❤ Chapter Nineteen ❤

Armies of raindrops fell from above, increasing their speed until they hit the cement, spilling their insides onto the ground. Explosions after explosions merged together, drowning the road around me in undistinguishable splatters. The rare summer shower quenched the city, cooling down the sun's heat. I stood outside my apartment, with my red umbrella over my head, searching for a sign of Jess' navy pickup truck. At least that was what he drove when I visited Philadelphia a year back.

The sound of moving tires across a stale pool of water assaulted my ears. Instinctively, I stepped away from the curb to avoid possible splashes. Safe from the small tidal wave, I looked up from the ground to see rolled down windows to the vehicle I was waiting for. In the driver's seat, a man with short dark hair, distinct sideburns contouring his face, and deep-set eyes waved at me. He nodded at me with a subtle, one-sided smile. Waving back, I rushed to the truck's door.

Closing my umbrella and giving it a firm shake, I climbed into the passenger seat.

"Hey!" Once I was seated comfortably, tucking my umbrella between my feet, I turn to him with a grin. "I'm so glad you're here." In my eyes, he looked the same as years ago in a casual button-down shirt and khaki shorts.

"Hey." He nodded, his face hiding a small smile. "Hope you didn't wait long."

"Nope, just very long." I teased and was met with a smirk. My smile grew wider. "So, where to now?"

"It's your neighborhood." He shrugged and looked past me at the window.

"Hm." I looked straight at the heavy rain pelting on the metal hood. "How 'bout some pizza? It's just around the corner."

"Sounds good." He nodded as he reached for the ignition. With the engine revving to life, we drove into the sheet of pouring rain.

❤ Leap of Faith ❤

"Holy shit. Who raided this place?" Jess scowled at the packed pizzeria as we stood in line in front of the glass display. I knew what he meant, with the paper plates spilling over the garbage bins and bits of cheese dirtying the few empty tables along the walls.

"We could get it to go and eat at my place," I suggested.

He shook his head in disgust at the packs of men sitting around the tables, their loud howls mingling with the noisy atmosphere. He frowned. "That might be a wise option."

Almost smelling the sweat stains on the back of the men's shirts, I complained, "It's like a hundred degrees in here." Encouraging my neck to catch some air, I gathered my hair to one side. The tiny floor fans at the corners weren't exactly sufficient for a New York summer, especially if the place was this crowded. Many people were piling through the door, just to hide from the rain.

"Why did we come here again?" Jess asked, keeping his eyes on the customers. I knew he had always been uncomfortable with crowds.

Trying to calm him down, I flashed a grin. "Their pizza is the king of all pizzas. It's like Michael Jackson is to Pop."

"Yeah, that image totally helps with my appetite." Sarcasm dripped from his voice as his lips curled slightly.

"You'll see." I patted his shoulder, confident in my taste buds.

He rolled his eyes and changed the topic. "So, you packed for the move? I'm still shocked you're going to Australia. That's a lot of distance between you and your mom."

At his question, my easy mood instantly vanished, replaced by flames rising up my neck. "Um, no, I haven't really packed yet."

He mocked a gasp. "Rory Gilmore is not on top of things?!"

I turned away from him, pretending to busy myself with the four selections of pizza on display while forcing a chuckle through my throat.

"You're still going, aren't you?"

Moving forward along the line, I fanned my scorching face with a hand and let out an exaggerated breath. "Wow, it's really hot in here. Somebody should do something about those fans."

"Rory…" The deep, husky voice from behind warned me that I couldn't escape. "What happened?"

Oh god, I'm going to have to actually talk about it, I childishly thought. Bracing myself, I looked back at Jess and mumbled, "Sam and I might have, kind of, sort of had a fight last night."

He pursed his lips and nodded slowly, his deep eye-sockets casting a shadow on his cheekbones. "Go on."

