OMG! Birobird is back? Holy crap, she is!
I did it, you guys! I updated, how much do you love me?????
ALERT ALERT: guess what? I saw 'The Lovely Bones' the other day at the cinemas. If you haven't already, I advise you to GO AND SEE THAT SHIT.
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G
Anyone want to send me some love because they've missed me so much? I'd love to hear from you!!
FIC RECS:
The Naked Guy Upstairs updated, like 3 times while I was gone.
And so did Volition. Amazing,
Um...IF you have any fics to rec, please dont hesitate to PM me that shit.
Cause I love you and shit.
Till next time, baby ;D
EPOV
Unsurprisingly, Bella refused to be coddled like a sick child after returning home from the hospital.
I tried--without success--to carry her to the apartment but she flat-out demanded I let her walk on her own two feet.
I thought that perhaps she was just being her usual stubborn self until I saw the moisture well in her eyes, glistening over her brown irises until she grew flustered and self-conscious, aggresively wiping them away and squaring her shoulders once the elevator stopped at her floor.
As if she was attempting to prove something to the zero number of people watching, she continued, quite drowsily down the corridor with me almost breathing down her neck.
She growled a little, threatening me to back off and let her do this.
I oliged but kept a hand ready and waiting incase she fell.
Bella swayed a bit and my hands fluttered toward her.
"Don't get all persnickety, newbie. Geesh!" she complained. I couldn't help but smirk.
Persnickety.
"What are you, like, five?" I laughed, letting my hand fall to my side.
Her cheeks flushed but she bit down on her lip and her eyebrows furrowed.
She was either working out complicated long division, or thinking hard on a snappy come-back. Or, she was going to fart. I chuckled at her while I patiently waited for her to advance past apartment 201 and toward 203--her's was 211.
"I know you are, but what am I?" she quipped, grinning at herself.
"I'm awesome, is what I am."
"I know you--" she paused, choking on the next words.
Her face scrunched up in what appeared to be distaste, as if she smelled something terrible. Maybe she did fart. I was about to conjure up my own backfire but before I could, she sneezed. It sounded forced.
"Holy shit!" she crowed, taking a slow deep breath.
She was still a little high off of the pain killers they gave her. But they did tell me she should be fine by now.
She shook her head a little and looked up at me, feigning embarrassment.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I'm allergic to self-righteous, smug, little bastards."
I 'hmphed' and rolled my eyes, acting hurt.
"And yet, here we are...do you need any anti-histamines?" I asked.
"No, they make me sleepy. Why by sleeping pills when I can just get you to fuck me?" she snorted.
We were broaching on 209 now.
My mouth popped open.
"How dare..." I breathed.
She grinned. I leant over slightly and pinched her ass, giving it a little spank. She yelped in the silence of the hallway, blushing a deep scarlet.
"You. Suck. Dick. Bitch." she whispered in a supposedly frightening manner.
I had to bite my fist.
All this lighthearted fun and joking was in stark contrast to the way I had spent the earlier portion of the week, racked with insurmountable guilt, sitting by Bella's bedside for the most part, wallowing in my own self-pity if I wasn't thinking of the foulest ways to end James' life. To think, mere centimetres had saved Bella's life. Had she been turned slightly in either direction, the bullet could have cost her life, spearing her liver or any other organ. Her rib took the brunt of the impact, thankfully, dodging death as quickly as it almost came.
I felt like I was gambling with her life, just by being in it.
Bella took one wobbly step at a time, one palm flat against her side--her battle wound--until she stopped outside her door with a triumphant sigh.
I realised then, what she must have thought.
She didn't want James, or anything that he did to her, to incapacitate her. Not physically or emotionally. Not like Phil had done in the past.
I smiled down at her, prouder than a soccer mom before unlocking the door with her set of keys.
The door swung open into darkness. I heard a thump. Not from the door.
I frowned and swung my head around to assess the damage Bella may have done by pushing herself too far--but she was standing ramrod straight, her eyes--or what I could see of them, dim in the lack of light, moon or otherwise--widened into alarm. Backing out and grabbing Bella's arm along with me, I pinned her against the wall outside her apartment, letting the door fall half-closed behind us.
"Stay here!" I hissed.
"Edward, wait--" she whispered.
I heard footfalls, heavy and sluggish over the floor boards toward the doorway.
Bella's round eyes, filled with anxiety but blended with a fiery burst of anger swept over my face. I would not let her talk me into letting her come with me.
I'd already been stupid enough to drag her into the back of that SUV.
