Chapter 19: Only In My Dreams
DISCLAIMER: PoT is not mine. If it were mine, Tezuka would have been the main character, and it would have probably been a love story…with Ami. (^_^)
Let's take it a little slowly this time…because we went zoom, zoom last chapter.
Those written "like this" are either dreams, or a flashback, and those written "like this" are the scenes happening in the present time.
-oOo-
"…that's why it's so easy for you to ignore me….ignore me…ignore me…ignore me…*crash*"
Kunimitsu jumps up from his bed sweating. It was the same dream he's been having for several months since he got to Germany. He breathes heavily and reaches for his glasses. He brushes his hair up and realized it's too long. Maybe I should get a haircut. He thinks. He checks the time, it was too early to do anything and he did have classes today, because yes, even rising tennis stars need their education; that's what he believed in. He knew it was pointless to return to bed, because he'd probably just dream the same dream, or not be able to go back to sleep at all.
In an effort to collect himself, he walks to the kitchen and boils some tealeaves. He sits on a chair in his kitchen and glances at the empty chair on the opposite side of the table. He missed his grandfather.
"Kunimitsu."
"Hai."
"You've been having nightmares since we got here." Kunikazu tells his grandson matter-of-factly.
"I'm just adjusting to the environment Oji-san." He reasons out.
"Hmn. Well, you better adjust soon because I only have one more month to spend with you before I go home." Kunikazu replied less than convinced with his grandson's reason.
"Hai."
"How's that girlfriend of yours? It must be difficult for her, you leaving to pursue your dream like this." Kunikazu asked again, pretty much waiting for an admission from his grandson.
"We we're never really together Oji-san." He replied.
"But I thought you two had a relationship." Kunikazu confused by his grandson's response.
"Iie, that's not what I mean Oji-san, I mean, we live in different countries so we never really were together physically, so this isn't much of a change." He tried to explain.
"But the time difference is bigger now." Kunikazu stated before sipping his tea.
"Six hours." Kunimitsu replied in a breath of exasperation.
"So by the time you wake up, she'd be having lunch already. By the time she's ready to go to sleep, you'd still be in school, or tennis practice. How are you ever going to communicate?" Kunikazu placed the truth cards in lay.
I don't even know if we will ever communicate again. Kunimitsu thought to himself.
The clanking of the pot snapped him out of his thinking. He truly missed his grandfather, at least when he was there he could pretend that nothing happened, he could pretend that Amani still existed in his world. Now he was alone, and the loneliness he had to face gets more real every day. She was gone. And he had no way of finding her again. He snaps back to reality again when he felt the hot tea pouring over the cup into his hands.
"Itte!" he exhales and runs water to relieve the burnt hand. He'd probably kill himself from daydreaming. He walks over to his computer and opens it, he had a good two hours before he needed to get ready for school so he goes and checks his mail. His favourite mails were those coming from home.
From: Oishi Shuichiro [bigstone ]
Subject: Just dropping a note
Message:
How are you doing Tezuka? It's been six months since you left. Summer is almost over and the trees have begun to witter their leaves. My new high school is great, we're seriously studying sciences now, we have regular exams; I'm doing fairly well. I never thought preparing for Medical studies could be this difficult. I already told you I didn't join the tennis club here in my new school right? It just doesn't feel the same. Anyway, fall must also be starting there right? How's your school? How's tennis training? We all watched your game last time from the video that your Okaa-san gave us; you were amazing as always Tezuka. Ryuzaki-sensei got all teary-eyed watching you, she's very proud of you. Sa, I've taken too much of your time. I hope you keep safe there; we're all rooting for you here.
Oishi
P.S. I hope you haven't forgotten your promise, not to forget her.
He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, he didn't need Oishi to remind him, because the only thing he kept thinking of everyday was the crying girl in the mirror. He dreams of her, he hears her voice when he's alone, he can feel her hand brushing his hair when he lies down and closes his eyes. He sees her face everywhere he turns his head. He was desperate to find her all over again.
I wonder what she's doing right now. He thinks as he looks out his dorm room window.
-oOo-
Amani stared at the Comparative Anatomy textbook in front of her, she's been reading page 137 for about six times now, but not a single word was registering in her brain. In desperation she closes her book. As much as she hated it, she still misses Kunimitsu, even if her last memory of him was the argument that led to the racket breaking the mirror.
"Can someone please remind me why I entered a Science course again?" She says to no one in particular.
"Because you wanted to help rehabilitate athletes. That's what you said in the beginning of term." Wendy answered her question, and then went back to reading her book.
"Yeah, right. That's what I said wasn't it?" Amani answers her back, then opens her book again trying to read page 137 for the seventh time, in the hope that maybe this time she'd get what she was reading.
She looks around at the people surrounding her, she had a different group of friends now, Wendy, Hannah and Naomi. None of them knew about Kunimitsu, because she never really felt like telling them about him. How could she explain her boyfriend from the other side of the mirror after all? Cathleah went to the same University, but she was in an Art course so they rarely get to spend time together now. But she still considered Cathleah her best friend; they were roommates in the dormitory. After all, only Cathleah would understand her, when she suddenly cries with no apparent reason.
"Breaks almost over, let's go Ami." Hannah calls her back to reality.
"Your day dreaming again." Naomi tells her as they grab their bags.
"Maybe I'm just having a difficult time understanding Comparative Anatomy." Amani reasons out.
"You? Are you kidding, you have the highest grades in class." Wendy
"Yeah, you're like the smartest person in the batch." Naomi agrees.
"Is this about a boy Ami?" Hannah finally breaks the question.
