Here's a new chapter! It starts with Klaus's POV after Detective Dupin appears. I kind of skipped that part but I'm sure you all pretty much already know what happens there.

Anyways… The Baudelaires and Jane are reunited once again!

Enjoy! R&R please!

Also, the chapter will be a little weird for the moment because for some reason I couldn't get to the editor thing on Doc Uploader. But hopefully I'll fix it soon.

Chapter Nine: Deus Ex Machina

Klaus Baudelaire

Detective Dupin brought us to the Deluxe Cell. I looked inside and saw the dirty floor, walls, and a single bench as furniture. It certainly was the dirtiest cell, but that wasn't what made me freeze. Sitting on the bench was someone who looked so familiar, yet so different. She had the same face with her small nose, her unforgettable blue eyes, and her small mouth.

But her hair…that long, blonde hair had been chopped off, her eyes no longer showed that same spark of happiness either. And she was covered in more bruises and cuts. She was curled up in the corner of the wooden bench, with a troubled look on her face. She didn't glance up when we approached. She was staring past us, at the cell across from her as if someone was there.

"What did you do to her?" I spat at Detective Dupin, gritting my teeth. He had removed his sunglasses and I glared up at his shiny eyes.

"I'm afraid poor, little Rapunzel has lost her hair," Dupin said as he tossed us into the cell.

"How dare you!" I snapped, angrily.

"The girl deserved what she got," Dupin said, sneered, "just like you three deserved what you'll get tomorrow."

"If you burn us at stake," Violet said, "then you'll never get your hands on the Baudelaire fortune."

"Don't worry," Dupin said in his raspy voice, "you won't be burned at the stake—not all of you, at least. Tomorrow afternoon, one of you will make a miraculous escape—if you consider being smuggled out of V.F.D. by one of my assistants to be an escape. The other two will burn at the stake as planned. You bratty orphans are too stupid to realize it, but a genius like me knows that it may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes one child to inherit a fortune." Dupin laughed harshly and began to shut the cell door. "But I don't want to be cruel," he said, giving us a smile that showed that was the exact opposite of his intentions. "I'll let you three decide who gets the honor of spending the rest of their puny life with me, and who gets to be burned at the stake. I'll be back at lunchtime for your decision. And in case you get stuck, I'm sure Jane will be more than happy to help you. Right, Jane?"

Jane didn't move an inch; her eyes were still glued to whatever she was seeing.

"Good," Olaf said, giving her a wicked smile. Then he closed the cell and left.

I went to Jane right away, I felt sick to my stomach seeing her this way. I slowly approached her, gently touching her shoulder. My touch made her flinch slightly but she didn't move her gaze, or anything else.

"Jane," I whispered, unable to keep tears from my eyes. This tore me apart in a way that I couldn't understand. It was if I was looking at her shell, just a ghost of the girl who meant so much to me for reasons I couldn't fully understand.

"Ja," Sunny said, gently biting her hand.

"Talk to us, Jane," Violet said, sitting beside her and putting a hand on her back, "you can tell us what happened."

"Nothing happened," Jane said in a hoarse whisper.

"You can trust us, Jane," I said, "It doesn't matter to us what happened."

Jane sighed. "All I can tell you is that I snuck into his tower," she said, looking like she was going to burst into tears. "The Quagmires too. Except, I was the only one who got caught."

"Is that why he chopped off your hair?" I asked. Jane pursed her lips and didn't answer, but I didn't need her confirmation.

"I'm so sorry, Jane," Violet said, softly.

Jane took a deep, shaky breath. Suddenly she seemed so fragile like at any moment she would shatter into a million pieces on the floor.

"Well," I said, thinking of a way to cheer Jane up, "if its any consolation, I think you still look pretty."

Jane mustered a sad smile. A flush of pink touched her cheeks slightly. "Thanks, Klaus."

"Did you get a chance to meet Jacques?" Violet asked, "He was sent to this jail cell after being convicted."

