Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.
Author's Note: Wow, sorry for the way late update I really am! Everything's just been so hectic. But anyway, enough with the pity party for me. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah or whatever you celebrate! Here's the next installment!
Reviews:
Erid'Lor: I was when I last posted...but I'M FINALLY BETTER! Anyway...thanks for the review!
bubblymuggle4: Wow, we really are similar hmmm? I'll be sixteen by the way. Thanks for the review, as always.
Miriel's Heart: You know, thanks for pointing that out, I would have never noticed, honestly. Thank you thank you.
Hallows07: Thank you! And no problem, I know how it feels to be sick for a long time!
Hikitsulover-81: Thank you! For both the review and the early birthday wish!
Chapter 20: And we're off! Figuratively speaking.
So I've ended up walking around with the Mighty morphing losers trying to gather men for the upcoming '"Battle of the world of men!". No luck for that. There is seriously no one in this village that could fight, and live anyway. Me and Legolas have been entertaining ourselves by commenting on just how long someone could last, until I jut caught Aragorn's hefty glare. As usual.
"I want every man and strong lad able to bear arms to be ready for battle by nightfall." Théoden shouted in his commanding, "I"M KING! DO WHAT I SAY!" voice. No one moved really.
"Shame, I don't believe we'll be able to find anyone that meets that criterion in this part of town." I said, putting on a fake "Soldier Inspector" air. I received a pop in the mouth by Aragorn. Flaming pansy. We just kept walking, Théoden chose to ignore my statement, and continued to comment on how we would cover this and that part of the wall.
"No army has ever breached the Deeping Wall, or set foot inside the Hornburg."
"Whets the Hornburg?' I asked looking at Théoden; he merely closed his eyes, and continued walking. He's a flaming pansy too!
"It's Helms Deep, you dolt." replied Legolas, obviously trying to soothe my temper. Not helping though. So I stepped, lightly of course, on his foot, making him yell out a stream of curses, causing all the women to stare at him in shock.
"You could have made any of my crewmates proud just then!' I beamed at him before smacking him on a back, ignoring the festering glare he was sending in my general direction.
"This is no rabble of mindless Orcs. These are Uruk-Hai. Their armor is thick and their shields broad." Gimli was protesting about he Hornburg's stability when we finally caught up with them again. Theoden wasn't taking it very well, considering the color his face was turning. Or maybe he was choking?
"I have fought in many wars, master dwarf. I know how to defend my own Keep." He was staring menacingly down at Gimli, the only one he could actually manage to do that too...ahaha.
"Oh, so that's why you looked so old when we first met? My apologies." We all whirled around to stare at Legolas, whose eyes were as big as saucers, and he had his hands covering his mouth. I knew I'd rub off on him at some point in time. If Aragorn doesn't close his eyes, they might pop right out of his face. Gimli's chuckling, but Théoden looks about ready to run Legolas through with a fork or something.
"Are you implying something master Elf?"
"Oh no, he wasn't talking about you, no! He was talking about...that old box sitting right there. Yeah. He and the box are amazing friends." I inched closer to Théoden, noticing Legolas was still standing in the same position. Didn't look like he was going anywhere any time soon. "Between you and me, the box is the only one who listens to Ligulas anyways." Théoden gave me an understanding glance, a sympathetic one to Legolas, whose face was turning steadily redder, and continued on his way. Only then did I get t box in the back of the head. Right after I'd saved his butt too, no gratitude at all. I sent Legolas a glare and followed after Théoden.
"They will break upon this fortress like water on rock. Saruman's hoards will pillage and burn, we've seen it before. Crops can be re-sown... homes, rebuilt. Within these walls, we will out last them." He pointed out different areas as he talked, I wonder if he noticed no one was listening to him, well, other than Aragorn who was enraptured to hear his stories. I was busy flicking little pieces of stone at Legolas' ears and watching them twitch in response, who knew that elf could be so cute. Er.
"They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages. They come to destroy its people, down to the last child." Point proven. I believe that if Aragorn had the nerve too, he might knock Théoden of the wall and say it was a gust of wind so he could take over this place. Why, I don't know, its a shit hole.