I frowned, thinking back to the things Sam had said. "He…He…thinks there's something going on with me and Logan. Well, not going on with him, but mostly going on with myself… about my feelings for him." I didn't dare to breathe, afraid that Jess' response would only solidify what I had realized last night. Admitting my feelings for Logan, even to myself, was still a scary task.

"I thought you said Logan left," He replied simply.

"He did. But, last night, Candice texted me in the middle of my dinner with Sam about how Logan's back 'til tomorrow. I obviously was caught off guard by the information and might have froze in my seat, which I guess alerted him." I finished weakly, not wanting to recall the details. "And, well… the rest was history." Even though I tried hard to not remember, Sam's paled expression came to me. It felt like a punch in the stomach.

Peeking through my lashes, I saw Jess continue to nod. "Sounds like he's right."

"What?" I looked up at him. Horror crossed my face as I realized he could probably see right through me. I felt exposed of every dirty secret, naked and on display. He probably knew that I was still hung up on Logan. My face felt even warmer than the heat radiating off the glass that's labeled "Caution: very hot".

"Your order, Miss?" A curt voice brought my attention to the lady behind the counter. Spilling your troubles to an ex could really speed up a line.

Praying my face wasn't a deep scarlet, I stuttered, "Um, I'll have two slices of Deluxe and a slice of Hawaiian. To go." Good thing I had a usual order since my brain was reeling with Jess' statement. The lady looked at my body up and down before typing the order into the cash register. I heard Jess chortle beside me before covering it up with a cough.

He came closer. "I'll have the same and add hers to my tab."

"Jess, you don't have to." I tried to object.

"It's fine. My going away present, though it sounds like you're not going away anymore." He sniggered.

I scowled at him. How dare he find my dilemma entertaining?

"Here you go." A pizza box slid across the counter. "That'll be twelve-ninety."

Jess pulled out some bills and placed it on the counter. He grabbed the pizza box and gave me a smile of relief. "Now, let's get out of here."

❤ Leap of Faith ❤

My body temperature somewhat returned to normal as Jess and I raced through the parking lot under my umbrella in the pouring rain. In the car, he continued to interrogate me. All my attempts at reversing the attention of the conversation to him failed. Therefore, by the time we parked by my apartment, I had confessed every detail of what happened between Logan and me in the past few months.

"Last time we met, you said even though Logan left, you're head over heels in love with Sam and you'll focus on him. What happened to that?" He searched my eyes, his sharp features jumping out at me under the early evening light. His face could easily be sculpted.

I sank into my seat, exasperated. "I do love Sam, but I also can't get over Logan." Frowning, I pouted. "There, happy?"

He shrugged. "Why would your relationship problems make me happy? Remind you that I've moved on since those high school days, and no longer pine after the amazing Rory Gilmore."

My body shot up. I've found an opening. "Ohh, so, you've found yourself a girlfriend?"

"Nope, back to you." A wise smirk twitched on his lips. "The question is 'are you happy?'"

Scowling, I leaned back into the seat again. "Can we go upstairs now? My pizza's going stale."

"Nope, I'm not done thinking."

"Thinking about what?" I groaned. Clearly, I dealt with issues in really mature manners.

"You didn't answer my question, Rory."

My head turned against the headrest to face him. He asked, his eyes serious. "Are you happy?"

Biting my lip, I replied, "I use to be, before I saw Logan again. I was really happy with Sam. He's so great and loving. It's the most stable and healthy relationship I've had in my life. No offense to you-" Jess shook his head with a mocking scorn. "But, I can't stop thinking about Logan. I'm seriously messed up. There's probably fried wires tangling my brain." Frustration took over as I rambled on. "I mean, here's Sam wanting to spend his life with me and take me to an exotic and gorgeous country, while Logan left for California and says he can't be with me, yet all I do every day is sulk around and mope over Logan. Ughhhhh" I flung my arms in the air and crossed them in front of my chest.