Jane just nodded. "But he wasn't here long," she said. "He was burned at the stake, right?"

I frowned. "No," I said, shaking my head, sadly, "Jane, he was murdered…by Count Olaf."

"Oh," Jane said, so quietly that I had to strain my ears to hear her. Tears filled her eyes and she glanced miserably up at us. "I-I'm so sorry. I should've—"

"It's okay, Jane," Violet said, "you didn't know."

Suddenly, Jane began to weep, more tears streamed from her eyes. Violet put an arm around her and Jane leaned her head on Violet's shoulder. She cried a cry that was filled with so much pain and grief that it nearly broke my heart. I knew no matter what, her pain was my fault. I had failed to protect Jane from Count Olaf. Maybe then, she wouldn't be so upset about her hair and being punished. As I watched her continue to sob relentlessly, there was a pang in my heart that told me she might be weeping for more than that reason.

Jane Rumary

"We shouldn't waste anytime worrying about me though," I said after a moment, wiping my eyes, "we need to figure out what to do. I don't care what he said about choosing only one of you, none of you are going to be burning at the stake or going in his clutches. And it sounds like contacting Mr. Poe isn't an option. He's never any help." I know helping the Baudelaires might make me get caught again, but in those last few moments of weeping, I had realized that it shouldn't matter what happened to me. the Baudelaires needed my help to get out of Olaf's clutches. I couldn't bare to see any of them die to on account of Count Olaf.

"That's why we're going to have to escape," Violet said.

"Frulk!" Sunny said.

"I know it's a jail cell," Violet said, "but there has to be some way to get out." Violet pulled her hair ribbon out of her pocket and tied up her hair, sounding confident. She began to examine the cell for anything useful.

"But how?" I asked, although I was determined to help, I wasn't entirely sure how I would go about helping them to escape. "I've been in this place for almost a couple days so far and I've come up with nothing."

"Do you think you could make another lockpick?" Klaus asked looking hopeful. "You made an excellent one when we lived with Uncle Monty."

"Not this time," Violet replied, "The door locks from the outside, so a lockpick would be of no use." Violet squeezed her eyes shut and then lifted her head to look up at the tiny barred window. We all followed her gaze.

"Boiklio?" Sunny asked, which meant, "Do you think you could make some more welding torches, to melt the bars? You made some excellent ones when we lived with the Squalors."

"Not this time," Violet said, again, "If I stood on the bench and Klaus stood on my shoulders and Jane stood on Klaus's shoulders and you stood on Jane's shoulders, we could probably reach the window, but even if we melted the bars, the window isn't big enough to crawl through, even for Sunny."

"Sunny could call out the window," Klaus said, "and try to attract the attention of someone to come and save us."

"Thanks to mob psychology, every citizen of V.F.D. thinks that we're criminals," Violet pointed out, "No one is going to come rescue an accused murderer and her accomplices."

"What about me?" I suggested, "I'm not accused of anything."

Klaus frowned at me. "I don't want Detective Dupin's attention to be on you this time," he said, "I can't bare to see you get hurt again."

I was about to protest when Violet spoke.

"Rats," she said.

I jumped. "Where?" Klaus said, looking startled.

"I don't mean there are rats in the cell," Violet said, "I just mean 'Rats!' I was hoping that bench would be made of wooden boards held together with screws and nails. Screws and nails are always handy for inventions. But it's just a solid, carved piece of wood, which isn't handy at all." Violet sat back down on the bench and sighed. "I don't know what I can do," she admitted.

Klaus, Sunny, and I exchanged nervous glances. Honestly, I had no idea what to do either. All I wanted to do was curl back up into a ball on the floor and never move again.

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Klaus said.

"Maybe you'll think of something, Klaus," Violet replied, looking at him. "There must be something you've read that could help us."

Klaus closed his eyes, trying to remember. "If you tilted the bench," he said, "it would be a ramp. The ancient Egyptians used ramps to build the pyramids."

