Chapter 19

Jobs That Bite Harder

"I'm not a drawing expert, which I am."

-Robert Benfer

Sometimes I get to thinking about the stuff that's been done and the stuff that we have to do. Sometimes I get unwound. I wonder what's going to happen next... I wonder what's going to happen after Ganondorf falls. Is all going to be well in the neighborhood? Moreover, what about the order Link will organize? (Interestingly, the mark of the Assassin was still on his finger- seven years ago. Time travel is very confusing) What about the time he lost sleeping?

I wonder so much, and I can answer so little. It makes me want to sit down and never move again. I wonder if we would ever settle down. Link's not one to turn someone away. He's changed so much since we met, and for that I am very proud of him. He's no longer the shy, withdrawn pansy we met seven years ago. He grew up.

Heh, maybe he could get with Malon. She's cute enough, and she's certainly trustworthy enough!

In my darkest hours when I feel like I should just give up, I think of Navi and I think of Link.

We're almost done. I'm... call me nuts, but I'm looking forward to seeing Link turn Ganondorf's Castle into a parking lot.

When we returned to the past, we didn't spend a minute talking about what to do. We all knew what we needed to do, and we also knew that Gerudo Desert was far enough from Death Mountain to avoid any consequence, even if it erupted. We weren't on a clock like when we went to the bottom of the Kakariko well.

When my disorientation wore off I found myself with the others in the desert, just in front of the Spirit Temple. I felt a strong evil in the temple; worse than when we were here seven years from now.

I couldn't tell right off what to expect. I knew there was a strong evil in the temple, but I did not know how strong it was.

I used the bubble technique to shield myself from sand blowing in the wind. Navi did the same, but poor Link ended up being buffetted by the sand. He trudged to the entry of the temple and we followed.

And then Link ducked as two pots suddenly found life, and hurled themselves in his direction.

It would have been pretty cool if he sliced them out of the sky, right?

"Wingshreds!" gasped Navi. I glanced at her. That may have been the closest she ever came to cursing.

"Navi! Watch your language! This is a holy place!" I said. She giggled while panting.

"Hey! That scared me..."

"It scared you, Navi? My head's the thing they were aiming at..."

I tuned them out for a minute to focus on what was around me. The entire temple was so... strange. No, not strange... mysterious. I could see two statues and a big block on one side (probably hiding the door Sheik mentioned) and on the opposite side I could see a crawlspace. Link could probably fit into the space if he left his shield behind. I tugged on Link's hair and pointed at the crawlspace. He nodded and jogged off towards it.

"Link, put your shield in that item space... thing. You'll get stuck."

I heard something hit the floor and Navi gasp. I turned around, fearing that Link was hurt.

Instead, I see his hands in the air with a scimitar to his neck. A Gerudo was standing behind him.

"Hey, kid. How did you get in here?"

Link didn't say a word. He wasn't scared. The Gerudo could see, and she chuckled.

"Not scared yet? If I did this to most children I bet they wet their pants. You're dry."

"What do you want?" he asked, as if he were irritated. Appearantly Link doesn't get scared. He gets irritated.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"Why are you here?" he shot back.

"I came here to stop Ganondorf!" they said simultaneously.

"What? You?" they said... simultaneously.

"Stop that!" they said... you get the picture.

The Gerudo took the scimitar off Link's neck and he turned to face her. They both took a breath.

"Name's Nabooru. I'm Ganondorf's second in command, but I don't agree with him. The pay was always enough to keep me quiet... until he started making advances on me. Besides... this land is beautiful, and his rule is going to harm it."

"You're a mole," I stated. She hissed.

"Not a mole! A... how about a 'double agent'? You think that'll stick?"

I smirked. "See, you're not really supposed to tell someone you're a double agent. It kinda defeats the whole purpose."

"Well, whatever. The point is Ganondorf wants to get into this temple and corrupt it... but he doesn't know I'm going to stop him... but I cannot get into this temple. That big block is in the way of a door and I'm too big to get into that crawlspace. Kid, I'll make you a deal: Beyond that wall somewhere is a treasure chest that contains magical gauntlets that allow one to lift with superhuman strength. If you can get those for me... I'll move the boulder out of the way and I can proceed... and once I secure this temple, I promise to make you very rich. I hope you're good with that butter knife you call a sword!"

