The force of his stomach ache jerked Edward out of his sleep, teeth gritted. The cramping had him squeezing his eyes shut, holding his breath to try to ride it out without waking Roy, who was still asleep next to him. Thankfully, it soon ebbed, but Ed lay panting and confused. Sure, he'd had stomach aches before, but this…this was different, much more intense and painful.

And it kept coming back; the cramping had started when he went to bed, but it had gone almost as quickly as it had come, so Edward hadn't worried about it. But now he was feeling the same thing…

Maybe it was worse because he was lying down? Hadn't he heard at some point that certain positions could make stomach cramps worse?

Whatever. It was worth a shot.

Ed slid out of bed slowly, pausing whenever Roy's breathing changed. Soon enough he'd made it out from under the covers, and he tiptoed across the floor into the hallway. Once there, he allowed himself to walk normally, heading automatically in the direction of the kitchen.

Five minutes later, and Edward was sitting on the couch munching on a piece of toast. Now, more awake, he was almost embarrassed to have gotten up. Sure, it had hurt—but he felt perfectly fine now. Really, he could have just gone back to sleep…

The sofa was awfully comfortable. Ed sunk into it absentmindedly, eyelids drooping. He'd get up in a minute; with his cramping gone and his stomach nicely filled, he just didn't have the energy to move right then…

"Ah!" Again, just on the edge of sleep, Edward was pulled back into the waking world by that stupid pain in his abdomen. And it was worse this time! Tears sprang up in his eyes and he hissed through his teeth. What was this? Had he eaten something bad?

Was his baby okay?

This thought came just as the pain receded, and it brought Ed up short. He patted his bump fearfully, focusing, trying to feel something. And there! Just a tiny movement, but a movement nevertheless. He sighed, relieved, and then bit his lip. Whatever this was, it certainly didn't get better when he moved out to the couch—sitting up wasn't doing anything for him.

Edward stood up, slowly, just in case the movement would hurt, and made his way back to the bedroom. The lingering memory of the cramp made him less careful, and Roy huffed gently in his sleep as Ed climbed into bed, snuggling his way into the man's arms.

Heart thumping, he waited anxiously for another throb of pain—but none came. Edward realized he'd been clenching up, tense, and relaxed his muscles just as he got the oddest feeling…

"What the fuck?" he jerked up, momentarily forgetting Roy and causing the man to start, blinking at him. Ed couldn't pay attention to that though; all he could notice was the wetness spreading between his legs.

"Ed?" Roy asked, before his brows drew together in confusion. The man lifted up the blanket to reveal a dark wetness spreading out across the sheet.

The confusion didn't last long. Pale, Edward looked at Roy and breathed, "I'm pretty sure my water just broke."

The black eyes before him widened, and then the cover was tossed away as Roy stumbled out of bed. Ed heard him stumbling down the hall and followed cautiously, nerves making him tense up once more. By the time he reached the kitchen, Roy was already on the phone.

"Come on, come on, pick up…" the man murmured, bouncing nervously and pulling Edward to him. There was a pause, then: "Ted! Thank goodness, I know it's late, but—Ed's water just broke."

Roy listened for a moment, and then turned to Edward. "Does your stomach hurt? In little bursts?"

Oh, Ed was an idiot. He felt his face growing even paler, if that was possible. Unable to speak, he nodded mutely.

As if from far away, he heard Roy relay this message and then hang up the phone before bending down to look him in the eye. "Ed?"

Edward tried to focus, but he'd never been so scared before. He was going into fucking labor.

"Ed, come on, it's going to be okay. Here," Roy murmured, trying to soothe him as he guided Ed to the couch. "Just sit tight, I'm going to wake up Alphonse and throw on some clothes, and then we're going to meet Ted at the hospital. You're going to be alright."

It seemed like no time at all had passed before Roy was back, with Alphonse in tow, and they were piling into the car. It wasn't until then that Edward realized he was shaking.

"I can't do this," he whispered. "There's no way."