"But we're not trying to build a pyramid!" Violet cried, in exasperation, "We're trying to escape from jail!"

"I'm just trying to be helpful!" Klaus cried. "If it weren't for you and your silly hair ribbons, we wouldn't have been arrested in the first place!"

"And if it weren't for your ridiculous glasses," Violet snapped back at Klaus, "we wouldn't be here in this jail!"

"Stop!" Sunny cried.

"Don't fight," I added, furrowing my eyebrows. Their fighting brought more pain to my heart. I couldn't bear to see them like this. Especially right now. "It's not a good time to turn against each other. We need to stick together if we're going to get out of here."

Violet and Klaus glared angrily at each other for a moment before they sighed.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Klaus," Violet said, gloomily, "Of course it's not your fault that we're here."

"It's not yours either," Klaus said, "I'm just frustrated. I can't stand knowing Olaf hurt Jane. And only a few hours ago we thought we might be able to find the Quagmires and Jane, and save Jacques."

"Well, we did find Jane, at least," Violet said, glancing at me with a small smile. Then, she was frowning again, "We were too late to save Jacques, though."

"I'm sorry," I said, shifting my gaze to the filthy floor of the cell. "I know its my fault he's dead."

"No it's not, Jane," Klaus said, touching my arm so I looked back up at his gentle brown eyes. "Why would you ever say that? We all know it was Olaf's fault. What we really need is Deus ex machina."

"What's that?" I asked.

Klaus gave me a smile and his hand fell back to his side as he launched into an explanation, "'Deus ex machina' is a Latin term that means 'the god from the machine'," he said, looking at all of us in turn. "It means the arrival of something helpful when you least expect it." He paused, looking at me sadly. "We need to rescue you, Jane, and the Quagmires from the clutches of a villain, and solve the sinister mystery surrounding us, but we're trapped in the filthiest cell of the uptown jail, and tomorrow afternoon we're supposed to be burned at the stake. It would be a wonderful time for something helpful to arrive unexpectedly."

Suddenly, we heard footsteps and then, Esmé, who was Officer Luciana unlocked and opened the heavy door of the Deluxe Cell, wearing a scowl beneath her visor. She was holding a loaf of bread and a pitcher of water. "If it were up to me, I wouldn't be doing this," she said, "but Rule #141 clearly states that all prisoners receive bread and water, so here you go." She thrust the bread and pitcher of water into Violet's hands before she left. Violet stared at the spongy looking bread and the pitcher of water that had a painting of seven crows flying in a circle.

"Well, at least we have some nourishment," she said. "Our brains need food and water to work properly."

Violet handed the pitcher of water to Sunny who took the first sip and the loaf of bread to Klaus. Klaus took a chunk of bread from it and handed me the loaf.

"You should eat, Jane," he said, "you look like you haven't been fed in a while."

I didn't want to seem greedy, but I really haven't eaten in a while and I've only been receiving bread in slices. I was so hungry that I had to force myself not to devour the whole loaf.

After I had eaten some of the spongy, yet satisfying bread, I looked up to find Klaus still staring at his piece of bread. His eyes were glistening with tears.

I held out the rest of the loaf to him. "Do you want the rest?" I asked. I couldn't stand to see him hurting.

Klaus shook his head. "I-I just remembered," he said, in a small, sad voice. "It's my birthday. I'm eleven today."

I gaped and suddenly, I felt even guiltier that I had all of that bread in my hands and Klaus only had a chunk of it. I laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, Klaus," Violet said, "It is your birthday. We forgot all about it."

"I forgot all about it myself, until this very moment," Klaus said, "Something about this bread made me remember my tenth birthday, when our parents made that bread pudding."

"I remember," Violet said, smiling. "That was the worst desert we ever tasted."

"Vom," Sunny agreed.