"What would you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance." Théoden whirled around, and look like he was about to grab Aragorn's collar, but then thought better of it. I made a bet with Gimli that Aragorn could totally take Théoden in a fight. Legolas mumbled that we were juvenile, rude and immature.
"Coming from you, my dear OLD sir, that is quite a compliment." Gimli said while I smiled in the background. Legolas huffed and flounced off after Théoden and Aragorn who were still having their heated argument.
"Send out riders, my lord. You must call for aid." Aragorn leaned against the stonewall watching Théoden for his reaction. I think he's trying to give him a heart attack or something. I mean sure, he's old but really, I don't think it's that normal for a face to go that color, that often.
"And who will come? Elves? "Théoden pointed in mine and Legolas' direction, I bristled and was about to give him my opinion, but Legolas slapped his hand over my mouth. I swear I think he enjoys me licking him. "Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our friends as you. The old alliances are dead." He turned back away from us to look over his 'throne'.
"Gondor will answer." Aragorn said lazily, looking at his nails. I suppose now would be the time to tell him he really need a manicure or something, he nails were practically black with dirt.
"Gondor? Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell? Where was Gondor when our enemies closed in around us? Where was Gon... ? No, my lord Aragorn. We are alone." Well Aragorn just got a shower with Théoden's spit. Yucky. He didn't even flinch, but pretty boy beside me sure did...well, so did I.
"Get the women and children into the caves." Théoden was stomping around his keep yelling orders and biting everyone's head off, so of course, I decided to mock him. I only got caught when Legolas stated laughing when I copied some particularly rude gesture Théoden made.
"Are you quite finished my lady?" Théoden snarled through his vicious smile. I gave a nervous chuckle and jumped behind Legolas to hide, every now and then peeking around his side. Théoden huffed and continued on his merry march, where ever it was we were going. Shouting as he went. I missed part of his tirade right now.
"THERE IS NO TIME! WAR IS UPON US!!!" shouted Théoden, his eyes swirling madly in their sockets, I stuck my tongue out in disgust, and Legolas grabbed it. Ewww. Who knows where his hands have been. Oh dear, nasty thoughts...nasty thoughts!
"Move back! Move back!!" I was leaning against the wall watching the guards rushing about trying to get all the women and children into the caves. Some of them just wouldn't let them go. This one old woman was practically choking her son so he couldn't leave. Legolas asked what good it would do her if he stayed into the caves but was killed anyway; she kicked him in the balls in response. I snorted and then quickly hid behind the corner when he turned to glare. Legolas then walked around the corner, I guess he realized it was me and was going to give me a talking to, but he merely told me to follow him and stay quite. Surprisingly, I did just that. He led me to the armory, where we finally found Aragorn, throwing swords that he found unfit, all over the place. I was going to give him a piece of my mind about throwing sharp objects around when so many people were in this area. Legolas gave me a look before walking forward, so I returned the gesture. Gimli fell off his seat laughing when he saw it.
"Farmers, farriers, stable boys. These are no soldiers."
"Most have seen too many winters." Gimli grunted trying to reclaim his seat; he was fighting a losing battle.
"Or too few." Legolas muttered glancing at Aragorn who was pacing the room. He looked absolutely pissed I was tempted to ask him why, when I as interrupted by some old man making a fuss about being called an old man. How ironic. I slapped my palm to my face, casing all around me to gasp. Opps, guess that was the first time I'd ever performed that gesture, I gave a huge grin and gestured for the people to return to business, they all shook their heads and continued.
"Look at them. They're frightened. I can see it in their eyes." said Legolas, turning on the spot, pointing out different people who looked the most frightened, they all started when they noticed he was watching them. "Boe a hyn, neled herain dan caer menig." (And they should be... Three hundred against ten thousand.) It was like he was scoffing at Aragorn, which is one thing I've learned, you never scoff at Aragorn. Never.
"Si beriathar hyn, ammaeg na ned Edoras." (They have more hope of defending themselves here than at Edoras.) Aragorn snapped stopping his pacing. Finally it was making me dizzy.
"Aragorn, nedin dagor hen u-'erir ortheri. Natha daged dhaer." Legolas shouted pointing to the nearest person who happened to be me, so I grabbed his fist and shoved it to the young boy who was sitting next to me shining his piece of metal, errrr.. sword. Legolas' neck turned a nasty shade of red from this embarrassment. Aragorn's face was the same color, only from anger instead.
" Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn knocked the table over and stomped out of the room, I could hear him knocking things over as he went down the hall. Legolas made to go after him but I grabbed his arm to stop, and matched his glare when he turned to say something.
"Lavaut, Esme." (Let go, Esme.) He said threw gritted teeth. I shook my head and grasped his fist tighter.
"N'uma. Lle umkarnta engwar." (No. You'll only make it worse.) I said still tightening my hold every time he tried to jerk his hand out. Finally he stopped trying and I dropped his hand, and smiled at him. He continued to glare so I huffed at him and stalked off in the opposite direction. I could hear Gimli mutter something about Legolas coming after me, so I sped up and jumped ship. Well, not really, just climbed up to the highest part of the keep. Unfortunately Legolas found me there.
"Sorry, I just didn't want to let Aragorn walk away angry. He's been my friend for so long." Legolas said looking at his hands clasped in his lap. I looked at him, and he actually looked like his hard lifestyle was catching up with him. Nah, that was just the lighting.
"Enough with your pity party, I'm not joining you." I muttered staring out over the field, where a battle will take place in no time at all. "Anyway, are you ready for this?" I sat on my hands and started to kick my legs back and forth while staring at Legolas. I bet I managed to make myself look like a five year old. Excellent. Legolas merely shrugged his shoulders before turning to face me.
"That brings up what I wanted to ask you. Would you please stay in the caves with the women and children? I'm not trying to insult you so there is no need for you to blow up like a canary over this; I just think it might be better if you did." I noticed his hands come a little further up his lap. Ahah, glad to know cause fear in the hearts of men.
" No."
"Esme..."
'Absolutely not. How dare you even ask." I said glaring at his fat head. He glared back and shifted closer. I shook my head and scrunched my nose. He glared harder and shifted close so close I could feel his breathe on my shoulder. I continued to shake my head ignoring the blush that was rising on my cheeks from this close contact. He leaned in, I leaned back, he leaned forward, and I stopped. BLUSH...
"OH there you are lad! I've been looking every were for you." We both jumped about a foot apart, blood red. "Let's go you two we've got to finish getting ready." Gimli said, I could almost hear the laughter in his voice, so I grabbed the nearest object to throw at him, only it was Legolas' hand, which made me spazz and jump up and run back to the bottom of the keep. Oh dear that was awkward.
I found Aragorn glaring out over the wall of the keep, alone, and decided to change that.
"Hiya Aragorn!" I said walking forward. Aragorn replied by turning to face me with the biggest smirk I'd ever seen in my life, which made me change direction. "Biya Aragon" I walked as fast as I could as far as I could to get away from him. Stupid git. I'm gonna be getting that all day.
I finally decided to show my face again when I heard a horn blow from the entrance of the keep. I raced down to see a whole horde of Elves marching in, with Haldir in the front. Of course. I ran up to Haldir and gave him a huge bear hug before he could even say anything, Aragorn had to pry me off so that Haldir wouldn't die.
"I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. An alliance once existed between Elves and Men. Long ago we fought and died together." Haldir said pausing for the dramatic effect and you now how I am with dramatic mess. Of course I had to mess it up.
"YADA YADA! WELCOME HALDIR! Long time no see, how's Queen What's-her face?" There was a collective gasp from all the elven soldiers, Haldir's eyes looked ready to pop out of his face. Aragorn had to jerk me away rather quickly to keep Haldir from choking my brains out.
"Mae govannen, Haldir" (Well met Haldir.) Aragorn said, embracing a still panting Haldir. Legolas then walked forward to say his hellos and we filed out onto the wall. Haldir still itching to wrap his hands around my neck. I allowed him his distance just for that reason. But then I got lost. Just my luck.
I ended up finding Gimli first and decided to remain with him. Then Blondie popped up, he blushed at me and turned to face Aragorn, who was still wearing the same smirk. Glad to see those to fudgetards are friends again.