Link scowled. "I handle a sword O.K, Nabooru."

"Good, good. Now, what do you say?"

Link turned to us. I landed on his shoulder to whisper to him.

"We need those in order to do what we need to do. We can't just give them to her."

"She says she'll move the boulders out of the way. They won't be problems anymore, so what difference does it make who moves them?"

"How do we know she isn't lying? She could still be working for Ganondorf."

"I don't think she is lying. She seems to be true."

"How are you so sure?"

"It's a hunch."

"Kid, if I was working for him, you'd be dead."

"If you were working for him, you'd be dead."

She smirked. "Just go."

"Fine, I'll do it."

She clapped her hands together. "Great! Good luck... Oh, and watch out for Gibdos and other ancient beings that roam around here, especially the Iron Knuckle."

With that, Link crawled through the hole and we followed. I made a game of it where I had to fly through the little crawlspace without hitting a wall. Heh, fun times!

The minute we got through to the other side Nabooru called after us.

"Seriously! If you see an Iron Knuckle, avoid it if you can or it's going to snap your neck like a chicken bone!"

I gulped. Link didn't respond.

We walked through the corridors watching for enemies hiding in the shadows. The air was sweltering and the temple was full of traps.

Progress was very slow. Link had to double check each step to make sure he wasn't triggering a trap. He had to look at the walls and the ceiling for any traps.

Suddenly he dove out of the way as a boulder fell on the ground where he stood moments before. Navi was almost crushed.

"You okay?" I asked both Link and Navi.

"Fine!" came the response from both.

Without another word, we continued.

There were places in this temple where the floor was missing. There were dark trenches that Link had to be careful around and other grooves that could hurt an ankle. Some of the deeper trenches were thin and easy for Link to step over; others required some kind of strategy.

In more than one occasion Link had to shoot a rope holding up a gate and use the fallen gate to cross.

The heat was horrible and Link found himself sweating nearly as much as in the Fire Temple. The sand got into everything and dried Link up even worse than the heat.

We came across more than one sarcophagus and there were hieroglyphics on the walls. I can read some hieroglyphics. I know what means "water" and "pool"... and I think I know "hill".

Hey, I said I can read some.

There were places in this temple that still had some floor over dark trenches. Of course, Link had to walk across these thin walkways while under attack by keese. He almost slipped on more than one occassion and we all shuddered to think of what waited below the shadows. There really were quite a few dangerous traps in this temple. Link had to duck at one point as a blade passed overhead and nearly gave him a haircut.

In one room Link was very lucky. There were three ReDeads that spotted him right away and stunned him. They began their slow approach but as they walked toward him they slowly sunk. The room we were in was full of quicksand and the redeads eventually reached the point where they were unable to move.

We looked all around the room at the sand and only saw so many places that were dry.

"Link, quicksand is denser than water. Your head will never go under and you would stop at either waist deep or chest deep. The problem with quicksand is it's very hard to get out and hard to move around, too... as these redeads would tell you if they were smart enough to talk."

The redeads groaned in reply.

"The thing that kills people in quicksand isn't being smothered, it's simply being exposed to the environment. There is no other door in this room, so we could probably do with just leaving. Keep an eye out for quicksand."

Link did as I asked, leaving the redeads that we couldn't care less about to their fate.

X_0

Locusts. There were only a few of those pests in some rooms and enough to create a loud buzzing in others. In some rooms there were so many that Link had to throw a few bombs into the swarms to clear the air just enough for us to travel.

Sometimes they swarmed around him, other times they left him alone. I don't think Ganondorf had anything to do with the locusts in the temple. I think they just made a home in it.

The locusts were big enough to knock Navi or I out of the air. We were very careful flying through their little swarms.

Link tried chopping at the locusts once. The second he did that all of the locusts cleared out of the room. Link looked around, and then down at his sword.

It was then that we heard to things clatter to the ground ahead of us. They were two (it is sarcophagus's or sarcophagus?)...

