Chapter 20 — Carlie's Father?

*** Warning: This chapter contains mature and/or graphic content. If you are sensitive to such things, then do not continue. ***

BPOV

I looked at the box he held out in front of us and gasped as he opened it.

"I want you to take this back."

Edward held in front of me a dark blue and brownish yellow sapphire ring. It was the ring he had given me in high school the night of the fall dance—the first dance we went to as an official couple.

"Be my girl again," he whispered—his warm breath fanning out against my cheek.

I took a moment to gather my wits before turning around completely. Settling cross-legged between his legs, I blew out a breath and looked at him. "Before I give you an answer, there are a couple of more things you need to know. You might not want me back when you hear the rest."

"Nothing could make me not want you, not love you, Bella. Nothing," he insisted, looking me straight in the eyes as he took my left hand in his, playing with my fingers.

He fell silent, waiting, knowing I needed to get everything out in the open.

"During my last year at the academy, I met this guy. His name was Raoul Kelly." I shuddered after saying his name. That was the first time that I'd been able to say his name aloud, and I think it was because Edward was with me. "I had met him at a dance club Alice and Rosalie had dragged me to on one of our girls' night out. I was at the bar getting another round of drinks when he approached me. He charmed me and was soon asking for my number. I was so caught up in his charming Texas manner that I didn't see anything that should have alerted me that he wasn't who he seemed—that he was dangerous. Jasper had tried to make me see that he was just after one thing."

I dove into the story, more tears welling in my eyes. I felt Edward squeeze my hand. I wanted to let go but at the same time didn't. I allowed myself that one comfort.

Edward's silent encouragement gave me the strength to go on.

"Bella," Jasper said after Raoul left. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course you can," I said as he joined me on the back deck of my apartment, leaning against the railing with me.

"I don't like Raoul. He's not good for you."

"You just don't see him like I see him. And it would be weird, not to mention gross, if you did."

Jasper sighed and turned me to face him. "You don't see the kind of control he has over you. You jump when he wants something, no matter what it is."

"I do not!" I shouted, offended.

Jasper put up his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Just listen," he said, calming me with his gentle voice. "That's all I ask."

I didn't respond, knowing I would spew something that I would later regret.

"I see how you look at him, and I'm happy you found someone. Really I am."

"Why are you saying anything, then?"

"I care about you, Bella—you're like a sister to me. And if you were really my sister, I would still be saying the same things and a whole lot more to Raoul. And just like I don't want anything to happen to Rosalie, I don't want to see you get hurt."

I didn't say anything. I heard what Jasper was saying. He and Emmett were my brothers, despite having no blood relation. And, if I was being honest, Alice and Rosalie were my sisters.

"Raoul doesn't look at you with admiration or love. He looks at you like you're some sort of conquest. He wants to get you into bed and nothing more."

"You're wrong, Jazz. He told me he loves me, and I love him. We've even talked marriage."

Jasper was taken aback by what I said and my fierce tone. I had never spoken that way to any of my friends. True they had been witness to my fury when someone pissed me off, and I knew they did everything they could to avoid being on the receiving end.

"That's great if he means it," he said in a placating tone.

"Get out," I said, pointing through the patio door to the front door. "I want you out of my sight." I was seething.

"A week after the confrontation with Jasper, Raoul arrived at my apartment plastered. He was far from his charming self, and I sensed it immediately. I tried to get him to leave, but he wasn't having it."

I was shaking slightly, and not from the chill in the early-June air. Edward made to pull me into his arms. I shook my head.

"I won't be able to continue if you hold me," I said, squeezing the hand I was still holding. I started again after taking a few deep breaths; I had to get this out.

"Stop being a… tease," Raoul slurred as he pushed me inside my apartment and away from him. He slammed the door, only the door didn't shut, it rebounded from the force. He lurched toward me, a little unsteadily.

"Raoul, sweetie, you're drunk," I stated in a calm voice. "You don't know what you're doing."

"Shut up, bitch. I know exactly what I'm doing," he said, slapping me hard across the face.

The force of the blow sent me sailing. I landed hard against the opposite wall, sliding down it. He was immediately on me, tearing off my clothes.

"Stop it!" I shouted, trying to getting his hands off me. I was fighting him left and right.

Raoul slapped me again.

Tears started coursing down my face. Raoul was scaring me. The conversation I had with Jasper played in my mind.

'He looks at you like your some sort of conquest. He wants to get you into bed and nothing more.'

"I told you to shut up, bitch. I'm going to take what I want, what you should've given me by now." He kissed the side of my neck before sinking his teeth in.