I turned my head away and sauntered slowly to the slice of light occupying a foot of the apartment's entrance. Someone was in there and it wasn't Esme. I was sure of it. I wished I had a gun, but only if James had one. If not, I wouldn't be at a terrible disadvantage. I'd much like to kill him with my bare hands. I'd already killed the bitch who shot Bella...but it still wasn't enough.
It felt like a spectacular debt that had to be repayed. My Isabella deserved more than anyone could give her; I knew, of course that she wouldn't hear of this, but that made it nothing if not more true. So undoubtedly good, was she, that my Bella would take me back with open arms. A coward. A killer. A do-er of the most miserable wrongs. To atone, would it be too bold to take her wrong-doers out of the equation. Like an avenging angel of some sort, I felt not only personally responsible for fucking these people up, but someone so innately good as Bella, should have it done for her, regardless of who they are.
It was because I loved her so much, that I was volunteering myself to the position.
However plagued by bias or irrationality because of that fact, it didn't stop me from planning it all out so that it would be done.
Bordering on insane rage and murderous bloodlust, I forgot about stealth and trudged straight into the abyss, not sure of whether or not I would come out on the other side.
Love left alot of room for stupidity.
My hand flew out to the wall as I heard the footsteps retreat across the room.
"Who's there?" I growled.
"Who are you?" the voice demanded back.
Not James' voice. Perculiar. But by no means any reason to relax and shake their hand. They were still uninvited and intuding in my girlfriend's apartment.
I found the light switch and at the same time, my feet carried me to the figure standing awkwardly next to the sofa. Bringing my fist around the collar of his shirt and not taking stock in his clothes, his appearance of his face, I threw him up against the opposite wall, lifting his feet off of the ground.
"Edward!" Bella cried, distressed.
Then she gasped, horrified.
BPOV
"Jacob?!" I shrieked.
Edward looked extremely displeased.
Jacob, tall, gangly and inept even at age twenty one. God, he was only just legal to drink.
"W-w-what are...I mean--what the fuck are you doing here?" I asked, not interested in making pleasantries after his less-than-intelligent form of rendezvous.
My heart, spluttering and barely restrained to my ribcage was not used to so much stress.
I sank down, uneasily to the couch.
"You two know each other?" Edward demanded, his teeth gritted, his eyes blazing murderously.
"Let go of me!" he panted, struggling against Edward's larger frame.
"Edward," I said softly.
He glanced back at me before begrudgingly releasing my so-called intruder. His red converse all-stars hit the floor with a thud. Edward had, none-too-gently let him fall from his perch, subtly shoving him back again in the process. They seethed at each other for a moment before the tension was cut off like an umbilical cord, snapping Edward's attention straight back to me as if he only just remembered I was still here, sitting, waiting.
Like usual, he was unneccessarily worried about me. He posessively wrapped his arm around my shoulders instead of my waist, knowing my tender spot needed no more pressure. I was still struck with...
Jacob!
I mean, he was here!
After four years!
"How did you get in here?" I asked, not very happy.
He let out a frustrated breath, scowled at Edward for a split-second before heaving his long body and plopping it down on the oppposite sofa.
"Door was open," he answered nonchalantly.
"So you just invited yourself in?" I demanded angrily. What was this place, a stop n drop?
People still had to knock and wait outside of people's houses didn't they?
"Actually, I did." A small voice sounded from far across the room in the direction of the bathroom.
I spun and winced. The movement tugged on my stitches. I slowly, gently stood up, my posture hunched and furious.
Renee faced me with her sorrowful, lined face. She had aged at least three years recently, in an eigth of the time.
Well, I thought bitterly. Its not like she was a totally fucking innocent party.
She smiled a small smile, full of regret and sheepishness. I glanced between her and Jacob.
To say I was overwhelmed...
"I..." I choked, trying to swallow the tightness in my throat.
Constricting around the acidic taunts I wanted to throw at my hateful mother. I still could not get them out, I could't get them around the horrid obstruction that was my conscious. Luckily, Edward could almost read my mind.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Edward snarled, standing up along side me.
As if Renee could hurtle some physical threat in my direction, he stood between us and glared at her as she made her way closer.
She came to a halt a few feet away, not that she wanted to; Edward wouldn't let her come any closer.
Heaving in deep breaths, I tried not to think of Phil when I saw my mother's face. As complicated as our relationship has always been, I still didn't want to blame her; there was still the child in me, the innocent, naive, loving little thing that wanted the maternal affection that Renee was previously devoid of but looked like she was capable of now.
But did it matter what my inner-child wanted?
