The Price for Loving You
Chapter Nineteen
A Gravitation Fanfic

Taki Aizawa was the lead singer of ASK - a band once represented by NG, that had faded out of public eye around the time Bad Luck hit the mainstream. It was an old story. A promising band either couldn't attract enough followers, or couldn't handle the pressure of the lifestyle, and faded quickly or broke up after a good release or two.

That was the official story, and all Fujisaki Suguru had known for almost two years after joining Bad Luck. All that had changed one night on tour when he'd convinced his bandmates to watch a drama series he'd heard good reviews about instead of whatever garbage Shuichi had planned to find. (Usually variety shows or bad horror movies) It had been a police drama about two partners dealing with the outcomes of crimes ranging from attempted murder to building bombings. He found it a bit melodramatic, but enthralling none the less. On the third episode, which involved a rape case, Shuichi had announced he was bored and was going to sleep. Suguru hadn't thought anything about it at the time. He'd heard Hiroshi ask their singer if he was alright, and Shuichi say he was just tired - but he'd guessed Hiro was just worried the other was getting sick, since it was rather early for him to go to sleep. They had all been sharing the room like normal, though, so he'd figured if Shuichi was sick he couldn't hide it for long. What the conversation had really been about would hit him later like a ton of bricks.

He'd fallen asleep around episode seven. He'd woken up to Shuichi screaming, "Don't touch me!" in a tone so full of revulsion and horror, he nearly shouted for K - thinking they had an intruder. His realization that it was a nightmare came from the fact Hiro was instantly at Shuichi's side, assuring him everything was okay. His realization that it was more than a nightmare came from one look into Shuichi's panic filled eyes and Hiroshi telling him to "get over here and tell him who you are."

He'd wanted to know what the hell was going on. At the same time, he wasn't at all certain he wanted to understand what lurked behind the outburst. Despite the question burning his lips, he didn't ask. He'd always felt that might have been the very reason Shuichi, once calm, had explained everything.

Taki Aizawa was the kind of person Suguru hated. No, you didn't really get ahead by playing nice. If Aizawa had revealed Shuichi and Yuki's relationship, he'd have shrugged and said, "That's the business." If he'd used that leverage to force Shuichi to give up a venue or promotional spot, he'd have felt the same. Aizawa hadn't done that. He'd had Shuichi raped, and recorded it himself. In Suguru's mind, that not only made him a sick, twisted bastard, but a pathetic excuse for a band leader. Shuichi had a better grasp of the business - and that was saying something. Aizawa had clearly wanted to do more than destroy a potential rival band. He'd wanted to destroy Shuichi.

And, apparently, he didn't know when to give up. As Shuichi filled him in on Aizawa's involvement with Tatsuha on their drive to Tokyo, his hands instinctively tightened on the wheel. He remembered his and Tatsuha's conversation at the premiere. It had seemed innocent then - Tatsuha had fallen for someone. They were both new to their adulthood (In fact, to the traditional minded they were still a year from attaining it.), both more mature than many of their peers. Another may have been surprised by Tatsuha's declaration of being serious with someone. After deciding he wasn't joking, Suguru decided he wasn't surprised at all. Tatsuha had always had a traditional streak. Settling down with someone early fit that in his mind, especially since his future was already secure. He wished now, though, that he had thought to ask more questions.

He'd first met Tatsuha at Tohma and Mika's wedding. One of the few occasions in their nephew's life his parents had pulled themselves away from their busy lives for. The Uesugi temple and family grounds were a whole other world from the busy metropolis he'd lived in his whole life up to that point. His parents were full of snide remarks about the lack of modern luxuries and how Tohma had picked a girl from a traditional family to marry. He was well past the point of putting in any verbal objections to his parents' tirades. So, while he may have been thinking, "Mika is cool" or even, "I think it's pretty here", he knew better than to say the words aloud.

He'd wandered from his parents, and run into Tatsuha. His parents had dressed him in a tuxedo, while Tatsuha's father had dressed him in a kimono. They weren't the only children at the wedding, but somehow they'd both ended up away from the crowd. The moment they introduced themselves and their relations to the bride and groom, Tatsuha's serious expression had broken into an excited grin. "Hey, do you you know what that means? We're now family!"

As he remembered that declaration, he felt cold determination fill him. Aizawa Taki better watch his step. Nobody messed with his family.

"Does Tatsuha know anything about what Aizawa did before?' He asked Shuichi.

The singer sighed. "I don't think so. He ran the night of the confrontation, and he avoided everyone for awhile. I know Yuki and he patched things up, but I also know Yuki doesn't often volunteer information. I can't say about what happened between him and Tohma."

