In the Darkness

Hey guys, sorry that I aint replying to your reviews, that email thing about you not being allowed, well I just want to make sure before I reply properly. Hope you enjoy this, sorry its not too long!

Chapter 20

Severus stood by the door long after Miss Granger had left, trying to control himself, telling himself that he didn't want to run out and call her back, that he did not want to ravage her, or pour his soul into her and let her see his errors and his weakness and beg her to take them away. When he opened his eyes the room was dark, the shadows from the few candles that were barely burning twisting and conforming into the torments and demons of his own mind. His eyes opened wider as his mind scolded himself for his immaturity, they were after all just shadows. Yet he still took slow, measured steps as his hand slid into his robes to finger his wand as he walked into his bedroom. He did not need the light; it was in his nature to face whatever scared him.

But somethings were never meant to be faced.

His mind and own conscience was his biggest foe, the only one that he could not face.

The faces of his victims danced for him while he slept, waiting for him, beckoning him to the hell that he had once put them through. Every night he saw their faces and knew that he would one day go to meet them, and when he did the hell that he had put them through would look like heaven after what they would do to him. He heard their voices, their relentless screams and deafening cries, calling to him "Welcome brother. This is what you made of your life."

He turned quickly as he thought he heard a noise behind him, but it was his mind once again. He slowly undressed himself, leaving the clothes in a small pile on the floor and slipped into his four poster bed with black silk sheets, embroided with small green snakes that curved up the sides of the pillows. He let the softness glide over him, like smooth fingers trying to soothe him…

His mind fell back to Miss Granger, and now he remembered her taste, the amazing sensation of her tongue against his, her body pressing against his, because she had wanted to, the look of pain in her eyes as he had pushed her away from him, the fear that had rose when he showed her his deep, hidden self…

He turned his head sharply to face a different wall. His eyes were now fully adjusted to the darkness, and although he still couldn't see anything, when he closed his eyes the faces were there to greet him, and when he opened them the wind howling outside resembled their cries. Desperately he tried to fight them, to push them away, yet nothing worked, silently he lay, cursing the God that he prayed did not exist, out of fear of his wraith.

"I have wronged you. I have hated you for the wrong reasons. You gave me this life and I have made it my own, a mockery of the blessing that you gave me, a blot of shame on the face of your creation. I should not fight my mind; it is the conscience that you gave me. It is your silent punishment, and the preparation of what is to come to me."

And with that final thought, he closed his eyes, and let the screams fill his ears as he allowed them to send him into a restless sleep once again.

Hermione suddenly found herself back at her dorm. The tears that had fallen were now cold; their only trace was the silver streaks that glistened in the candle light. Lavender lay in the bed across the room from her, gently sleeping and blissfully unaware to her roommates entry. She quietly took off her clothes, leaving on her under garments, and she too slipped into bed, like a machine her body moved whilst her mind replayed the night's events in her head. What had happened? Where had it gone wrong? She didn't care about the fact that she had kissed her Professor, she was more bothered about what he had said to her. The way that he had thrown her out, changed so quickly from one person to what seemed like another. They had kissed. Professor Snape and her had kissed. And it had been wonderful. He was so experienced, he knew exactly what to do to her. The feeling of his hands moving over her body had thrilled her, had taken her breath away as she had felt new sensations that she had never before felt, the taste of him had excited her, made her shudder with pleasure and the forbidden thoughts of what other satisfaction he could bring her. There she was, feeling these new feelings, the 18 year old virgin… at the hands of her 42 year old Potions Professor.

In theory she was disgusted. But in reality she couldn't help but feel regret that it hadn't gone further. She remembered his eyes… oh those eyes…. What pain and lust, anger and envy she had seen in those eyes. It had frightened her. Yet it had also thrilled her. His intensity was exhilarating, a few seconds of those black pools was enough to make her see him. He was mysteriously sensual, in the most despicable way. He hated himself, his past, his future, his present. He hated everything about himself. Yet she had accepted him. Shown him that not everyone thinks of him like that. So why did he deign her? Why force her against her will to leave?

"I cannot guarentee your safety should you stay."

Why? What would happen? She didn't understand, surely she could change the man who she saw in those eyes. His couldn't truly want to do those things to her, to unleash that pent up emotion in the most terrifying way possible. Could he?

No. He had comforted her. When he had found her, crying and in distress he did not hurt her, instead he had helped her. He called her his angel. He had asked her to sing for him. And she had.

And oh the look upon that pained face as she had sang. In those moments, there was no pain for him. No anger or hate. Just her voice that seemed to capture him. He was in true rapture when he heard her.

So how could he throw her out? Dismiss her like that? Could he not see the pain he had caused her? After he had said that he didn't want to hurt her?

As the day began to break, sleep finally captured her, and for the few hours that she got, the silence that she longed to feel took over.

The calm before the storm.

Ok, I will get the plot back on track for the next chapter. This was just a kinda insight into what they are both feeling!