"It was a new recipe that they were trying out," Klaus said, mostly for my ears. "They wanted it to be special for my birthday, but it was burned and sour and soggy. And they promised that the next year, for my eleventh birthday, I'd have the best birthday meal in the world." He looked at all of us, having to remove his glasses to wipe his teary eyes. "I don't mean to sound spoiled," he continued and looked directly at me, "especially since Jane never got anything for any of her birthdays. But I was hoping for a better birthday meal than bread and water in the Deluxe Cell of the uptown jail in the Village of Fowl Devotees."

"I'm sorry," I said, giving Klaus a hug, "And you don't sound spoiled at all. Besides…my previous birthdays weren't that bad."

Violet sat beside Klaus and put an arm around him. Sunny crawled onto Violet's lap and we all huddled together, crying for all of the terrible things that have happened to us since I was taken from my boarding school and their home was burned down.

"Klaus," Violet said giving Klaus a smile, when we were all finished crying, "Sunny, Jane, and I are prepared to offer you the birthday gift of your choice. Anything that you want at all in the Deluxe Cell, you can have."

"Thanks a lot," Klaus said, smiling as he glanced around the room, "What I'd really like is deus ex machina."

"Me, too," Violet said. She took the pitcher of water from Sunny.

"Happy birthday," I said, "I'm sorry that I don't have any deus ex machina."

Klaus smiled. "It's alright, Jane," he said, sweetly.

"Hold on a second," Violet said. She had moved over to the far end of the cell. She rubbed some dirt away to see what it was made of. Then she turned and smiled at us. "Happy birthday, Klaus," she said. "It looks like we do have deus ex machina afterall. Officer Luciana brought it to us."

"She didn't bring us a god in a machine," Klaus said, "She brought water in a pitcher."

"Brioche!" Sunny said, which meant, "And bread!"

"And by Officer Luciana, you mean Esmé Squalor," I said.

The Baudelaire's widened their eyes. "Officer Luciana is Esmé?" Klaus asked, shocked.

"You didn't know that?" I asked in surprise.

Violet shook her head. "No, we didn't," she said. "I suppose it makes sense though. Olaf always has an accomplice lurking nearby."

"Well, I guess it shouldn't be too surprising that you didn't notice," I said, "I was told who she really was and you haven't known her long enough to recognize her as easily as Olaf. But what were you saying about deus ex machina?"

"The bread and water are deus ex machina," Violet continued, "Now, get up off of the bench. We need the bench—it'll be handy after all. It's going to work as a ramp, just as Klaus said."

Violet put the loaf of bread against the wall so that it was directly under the barred window, and then tilted the bench toward the same spot. "We're going to pour the pitcher of water so it runs down the bench, and hits the wall," she said. "Then, it'll run down the wall to the bread, which will act like a sponge and soak up the water. Then, we'll squeeze the bread so the water goes into the pitcher, and start over."

"But what will that do?" I asked.

"The walls of this cell are made of bricks," Violet said, "with mortar between the bricks to keep them together. Mortar is a type of clay that hardens like glue, so a mortar-dissolver would loosen the bricks and allow us to escape. I think we can dissolve the mortar by pouring water on it."

"But how?" Klaus asked, "The walls are so solid, and water is so gentle."

"Water is one of the most powerful forces on earth," Violet replied, "Ocean waves can wear away at cliffs made of stone."

"Donax!" Sunny said, which meant, "But that takes years and years, and if we don't escape, we'll be burned at the stake tomorrow afternoon."

"No one's going to be burned," I said. I recalled when Count Olaf had burned all of my belongings. Including the photo of the Baudelaires and I. I shuddered as I recalled the flames that had devoured it. "I can't bear to lose any of you, especially not that way. It's bad enough that Jacques was killed." Every time I thought of watching Jacques Snicket being murdered in front of my eyes, I began to tremble and I couldn't breathe. I pinched myself to make the trembling stop, but it wasn't enough to hide how upset I was.

Klaus put a hand on my shoulder; seeing that I was upset even though he could never understand half of what I knew. I couldn't tell them what happened or Count Olaf would be furious. They just needed to get out of here. Besides, it wouldn't make a difference if I told them that I saw it happened because either way, Jacques was killed.

