Hello lovely people of this glorious fanfic world! Here is a little somethin-somethin for your week!

I am hoping to put the pedal to the metal a little bit this summer! There have been so many awesome changes in my life, that I hope I will always find time to come back to my passion.

I have just graduated with my AA (FINALLY!), my gorgeous wife is expecting our first child, a baby girl due this August! We are beyond thrilled! So before nugget's arrival, I hope to power through some stuff for you guys!

I've got a couple of different projects in the works for you guys if you follow more than just Twilight and also follow me, so stay tuned!

As always, THANK YOU for being so loyal to my work. I got some very interesting reviews lately, and I just want to ask those with strong opinions to stick with me as I get through all these "introduction" chapters. I am setting up for a lot of different elements. I am trying to stay true to some of the original themes and energies from the books while bringing my own story to life (what fanfic is all about right?!). Just give it time! You know all my stories end happily! I hate sad plot twists at finales of stories! Some of you do make very valid points on how I've laid the characters out, but to reiterate, I'm staying true to the original character as well as setting up for later events.

xoxo
-Mel

Alice

I don't know what my family expected me to do. Just leave her in the woods to die? Leave whatever is left of my dead heart to wither away with her? How selfish of them! Edward and Rosalie especially! I don't care if she figures out what we are or not, she didn't deserve to die out there in the woods!

I sit on a tree branch, one that is level to Isabella's second floor bedroom window. I returned her to her own room a couple of hours after she passed out again. Carlisle assured me that she was out of the woods and should be feeling well enough to handle herself on her own. While he wasn't angry that I had brought her there, he wasn't exactly thrilled about it either. He is more concerned about the risks it poses to our kind's laws, and my "befriending" a human was one of the worst laws I could have broken. Carlisle is compassionate though, and he knew she needed to be treated for her ailments.

I've been sitting here since I left her in bed this morning. She hasn't stirred since she was last awake; which is a good thing because I don't think I could have handled her reaction to seeing me again. She was so afraid. She was so afraid of me.

I can't blame her, of course. She doesn't know or realize that I am made to kill and that her fear is legitimate to feel in my presence. It doesn't make it hurt my non-beating heart any less, though. It's only been a handful of days that her and I have interacted, not even a week since she fractured her arm and this impromptu friendship even began, and yet it pains me to be this far away from her. Pains me even more when I know she will want nothing to do with me when she awakens and remembers.

A dry sob threatens to break from my throat, but no tears will fall, because that is what I am now. Unhuman. Immortal. Incapable.

I hold my hand to my chest because it feels like it is going to explode with the human emotion that I can feel with every fiber of my being, but that I cannot properly express. Some people don't realize how truly good they have it to just be able to cry. The weight that it can lift from them.

After a few hours, I see movement in Isabella's room as she awakes. I watch as she slowly sits up and situates herself on the edge of the bed. After a moment or two, she gets up and heads for the door. She seems more steady on her feet than she was last night, so I relax a little, knowing she won't need more aid from Carlisle.

"Leave a note the next time you decide to be gone for 2 days." I hear Isabella's father tell her.

I frown at this, realizing with this simple statement, that her and chief Swann really are not very close. That must be why Isabella said, the other day, that she doesn't care about her father.

He leaves a minute later and I hear the shower turn on in the Swann home.

I tune out for a few minutes, searching Isabella's future for any decisions she may be making about me. But I'm not coming up with any kind of future for her right now. That could only mean that she is so conflicted about the last few days that she is unsure of what to do at all.

I'm brought from my thoughts when I suddenly hear Isabella rummaging through her room. I can hear the slamming of her dresser drawers and belongings hitting the floor. What is she looking for? I watch her closely as she goes through everything she can think of, even checking her window, jiggling the lock. I bite my lip when I see her small frame slump to the floor. I can hear her fast-paced heartbeat and the quick breaths passing her lips. She's having an anxiety attack.

My cold fingers curl around the tree branch I'm sitting on. I hear the start of a crack as my fingertips dig into the bark. I just want to be able to go to her, comfort her, hold her.

After a few minutes, Isabella finally gets up, sounding better and heads toward her bed. She looks at her phone for a few minutes before she finally climbs under the covers. I wait long enough to hear her breathing even out, knowing that she is back to sleep.