There were two sarcophagi in front of us, and the lits fell to the dusty ground. We could hear moaning and groaning coming from them and two mummified corpses struggled out. I remembered that they were in the Void, too... but the name escaped me. We'd only encountered a few.

They didn't attack right away. It seemed like they didn't know Link was there... or maybe knew better than to try and stun him and make a break for him at this distance.

"Gibdo, remember them? Link, these are just like ReDeads, only wrapped in bandages and a bit more resistant to the Sun's Song. Use it to stun them, but be quick about running or attacking!"

Link whipped out his ocarina and hastily played the Sun's Song. He put the ocarina away just as soon as it left his lips and he went on the offensive.

He drove the sword through the waist of one and yanked it loose, running past and whirling around to slice again. The gibdo didn't respond to the attack, but it wasn't because it didn't get hurt; it couldn't move.

"Link, the back of the head! If you hit the right spot, it's an instant death!"

The gibdos were making noises and we were scared that they were coming around again. Link leapt and drove the sword through the gibdo's neck. I think he was aiming higher, but the kid was good with a sword.

He was really good with a sword. When we met him he was good, but now...

The song wore off and Link put distance between he and the remaining gibdo. I say remaining because that gibdo he just freed the beast on was not making noise. The moment the unharmed gibdo convulsed, the other collapsed.

He took the ocarina out of his pocket and played the Sun's Song once again. With that short, sweet melody, taking care of redeads and gibdos that did not have the element of suprise was just too easy.

Come to think of it, I figured that the Gibdos had weak spots as opposed to the redeads, which were fairly well balanced. Ancient Egyptians would remove organs from the body and even remove the brain through the nose (they thought the heart did the thinking). If I was right, Gibdos would be easier to beat if Link hit the spots where there were no organs.

I explained my idea to him and turned out to be right. He tested it out on the other Gibdo. Well, it didn't respond do the horrible wounds it sustained at first.

"You'll feel that in a minute," Link said, panting from overexerting himself. The Gibdos must really creep him out.

They creeped me out, actually. The Gibdo convulsed suddenly and fell to the ground, its head smacking the ground a few times before falling still.

I briefly wondered why Link decided to actually kill the two gibdos, but figured his motives out when I saw bars blocking the next door rise.

It was like a pit of chaos. It almost seemed like each room was a trial. Link had to fight Keese in one room and gibdo in the next. At one point he tried to light one of the gibdo on fire with a torch, but all he succeeded in doing was burning off the bandages. I frowned at that. I know (albeit not from experience) not to burn undead. The only thing worse than an undead that wants to eat your brains is an undead that wants to eat your brains while on fire.

Sure enough, that particular gibdo (it was actually just a mummified redead) was that much harder to kill. All the flames managed to do was make the whole room smell (quite literally) like death warmed over.

Navi gagged, but neither Link nor myself made much of a response to the smell. Maybe his brain doesn't care about smell anymore...

I noticed something: when there is a smell to be experienced on this journey, the source is usually bad.

We continued on through another door and Link hopped over another trench. The temple felt like it was on a loop. Link would go through some doors with no struggle and suddenly have to stop and fight Gibdos or other monsters again.

It wasn't until the third or fourth hour that we came across a new enemy.

When the door slammed shut behind us, Link took his ocarina out as he was expecting Gibdos. There was something different, though...

Most rooms in which we were confronted by Gibdos were empty save for the sarcophagi and some sand. This room was a little different. There was very little sand in it and there was a stone floor. There was a red carpet leading toward the end of the room partially hidden by the sand and rows of columns were on each side of the carpet. Link followed the path before him until he reached the end of the room. There was a big... a big throne made of the same material as the columns and floor in this room. It sat at the top of a few stairs. Behind the throne was a door blocked by iron bars.

Sitting in the throne was a humanoid figure covered by black armor. It carried a battleaxe.

It knew Link was there but it didn't stand up right away. It didn't even move and if not for the raspy breathing I would've thought it was just a suit of armor.

It turned its head to look at Link and otherwise didn't move. Link had his sword drawn but once it didn't make a move he ignored it.