"Come on," Violet said, "we'd better stop entertaining the notion, and start pouring the water. We'll have to keep it up all night if we want to dissolve the mortar. I'll stand at this end, propping up the bench. Klaus, you stand next to me and pour the water, and Jane, you stand near the bread, and bring it back to me when it's soaked up all the water. Ready?"

We took our positions as Violet directed. Sunny was going to supervise us and give encouragement if we needed it. "Ready!" Klaus, Sunny, and I said simultaneously and began to operate the mortar-dissolver. Violet held the bench, Klaus poured the water, and I brought Klaus the soaked bread so he could squeeze it into the pitcher.

The effect the water had on the mortar slowly began to show. I pulled the flower from my pocket and looked at it as I continued working. It made me think of Jacques Snicket, of course, and although it brought me a great deal amount of pain, it also brought me a sense of security and hope. Someone, no matter where he was, was looking out for me. Maybe I would meet someone else who's related to me in some way too. I highly doubted it, but for the moment it was soothing to hope for a brighter future.

A thought occurred to me then, and my mind wandered to Lemony Snicket. It hadn't occurred to me before and it brought me more pain. If I was this devastated over Jacques' death, I couldn't imagine how Lemony Snicket would take it. I suddenly felt guiltier than I had before. How could I let Count Olaf kill him? Why didn't I think of a plan of escape like Violet? Now I was going to let him down, after I got mad at him for lying to me about his name.

I began to sob again. I just couldn't stop thinking about it and I still hated myself for allowing it to happen.

"Are you okay, Jane?" Violet asked, gently as she continued to prop up the bench for Klaus to pour the water.

"Um, y-yeah," I mumbled, "I'm just…"

"Don't worry, Jane," Klaus said, as he poured the water, "we'll get you out of here soon. And then you'll be free from Olaf and Esmé. Hopefully we'll be able to say the same for the Quagmires."

I nodded. "I hope you're right," I said, averting my eyes. The truth was, after everything that had happened since being kidnapped by Olaf, I wasn't entirely sure if it was worth trying to escape. Olaf would probably find me easily and get me back in his clutches somehow. And I didn't want to think about what would happen if I were caught again. Besides, I just didn't have it in me to attempt to escape. The important thing was to help the Baudelaires and Quagmires; I'll worry about myself once their safe.

Klaus smiled sadly at me and said, "I think I know what will cheer you up," and began to softly sing:

"It's empty in the valley of your heart

The sun, it rises slowly as you walk

Away from all the fears

And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat

You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see

But I have seen the same

I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time"

At this moment I chose to join in, remembering Jacques telling me to keep singing.

"You take what is yours and I'll take mine

Now let me at the truth

Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears

I can see widows and orphans through my tears

I know my call despite my faults

And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again."

Now, even Violet and Sunny began to sing with us. Despite how upset I was, I couldn't help but smile a little. I knew I should hold on to this moment because if I really wasn't intending to escape with them then, my time was ticking away.

"So come out of your cave walking on your hands

And see the world hanging upside down

You can understand dependence

When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call

And sing all you want

I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now

And I need to know how

To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again."

The last few rays of the sun poured into the cell as we continued to work on our mortar-dissolving device and I noticed that some mortar had actually worn away a little.

"Grespo," Sunny said, speaking my mind. By this she meant, "Quite a bit of mortar has actually begun to wear away."

"That's good news," Klaus said. "If your invention saves our lives, Violet, it will be the best birthday present you've ever given me, including that book of Finnish poetry you brought me when I turned eight."

"Speaking of poetry," Violet yawned, "why don't we talk about Isadora Quagmire's couplets? We still haven't figured out where the triplets are hidden, and besides, if we keep talking it'll be easier to stay awake."

"Good idea," Klaus said.