"You could have picked a better spot." Gimli grumbled and I looked down to find out why he was complaining. Now I can't stop laughing, the poor dwarf can't even see over the top o the wall. Legolas smirked at him. "Well lad, by the luck you live by let's hope it lasts through the night." Gimli said to Aragorn who was fighting to keep his laughter at bay.
"Your friends are with you, Aragorn." Legolas said trying to lift the mood that had settled over us all. This would be the biggest battle we've faced so far on our journey. Great.
"Let's hope they last the night." Gimli muttered, both me and Legolas whacked him the back of the head, the force sent him tumbling over, which caused me to start wheezing with laughter.
"You know, the only thing that would make this battle even more cliché, would be rain." I said jokingly, trying to lift the mood, watching the army of orcs come to a halt in front of us. Wanna guess what happened? It started raining. I let out a stream of curses that made some of the ors grunt in shock. That's amazing. Legolas snorted with laughter. Aragorn shook his head and proceeded to direct the warriors.
"A Eruchin,u-dano i faelas a hyn, an uben tanatha le faelas." (Show them no mercy for you shall receive none.) Aragorn walked amongst the ranks of elves, whispering esteem raisers, and boosting moral. Lame-O.
Gimli's been jumping up and down for the past ten minutes trying to see what's on the other side of the wall. I'm leaning against it trying to control my laughter. Legolas is just smirking down at Gimli's poor helpless self. To bad it's so funny, or I'd feel bad.
"What's happening out there?" Gimli finally grunted out when he was tired of jumping.
"Master Gimli, do you desire a box?" I asked at the exact moment Legolas too asked him whether he would like a box. We both started cracking up, and finally Gimli joined in, we only stopped when we heard Aragron yell out stop. Some stupid old man had let his arrow fly. Dumb humans. Now the stupid Orcs were raging angry. Growling and snarling up at us. SO I growled back at them, Gimli raised his eyebrow at me.
'Was that supposed to be intimidating lass?"
"Yeah, was it?" I smiled really big hoping the answer was a good one.
"It was like a cat with not teeth was trying to frighten a mouse." I glared and turned back to the battlefield in time to see the orcs charging our way. I was actually ready for this.
"Tangado a chadad." (Prepare to fire). Aragorn shouted, still watching the orcs charging forward. Looked like they were going to try to make the wall collapse by throwing themselves at it. Hopefully they weren't that dumb. That would be pitiful.
"Faeg i-varv di na lanc a nu ranc." (Their armor is weak at the neck and below the arm.) Legolas said awaiting the command to fire. And when it came a whole volley of arrows flew towards the on coming beasties. Gimli asked it hit anything, so I hit him to prove my point.
For the next couple of minutes me and Gimli played chess awaiting our time to fight. I mean geez, we'd appreciate the chance. Legolas has been glaring at us this whole time, I told him it was his fault he was so good at aiming and firing, when it came to bows and arrows anyway. He stalked back to wall and continued his torrent with new ferocity. I suppose you could say we brought out eh worst in him. Or the best depending on how you interpret it.
Finally we heard Aragorn yell out to release your swords, me and GIimli were the first two standing awaiting the onslaught about to appear, sure enough. We were standing right where a ladder was unloading.
"Buh-bye now!' I said smiling and waving to the orcs that had fallen with the ladder I knocked over. Too bad another one followed right afterward so I actually had to use my sword. I caught up with Legolas was running around with his two swords whacking this way and that way, never actually getting anywhere. I just waltzed around attacking here and there humming my own little tune in my head. Until one of them nicked me in my back.
"Excuse me! Who do you think you are?" I asked hunching over like and old woman trying to ease the pain. The ugly orc just smiled in my direction. So I punched him, somehow I'd misplaced y sword, lucky me. I think I heard some knuckles crack. The thing laughed harder. So I kicked it in the area where most men don't enjoy being kicked, he didn't even flinch. "What are you? A woman or a man? Cause you're way to ugly to be a girl, well I take that back, Eowyn is actually uglier than you. Do you know who I'm talking about? The thing nodded back. "Really amazing! Do you like her?" The thing shook his head. And I'm proud to say we sat and had a conversation about our hatred of Eowyn for almost thirty minutes before Legolas ran him threw with a sword. "GEORGE! Legolas! What did you do that for? We were have an intellectual conversation about how Eowyn is just trying to get her heartbroken! And you killed him!"