I unconsciously rubbed at the spot, even though his mark was long gone, thanks to a great plastic surgeon. I peeked at Edward; there was agony painted on his face and tears shimmering in his eyes, threatening to spill over. What I was telling him was hurting him, but he wasn't going to stop me.

I screamed, but he just sank he teeth in further as his hands continued tearing off my clothes.

"Don't bother screaming, teasing bitch—no one will hear you, and you'll be dead by the time I'm done with you or nearly," he whispered against my ear as his hands closed roughly on my now exposed breasts.

I bit my lip to keep from screaming again. I knew it was pointless. There was a loud party going on next door. Raoul was right; nobody would hear me. The pain, from his bite, was unbearable, but it was nothing compared to what he did next. He jammed three fingers inside me, and it felt like I was being ripped in two. This time, I couldn't hold back my scream as he invaded me with his fingers.

He pulled back. "Scream again, tease, and you will be begging me to kill you."

I gave Edward's hand other squeeze. I couldn't continue down that road, and it should be pretty clear what happened.

"Bella, you're-you're awake!" Alice exclaimed, coming into view with a tear-streaked face and bloodshot eyes, like she hadn't slept in days. "Jazz, let Charlie and the doctor know."

I moved my head and saw Jasper right before he walked out of the room. "How do you feel?" she asked, taking a seat next to me.

I was still trying to process what she had said prior to asking me how I was feeling.

"Confused and in pain, lots of pain," I answered honestly as the Charlie ran into the room. Where did he come from?

"Bells," Charlie sobbed with anguish, relief, and tears in his voice. "Thank heavens you're awake."

"The doctor came in, kicking everyone but Charlie out. She started examining me, asking me questions. Mainly my full name, date of birth, the date—I was shocked to learn I had the date wrong. I had been unconscious for over two weeks. I was informed that I was in a medically induced comma so my body could heal from the trauma, but had been weaned off the drugs. It had taken five days for me to finally come around. I had everyone worried when I wouldn't wake up."

I looked at Edward, and like me, he had tears coursing down his face. That would make the third time he's cried with me. I went on, needing to finish.

"When Charlie and I were alone again, I told him I wanted to go to the place I felt safe. He arranged for me to be released into a Star Command doctor's care and for me to be taken to Scotland. It was when I arrived at my grandparent's house that I got really sick. The doctor in charge of my care was called and blood was drawn. A day or two later, I learned I was pregnant. The doctor wouldn't let me travel until the illness subsided, and I was further along in my recovery from the rape. After a couple of months in Scotland, I was recovered and together enough, not to mention no longer violently sick, to go back to the academy. Charlie, through Vance, had arranged for my assignments to be sent to me, so I never fell behind."

I closed my eyes, letting out a gusty breath.

"One day, after I'd returned and had a trying day, I broke down trashing the front room—I was alone, or so I thought, in the apartment I shared with Alice and Rosalie. I didn't fight them when they said my things were at their apartment, or when they said I was moving in with them. Anyway, I had just finished trashing the living room when I turned to see Jasper leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He said nothing as he wrapped me up into his arms, letting me crying. He held me until I fell asleep and stayed with me until Alice got home from class—he'd even cleaned up the mess I'd made."

I laughed through my tears for a moment. "You know the funny thing, now that I'm thinking back—I never told Charlie or anyone that Scotland wasn't where I considered my safe haven." I was fell silent, finished with that part of the story. I knew he would ask what Charlie hadn't and I would answer.

"Where, Bella? Where is your safe haven?" Edward asked with a voice thick from crying. He cupped my face, wiping a stray tear away.

"Here, right here in Forks," I answered as I finally allowed him to pull me into his arms. There was still one thing I had to tell him, and I could tell him without leaving his embrace. "When Charlie found out I was pregnant, he arranged for the lawyer representing me to have Raoul sign away his rights to any child born as a result of the rape. I couldn't have been more surprised when I was given a copy of the signed document."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Make it or break it time. Edward would either hate me or accept what I did. "Hours after Carlie was born, I was asked if I wanted the father's name on the birth certificate. I said yes, having thought long and hard about that already. Charlie was shocked, but I didn't give Raoul's name." I bit my lip, worrying it. Here's goes everything. "I named you as Carlie's father. I hoped you would accept her as your own, if anything happened to me, despite the fact we hadn't seen each other in years."

He hugged me tighter against him. "I would have," he whispered. There was no trace of shock in his voice, only love, pure love.