"...he deserves to know."

Shuichi intook a shaky breath. "Yah. He does. But let's first make sure Taki isn't pulling anything on him. Tatsuha thought he was in love-"

"He was in love." Suguru cut him off.

Shuichi scowled. It was a strange expression on the usually cheerful face. "He was tricked. Taki-"

"Is an asswipe." Suguru provided. "He doesn't deserve Tatsuha, and he's already proven he's no good for him. Regardless of that, Tatsuha fell in love. His feelings were real. Don't belittle that."

Shuichi was silent for a moment. "I think you just made me even madder at that jackass."

"Good. Time to clean the floor with him. Bad Luck style."

"Maybe we should have called K." Shuichi offered a grin.

Suguru felt a cold smile slip into place. "That can be our back up plan. If he doesn't learn his lesson, we'll leave him to K's tender mercies."

"Deal."

"You look like shit."

"I've been in a coma, what's your excuse?"

"You've been in a coma."

"Touche'."

"Everyone tells me so far no permanent damage, y'know, besides what already existed. " Yuuji plopped himself down on the edge of his brother's hospital bed.

Hiro gave a weak smile at both his words and actions. "Doctors say I'm very lucky."

"Dumb luck."

"Bad Luck's specialty. "

"We done ignoring the elephant in the room now? "

"Beyond done. What the hell happened while I was in that coma? Mom and dad walked in and my bandmates cleared the room so fast it made my head spin. All I get from our parents is they don't want to upset me right after I wake up. All I get from my bandmates is a message through my girlfriend that they'll be back in the morning, I mean, what the hell, Yuuji?"

"Dude, you met our parents? You were injured doing Bad Luck related work. They blamed the band, and Shuichi specifically for getting you involved. "

"How bad did it get?"

"Wasn't there, but the story as I hear it goes: Your girl broke two vases, Tohma got involved, and they still stormed out. Haven't spoken to the Shindos since."

"Yah, that's pretty bad."

"Maiko and I are working on it."

"Not sure I find that encouraging." Yuuji slapped the side of his head in retaliation for the words, but Hiro only laughed in response. After a moment, Yuuji joined him.

"Want some coffee?"

Hiro grimaced. "I don't think it's on my approved diet."

"Probably not." Yuuji grinned. "So, want some coffee?"

"Love some."

"Be right back."

"Hey, Yuuji." His words stopped his brother at the door. "Thanks... for looking out for them all."

"Just don't pull this on me again. You're the serious, responsible one of us."

"Got it." The two shared a smile before Yuuji swung out of the room to fetch the promised coffee.

It was both fitting and telling that the restaurant Nagi had taken him to was a modern restaurant that sold mostly foreign foods. Nagi had commented more than once that he was traditional, something he had neither denied or confirmed. There was truth to it, though, especially in his food preferences. Knowingly or not, Nagi's choice spoke volumes of how much of their time together had been false. The singer merely indulging him in order to get closer and learn his family's secrets. It was also fitting for his final confrontation with the singer to occur someplace that was distinctly Nagi; disconnected from his own world. There was something oddly comforting in the lack of further intrusion into his own spaces.

"That all you want?" Nagi gestured to the soda he'd ordered, smile crooking his lips. "I'm sure they could scrounge up some plain rice, if you'd prefer."

"I didn't come for the food."

"What about the company?"

"Don't flatter yourself."

"So it's all about answers? You're saying you don't miss me?"

"I don't. "

Nagi only chuckled at his reply. "Tell me, Tats, you just lying to me? Or are you lying to yourself too?"

"You're the liar here, Nagi. Not me."

"We're all liars, Tats."

"If you have nothing useful to say, I'll be leaving." He moved to stand, but was drawn short by the other grabbing his wrist.

"Fine, we'll cut to the chase. Sit." Nagi's tone was no longer teasing. Tatsuha shook off his hand, and reluctantly retook his seat. "Ever heard of ASK?"

"It was an NG band. Didn't make it past the first year. I think I heard their songs a few times."

"Vendetta was ASK. Tohma was producing us when Bad Luck came on the scene."

"And?"

"And in the music business, you don't play nice with your rivals. You destroy them."

"If you felt the need to do anything but compete, you must have felt pretty threatened."

"You've had your life handed to you on a platter, Tatsuha. You don't know what competition is really like." Nagi gave a dismissive wave of his hand.

"My life was handed to me on a platter? That's a load of crap."

"Come on, Tats, face the facts: when have you wanted for anything?"