Legolas' mouth dropped open before he shook his head and headed off into the rest of the feud. I said my goodbye to George, grabbed his sword and followed after Legolas. My back aching worse and worse I kept on. I ended up accidentally killing an orc off to the side because I fell and stuck my sword out to slow my falling, too bad there was an orc there. Oh well, who cares. I finally caught up with Legolas who was whirling around in circles like he was trying to dance ballet. I looked at Haldir who looked at me. I stuck my tongue out. He glared. I killed the orc that was about to slash his back and kill him. I smirked at his bemused expression.
"I hate you." He grunted before stalking off. That made me want to sing. And that's just what I did.
I walk to the highest point on the deepening wall, and cleared my throat.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful
Don't hate me because I'm the best
Don't hate me because I'm the champion
Just love me like all the rest do"
I jumped down right in front of Haldir and sang in his face before waltzing off in the opposite direction.
Don't be jealous when you see me in my fancy clothes
Sexy cloaks straight form Lorien.
Don't be angry when I'm beating you in chess now.
Just be happy you got the chance to play.
And when I come to your town
Riding on horse with golden sheen.
It's only me
ME!
And when I come to your town
Riding on horse with golden sheen.
It's only me
ME!
Da da dada dada dada da dada
da da da dA da da da dadada
dadadadadad da da da da da da
da da!
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful
Don't hate me because I'm the best
Don't hate me because I'm the champion
Just love me like all the rest do
Love me
By the time I'd finished. The whole battled had come to a stand still, and was staring at me in total shock. I smiled bowed, and walked to pick my sword back up. People still hadn't moved. So I chopped the nearest orc's head off, still smiling, finally throwing people back into the mood.
Haldir still hadn't moved, and continued to stare at me with his mouth open until I slapped him.
"I still hate you." CLANG! I knocked his ass out with some shield laying around.
When I reached Gimli and Legolas again, they were fighting over who had more. I said hat I had more because I was a better fighter, Gimli was brave and said the reason I had more was because of my singing, so I knocked him out too. I turned to Legolas awaiting his smart comment and he just raised his hands before hightailing it out of my way. I smirked and leaned against the wall closest to me. At least it was helping my back to feel a little better.
For a while I thought we were going to win, but then Aragorn started shouting at Legolas about shooting something, and he was failing miserably. I couldn't even see what he was supposed to be shooting at. Then I noticed that something was running straight to the drain place of the keep, with fire in his hand. I ran to the wall to look see what he was planning on doing with the fire, and then I saw the bombs piled there. I knew we were screwed then. Legolas shot him five or six times and the thing still kept running, and it was in the last moment that I realized I was standing right over where the thing was headed. I sprinted out of the way just in time for the whole wall to collapse in that area. I thought I had made it out of that mess perfectly, until I slipped, whacked my chin and fell into a thing of water at the place of the explosion, by that time, orcs were filling in. I got up to run and ended up tripping again, only this time over Aragorn. Oh shit. Not good!
"Aragorn! Wake up! Aragorn!" I sat shaking his shoulder, and he gave me no response. "Look here dumbass, if you died from falling just then, I will somehow manage to bring you back to life, and kill you myself, because that would be pitiful. Now, GET, UP!" I shouted smacking his face, and he actually woke up. "Whoa, I did not think that would work."
"ESME!" Aragorn shouted before throwing me off of him to the side. I stood and began to march back to him before I realized what he did it for. "A little help don't you think?" Aragorn asked not stopping his destruction path.
"Aye, why not." I jumped in to join the fray, but stopped when I saw some girl sitting in a boat in the little puddle of water that remained. Beside the boat was some boy, with tears in his eye. I poked Aragorn in the shoulder and he too turned to watch. The orcs also stopped.
"How many have you loved before me Tristan?" asked the girl clutching his arm. Almost to the point off cutting his circulation off, it was turning purple.
"None Isolde."
"And after?" She asked again.
"None." The girl engulfed him in a hug before he pulled back and told her to get into the boat. By that time I had walked over to the two of them to get a closer glimpse. "Get in. For all time, they will say it was our love that brought down a kingdom. Remember us." He shoved the boat out into the middle of the puddle, the girl creaming his name and asking why the whole time in. I chose this moment to make my presence known.