"Yes, you can, Brother," Al answered, rubbing his back. "Come on, you're the bravest person I know, if anyone can handle this it's you."

Edward was spared from having to answer by another contraction. He spotted Roy glancing in the rearview mirror. The man muttered to himself, so quietly Ed was sure he wasn't supposed to hear, "Why are they coming so fast?" He swore, after that, that they sped up just a little.

Everything was a blur as he was rushed into the hospital, shoved into a gown, and shown to a labor room. Nothing seemed to make sense until Ted showed up.

He was calm, probably because watching and aiding in this process was his job. Still, it was odd for Ed to be so worked up and have his doctor not worried at all. "You're a little early, Ed, but that's alright, you'll be fine. Now, make sure to breathe—you won't be giving birth right away, this is a bit of a process."

Roy jumped in. "His contractions are coming pretty close—how long would you say it's been, Ed?"

Edward took a deep breath, trying to relax himself a little. "The last two were a little over a half hour apart, I think."

This news seemed to concern the man, who turned back to Ted anxiously. "That's not normal, is it? Doesn't it usually take a while for the contractions to get that close?"

The doctor nodded slowly, musing. "If I had to guess, I'd say it's because the part of him that's still male has just about had it with the baby. Most of his body wants to get rid of it as soon as possible. It's just like how his morning sickness came very early on; everything seems to move faster with him. That might be why he's about a week early, too."

Just then, another contraction. Edward tried to take Ted's advice and breath, but that was easier said than done. He felt Roy's hand on his arm, helpless. Then it was over.

Ed looked at the doctor desperately, and Ted spoke. "Ed, I want you to lie on your side. If it hurts, we can change positions, but for now that might ease the pain a bit, and it should slow the birth a little bit. We can't have this baby coming out too early."

Nodding, Edward rolled over on the bed, curling up just slightly. Roy moved to sit in the chair beside his bed, but Ed motioned him up and the man sat beside him, running his fingers through his hair. Edward closed his eyes, breathing slowly and deeply.

Meanwhile, Ted kept talking, going through the procedure. "Now, I've set everything up so you can go ahead and have the baby in here. When the contractions get close enough, I'm going to have you try to squat—delivering a baby lying down is, realistically, not the best option even for women, and with you it's going to be even harder. Squatting will let gravity help you, and I'll be there to catch the baby, of course."

A second weight joined him on the bed as Alphonse sat on Ed's other side, another comforting presence. Edward opened his eyes and caught sight of Ted smiling at him reassuringly. "I'm going to leave you alone for a bit and go get the nurses—this baby's not going to wait for long, so we'll need them ready."

Ed nodded and watched as the doctor exited the room.

"It's going to be okay, Ed," Roy murmured. "You'll do fine."

"What if my baby gets stuck?" he asked, voicing his number one concern.

"Brother, I'm sure Ted has a backup plan in case that happens. He's looking out for you, you don't have to worry so much."

"What if I pass out?" Ed muttered petulantly.

"You won't," Roy said confidently. "Remember your automail? I hear you were awake the whole time for that. You can handle this."

Another contraction came, and Edward whimpered. They were getting awfully close. He just wasn't prepared for this—but he didn't have a choice.

At that moment, Ted came back into the room, followed by two nurses. He was already talking. "Now, once you deliver, Ronda here will take the baby into the next room for cleanup, and bring it right back, so don't worry. While she's doing that, Melissa will be fixing you up—I hate to tell you this, but I expect some tears in your anal tissue, so she'll be treating those. How are we doing?"

"They're closer together," Ed answered, a little panicky.

Ted stepped closer, squatting to meet Edward's eyes where he lay. "Ed, let me tell you something. I've delivered countless babies, and I've never lost one. I won't lie, there have been complications, and a couple babies were stillborn, but I've never had a baby die during delivery. You're going to be just fine—if you can't handle a natural birth, my backup plan is to do a C-section. I'd prefer it not come to that, but one way or another, you're going to have your baby. Okay?"

Reassured, Ed nodded again and breathed in deeply.