"The things I wanted the most I have never had."

"Right. What were those? Your father's approval? Your precious temple?"

"Yes. My temple. The position as heir. I've been competing for it half my life."

"And how's that going for you?"

"..." Grinding his teeth, he looked away from the smug look on Nagi's face. The answer to that question hadn't changed since his break up with the singer.

"That's what I thought. You see, Tats, just competing gets you nothing in this world. If you really want to get to the top, you take out the competition."

"How did that work out for you?" Tatsuha retorted.

"It would have worked out fine if not for your brother."

"How does this involve my brother?"

"Your brother put my bandmate in the hospital."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because I was picking on his boy toy not reason enough?"

These days, Tatsuha didn't doubt it would be. But the time period Nagi was discussing would have been early in the relationship between Shuichi and his brother. Things between them had been vastly different at that time. "No. Not then. What did you do to Shuichi?"

"I didn't touch the kid. Just took some photos."

"Of what exactly?"

"What does it matter?"

"My brother doesn't go into a rage for no good reason."

"Maybe you don't know your brother as well as you think you do. Maybe you should be careful around him."

What those words implied both made him want to defend Eiri on instinct, and at the same time set his nerves on edge. He knew something more had happened in New York than he'd ever figured out, but the closer to the secret he dug, the less he was certain he wanted to know it. "Meaning what exactly?"

"Meaning I looked for info on your brother after that."

"That was pretty stupid of you."

"Why should your brother get away with what he did?"

"That depends. You still haven't confessed what happened with Shu."

"I had him perform tricks for the camera, satisfied?"

"...Shuichi wouldn't just do that."

"He'd do anything to protect your brother... wouldn't you, Shuichi?"

Nagi suddenly looked past him, and Tatsuha turned to find the singer was behind him, and not alone either. Suguru was looking at Nagi in disgust, but Shuichi's gaze was slightly haunted. It was Bad Luck's singer who broke the sudden silence brought by Nagi's words and the duo's arrival. "It was early in our relationship. Taki threatened to expose us unless I cooperated."

For a moment all Tatsuha could do was digest those words. "You had him raped."

"He was willing. " Nagi disagreed.

"Willing? Willing is someone suggesting you go someplace private and you agreeing. Willing is your current fling suggesting making amateur porn and you saying sure. Saying yes under threat is rape. There's a difference between submitting and consent."

"So you're some sort of an expert now, are you?" Nagi retorted.

"Were you ever paying attention with more than half an ear when I spoke about my life? My volunteer work? I can't believe you can actually sit there and think you have the right to defend what you did."

"What right had your brother to put Ma-kun in the hospital? He wasn't even there."

"If he knew what happened and didn't turn you in? Ever heard of accessory to a crime?" Tatsuha stood up. "I'm through with this."

Nagi jumped up, invading his space. "Your brother is a murderer." He kept his tone low - other customers at the restaurant were starting to look their way.

The words made Tatsuha pause. "You're lying again."

"Ask Shuichi here if I am."

Suguru and Shuichi were flanking him protectively. Shuichi was neither shocked or angered by Nagi's accusation. No denial of the other man's words came from his lips.

"You see? He knows it's true. That's the secret Tohma had leaked to me. And then pushed me in front of a car to keep silent. Because your brother is the most important person to him. He said so himself that night."

When Tatsuha didn't reply right away, Suguru moved forward to put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, cousin, let's get out of here."

Tatsuha shook his head, turning to face Nagi, and slipping out of Suguru's hold. "I was lying earlier. I do miss you. I miss the attention. I miss someone asking about my ceremonies; coming to my ceremonies. You said all the things I wanted to hear. You really nailed it."

"Tatsuha?" Suguru frowned, uncertain what to make of the confession. He glaced at Shuichi, but the singer was clearly just as confused as him as to what Tatsuha was doing.

"What can I say? You're easy to please, Tats." Nagi seemed smug.

"Easy. Huh. Yah, I guess I am." Tatsuha's chuckle was not pleasant. "I still find myself wanting to call someone after a good ceremony, and realizing there's no longer anyone to call. But you know something? That's my life, and I'll take it over any pretty lie you have on offer.

"Go back to you're pathetic little world, and feel free to continue hating everyone around you. But do yourself a favor, and quit deluding yourself. If you had ignored your petty jealousy over Shuichi, you'd still be at NG - ASK would still be in the charts. It wasn't my brother or Tohma that ruined your life. It was you."

Nagi's expression had quickly changed from smug to thunderous at Tatsuha's words. "I should have known you'd alway be nothing more than your family's lackey. They don't even come around until you're useful for them, but you still stand there and defend them. Pretty pathetic, Tats."