We moved all around the room a few times looking for a way out. Link tried the Lens of Truth but everything in the room was real; no illusions.

"Hey! Do you know how to get out of here?" Link called to the armor-clad being in the throne. It didn't respond. Link thought it just didn't hear him, so he got closer.

"Hey, do you know how to get out of this room?"

All it responded with was heavy, raspy breathing. Link nudged its knee with his hand.

"Hey..."

It let out a loud groan and stood up, swinging the battleaxe it held in a horizontal slice. Link instinctively dodged backward and drew his sword.

"Woah!"

The armor-clad beast started walking towards Link, its heavy boots hitting the ground with repeated clattering. It swung at Link again and he dodged.

"Link! Careful! He can't hit you; can't hit you even once."

"What gave you that idea, Jack?" he asked, exasperated.

I didn't respond. He needed to focus on the fight, not on my borderline-useless suggestions.

Navi explained that the beast was called the "Iron Knuckle" and I remembered Nabooru mentioning it. Link managed a quick slice at it while it struggled to get its weapon up again, but the attack only glanced off the armor.

"Link, aim between the pieces of armor, or for the leather padding connecting them!" Navi said.

It was around there that Link nearly bought it. He leapt back to avoid another attack, but just barely escaped being divided down the middle.

Link didn't attack when he had the opening this time, instead choosing to eye his enemy and get an idea of where he could slice to remove the armor. I think this Iron Knuckle belonged to Ganondorf. By now word should have spread that Link was cleaning up that leather-faced idiot's messes, so anyone who was defending this temple probably would have helped him.

How was this temple not under Ganondorf's complete control yet? Everything in here save for Nabooru wants us dead. Even the pots want us dead!

Link dodged an attack again and sliced through one of the leather pieces like it was butter. After he did it, one of the plates on the Iron Knuckle's arms clattered to the ground. The Iron Knuckle was distracted by the sound and Link went for another strike, again succeeding in knocking off another hunk of armor.

It didn't let him attack again. It knocked Link away with one arm but he wasn't stunned long enough for it to kill him. It didn't even have enough time to bring up its weapon again before he righted himself.

The one weakness the Iron Knuckle had was the cumbersome armor it wore with obvious flaws. I wondered why Nabooru was so serious about avoiding them... it seemed easy to defeat the thing.

It wasn't. I got to thinking that there Link just had to cut off all the pieces to win the fight. Sadly, once the last chunk of armor protecting the torso of the creature fell, we were far from through.

The creature under the armor wore chainmail and tossed the battleaxe at Link. He dodged out of the way with a gasp and suddenly the Iron Knuckle was a whole lot faster. It drew a sword on its leg and charged towards Link, swinging the sword like an expert. Link dodged out of the way of many attacks but had to use his shield (he ducked and blocked the attack with the gigantic metal shield on his back).

Even though he protected himself from the sword, the force of the attack knocked him down and he had to roll forward lest he be stabbed.

When he stood up again he had to leap forward to avoid another strike. He whirled around so he could keep watching for attacks and brought his sword up.

The Iron Knuckle jumped forward to attack again but Link leapt to the side and countered with a jab at the beast's gut.

His attack did much more damage with only chainmail in the way. The Iron Knuckle flinched and Link swiped at him one more time. He managed to get a slash across the Iron Knuckle's waist but...

It had endurance. Link was tiring from dodging every single attack and he wasn't moving as quick as he started out.

He still managed to dodge another attack, but it managed a clean slice across his torso, cutting a tear in his torso. Link didn't cringe. I think his adrenaline stopped any pain.

Besides, the small slice was a lot better than the alternative.

Link didn't let the Iron Knuckle manage another swipe. He stabbed at it and caught it in the chest.

The attack only made the Iron Knuckle pause for a moment. It grabbed Link by the collar and tossed him to the ground like a ragdoll. The Kokiri Sword remained embedded in his chest. It brought its sword above its head and prepared to deliver the finishing blow to Link, but the wounds it sustained were serious. It was bleeding out and it fell to a knee, briefly unable to move.