Jess was contrastingly calm as he shrugged. "Don't they say you can't fight love? Like if it's meant to be, it should be natural?"

A laugh made its way through my gritted teeth. I turned to him. "Wow, those are very wise and cheesy words I never thought I'd hear you say."

"I'm a changed man." He smirks. "I'm just thinking. It's like us."

"What about us?"

He scrunched his face as if it was a torture to continue on this sentimental subject. "Well, I did love you, Rory. A lot. But, it was just never the right timing or place. It just never worked out." Puffing out his cheeks to let out a breath, he said quickly, "Maybe it's up to fate."

"Wow." I was speechless by his discourse. "I never, never, ever expected those words from you." With a slow smile spreading on my face, I looked at him. "You know I'm going to forever mock you about that?"

"Shut up." He muttered with a deep scorn, but the corners of his lips were lifted.

I let out a light laugh, and then sighed. "But, what you said would actually suggest Logan still has feelings for me, or want to be with me."

"Doesn't he?"

"He sends all sorts of mixed signals. Like after the conference, or when we danced…" I blushed at the recollection, especially at the words he said that night by my bed.

Jess turned in his seat until he was facing me squarely. "Don't you wonder why he's pulling away? If he doesn't love you why did he give you that bracelet, or hire you as his assistant just to steal time?"

"Okay, who are you?" I had to tease. This was so unlike Jess. "Now, you're just scaring me."

He frowned, his expression almost impatient. "Okay, fine, screw that. Just answer this. Are you happier when you're with Logan or with Sam?"

The answer that instantly popped into my thoughts hurt me. I felt like a terrible girlfriend. I felt like a horrible human being. Jess must have seen my answer because he said, "Look, I'm not Logan's biggest fan." His eyes hardened along with his voice. "But, you do what makes you happy."

"It's complicated…" I tried to explain the ache in my heart.

"Screw what other people think, Ror." Jess leaned in, his tone urgent. "Screw the right thing. It's your life. Do what you want."

"But-"

"What do you want?" His voice was raising, frustration now clear on the surface.

"I don't know," agitated, I replied. Wasn't that my problem? I didn't know what I wanted.

"What do you want?!" He pressed on.

"I don't know!"

"Stop saying you don't know, and just tell me what you want," he demanded, his face folded into a firm scowl.

"I…I-" I shut my eyes before braving myself to say the words coursing through my blood, pounding to get out. Opening my eyes, I whispered, "I want to see him again." A knot formed in my throat when I heard my own words, realizing how true they were. There, I said it. I wanted to see Logan. I wanted to see what we could have.

My confession didn't lighten the frown on Jess' face. He continued with annoyance in his voice, "Then, what the hell are you still doing here?"

"What?" My mouth was open as I gaped at him. What the heck was he so worked up for?

Rolling his eyes, he asked, "He leaves tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Then, go." He jabbed his palm at the truck door.

I stared at him, into his blazing eyes.

"Go see him." His slow words came through his teeth. "Don't be those damn idiots alone and miserable in their forties, thinking about what ifs."

What ifs. What if Logan's call reached me years ago? What if he still loved me? What if we did have a chance? I realized that I had to know. Those answers were critical. They would change the direction of my life in a heartbeat. With my heart pounding against my ribcage, I looked at Jess. My mouth opened, but my voice was drowned within the thumps. "You're right." I paused, and then repeated more softly. "You're right." I needed to see Logan. I needed to find out.

He bowed his head, the deep lines finally fading from his face, and nodded at the door. "Now, go get him."

I sucked in the air around me, and nodded back. Turning to leave, I stopped to give him a long hug. He patted my back as I whispered by his ear, "Thanks, Jess."

When we broke apart, Jess gave a small, one-sided smile with his dark eyes boring into mine, as if telling me I was making the right choice. His voice was raspy as he said, "I'll see you around, Rory."

I smiled back, my stomach rumbling with anticipation for what I knew I needed to do. "See you around."

