Marlene sat at the table absently picking at her food while the boys at breakfast. She glanced out the window at the cold and windy day. The dark clouds threatened rain. She hoped it would clear up soon, she didn't like to think of anyone on the road in the rain.
"Did they say what time?' Guthrie asked again.
It took a second for Marlene to shake herself out of her gray thoughts. She turned to Guthrie and said for the fifth time. "After ten probably. Hospitals always take forever; all that paperwork."
She had tried to make the boys go to school - she figured at least Guthrie and Evan should go, but they were stubborn and absolutely refused. She thought about pushing it and actually wielding her authority over them, but recognized that they were worried about their brothers and Hannah.
Hannah.
The very thought of Adam's bride filled her with anxiousness. She had talked to Hannah on the phone four different times, but meeting her in person was something entirely new; and somewhat frightening. She had invested so much of her heart into the lives of Adam Sr, and Kate's sons and even though she lived far away, she couldn't bear it if that connection was somehow lost. It was all she had left of her friend. What if his wife didn't like her?
When Adam had called suddenly one afternoon saying, "You'll never guess what I did!", she had been stunned. She could tell even from the tenor of his voice that he was happy; happier than he'd been in a decade, but she was protective of his brothers too. She'd asked all of them what they thought about Hannah. The boys had been in shock at the time - revealing that Adam had sprung his wife on all of them as a surprise. She had fought the urge to scold Adam at the time, knowing that this indulgence in his own needs, was unusual. The only ones who had said anything clear about her in those early days were Brian - who said that he didn't like her, Guthrie who had said she was a good cook, and Crane, who was generally the most reflective. Crane had told her that Hannah looked a little bit like their mother - same nose, similar smile and same stubborn cheerfulness, but most importantly, that she made Adam happy.
While waiting for Adam, Brian and Hannah to come home, she had asked them again, and this time she was given clearer responses. Guthrie had told her that she was fun - and quick to laugh. He said that she took care of them when they were sick, and that she had once punched Mr. Wheeler right in the face when he'd insulted the family.
Evan, being Evan, had simply shrugged when she'd asked about his new sister-in-law, and said, "She makes us clean up all the time. I like her though." This was high praise from Evan who was slow to express how he felt about anything. She remembered seeing Brian beside the poor girl, an arm around her, clearly distraught that she'd been so injured. His opinion of his older brother's wife had clearly changed from his initial dislike. This fact made Marlene even more nervous about meeting her. If she'd won Brian over, then she was no ordinary girl! Of course, anyone who would put up with seven men had to be a cut above average. She glanced at Ford who had said nothing to her about his opinion of Hannah; had said nothing to anyone about anything.
"Ford, you okay?" She asked again, but he just glanced up nodding. Rising, the anxiety of meeting Hannah getting the best of her, she set her dish in the sink.
"You didn't eat breakfast." Evan pointed out.
"Do you want it? I'm not really hungry, I guess." She leaned against the edge of the counter, fidgeting with a towel. Seeing they were watching her she set the towel aside and tried to pour herself more coffee, spilling in the process because her cup was already full.
"Did something happen last night?" Evan asked suspiciously. "Is there something you aren't saying?"
She looked up surprised. "No, I was just . . ." She shook her head. "I'm just . . ."
"You seem kind of strange, Marlene." Guthrie said studying her thoughtfully. "Are you nervous?"
"Well . . ." Marlene began.
"That's what it is!" Evan said his eyes wide with surprise. "She's nervous!" He glanced at Ford who was silent and also not eating.
"No, I just . . . Boys, eat your breakfast." She blushed crimson wishing that they didn't know her so well.
"Why would you be nervous?" Guthrie asked genuinely confused.
"You said you talked to Adam and Crane at the hospital." Evan said his voice rising in pitch as an edge of fear crept in. "You said they were alright."
"I did." Marlene said quickly. "They are."
"Then why would you be nervous?" Evan continued, clearly reassured by her words.
Marlene said nothing, finding it completely impossible to explain to them the intense mix of emotions she felt as she anticipated meeting Hannah for the very first time. Guthrie's eyebrows wrinkled in perplexity and Evan simply shrugged in response.