I would never get all that time back, untainted. It would always involved Phil. Always the terror. A festering wound; one not as temporary as I yeilded now.
"You have no right--" Edward barked until he was cut off by an incredulous Jacob Black.
"Don't speak to her like that, she's Bella's Mom. Who the fuck are you?" he shouted, glowering and standing up from his slumped post.
My breathing hitched around a sob--too much. Too much!
"I'm responsible for Bella." he answered low, narrowing his eyes at both of them.
"Jake, you haven't been in my life for four years--"
"That's because you fucking walked out on me!" he retorted.
He brought out my defensive side.
"My father had just died! What, did you expect me to stay in that dead-end town just for you?" I wailed.
The tears sprouted but I was beyond caring at this point. Let them see me cry, what did it fucking matter.
"You show up on my doorstep! Tonight?! Of all nights? With my mother?" I elbowed Edward aside to stare into Jacob's flat black eyes.
His posture straightened and he lifted his chin, folding his arms across his chest.
"I was in town, actually. I ran into your mother and she told me what happened."
Simple as that.
I shook my head, dumbfounded.
With no more ammo, I whirled on Renee. She frowned worriedly at me, begging me with her eyes for some sort of forgiveness. As if reconciling me with an ugly past would score her a golden fucking ticket back into my life?
"What are you trying to do, Mom?" I spit at her.
She splutters for an explanation, her hands wringing anxiously in front of her like she's squeezing water out of a sponge.
Her bouncy red curls are drab and lifeless at the moment, hanging in loose strands over her head. She looked ill.
"Are you intent on not letting me forget him?"
I knew she knew I wasn't talking about Jacob Black.
She took an unconscious step forward.
"Watch yourself," Edward warned.
"I was worried about you and I know it's not fair for me to ask it...but I want you to forgive me...for...for everything, Bella!" she cried out at the end, muffling her sobs into her palm.
I recoil.
"You're right. That is an insult," I agree whole-heartedly.
"It's too late for that shit, Mom. If you wanted forgiveness you should have tried twenty years ago. Maybe when I was willing to listen." My voice broke and she sobbed harder.
Good.
"Or, maybe, you could have tried to apologise when I screamed for help at night. When I cried myself to sleep..." I offered, my chin trembling.
Edward's hand tightened almost painfully around my arm; I barely registered it.
"Was it too much to ask?" My voice was steadily rising. "For my Mother to help me when I told her that her husband raped me that night?!" my voice was almost a scream.
I fumed, watching my Mom cry into her hands, her face red and gaunt. The rest of the room was quiet.
"GET. OUT." I order suddenly.
Quite an intelligent move for her, Renee quickly does as I demand and grabs her leather bag from the arm of the sofa and swings it over her shoulder, not looking back.
I huff, exhausted.
"Bells..." Jacob murmurs apologetically.
I turn to stare at him and nod, answering his silent question.
Yeah, it's true.
"Maybe I should come back later...?"
I don't answer. I run to my room and slam the hard wooden door, letting the harsh vibrations settle through the living room where Edward and Jacob still stood silently. In no wya had I expected to see Renee, let alone Jacob. But what shocked me more was not my ex's presence, but Renee's pleas for salvation!
Sickened, I stripped down to my underwear, carelessly throwing my clothes to the floor and climbing into bed with a sigh.
I had been emotional high's and low's all week. Was it too much to ask...for a little rest? I heard muffled talking on the other side of the door before more footsteps and the front door clicking gently closed, followed by more muted footfalls which came closer to my resting place.
The door opened and Edward's sillhouette appeared.
"I'm sorry." were the first words to fall from his mouth.
I groan.
"Do. Not. Apologize for them." I tell him.
I roll over and bury my face into a pillow. I wait while he gets undressed.
I feel his stubble brush my cheek, then his soft lips are at my ear.
"I'm proud of you." he mumbles.
"Instead of falling into a mess and refusing to talk to her...you let her know what you thought...told her what you could and couldn't offer her. Personally, I wouldn't have been as esy on her..." his tone grew darker, taking on a dangerous edge.
I sigh and lift my head up to look into his eyes.
"Maybe..." I mutter, shrugging.
"But it hasn't made me feel any better."
He strokes the back of his hand down my cheek and up again.
"But how can she expect forgiveness? After that? And even if you will, how can she ask so soon? And after everything that's happened?" his voice deepened again and his eyes took on a deadly, wistful stare into nothingness.
"Edward," I whisper, quickly dragging his mind away from morbid internal ramblings.
I touch the tip of my index finger to his rough chin, running it over his bottom lip.