❤ Leap of Faith ❤

Jess' words were a seed planted into my head. With each passing second, it flourished into a giant tree, occupying my entire thoughts. I must talk to Logan. It was the only thought going through me when I reached my apartment. Throwing my keys on the couch, I ran to my desk and rummaged frantically through the drawer for the tiny, rectangular card containing Logan's number. It has to be here. I know it's here. Please let it be here. Chanting the mantra in my head, I dumped the drawer's contents onto the desk. While flipping through stationeries after stationeries, my eyes landed on the white card sticking out between a bundle of pens. Aha. My heartbeat quickened at the sight. There it was. Once I had that number and dialed it…I could find out… Reaching for the card, I told myself to be brave.

Sitting on my couch with my back straight, I held the number in front of me and breathed. To calm my nerves and avoid bailing, I forced the memories of Logan over the past few months into my head. I thought of when he asked me if I was seeing anyone the night at the party. When he draped a blanket over my chest as I slept in his office and felt his hand graze my hair. And, lastly, when he sat by my bed and whispered those words that I would never forget. I didn't mean it when I said it was all or nothing. I'd rather have you any way I could. With ragged breaths leaving my mouth, I grabbed my phone off the coffee table and held it by the card. Steadying my shaky fingers, I dialed Logan's number.

The rings resounded against my ears while I used every bit of self-control to resist the urge to hang up. My heart was pounding so loudly that it was almost impossible to hear, but I focused on counting the rings to occupy my flailing mind. Four. Five. Beeep. Logan's voicemail greeting came through. Panicked, I hung up before I could leave a ridiculously embarrassing message. Okay, okay. He's not answering. Should I call again? What if he sees that I'd been bombarding his phone? With my head roaring different suggestions at me, I was almost losing it. Shutting out all the voices, I got up and grabbed my keys. Without thinking about what I was going to do, I headed out the door with the card scrunched in my sweat-covered palm.

❤ Leap of Faith ❤

It took twenty minutes to get to the tall, beige building in front of me. I stood there, my hand gripping my umbrella, and stared at the glass doors. The rain was slowing down with soft splatters on the ground, bouncing onto my bare legs that were exposed under my knee-length skirt. I gulped, realizing that this was what I was doing. I was putting myself right in Logan's territory. I was going to see him. Just like how I'd wanted. Determined, I squared my shoulders and stood up taller.

If everyone had to do something crazy, put themselves out there, once in their lives, then I choose this.

Pushing my fears aside, I focused on the excited and anxious balls growing in my stomach. Walking toward the entrance, I thought of what I was going to say. I was going to face Logan, look him in the eyes and tell him that I came because I had to see him. I was going to ask him if he ever thought about me in the past years, if he thinks there's any chance between us now. I was going to ask if he still loves me. Butterflies spawned at the thought of his response. How his face would break into a smile if he gave me the answer I wished to hear. I couldn't help the feeling of hope rising in my chest. It was filled with a warmth that melted my heart.

When I stepped into the lobby, I was met with a doorman at the front desk. It was only fitting for the fancy decor around the walls and chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. With sweat forming down my back, I walked up to him.

"Hi, I'm looking for Logan Huntzberger?" My voice was sharp in the empty space.

The man, sporting a thick, black mustache, gave a courteous smile. "Is Mr. Huntzberger expecting you?"

I bit my lips. "Um, no. I tried calling but he wasn't answering his phone."

"I can give his unit a call for you. Hold on, please."

I nodded as he picked up the receiver. If my heart thumped any harder, it might just fling out of my body and smash against the wall behind the desk. Through my nerves, I vaguely remembered hearing the entrance doors open and heels click on the marble floor.

The man hung up the phone and said. "I'm afraid he's not home. Maybe he just left."

"Oh. Okay, thanks." I stared at him. Just left as in he might appear at the lobby in an instant? I swallowed hard at the possibility. Oh my god, I was going to see Logan and confess to him right in this lobby. His eyes and his smile flashed across my mind, making me yearn to see them in person.