"She's never met Hannah." Ford's voice was flat and emotionless and he didn't wait for a reaction, but instead put his dishes in the sink and went out to start on chores. Guthrie and Evan hardly noticed when Ford left, stunned by his revelation.
"You are scared of Hannah?" Guthrie asked wide-eyed.
"I'm not scared." Marlene said defensively.
"You seem kind of scared to me." Guthrie said.
"Well, I'm not." Marlene said rising. "Don't you boys have chores?"
"Yes, ma'am." Evan said studying her thoughtfully.
"Well . . ." She waited until they reluctantly rose to go tackle their chores, but Evan paused in the doorway.
"I was nervous too, at first. You'll like her Marlene. She's one of us." He said over his shoulder.
He left before she could respond and she set about cleaning up the dishes and putting together a big pot of chili for lunch. As long as she was busy with chores, she didn't have time to think of anything else.
Hours later, however, waiting on the front porch for their expected arrival, she felt her nervousness full force. She was almost nervous enough to beg reassurance from Guthrie who stood at her side watching the driveway anticipating his family's return.
"She has bruises?" Guthrie asked her again.
"Yes, but she is okay, and her voice is really raspy." Marlene said reassuringly.
"Why is her voice raspy?" Guthrie asked. "Was she yelling?"
Marlene sighed trying not to mix her memories of Guthrie as a sobbing two-year old with the here and now. She was always reminding herself that he was nearly thirteen and not a baby anymore.
"It has to do with how she was hurt, Guthrie." She said cryptically, not wanting to give him details - regardless of his age there was still a tenderness to Guthrie which was a result of his protected childhood.
"He choked her, Guth." Evan said angrily, even as Marlene shook her head at him. "Or tried to. He hurt her badly."
Guthrie's eyes welled with tears, and he leaned against Marlene, who put an arm around him.
"Evan, we don't need to focus on the details." She said sharply. "What matters is that she'll be okay. They all will." She said firmly.
"They are all hurt." Guthrie said softly, almost to himself.
"Yes. Adam and Crane are bruised up too, but everyone will be okay, Guthrie." She squeezed his shoulder. "You don't have to worry."
They stood together in silence and then at long last they could see in the far distance the approach of an old truck, and well-worn jeep.
"She gets a funny smile when she's pretending she's alright." Guthrie said looking up at Marlene. "If it's a real smile it reaches all the way up to her eyes - that's how you can tell."
"You'll like her Marlene." Evan said feeling badly for telling Guthrie about Jacobs' attack and wanting to make it up to Marlene. "Everyone does."
"Where's Ford?" Marlene asked trying to turn the conversation away from herself as her heartbeat picked up with anxiety.
"He said he had work to do." Guthrie told her. "But he's just chicken."
"You leave Ford alone, Guthrie. He has reason to be upset. Just because a person doesn't show bruises doesn't mean they aren't hurt." She explained.
"There they are!" Evan said pointing and she could see both the jeep and the truck make their slow way up the driveway to Circle Bar Seven.
Marlene swallowed twice, trying to remember the last time she'd felt this nervous and realized it was when she met her daughter Megan's boyfriend - now husband, for the first time.
"You'll like her." Guthrie repeated looking up at her.
"I just hope she likes me." Marlene said as the cars pulled into the driveway.
***7***
Ford watched the cars pull up the long driveway from inside the hayloft. He tucked his long legs under himself, and scooted further back behind the bales of hay. There was no way he was going to be on the porch with his brothers and Marlene when they all stepped out of the cars. There was no way he was going to face them with everyone watching. There was no way he could ever look Adam in the eye - knowing what he had done; what he had done to Crane and to Hannah.
He wasn't stupid, though. Ford was practical as well as smart. He knew sooner or later he would have to face them, but for now, he would put if off. For now, he would hide out as long as possible. He wanted to run. He wanted to head up into the high country and never come back, but he also knew it wasn't practical and would just compound his errors. He remembered shaking with fear when Crane had run off for three days and he couldn't do that to his brothers. He'd done enough already.
He peered out from where he was hidden, watching as Brian and Adam stood on either side of Hannah, and helped her up the steps. He could see Guthrie step back in shock for a second, before he embraced her. He watched with longing and anxiety as surrounded by his brothers and Marlene, Hannah made her way slowly inside the farmhouse.