"And here you were just telling me how much you missed me. Funny how you can go from saying you want me back to putting me down so fast. So, which is it, Nagi? You want me back? Or I'm pathetic? Well? Cat got your tongue?" With no immediate answer coming, he slowly nodded. "Well, if there's any truth to you missing me, you can add that to the things you ruined for yourself. Because we're through. I never want to see you again." Turning his back on the other man, he headed for the exit.

"You'll regret it, Tatsuha!" Nagi shouted after him. "None of these idiots even bothered with you until I came into the picture, and they'll forget about you the moment it's convenient!"

"Shut up." Shuichi spoke up. Tatsuha had ignored the shouts, and was well on his way to the door, but Suguru hung back as well, watching Nagi as he ranted. "I've said all I can say to you about your petty hang ups. But don't spout anymore lies in Tatsuha's ear. We care more about him than you ever could."

"Really? Because in all the weeks we were together, I never heard him mention meeting any of you. I don't even remember being interrupted by a phone call. And since you're little drama with your guitarist, I can't help but wonder - has anyone even bothered checking up on the poor little temple boy? No? Rather neglectful for such caring friends and family, aren't you?"

"Ask yourself how Suguru and I came to be here before you spout anymore bullshit. I'm going to do you a favor, and not tell Tohma this night ever happened. Don't waste that."

Suguru remained unmoving while Shuichi followed after Tatsuha. The tense silence was starting to stretch when he finally spoke - keeping his tone low so those watching the scene couldn't hear them. "I'm surprised at my cousin. Pushing you in front of a car like that."

"Didn't realize what he was like?" Nagi sneered.

"Oh, no, I meant that it was such sloppy work. He didn't finish the job. Let me assure you that I wouldn't make that mistake." Suguru turned to him, his face stony. "Stay away from my family."

The air outside the restaurant seemed fresh despite the city pollution. Tatsuha took several breaths in, suprised to find them slightly shaky. He hadn't expected things to go the way they had. He didn't regret anything he'd said, he didn't even regret coming. Something about facing Nagi down felt freeing. There had been things said, though, that he hadn't expected. Painful truths, regardless of the source.

"I'm sorry." He turned at the words, a bit suprised by the serious expression on Shuichi's face. "You should have heard that from us, not him."

"I should have asked."

"Yes, you should have."

"Did he ever... did you ever go to the police?"

"Of course not. I was trying to keep him silent. I thought if I did what he said..." Shuichi closed his eyes, and took a deep breath before continuing. "I was naive back then. These days I'd handle things much differently."

"Was it his rapist Eiri killed?"

"...if you want the details-"

"I want to know if his rapist is dead."

"The one responsible for it is."

"And he regrets it."

"Yes."

"Stupid, Eiri. How can a jerk be so damn sensitive?" Tatsuha wrapped his arms around himself.

"It seems to run in the family." Shuichi replied.

"Huh...guess you're right." Tatsuha offered him a half-smile.

"Do you want to go home?"

"...I want to go to Mika's. There's one last set of answers I need."

"You're going to disturb Mika this time of night?" Suguru broke in, having joined them outside the restaurant.

"...I am." Because he was ready for it all to be over. Nagi's accusations. His own insecurities about his family and his future. 'I guess what they say is true. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...'

"It's your funeral."

"Finished threatening my ex with bodily harm?" Tatsuha glanced over at him, his expression wry.

"Don't be ridiculous, Cousin. I didn't threaten him with bodily harm. I threatened to kill him." Suguru corrected.

"You know that wasn't necessary."

Suguru turned away to head to where their car was parked. "Of course it was. Can't let some nobody mess with my family, after all."

A small smile curved Tatsuha's mouth at the words. "Yah, yah. Tough guy."

"You better call Ayaka or she'll give you hell." Shuichi reminded him.

"So that's how you knew where I was. I was wondering. "

"She was really worried about you."

"Huh. Must have had some good karma from last life to get such good friends in this one."

"Pretty sure it was your good deeds in this life that won them." Shuichi nudged his shoulder as they followed Suguru.

"Y'know, if you want to cheer me up, a make out session would work wonders."

"Not a chance!"

"But I'm heartbroken, don't you want to comfort me?"

"Keep your hands to yourself, pervert!"

"Don't worry, Shindo. He's just on the rebound." Suguru put in as they reached the car.

"Ouch. You don't have to be so blunt about it." Tatsuha griped.

"Sit in the back and behave or I might have to tell Sakuma about you propositioning Shindo."