My attention was on the Iron Knuckle. It went to pull the knife from its chest, but Link suddenly appeared in front of it, catching it by suprise, ripping the sword from its chest, and following through by piercing the Iron Knuckle's throat.

The Iron Knucle paused. For a minute I thought it was still able to battle. Nabooru was absolutely right about them: They were extraordinarily difficult to kill. It actually stood up for a moment with a hand to its neck and the sword fell from its grip. It stumbled back a few steps and fell backwards, staining the tiles a dark red.

Link took a knee to catch his breath and stop shaking. The thin slice on his chest coagulated. We had no time to waste taking care of the wound.

As we started heading to the door that just then opened, we heard a muffled shout and saw a jar move a bit. Link looked up at Navi and I, and he walked up to the jar, reaching inside and pulling out another pink fairy. By the wings. She had short pink hair and looked peeved.

"Oww! Hey! What's your problem, you big galoot?" she growled. Link almost shrunk back a little.

"Sorry."

"Hey, don't you know anything, kid? I'm a healing fa-"

"Yeah, I know. I have to put you in a jar."

"Hey, what about introductions?"

Link nodded. "Sorry, I'm shaken up from- from-"

"From what?" she growled. Link held her in the direction of the Iron Knuckle. She gasped.

"You? You defeated that big oaf? Yeah, right!"

Link looked around. "Do you see anyone else here? I mean, other than my fairies."

The mystery healing fairy looked around. She was pretty... but I knew better than to eye her for too long. If Navi saw me...

I'm not thinking of doing anything, just... I'm going to shut up now.

"Wow... You? Wingshreds, you're tougher than you look, kid! Name's Caterina!"

"I'm Link."

"Hi, I'm Jack."

"My name is Navi."

Navi was eyeing me the entire time. I didn't stare at this "Caterina" too long, and I wasn't thinking of anything sexual. Honest. I was more concerned with ending this journey along with that big dumb idiot, Ganondorf.

"Link? Okay, that is a good one!"

"What do you mean?"

She looked at all of us and a small smile started to grow on her face. "Wait, you're serious? That's rich!"

"Hey-"

"What kind of name is Caterina?" I challenged.

"What kind of name is Jackal?"

I squinted. "Touché, Caterina."

"Hey, kid... If you let go of my wings, I'll go with you. I can fix you up if you get hurt."

"You're not very nice... how do I know I can trust you?" asked Link. Hey, if there was one thing this kid possessed, it was honesty!

"I'm a perfectly nice girl! What's wrong with having fun at the expense of others? Besides, even if I wasn't the nicest fairy on the planet, I'd never let a little kid like you get hurt..."

Link was still for a moment, and then Caterina flew from his grip. She turned to face him.

"That cut on your chest isn't pretty. Want me to fix that for you?"

He shook his head and took out a jar. "I don't know what's ahead. I'd like to have a lifeline."

Caterina nodded, but flinched while she stared at the jar. "Man, I hate this part..."

The pink fairy wedged herself into the jar but before she put her head inside, she said something.

"Oh! Is there anything you want me to tell Din when I go back up to recharge? We're pals!"

Link eyed her in suprise. "Do you know a fairy named Louis?"

She shook her head.

"Brutus?"

"No- what's up with the- never mind... so that's a 'no'?"

He nodded, to which Caterina sighed. "Fine. Into the cramped little bottle with me."

With that, she vanished into the bottle and Link plugged the top. He put the bottle away and we continued through the door.

Now we were outside the temple on a ledge, around 20 feet off the ground. Link had to navigate the ledge he was on, steadily bringing him higher into the air. He never once looked down, either.

The wind was blowing, but Link had his back to it and it didn't seem to hinder his progress at all. More than once he almost slipped off the ledge, however. There were some places where the footing wasn't steady.

There were some places where there was no supportive ledge. Link had to step over a few gaps, too. By then, we were probably up 40 feet. At this height, the sand wasn't blowing into us as much, but the winds got more violent. I poked my head out of Link's hat and looked around at the view. I could see far out; as far as Lake Hylia. I could swear I saw the Gerudos on the archway at the edge of the desert flipping us off... but I concluded that it was my imagination.