An hour later, Edward thought he was going to die. The contractions were coming fast and furious now, and everything hurt. Even Ted had lost his carefree attitude, adopting a serious expression.

"Ed, I think it would be a good time for you to get in position now."

Edward got up, wincing and holding onto Roy for support. He looked around for something to hold onto, when the man whispered, "Don't worry, I've got you."

"Okay," Ed answered, panting. Using Roy for leverage, he squatted down where Ted directed.

It was, quite possibly, the most embarrassing moment of his life when the doctor got down on the floor and began inspecting his ass. "Very good, Ed, you're pelvis is opening up and your muscles seem to be loosening nicely. You're going to be fine—it won't be very long now."

Edward gasped as another contraction came, grunting and squeezing Roy's hands so hard it had to have hurt. Through tear-blurred vision, he spotted Alphonse pacing nervously.

Ted, still underneath him, whistled. "I lied—it's now, Ed. When the next contraction comes, push as hard as you possibly can. It should only be—"

Right then. Edward pushed, a scream coming out of him despite his best efforts as he felt himself being stretched to the max. This was too much, way too much—he kept pushing but didn't have the energy, it hurt so bad, how did women handle this—

"Ed, come on, you're almost there, you have to push!" Ted shouted, hands positioned to catch his baby.

A panic gave him the strength to push again, past the pain. He had to get his baby out. Screaming once more, he pushed with another contraction, putting everything he had into it—

A second, shriller wail of a scream joined his.

Edward sagged, spent, tears running down his face. Roy lowered him down gently as Rhonda came in, snipping the cord and taking the baby.

Ted was ecstatic. "I knew you could do it! Very good, Ed, very good. Now, Roy—if you could just get him up on that table over there so Melissa can take care of him."

Ed winced as he felt familiar arms lift him up and carry him over to the indicated table. He could feel the blood dripping out of him, and his ass hurt like hell. Still, he managed a tiny smile. He had a baby.

Having the nurse, Melissa, messing around with his backside would have been more awkward if he wasn't so exhausted; he didn't have the energy to care, just kept looking up at Roy's face above him, which was happier than he could have imagined.

He wavered in and out of consciousness, only really becoming alert when Roy moved him again, back to the bed. Ed spoke for the first time, voice coming out raspy. "Don't I get to see my baby?"

Ted laughed, and waved Rhonda in. "Congratulations, Ed," he announced. "You've got yourself a little girl."

"Aw, congrats, Brother! I still wish it had been a boy…"

Edward grinned hugely, holding out his arms for the bundle Rhonda was carrying over. A girl! He knew it!

"What should I put down on the certificate for the name?" Ted asked.

"Alice…" Ed murmured, looking down at his baby. First: elation. This was beyond amazing—he'd never felt so attached to anything. He never wanted to let her go. But his second reaction was horror—because Alice didn't get her black peach fuzz from him. Nor those narrower, deep black eyes…

A muted exhale of shock sounded above him. Edward looked up to see Roy staring down at Alice, recognizing just a little too much of himself in her features. He tried to find something to say—but what could he say?

"And who should I put down as the caregiver in the unlikely event that you're indisposed, Ed?" Ted continued, not noticing the sudden chill in the room.

"Me," Roy answered, disbelief coloring his voice. "It's me, isn't it, Ed? I'm the father."

Ted turned around, wide eyed, and then apparently thought better of it, looking back at the papers he held. Alphonse could only gape, eyes darting between Edward and Roy and Alice.

"Yeah," Ed answered, not daring to look the man in the eye. "Yeah, you are. But—I mean—I can explain—"

But it was too late. Roy had stepped away from his bedside, shaking his head, and just kept moving backwards, turning only as he reached the door.

And walked out.

Whoa. Big chapter. I thought about separating it, but I liked the flow, and besides, I wanted to get this out since some of you were guessing what was going to happen XD Shoutout to Paperflowers101 and the guest reviewer who saw that I was headed in the "baby looks like Roy" direction!

Don't worry. This isn't the end.

Hope you enjoy~