"You can wait here for Mr. Huntzberger if you wish." The man smiled and waved to the couches on his right.

Before I could reply, a female voice chimed in. "Ohmigosh, you're waiting for Logan Huntzberger?"

As if caught red-handed in a despicable act, I spun around. In front of me was a tall woman who looked to be in her mid twenties with platinum blonde hair and an impressive set of breasts bulging through her dress. "Um, yes." I narrowed my eyes, trying to remember if I knew her.

Her eyes lit up. "Oh cool! I'm waiting for him too." She grinned like that fact alone made us best friends.

"Okay… and you are?" I tried to fake a smile.

"Oh! Silly me, I forgot to introduce myself." She giggled and held out a hand.

I reached out and was caught in a never-ending, excited handshake. Without letting go, she beamed. "I'm Denise. I'm Logan's fiancée."

What?! My hand, along with my smile, froze at the last word. Staring at her with what must have been a stunned expression, I tried to move my mouth. "Uh, sorry, I might have heard that wrong. You're his what?"

Finally, she let go of my hand. "Fi-an-cée." The syllables rolled off her tongue slowly as if she thought I was mentally challenged.

Seeing the overjoyed grin spread on her face, I forced my head to nod while a squad of panicked thoughts flooded me. No, no. This can't be. This girl was obviously delusional. Logan said he wasn't seeing anyone. How could he have a fiancée?!

I quickly asked, "And we're talking about Logan Huntzberger? About this tall-" I placed my hand above my head. "With dark blonde hair, always wearing a suit...?" My voice trailed off as I saw her nod.

"Yeah, yeah." Her head bobbed up and down as her voice rang in my ears, along with a faint ping in the distance.

Suddenly finding it hard to breathe as the situation hit me, Logan's words filled my head and resounded off every corner.

I think it's best for there to be a line between us.

Too much has happened.

I'm not the same person anymore and couldn't give you anything even if you were single.

My legs were quaking as a million thoughts ran through me. Was this what he meant? Did he let me assume he was single? Was he lying to me this whole time?

Stuttering, I backed away, failing to keep steady and almost tripping in the process. "Okay, it was, um, nice meeting you." Taking a final look at the woman, her makeup laden face and stick thin body, I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. "I have to go."

I almost ran for the door. All the knots in my stomach bunched together and twisted sharply until I had to clench my waist to keep from the pain. Just when I reached the door, an echo in the room halted me.

"Ace?"

At the sound of his voice, tears pricked my eyes and the pain in my abdomen intensified. Drops of rain from the air landed cold on my skin as I stood there with my back to the voice and the door half-open. Only hesitating for a brief second, I bolted out the door.

❤ Leap of Faith ❤

With my umbrella dangling in my hand, I channeled all my strength into my legs as I ran onto the flooding driveway. Heavy footsteps followed me.

"Rory!" Splat. Splat. Splat.

"Rory!"

His voice boomed over the rhythmic sounds of water hitting the puddles.

"Wait!" The sound was so loud that I stopped.

Spinning around, I yelled, "What?!"

Logan was running toward me, only slowing down a few feet away.

Breathing heavily, I backed up, wanting to bolt again. As if reading my mind, he held out his arms in caution, willing me to stay.

I watched him come closer until he was before me. This was what I had wanted, I thought. To see him. Yet, now, seeing him only made me cringe in disgust. I wanted to collapse onto my knees right there and scream, to rid of the piercing agony in my stomach. I never felt such hatred in my life. All my hopes were murdered by the Barbie look-a-like with maybe half a pea for a brain. Logan had lied to me. I came all this way to find out that he was lying all along. I literally wanted to shove him, or do anything but watch him stand there, his face twisted into a torturous expression and his eyes hanging at the corners.