"Young sir, do you realize that she is not going anywhere." At this the girl stopped her screaming and crying and got out of the boat. "And second, how can your love bring down a kingdom, when no one knows who you are?" The boy looked at the girl and then back at me before blinking confusedly.
"Aren't the Irish attacking D'Or as we speak?" He asked scratching his head. I shook my head no. He cursed, the girl gasped.
"OH honey, calm down, surely you've heard taht before. Anyway we were before; I think you might have the wrong story. Sorry to tell you." I gave the kids a sympathetic smile before walking back over to Aragorn.
"So, what was that about?" he asked staring over m shoulder them, they were in the midst of a heated discussion about something another.
"I don't think I can tell you? I'm confused my ownself." I said shrugging to Aragorn. He returned the gesture before turning back to the battle.
The next thing I knew we were joined by ranks of elves helping us to keep the orcs at bay.
"Oh boy, loook at him." I spotted Legolas picking up an orcs shield and throwing it on the ground, stepping on it, and sliding down killing orcs as he went. He then landed and shot the shield into another orc before standing in a hero's stance for a few seconds, and continuing his attack. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back trying to keep from slapping my forehead. I might stun some people. Legolas notices my state and comes over to ask whets wrong, I groan and walk in the opposite direction. That's when I heard Théoden yelling about us retreating back to the keep. Aragorn echoes his call, and we all turn to head back. Me and Legolas had to carry Gimli to finally get him to corporate, and that was misery right there. Crying and screaming about wanting to fight al the way into the gate. I dropped him ad turned to find Théoden yelling in my face, well, he happened to be where my face was yelling out orders. At least I have a little less dirt on my face.
"To the gate! Draw your swords. " Théoden proceeded to whip his sword out, almost disemboweling me as he went. Legolas snorted at my outraged face, so I punched him. He stopped then. Then I felt a twinge in my back, I'd forgotten all about my cut, I turned in circles trying to see it, before Legoles finally stopped me saying I was making him dizzy, and that I was an idiot. I stalked over to stand by Aragorn.
"Help them." Théoden asked Aragorn to help keep the orcs away from the gate, so Aragorn and Gimli went and attacked them on the entrance way. I could hear Gimli's war cries all the way in back of the keep. I had to lean against something to keep the pain from my back.
"Manke naa lle engwar?" (Are you ill?) Legolas asked scaring me out of my fitful silence I whipped around hoping he hadn't seen the cut on my back.
"No, I'm not injured, what are you talking about? Me by hurt, as if. What makes you think that?" I tried to act as if he was crazy, but the look he was giving me was scaring the mess out of me.
"Well for one, you're the one who said anything about being injured, and now that you mention it, you're dripping blood onto the ground."
"Damn. I knew that was me leaving the trail." I snapped my finger and tried to change the subject. Stupid elf wouldn't be shaken off.
"Where?"
"What are you talking about Legolas?"
"Where. Are. You. Bleeding."
"No need to act like I'm an idiot."
"WHERE!" He was breathing hard and glaring, so I finally turned around and lifted my tunic. 'See. Now was that so hard? We need to get that cleaned and dressed, come along." I dropped my tunic and made to follow him, huffing as loudly as I could the whole way down the all. "Lay on there." He pointed to a table in the middle of a hall full of soldiers running around to find things to plug the door.
"Put people eat on there!" I tried to inch away but he turned right as I reached the door.
"Esme..."
"Alright I'm going!" I jumped on the table fast than you can say, er..fast! That was lame. Legolas pulled all this stuff out of the bag and set it down beside me.
"Shirt up." He said finally turning to face me.
"EXCUSE ME?!"" I shouted. Since when was Legolas that kind of a man.
"Esme, I need you to pull your shirt up so that I may clean and wrap the wound, I don't want you to flash me." He was slapping his palm to his forehead the whole time he said this.
"Oh, I knew that." He nodded before beginning to clean my stupid cut. "Legolas.
"What?"
"Have you ever heard of lotion?"
Author's Note: I tried to make it long to make up for my absence! SO let me know what you think!