He sat back against the hay. Small pieces of hay stabbed his back and stung against his skin. He pushed harder against it, figuring it was the very least he deserved. He closed his eyes completely exhausted. How he wished he could sob and wail, but found he was no longer capable of tears.
***7***
Hannah awoke herself with a start. She was relieved to see that she was in her own room, tucked in her own bed. Terrified of nightmares, she had become an expert at allowing herself to almost drift to sleep and then waking herself up. It wasn't really resting, but it was the best she could do. She wasn't ready to face any of her dreams. She was exhausted but at least she didn't have to relive any nightmares. Seeing the empty space in the bed beside her, didn't really surprise her. She understood why Adam found it difficult to simply rest at her side. He had his own battles. She knew he was restless and angry. The doctor had said all three of them needed rest, but under the best circumstances, Adam wasn't very good at resting. She thought about throwing back the covers and going downstairs, but was too tired to move. The door to the room opened a tentative crack.
"Oh, you are awake." Marlene said surprised. She smiled at Hannah. "How about some tea, although Guthrie informed me you prefer coffee," She came into the room holding a tray with a pot of tea and a cup. "But tea would be better for your throat." She set the tray on the nightstand beside Hannah, and stood awkwardly next to the bed.
"Thank you." Hannah managed. Talking hurt. Her neck was stiff and sore and even swallowing was painful. Her voice came out raspy and strangled sounding. Truth be told, she was sore all over, but didn't dare complain. Adam was angry enough.
"I tried to convince Junior to stay in bed, but he's stubborn."
Hannah smiled at the name. Junior. Brian occasionally called Adam that - mostly to tease him. She considered Marlene thoughtfully. She had longed to meet the legendary Marlene. All the boys spoke of her with a kind of reverence, and although she had talked to her on the phone several times, Hannah was still intimidated by the woman who had somehow managed to help seven broken hearted boys survive the greatest tragedy of their lives. As she studied Marlene she recognized something in the older woman's look; Marlene was nervous! She felt relieved to recognize that as anxious as she felt to meet this amazing friend of her long-lost mother-in-law, Marlene was just as anxious to meet the wife of her best friend's oldest son.
"Sit down." Hannah rasped out, waving a hand to the bed, and watched as Marlene's face relaxed into a smile.
"I'll pour you some tea. Your voice sounds like it hurts to talk." She leaned forward pouring tea into the cup and adding some honey. "The honey will help, I think." She handed the cup to Hannah who accepted it with a smile, and then she sat on the edge of the bed facing Hannah.
"Where's Ford?" Hannah managed to squeeze out. She had wanted to ask it when they'd first arrived home, but Adam had been hell-bent on getting her upstairs and in bed. He didn't allow any of the boys to spend too much time with her. She had wanted to talk to all of them and reassure them that she was alright, but he had angrily kept them away saying, "You boys let her rest."
"Junior went after him." Marlene said smiling at the question. She was deeply touched that it was the first thing, Hannah had asked. Marlene decided that she liked Adam's bride."I'm sorry that it had to be under such terrible circumstances, but I am happy to meet you in person at last." Marlene continued. "I know he's a disaster right now, but I can tell that you make Junior very happy."
"I hope so." Hannah said softly, sipping the tea. The warm liquid eased the ache in her throat some -at least temporarily.
"You do." Marlene repeated with a nod to the picture beside them on the nightstand. "I'd forgotten what his real smile looked like." Hannah blushed slightly. "I imagine it must be difficult to meet me like this."
Hannah took another sip of tea and then said, "I planned on fixing you my best dish."
"The first time I met my mother-in-law, I was so determined to impress her and I got so anxious and distracted while cooking, I nearly set the kitchen on fire. It was pretty humiliating." She blushed realizing suddenly that she had presumptuously hinted at being a de facto mother-in-law. "Not that I'm his mother. . ." She said embarrassed.
"That's how I think of you." Hannah said in a whisper. "I've been so nervous." She was too tired to keep her defenses up, and it had been so long since she'd had an older woman to talk to - her mother gone nearly seven years. "What was she like?" She set her cup down and exhausted sat back against the pillows.