His chest rose and fell in a speedy rhythm as he asked softly, "What are you doing here? Why did you come?" He clenched his jaws. "Never mind." He grabbed my wrist. "I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to see you."

I twisted my hand away. "I'm such a frigging idiot." I cringed at my hoarse voice. "I shouldn't have come. I don't know what I was expecting, but don't worry, I'll go now and leave you to your date."

Backing away, my shoulders were caught by Logan's hands, forcing me in place. "She's not my date." His voice was urgent. "Don't go. I was going to go see you. I debated for days, but realized I had to see you. I missed you so much."

"Really?! You're saying this now?!" I jabbed at the direction where the woman was, his self-proclaimed fiancée.

"What?" He looked confused as he glanced over his shoulder. "I don't even know her- Ugh." He wiped his face roughly, causing droplets of water to roll down the back of his hand, before looking into my eyes. "Forget about it, I needed to see you to tell you that-." Tentatively, he stepped closer. "I realized we can make it through, Ace. I hate being without you. I can't stand that you're with someone else. I have to have you, no matter what it takes."

My brain swung against my head, dizzying me. What the hell was he saying? What about all those times he said he couldn't give me anything? That he was different now?

"You really think this is the time to say that?!" My voice rose, wavering at the end.

He held my arms, as if begging me to hear him out. "We can make it work, all our problems in the past. I can wait for you, for whenever you're ready. No more ultimatums or pushing you into doing something you're not ready for."

My heart twisted at those words. They would have been everything I wanted to hear two, three years or even ten minutes ago, before everything changed. The cold rain against my skin unfroze me as frustration boiled over.

I roughly shrugged out of his grip. "This would have been what I wanted to hear a long time ago, but now?! It's just too late…" I gestured to the door. "You have a frigging anorexic model in there claiming to be your fiancée, and you say this?!"

No longer able to look at him, I tried to open the umbrella in my hand. I needed to do something besides look at him. I needed to get out of here.

"She's not my-"

"I don't want to hear it."

I was past rational, past explanations. A thousand emotions pulsed through me, but all I could focus on was opening the damn umbrella and getting out of there. With shaky fingers, I pressed on the latch, but it just wouldn't budge.

"Listen to me-"

"No, stop." My voice was a plea.

I was desperate as I fussed over the thing in my hands. I was a complete fool to think he was single and waiting around for me. But, he didn't need to lie to me. To embarrass me like this. For me to find out from that girl, I wanted to be swallowed up into the ground and disappear.

"Rory…"

"Stop saying my name!" My head snapped up as tears stung my eyes.

For a split second, Logan looked taken aback. Anger rose in my throat as fast words fled my mouth.

"You just waltz back into my life after three frigging years of not even a single phone call. With different brunettes and blondes as dates or fiancées or god knows what. Then, you tell me you're glad I came all this way in the frigging rain looking for you, and making a fool out of myself in front of that bimbo fiancée of yours that you never even cared to mention?!"

"It's not like tha-"

"Would it have been that hard to let me know? Oh, right it mustn't have come up. Oh wait, how about the time I asked if you were seeing anyone? You didn't think you could have just said 'Yes, yes I am. In fact, I'm engaged'?!"

With pain stabbing my chest, I ripped my glare away from him and hastily reached down to pull at the umbrella one more time.

"What the hell is wrong with this thing?!" I growled, wiping at the water dripping down my face. Sniffing, more angry thoughts came to me. Without looking at him, I said, "I spent two frigging years crying over you. The least I deserve is the truth."

I heard Logan let out a heavy sigh before he said my name. When I continued to ignore it, he shouted. "Rory!"

Startled, my head snapped up and my eyes locked with his. "What?!"

"I still love you!"

Stunned, my eyes brimmed with a scorching burn. Watching the rain wet his face, I shouted back the only thought in my head.

"You have a fiancée!"

