Disclaimer: Still not ever going to be mine. I should be use to it by now. I'm going sandbox diving if can't have... I'm now an official Borrower! Got a badge and everything... it's legit... ask Sammy and Dean. I gave them one too. LOL

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Chapter 20

They were still lounging around in the living room, the cat on Sammy's lap as it stared at Dean while Dean tried to pretend it wasn't. Sammy dozed in the recliner while Dean watched him as they waited for Bobby to return. It was quiet enough Dean could hear the clock tick in the other room. Dean's thoughts drifted, Time seemed to be in slow motion at the moment; the tick tock of that clock just might drive him crazy before Bobby got back.

Dean jumped up as if spring loaded when he heard Bobby pull up and as he looked at the cat he told her, "Watch him, while I'm gone…" Then he thought as soon as he said the words out loud, Shit, I'm talking to a cat like it knows what I'm saying… I must be more tired than I thought.

Boo responded with a meow which caused Dean to shake his head as he left the room.

From the porch Dean watched Bobby turn the truck around and back it in close to the porch. As he got out of the cab he swung the door shut. When he looked up he smiled at Dean, "Ready to get to work? I'm hoping to have the shelves ready before the books get here."

"Do you want to build them out here or build them in place?" Dean asked as he came down the steps to stand by Bobby.

"Well, let's cut everything, and then stain. After it dries we can move everything inside and build it there." Bobby said as he started to pull the top boards off the truck.

Hours later they had measured, cut and stained all the wood and as they waited for them to dry Dean stared off down the long driveway seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"How about some grub?" Bobby asked as he looked at Dean while he simultaneously he pulled off his cap and wiped at his brow with his shirt sleeve.

"Oh, yeah." Dean said as he remembered, "How about Sammy and I BBQ for you? That's one of the things I went into town for earlier. It was Sammy's idea." Dean announced as he started towards the house.

"You and Sammy are going to cook for me?" Bobby asked surprise evident in his voice, unsure if that was a good idea or not. To let the boys near lighter fluid, fire and his grill at the same time… He couldn't help the image that popped into his head of the last time that Dean had helped him add the lighter fluid to the grill when he was about twelve. "I still remember the last time you helped me BBQ." Bobby frowned as he looked at Dean.

Dean smiled as he teased Bobby, "Dude I was twelve and I said I was sorry. I even gave you my baseball cap to wear. By the way you never gave it back, what'd you ever do with it?"

"Upstairs in my room. What? Are you going to wear it?" Bobby asked with a smirk.

"Watch it old man, your eyebrows have grown back… they could go again. Besides, I used to BBQ all the time with Ben. Lisa used to say it was good." Dean stated with a smile at the memory.

"He kept his eyebrows and hair?" Bobby joked as he quickly looked at Dean. It wasn't normal for Dean to voluntarily bring them up or talk about his time with them.

Dean looked at him as he told him, "Sorry, Sammy and I were talking about them earlier." He bit his lip before he blurted out, "I'm worried Bobby. He was fine when I left earlier but now he seems… I don't know… down." Dean shrugged not sure if he had the wording right.

Bobby said, not even missing a beat with the change in topics, "Well, we'll just have to keep him busy until he gets his feet solidly on the ground again." Bobby clapped Dean on the back and then headed for the front door.

Dean went into the living room to wake Sammy and Bobby headed straight for the kitchen. Dean rushed into the kitchen a few minutes later, bellowing as he skidded to a stop, "Bobby!"

Bobby startled which caused him to drop the shaker he was in the process of carrying over to the counter. "Shit, Dean… maybe you need a bell."

"Did Sammy tell you he was going outside? Have you seen him since we came in?" Dean rushed out as he stared intently at Bobby.

"No… why?" Bobby asked as he stopped what he was doing to look at Dean.

"He's not in the house and he left Sam's cell on the end table in the bedroom." Dean said quickly as his eyes darted around the kitchen, taking everything in.

"Well he probably took the cat out. I forgot to tell him I got cat food, litter and a litter box while I was out earlier. Why don't you go find him and let him know? Then we can get that BBQ started. I'm starving." Bobby told him with a grin. Dean would never change. He was always going to worry if Sammy was out of site.

"Yeah, okay." Dean said distracted as he turned and headed for the front door, but before getting out of the kitchen he turned again and went out the backdoor.

Bobby shook his head, he'd better find Sammy soon or Sammy was going to be put on a very short leash when he did find him.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled as he searched the back of the property first. He then headed around to the garages as he continued to yell. He didn't find anything there or around the cars. He circled back around to the telling tree with the tire swing. It was the place where they could to tell each other anything with no worry of retribution. It was a get out of jail free zone for them. Sammy had used it when he'd dropped Dean's favorite baseball card in the toilet when Sammy was six. Dean had used it for when he'd melted Sammy's favorite G. I. Joe in the fire pit in the backyard right after the baseball card incident. He was surprised to find Sammy was seated on the ground, back propped against the tree. The cat was nowhere to be seen.

"Sammy, why didn't you answer me?" Dean asked, aggravated. The aggravation turned to concern when he received no response to his question. He knelt beside Sammy to look him over. He seemed physically okay. But he wasn't answering Dean. So Dean tried again, "Is there something you need to tell me? Something you were afraid I'd be mad about?"

Still nothing. No movement and no answer to his questions.

"Dude, this is not funny. Bobby is waiting on us to do the BBQ. So, I really need you to talk to me." Dean touched Sammy's arm. "Sammy… did the cat run away? Is that why you got upset?" Dean tried to guess what the problem was.

The no movement at all thing was really starting to freak him out.

Dean grabbed him by the arms and shook him, "Damn it! Sammy answer me."

When he still got no response from him he sat down beside Sammy and watched him. He was breathing okay Dean decided has he stared at Sammy's chest to verify a steady in and out of air. Dean closed his eyes for a brief moment as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. What the hell happened? Why wasn't Sammy responding to him? Had he remembered more of his body's activities or was he remembering hell itself?

Dean reached out and took Sammy's hand in his and just sat there holding his hand before finally starting to talk. "It never got easier… the loosing you. I got better at hiding it, but it never got to the point where I could say 'Yes my brother died for me… but I still have the good memories to cling to.' Fuck that Sammy. I want the real deal! You with your silly quirks and brain man that you are. I'm selfish… I want…"

Sammy blinked which instantly caused Dean to stop what he was saying. He leaned in close and stared. It looked like Sammy's pupils enlarged just a little in reaction to Dean's movement.

"Sammy?" Dean asked as he touched Sammy's cheek and feathered up to brush hair back from Sammy's eyes, "You really need a haircut, bro."

Sammy blinked again but made no other movement.

"Sammy, can you hear me?" Dean was starting to feel twinges of some major panic. Like the kind that always ended up with him and an ambulance.

"D." Sammy barely made a sound but it was enough for Dean to hear.

Dean's sigh of relief was loud in the quiet as he pulled Sammy into a hug, patted him once and pulled back to look at Sammy, "Sammy."

"D." Sammy breathed out again, still not focused on anything.

Dean sat back further as he looked at Sammy, "Sammy… look at me."

Finally after several agonizing seconds of waiting for Dean; Sammy finally focused on him as he struggled to look him in the eye.

TBC

Story Note: For some reason when I uploaded this it left out certain words in the middle of sentences. I think I found everything. But if not, please let me know and I will fix it! ~iamtryN Crissi