"Oh." Marlene said, trying to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. "She was the sweetest girl you could imagine. She wasn't very tall - maybe five foot five, and thin! It used to drive me crazy - seven babies and she was still thin as a rail! And she was always surrounded by these boys who eventually towered over her, but there was never a second where it wasn't clear who was in charge; of the boys and of Adam Sr." Marlene sighed. "She was a good person - devoted to her family and to her friends. You know, the kind of person you could call in the middle of the night, and she wouldn't mind one bit - just ask what you needed."
"I wish . . ." Hannah said thoughtfully.
"Me, too." Marlene said looking at Hannah. "She always used to say that the payoff for being the only woman in a house of eight men was that one day she would be surrounded by daughters." Marlene smiled at Hannah. "She never said daughter-in-law. It was always daughters. That's how she was though. Kate was quick to love people."
"That sounds like Guthrie." Hannah said thoughtfully and Marlene nodded her head, surprised that Hannah had quickly made that connection.
"He's got her spunk." Marlene agreed. "But she was smart and thoughtful too, like Crane and Ford."
"I'm worried about Ford." Hannah said but her voice faded away on the last words, and she winced in pain.
"You need to stop talking." Marlene said. "Drink your tea, now."
Obediently, Hannah took a sip.
"I'm worried about him too." Marlene agreed. "He feels responsible. We'll see if Junior can't get through to him."
"Adam's just as bad." Hannah said.
"Well, he does like to put the world on his own shoulders." Marlene shook her head. "I love all the boys." She confessed. "After everything was said and done, they were all that remain of Kate, so I couldn't help but keep them close." She sighed at the memory. "And most folks accused me of favoring Danny - he was so angry and need so much patience, but it is Adam I feel such a strong connection too." She sighed. "I guess maybe because we had to focus on all the others. There wasn't time left for him, and Junior, being Junior, just accepted - accepted all the responsibility. He wasn't even bitter about it, either. I have always been amazed by that. He took in stride. He takes most everything in stride." Tears glistened in her eyes. "And that reminds me so much of Kate. She was like that." She glanced down. "I'm sorry, you must be so tired and I'm just rambling on like it is my family I'm talking about."
"It is." Hannah whispered softly. "This whole town loves them. It is hard sometimes - especially the way we started out - me being a surprise to everyone, but that's Adam. He makes his mind up quickly." She coughed, and Marlene handed her the cup.
"Stop talking." She repeated. "You and I will have plenty of time to talk." She rested a her on hand on top of Hannah's. "I'll tell you everything you want to know about Junior - all his embarrassing childhood stories." She grinned at Hannah. "We're family now."
Hannah's eyes filled with tears. It felt so good to have family. Her father had left so very long ago, and then at eighteen she'd lost her own mother. "My parents are gone too." She whispered. "That's why I'm so happy to be here. I love the boys. I love Adam. I was tired of being alone."
Marlene laughed. "Well, one thing is for sure, if you are a McFadden, you are never alone. Now, you close your eyes and rest. Do you need a pain pill? They left them for you. Or a sleeping pill?"
Hannah shook her head. "I am worried about Ford."
"Let Junior talk to him, and then us girls, we'll see what we can do." Marlene winked at Hannah. "So you may as well rest while you can." Seeing Hannah's hesitation. "Whenever I was sick, my mother used to sit by my bed and knit. I hope you don't mind? It is an old habit." She stepped out into the hall and came back holding a bag with knitting needles and yarn. She pulled the arm chair closer to the bed and sat down. "If that's alright?"
"Yes." Hannah's words were barely audible. "It's hard to sleep."
"I would imagine so." Marlene said reaching out and patting Hannah's arm. "But I'll stay until Junior comes back or Brian, or Crane or any of the other boys. It seems to me that you've become an honorary brother."
Hannah smiled at this and setting the cup down settled back in the bed. Her heart and mind were on Ford, and Adam, and Guthrie, Evan, Daniel, Crane and Brian - for that matter. She glanced over at Marlene who sat in the chair quietly knitting. She felt tremendous comfort. One disaster at a time - that's what Adam was always telling her. Right now, she'd let him manage Ford. She could check on him later. She snuggled down under the covers and for the first time since she had turned around to find Peter Jacobs coming toward her, she closed her eyes and slept.