shot Shawn. I killed my best friend," he says.
His eyes, intently stuck on gazing into the fire, are glossy with tears. My mouth drops open slightly. I move closer to Pav and wrap my arms around his torso. He looks down and then sniffs, wiping under his eyes.
"I was a wreck. Just ask Billy or Bah. They would know."
"Mark, it wasn't your fault, though. It was an accident. You didn't shoot him on purpose."
He shakes his head and says, "Doesn't really matter. It was still my bullet. I still pulled the trigger."
I lean my chin on his shoulder.
After a few moments of silence, I say, "Well, looks like we're both pretty messed up, huh?"
He chuckles, but turns serious.
"Do you have scars? From your ex-boyfriend?"
I nod.
"Could I see?"
"I guess," I say and shrug. "I don't know why. They're not exactly what I would call 'beautiful.'"
I pull up the sleeves of my sweater and hold my wrists out to him. He gingerly runs his fingers along the raised skin, frowning as he does.
"I also have them on my stomach and my thighs," I say, half-hoping that he would want to see those, too.
"Lemme see."
I yank off my sweater and pull up my black tank top. He just stares at the scars on my stomach, looking angry. I shove my tank top back down and shrug my sweater back on. He scoots closer to me and takes my arms in his hands. He gently kisses all of my scars, taking his time on the bigger ones. When he's done, he moves his right hand to my cheek and pulls me towards him. Our lips connect again. This is the second time we've kissed. I smile when I pull back, looking at our interconnected fingers.
"You are so beautiful," he says, brushing some of my hair back.
"Not really, though," I say, shaking my head.
"Kortney, shut up. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And the best one I've ever met."
I blush as I peck him on the cheek. I glance behind me at the clock.
"Oh my goodness, Pav. It's 12:30. You need to sleep. You won't be able to stay awake long enough to get out of the lobby. Goodnight, Mark. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Kortney – Sparky."