Link had to carefully navigate the ledge for about 20 minutes before he got to the top and opened another door. Inside was a staircase. No enemies were in sight. Link went to walk up the stairs, but I stopped him.

"Link, this seems... too easy. Put the Lens of Truth on and look around."

He did as I asked, and gasped when he looked at the stairs.

"The staircase is fake. The railing is real, though..."

I looked over the staircase to the ground below, but I could not tell if the ground was really as far as it looked or if it was another illusion. Even if it was an illusion, the ground still couldn't be very close. The fall would not be pretty. As I turned back to Link to try and suggest we find another way, I saw him climbing over the railing and slowly ascending. The only unusual thing was how he ascended; he eased his way up using the railing only.

As long as he didn't fall, I was fine with it. I walked on the railing following him because I knew my wing would twitch on me and I didn't want to deal with flying back up to join Link and Navi again.

Link almost lost his grip a few times. I jolted and almost fell off the rail a few times myself.

"Link, be careful!"

It seemed like no matter how careful he was, he'd still come within inches of losing his grip on the rail. Thankfully, it only took a few close calls and around 5 minutes for him to reach the top. He put the Lens of Truth back on and shook his head at the ground, then leapt over it through an open door.

And we were outside again, standing on a platform just above that statue of Anubis. In the outstretched hand was the treasure chest.

"Okay... here we go..."

Link eased himself over the platform, using the edge to navigate to a safe spot. He managed to plant his feet on the head of the statue, and ease himself down onto the arm.

He approached the treasure chest and opened it up. Silver glistened dully in the sunlight. Link picked up the gauntlets, and a shriek reached our ears.

"What the-"

"Ahh! Get away!"

Link eased his way to the edge and looked down at the source of the voice.

"Nabooru!"

What we saw is difficult to describe. Nabooru was being sucked into some kind of dark portal and spinning around the edges like a ragdoll. Two witches on brooms flew around her. I could not see the witches so well with the sunlight reflecting off the white sand. I could only speculate they were witches from the speed in which they were moving and the brooms they rode on.

"So, it was you this whole time? You, our boy's second in command? You were the mole?"

"I- Was- A- Woah! Double- Agent!"

"What do you think, Koume? Shall we turn her into the mole she is?"

"No... No, I say! Kotake, do you wish to hear my thoughts?"

"Yes, Koume! Please, do speak your mind!"

"I do suggest... that we bring her around. Let her repent for her sin by working for the boy once more!"

The witches screeched with laughter. Nabooru was the only one that seemed to notice Link, but she did not say a thing yet.

"An excellent idea, Koume!"

With that, Koume and Kotake flew faster around Nabooru. She yelled up at us.

"Link, get out of here! Run! Teleport! Fly! I don't care- ahh! Just escape!"

Link stayed calm as Nabooru vanished into the portal. He stayed calm as he brought the ocarina to his lips.

He even stayed calm as the witches noticed us and started flying towards us.

He played the Prelude of Light, and he opened his eyes before we warped, giving the witches a glare that said one thing:

I will destroy you.

Now we had silver gauntlets. Link could no longer keep his promise to deliver to Nabooru, and they would not fit him as a child.

We went ahead 7 years to cleanse the final temple corrupted by Ganondorf.

End of Chapter

On 1 May, 2011, the world finally lost one of its biggest douchebags... And some people still think there's some kind of conspiracy. Let me clear something up for you conspiracy theorists: You're retarded. It is a fact that conspiracy theories pop up most when intelligence is at its lowest.

I wish this chapter was longer, but I had some trouble writing it. I've had more than a few distractions.

That stuff about quicksand is true. Even so, don't... don't get stuck in quicksand. And honestly, I don't know: Is it Sarcophagus's, Sarcophagus, or Sarcophagi?

If any one needs to know how to get rid of that nasty virus (XP Anti-Virus 2011), hit me up and I'll gladly let you know.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm looking forward to seeing how Link handles the Iron Knuckles in 7 years.

Next chapter covers the cleansing of the Spirit Temple.