The only decision she has seemed to make for now is to avoid school.

I stand on the branch and take off through the trees. Dry sobs burst from my lips as I run, I can no longer contain them. The feeling of them burns my throat, and makes my chest tighten painfully. We don't cry quite like humans do, but it can still overwhelm and consume us until it subsides.

I head as far up into the mountains as I can before I slow down in a small valley between the mountain walls. Fallen boulders line the jagged, unwalked path. In a sudden fit of rage, I pick up the nearest boulder and throw it as far as I can, before I hear its loud crash as it slams into the mountain ridge. I pick up another, and then another, throwing them and hearing them crash until I feel the anger give way to something even darker. I can feel the darkness creeping into my thoughts.

I haven't felt this way since the first few decades after I was changed. When I couldn't remember anything about my past. I spent years feeling depressed, wanting to cease my existence. That's when I met Carlisle, and he brought me into his vegetarian family. But now my family has all but abandoned me. None of them understand what this is like. They all saved their mates or found them already changed! They were all human at some point, too! So, what makes them so different?

I sit on a nearby boulder, one that I didn't happen to throw, and take in a deep breath. While it's not necessary, it can still feel emotionally relieving.

I truly do not know what I can do, or what I should do about Isabella at this point. The ball rests in her court. She could either choose to shut me out completely now, or she can come to me and ask for the answers she deserves. God, do I hope it's the latter option, but I won't know until she decides. This is torture!

I stand and take another deep breath. I steel myself for now and start running. I cannot bear to be around my family and I cannot bear to see Isabella until I know what she will decide. If she decides that she is done without any answers, then I probably won't go back at all. Maybe I'll just head to Denali and see my cousins.

-X-

I've spent a few days with my cousins now, avoiding their questions and their concerned gazes. When I arrived, I told them that I needed some space from the family and feeling like the seventh wheel. They, however, know me well enough to see that I am not okay and that this is more than just a vacation. I've been moping and unwilling to go hunting. I haven't eaten in almost a week to be precise. I didn't feed for the 2 days that Isabella was in my care, and I haven't fed since then either. I've been keeping a close mind's eye on Isabella's decisions, but it appears she has not made one yet. She hasn't been doing much deciding on anything, other than what to do with her next few hours at a time.

I've been spending most of my hours laying in the spare room that my cousins have provided for me. Sitting as still as stone as the minute's tick by agonizingly slow, and days turn into nights. It is times like this that I wish I could truly sleep. All I can do is let myself drift into my subconscious where I can at least forget about all sense of time passing me by, I'm just still stuck with my thoughts.

"Alice..." my cousin Tanya calls to me from the doorway. "it's Carlisle, he'd like to speak with you."

I sit up and accept the phone from her outstretched hand, nodding my thanks before she turns and leaves.

"Hello Carlisle." I say softly into the phone.

"Alice," comes his relieved voice. "how are you?" he asks, his warm fatherly tone seeping into his voice.

"I'm fine." I answer him dryly.

"Alice…" he says lowly, knowing I'm not truly fine. "I'm worried about you. This human has really affected you." His tone is not accusatory, just full of concern.

"She has." I amend simply. "And her decision to get lost in the woods has messed everything up."

"I am sure that is not accurate. She is human after all, with a mind that must cope with information much differently than you or I know how too. You envisioned yourself with this girl before even knowing her, before she would even have a choice to make about you. That could only mean that the things that are happening were meant to happen. Just give it time Alice, she will come around in her own time."

I am quiet for a long time, knowing that he is right. "thank you." I say simply to him before ending the call.

The down side to what Carlisle has said is that I am relying on a deplorable human trait: impatience. It is eating me alive right now.

Carlisle is right though. I need to get up, stop moping, get home and find a way to make this girl realize that she wants to be a part of my life as much as I want to be a part of hers.

I should start by hunting, though.

"Thank you, Tanya." I say aloud as I stand at the window, about to exit.

"You're welcome, Alice. Be well." I hear her response come seconds later.

I take care of my recently unsatiated appetite, before beginning the long journey home to Forks. I do not know exactly what I'll do when I get there, but hopefully the long run can help me figure that out.