"...make love to me."
I had never asked him of this before.
I had asked for sex. I had asked for a fuck....
But never had I asked him to love me.
I almost felt nervous.
He rolled onto his back and gently scooped me up, pulling my body along with his.
I noticed quickly that he was totally naked. Shimmiying out of my panties, I gradually get into a sitting position, straddling his lap. This position would be less painful for me, I think. I reckon thats what he had in mind, in the first place.
"Tell me what you need, Bella." he murmurs.
I smile bashfully, feeling no residue of hate from the prior fight.
Instead of speaking it out loud, I lean down to place my lips on his. Soft, moist, delicious. His tongue flicked out to meet mine. Supressing a need to rush into the act, I lifted my mouth from his, licking my lips and bringing my hands behind my back to unclasp my bra. The thick guazy material that stuck to my side was a pain in the ass, but I couldn't exactly discard it like a piece of clothing.
Despite my battered body, Edward marvelled in my skin, letting his hands roam lovingly over it. I shuddered, having waited WAY too long to experience being with him again. There was such thing as TOO long, I think.
His cock was hard, pressing against my clit, between my thighs and reaching my stomach. He grasped my hip with one hand and scooted back so he could lean against the head board of the bed, his eyes alight with excitement for what I knew he had been just as eager to do again.
I had my knees on either side of his hips now, my shins flat against the mattressa and my feet curled out. I trailed my finger up his length and smiled as I felt the shiver ripple through his body under mine. Feeling my moisture on his legs, he places his fingers inside me, letting them slowly, one-by-one slide down my slit and ease into my core.
"Oh...been...so long..." I say breathlessly, barely intelligable language right now.
Not that I could be blamed.
So wanton and full of desire, I begin to move my hips against his fingers. He flicks his thumb over my clit, causing me to jerk slightly and squeak. He chuckles next to my ear as lean into his shoulder, kissing and nibbling my way down his neck. I take his face in my hands and meet his mouth with a wild growl. As if he was man in a desert, finding a fresh water spring, Edward kisses me back with even more fervour.
"So glad...we still have this." he pants, his fingers becoming faster, rubbing me harder to the point where I can feel my walls begin to ache with the effort of holding off my climax.
"Mmm..." I moan against his lips.
He takes his fingers from me and grasps my left ass cheek. I take one hand from his face but do not dream of breaking the kiss, our connection. I wander down to his strained erection between us, tickling his head with my fingertips first before I lift myself up and onto him. Not without wetting his tip with my wetness first. He lets out a shuddering breath.
"It feels like this is all new," he whispers, strained.
I let my hands roam back to his face. One grabs his jaw and the other twines through his bronze tresses.
His fingers, finding sensitive spots at the small of my back. He lets his tongue slip back into my mouth, running it against mine, out and over my lip.
"Ah, Oh...my god, Edward!" I gasp, my eyes popping open.
By mistake, he hits my g-spot and I clench around him. He groans. I let my hips move faster against him, hungry for more of the same sensation. Breathing heavily with half-closed eyes, I stare at Edward as he places his hand flat over my heart.
"Beautiful." he murmurs, his voice carried to my ears through the dark.
I bend forward to kiss him again, his hand slips away and starts teasing my sensitive, swollen nub. I swear against his lips but continue to suck at him...letting my tongue explore him once more.
"I was afraid I would...lose this..." he tells me with a groan as I lift myself up and down, gliding slickly, his dick getting coated with my moisture.
So hot. So wet.
"I'm glad we didn't." I moan, rocking harder than before.
I hit a brick wall, almost as if I didn't see it coming--and cry out but not before I bite Edward's lip.
He growls but can't help himself from spilling directly into me just after I come down.
I can feel we've made a mess, but I stay put. I pant, sweaty and overheated into Edward's neck as he smooths his lips over my hair.
Inhaling his scent and willing all the bad shit to go away, I close my eyes.
Edward lifts me up and takes us to the bathroom where he cleans us up and carries me back to the bedroom.
"Thanks, I feel pretty boneless." I say sleepily, yawning as he lies down next to me and gets comfortable.
"I don't." he jokes. I laugh a little.
"I asked you to make love to me." I tell him out of the blue.
"And?" he's confused.
"We've never done that."
He breaths heavily, almost exasperated, like I'm missing something.
"Everytime with you, Bella--it's been more than just physical gratification..."
I frown.
"Every single time we've been together, I've been making love to you. Whether you knew it or I knew it."
I smile, even though he can't see me.
I kiss him fully on the mouth.