"Huh? Sakuma-san?" Shuichi looked blank at the reference.

"There's a rumor around NG that Ryuichi Sakuma is spending a lot of time with an anonymous party from Kyoto."

Shuichi gaped. "No way. Tatsuha, is it true?"

"Er... it's not, I mean it is but...wait, what rumors?" Tatsuha stumbled over his words at the sudden accusation.

"Hey, are you blushing?" Suguru grinned.

"Shut up and drive me to Mika's." Tatsuha climbed into the car, slamming the door.

"Hey, wait!" Shuichi dived into the front passenger seat. "You can't avoid the conversation like that. What's going on between you and Sakuma-san?"

"Keep it down. I have to call Ayaka, remember?"

"Tatsuuuhaaaa!"

"Shut up! How does my brother put up with you?"

"Good to have things back to normal. " Suguru slid into the driver's seat, ignoring the escalating argument.

Bad Luck's latest single rang out from the cellphone on the side table, but Ayaka only gave a small noise of protest from where she was curled up in a chair by the hospital bed. Hiro reached over to pick the phone up, looking groggily at the screen before answering it. "Everything alright, Uesugi?"

"Nakano, hey. You sound terrible. You know, if I didn't know you were an invalid right now, I would wonder about you picking up Ayaka's phone this time of night."

"Maybe you should get used to it. "

"That sounds like I should be having a talk about intentions with you."

"I think you know my intentions." Hiro glanced over at Ayaka again, his face thoughtful. "We had all these thoughts about what would be the right times for things. Maybe it's time to rethink those."

"Frankly, it's past time. Didn't anyone ever tell you two idiots there is no right time? The only time that counts is right now?"

"Thanks for the advice."

"This time it's free, don't make me start charging you. "

Hiro chuckled at the jibe. "Sure thing. So, why are you calling?"

"Ayaka told me to. She out of the room?"

"She's asleep. Should I wake her?"

"No, just tell her everything's fine."

"And is it?"

"You know, I think I can honestly say it will be. For the first time in... awhile. "

"Good to hear. "

"Oh, and tell her thanks for the back up."

"The back up?"

"She'll understand. Get some rest, Nakano. You still sound like shit."

"Thanks, Uesugi. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

Ayaka stirred as he hung up the phone and placed it on the table. "Checking my text messages?" She teased.

"Exactly, gotta make sure no other hot celebrity made moves while I was sleeping. "

"Was it Tatsuha?"

"Got it in one."

"Should have woken me up."

"He said not to. Said to tell you everything's fine."

"But did he sound okay? He's good at faking it."

"I called him on that. But he said for the first time in awhile he felt it would be. And that sounded honest."

"Good. He's a good kid, he deserves better."

"He also said to thank you for the back up?"

"Your bandmates. "

"You sicced Shuichi and Suguru on him and he thanked you? "

Ayaka sat up to make a lazy swing at his arm, missing by several inches. "Be nice."

"I was." Hiro reached out a hand for hers, which she took. "You need to go get some real rest."

"I don't want to leave."

"You get sick, we'll both be invalids." Hiro pointed out.

"Okay, they can park my bed next to yours."

He gave her arm a small tug. "Nope, I want out of here soon."

"You just woke up today."

"Yesterday at this point."

"...promise you'll be awake when I get back?"

"Promise."

Ayaka stood up, but still held onto his hand as she leaned in to rest her forehead against his. "I love you, Hiroshi Nakano. "

"I love you, Ayaka. Forever and always. "

To Be Continued...

An update long in coming. Thank-you everyone for the reviews and IMs. I'm doing okay, if slightly frustrated with RL. However, this chapter didn't just take so long due to RL interruptions and my own tendency to procrastinate. I must have rewrote Tatsuha and Nagi's final confrontation five or six times. (And I'm still not sure I'm satisfied with it. However, I'm fairly confident I'm as satisfied as I will probably get with it.)

I know a lot of you were hoping for Eiri/Tohma/Ryu to get involved, but - in the end - I felt this was one confrontation that Tatsuha needed to be in control of. Shu and Suguru were there to back him up (and threaten the life of after the fact in Suguru's case), but Tatsuha needed to be able to stand on his own feet, and admit that, yes, he loved Nagi, but, no, he neither needed or wanted him in his life anymore.

Things are slowly starting to resolve themselves, but don't think it's all over yet. There's something big around the corner. First, though, Tatsuha has some things to resolve with Mika, Eiri, and his Father. Look forward to that, and to some resolution to the fight between the Nakanos and Shindos, in upcoming chapters!