"Couplets?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows, "How have you been receiving couplets from Isadora? Aren't they being kept hidden somewhere?"

"Yes," Klaus said, "but somehow they have managed to send us these couplets by crow. We think they're clues that will help us figure out where they are hidden."

"You don't have any idea where they are, do you?" Violet asked.

I shook my head. "I'm afraid I don't," I said, "Count Olaf has made sure that I won't be able to interfere with any of his plans. He thinks the Quagmires are a bad influence on me and he said they know too much. But I'm not allowed to know anything."

"That's alright," Klaus said, "maybe you could help us decipher these poems."

Then he began to recite each couplet from memory:

"For sapphires we are held in here.

Only you can end our fear.

Until dawn comes we cannot speak.

No words can come from this sad beak.

The first thing you read contains the clue,

An initial way to speak to you."

I listened to each couplet and as we continued to work I tried to think about what it could mean. But I probably wouldn't be of much help. I knew very little about the geography of the Village of Fowl Devotees, let alone what kind of places it contained that were big enough to hide two average sized children.

"Water might be one of the most powerful forces on earth," Violet said, as we heard the sound of crows—probably the crows that carried the couplets to the Baudelaires, "but poetry is probably the most confusing. We've talked and talked, and we still don't know where the Quagmires are hiding."

"We need another dose of deus ex machina," Klaus said. "If something helpful doesn't arrive soon, then we won't be able to rescue the Quagmires even if we do escape from this cell."

"Psst!"

I jumped and nearly dropped the loaf of bread that I was holding. The Baudelaires were startled too and Violet and Klaus nearly dropped what they were holding. We glanced up and could see the faint form of someone's face.

"Psst! Baudelaires!" the voice whispered. I backed slowly out of view. I knew it would be a big mistake if someone saw me; I knew it would infuriate Olaf if anyone knew where I was being hidden.

"Who is it?" Violet whispered back. "We can't see you."

"It's Hector," Hector whispered. "I'm supposed to be downtown doing the morning chores, but I sneaked over here instead."

"Can you get us out of here?" Klaus whispered.

There was silence as we waited for a reply and for a moment I thought Hector or whoever it was left. But then he sighed. "No," I heard him say, "Officer Luciana has the only key, and this jail is made of solid brick. I don't think there's a way I can get you out."

"Dala?" Sunny asked.

"My sister means, did you tell the Council of Elders that we were with you the night Jacques was murdered, so we couldn't have committed the crime?"

There was more silence. "No," Hector said. "You know that the Council makes me too skittish to talk. I wanted to speak up for you when Detective Dupin was accusing you, but one look at those crow hats and I couldn't open my mouth. but I thought of one thing I can do to help."

Klaus put down the pitcher of water to examine the mortar on the wall. Violet's invention appeared to be working efficiently, but could we really manage to escape before the Baudelaires are burned at the stake?

"What's that?" Klaus asked Hector.

"I'm going to get the self-sustaining hot air mobile home ready to go," he said. "I'll wait at the barn all afternoon, and if somehow you manage to escape, you can float away with me."

"Okay," Violet said, "We're trying to break out of this cell right now, so maybe we'll make it."

"Well, if you're breaking out now, I'd better go," Hector said, "I don't want to get in trouble. I just want to say that if you don't make it and you are burned at the stake, it was very nice making your acquaintance. Oh—I almost forgot."

Hector reached through the bars to drop a slip of paper down to the Baudelaires. "It's another couplet," he said, "It doesn't make sense to me, but maybe you'll find it helpful. Good-bye, children. I do hope I see you later."

"Good-bye, Hector," Violet said miserably, "I hope so too."

"Bye," Sunny muttered.

Hector paused and I think he expected Klaus to say something. But he was silent. I wandered if he was just too annoyed to respond, but when my head turned to look at him, he was staring at the couplet with a wide grin on his face. I knew that grin could only mean one thing. My heart rose with the hope that they may escape after all and so would the Quagmires. For now, it was all I could hope for.

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