Edward and I just held each other. I felt so safe right now. We fell into a comfortable silence, both of us crying. We cried for many reasons: over the loss of Carlie—our daughter—for all the lost time we could've had together, for all the pain our long separation threw at us, and for the love we still felt for each other.

A half hour later, Edward broke the silence and, with a tear-filled voice, spoke. "I wish I had been there for you and Carlie. I wish I had fought for you, for us, when you left after graduation. There is nothing I can do about that now, but—" he hesitated.

This was the moment I was dreading and the tears started again.

"But it doesn't matter, none of it. I love you, and I'll fight for you, with you. I won't let you go this time, not without one hell of a fight."

"I know," I said, my voice tightening as I cried harder. It took a moment for me to calm. "To answer your question, yes, if you still want me. I need you in my life and everything was leading me back here, back to you."

He pulled me closer, turning me in his lap and kissing me as he slipped the ring on my finger.

"My fight for you starts right here, Bella. At the place we first met." He brought my left hand to his lips, kissing my finger and the ring. Drawing me tight against him, he kissed my temple whispering, "I will always love you. I need you in my life, too."

I smiled against his chest, my arm going around him. Breathing in his scent, I felt like I was home.

There was something I needed to ask him to do for me. Pulling back slowly, I swallowed the lump in my throat before saying, "I can't relate the full story again, but your parents need to know. I want them to know. Will you tell them?"

Edward nodded, and I relaxed back against his chest and cried—the tears were freeing, cleansing. I knew he was still crying with me. I woke the next morning not knowing when exactly we got back or why I was in the guestroom off the kitchen no less, but I didn't care. I had a raging headache from all the crying, but it was good to feel anything other than the pain of losing someone. It had been one emotional night.

I held my hand up in front of me. The ring from Edward on my hand felt right, as did knowing he would never let me go without a fight. I got out of bed and prepared to face what the day brought. I was happy for the first time in a long time and to think I owed it all to Bare Necessities.

EPOV

I hadn't expected Bella to tell me anymore, and I was puzzled when she said that I might not want her after hearing the rest of what she had to tell me. Didn't she realize I would love her no matter what? That nothing she could tell me would change my mind. Gazing into her eyes, I could see that she needed to tell me before taking the ring back. I wasn't going to stop her.

She started by telling me how she met a guy and what Jasper had told her. I couldn't understand why he would say what he did and then turn around saying he was glad she was happy. Though, I was only hearing her side. Jasper had to have had good reasons for talking with her. I had to give him credit, he had some guts to face Bella's temper.

When she started trembling—from what I could only imagine—it hurt that she wouldn't let me wrap my arms around her, to comfort her, to lend her my strength. I might not have fully understood but was content, for the moment, to just hold her hand, squeezing it back letting her know I was there for her.

When she was finally able to continue, I was appalled by what the bastard did to her. I wanted to ask questions but knew she had to get it all out, had to tell me. Luckily, she had friends that cared and were there for her when I wasn't in her life. I pulled into my arms when I thought she was done—I was wrong, there was more, but she didn't pull away.

It came as no surprise to me when she said I was who she named as Carlie's father. Even before she confirmed what I somehow already comprehended, I knew I would've accepted Carlie as my own had Bella contacted me. I would've protected them both with my life. I should've been surprised by that realization, but then again, I've always felt that way, and I planned on doing everything I could to protect Bella.

I cried with Bella for the longest time once we had said everything that needed to be said. When she stilled in my arms, I just sat there and let her fall into a sleep. It was nearing dawn, by the looks of the sky, and I wasn't ready to go. So I continued to sit there and watched the sun come up. Once it was painting the sky in brilliant shades of orange, yellow, and red, I stood with Bella in my arms. As I drove home, I turned on the CD and found Bare Necessities. Who would have known that this song would change our lives, not once, but twice?

Alice and Jasper were just getting out a car when I pulled in. I shut off the car and greeted them after getting out. "Jasper, Alice" I said, shaking their hands. "I know we've just met and everything, but could I speak with the both of you."

"Uh, sure," Jasper answered, sharing a look with Alice before I gathered Bella into my arms, leading the way through the front door Mom had just opened.

"Later," I told her as I walked toward the downstairs guestroom. When I returned to the living room, I was met with puzzled looks on not only Jasper and Alice's faces, but also Charlie's and my parents.

Ignoring the questions in my mother's eyes, I turned to Alice and Jasper. "I want to thank you both for being there when Bella needed you."

"Which time?" Jasper asked, realizing I knew something.

There was more than time!

"Let's all sit, and I'll tell you what she told me," I said, looking at my parents. I didn't know how Mom was going to take it. But I did know she wasn't going to like what I was going to say.