We stared at each other, soaking in his confession and my absurd reply. Then, Logan shook his head. "She's really not my fiancée. I don't even know her. My father's been setting me up with these damn dates-"

"So, she's your dad's approved fiancée?"

"Yes- I don't know. It doesn't matter." He came even closer, reaching for me.

My head shook as I avoided his gaze, but I let his hands hold onto me. They were trembling against my arms. Feeling his erratic breath on my face, warming my cold skin, I said, "You're right. You're right... It doesn't matter..." My voice broke.

No longer suppressing the tears pooling in my eyes, I said, "You're not my boyfriend so, yeah, you don't owe me any explanation. It doesn't matter that I spent three frigging years trying to get over you. Then, realizing I failed." Gasping for air, I continued, "And it also doesn't matter that you're still all I think about. That two years wasn't frigging enough to get you out of my-" Sobs escaped as I wiped fiercely at my cheeks.

"Ace..." Logan closed his eyes without another word.

Unable to stand the look on his face, I shoved his hands away from me. His body recoiled but stayed close. I inhaled, choking on water. "I'm the stupidest girl on Earth to still wish you were here after you left again, that you were the one I woke up to everyday, that you were the one I was committing to-"

Heaves were racking through my chest when I was done. Determined to leave before I lost all dignity, I grabbed my umbrella and jabbed the trigger hard, causing it to spring open. With my umbrella by my side, dripping water onto my legs, I glanced up at Logan as he was quiet. His hair was now plastered and soaked on his forehead as water dripped down his chin. He looked so helpless as he closed his eyes, as if my words inflicted pain. Then, his jaws twitched and his eyes pierced into my gaze, before he leaned closer and grabbed the sides of my face in his palms, wet and warm against the pulse in my neck. Before I knew it, before I could jerk away, Logan's lips crashed into mine. The move numbed me, my hand releasing the umbrella, letting it skitter away in the wind. Without thinking, my eyes closed as his lips burned into me, the cool rain mixed with warm flesh imprinting my soul.

When I could think over the buzz in my head, when I understood what was going on, my hands found his chest and tried to push him away. His hold around my face only tightened as his body pressed into me, trapping my arms. No longer able to struggle, my fingers gripped his shirt, squeezing the soaked fabric and feeling the water trickle through. Despite my protests, my eyes remained closed as his lips moved against mine, in a smooth, familiar way that sent all my blood cells scurrying into my brain. Neurons fired in ten thousand directions, lighting my skin on fire.

The hard, cold rain was picking up speed, splattering onto my face and body, only to sizzle off my skin. I couldn't care anymore, feeling him on me. This close. All the muscles in my body took over and I let go. I gave in. Logan is kissing me. The sentence was waves pushing further and further into my thoughts. Every beat of my heart moved my lips against his. Strength left my hands as I released his shirt. My head tilted back, embracing his sweet, soft lips with mine. He was kissing me like I was air and he was suffocating on land. Loosening his hold, Logan's hand traveled to the back of my neck, cradling the nape while his thumb brushed my hair. His other hand grabbed my waist, squeezing me into him such that I tilted my head further to deepen the kiss. Shivers rang down my spine as I grabbed his chest, my nails digging into his skin to keep from squirming under the electricity pulsing through me.

In that moment, there were no other people in the world. There were no feelings I was afraid of, or needed to hide. All I felt was Logan's body against mine, and his lips feeding off the addiction in our kiss. With the way he held me, gentle but firm, and the way we kissed, starving and honest, a sudden realization clicked in my brain. It was a shock to my system and, perhaps, the closest to an epiphany I've had in my twenty-six years.

❤ Leap of Faith ❤

Logan will always be in my heart. From the day he entered my life, he would forever be part of me. It was embedded beneath my skin. Encrypted in my DNA. Like every organ in my body, it was part of who I am. I couldn't be rid of them. I couldn't live without them. I have brown hair, blue eyes and, no matter what, I will always love Logan deep down in my heart.

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