"Yeah, do you have a boyfriend? We've been hanging out together for four months and you know all our crushes, but we never hear you talk about boys." Wendy added.
Because there is only one boy I am interested in, and he's probably in Germany right now…doing God knows what. She thought.
"Hey, Ami! You're zoning out again." Naomi slaps Ami on the arm.
"Huh? Oh, gomennasai." Amani replies.
"Gomenna-what?" Wendy snaps at her.
"Oh, you're into anime and manga and all those stuff?" Hannah asks her friend.
"Not really." Amani replies realizing what she had just said earlier.
"But you just spoke Nihonggo, are you part Japanese or something? Did you live there before?" Hannah began interrogating her friend.
"Do I look like I'm part Japanese to you?" Amani asks back.
"Not really, you look more half-Spanish really, because of your hair." Hannah replies.
"So how do you know Nihonggo?" Wendy added.
"Someone thought me."
"Really, who?" Naomi joins in.
"A special friend." Amani replies.
"A special friend? You mean boyfriend right?" Wendy clarifies.
"Sort of."
"What do you mean sort of, how can you have a boyfriend 'sort of', that's just crazy." Hannah violently reacts.
"Is he Japanese?" Naomi wanting to learn more.
"Half-Japanese?" Wendy added.
"No, pure." Amani replied.
"So you do have a boyfriend?" Hannah asks again.
"Let's talk about something else." Amani trying to avoid the topic.
"Why? Did you guys break up already?" Wendy.
"No." Amani replies. Technically we never broke up, didn't we? She asks herself.
"So, why avoid the topic?" Naomi wondered.
"Good morning every one, ready for today's quiz?" their Comparative Anatomy professor greets them as he steps into the room.
Oh thank God! Amani says to herself.
-oOo-
"Hey, Kunimitsu!" a male schoolmate calls him from behind. "Coach wanted me to give this to you." He hands over a note.
"Danke." He replies and continues his walk to class.
It's been six months since he started living in Germany and almost a month since he began his studies and, but he has not made any friends yet. Well, he wasn't very good at making any after all, if Oishi and Fuji weren't in the Tennis Club, he wouldn't be friends with them, probably.
"Are you going to class?" a female voice greeted him as he walks the hallways.
"Ja." He replies.
"Für einen Ausländer sprechen Sie gut Deutch." She replies
"I studied the language before coming here." Kunimitsu replies coldly, he was not into socializing, even more, with a girl.
"I see, well, you're pretty good at it." She commends him.
"Es tut mir leid, are we classmates?" Kunimitsu asks the girl who seem to be walking towards the same direction he was.
"We've been classmates for almost a month, you haven't noticed me?" the girl replied.
"Gomennansai."
"Ich bitte um Verzeihung?" she replied not understanding what Kunimitsu said.
"I said I'm sorry, es tut mir leid, sometimes I still speak Nihonggo, I forget that people won't understand what I'm saying." Kunimitsu apologizes and turns to enter their class.
"Keine worries. Ich bin übrigens Adalheid Kuester." She introduced herself.
"Pleasure to meet you, I'm…"
"Kunimitsu Tezuka; I know who you are." She smiles at him and shakes his hand before walking over to her desk.
That was weird, she knows my name. He thought before walking over to his desk.
-oOo-
"Hi Ami." A male voice calls him as she was browsing for a reference book in the library.
"Tim?" Amani surprised by the boy greeting him, after all it's been almost a year since he last spoke to her. I forgot you go to this University as well. She thought.
"How have you been?" Timothy walks closer.
"I've been good. My course is a bit difficult, but I'm enjoying it." She responds a bit uncomfortable talking to the boy.
"Good. So I heard from Leah that you've lost communication with your boyfriend." He said going straight to the point.
"Oh that." She replies and begins to walk away carrying the book she got from the shelf to find a desk. Must make you really happy to learn about that? She thought as she sat on an empty study cubicle, Timothy still following her and sat across from her.
"What happened?" Timothy inquires.
"Misunderstanding." Amani coldly replied and began to flip the pages of the book she had.
"You always had misunderstandings." Timothy smugly said.
"Yeah, we did, what relationship doesn't?" Amani replied a bit irritated and tried to concentrate on answering her homework.
"So, are you guys over now?" Timothy said.
"What?" Amani replied very irritated. "You know what Tim, number one we're in a library, so generally no talking while in the library; number two, you ignored me for almost a year because you were mad at my boyfriend, for a reason that I myself cannot understand; then you come up to me now and interrogate me about him. What exactly do you want Timothy?"
"Sorry. I may have approached you a bit harshly. Excuse me." Timothy stands and walks away, but not without turning his head and saying, "I still hate him though."
Well, I still love him. She answered him in her mind.
-oOo-
"Good work Kunimitsu, that'll be all for today." His coach tells him at the end of practice.
"Danke." He replies before grabbing a towel and heading to the locker room.
"Gute arbeit." A female voice greeted him as he passes the bleachers.
"Huh?" he turns his head towards the direction of the voice.
"You have excellent play." Adalheid greets him.
"Danke." He replies then begins to walk towards the lockers again.
"I thought you were the snobbish one, but I never thought you were this snobbish." Adalheid walks after him.
"Es tut mir leid, I'm a bit tired from practice." He turns around and bows before turning back to walk away.
"He's a slippery one ain't he Adelheid?" one of her female friends, Clarimond tells her as they watch Kunimitsu walk away.
"I hear he has a girlfriend." Another female friend, Hermine says.
"But I hear the girl friend isn't from Japan, she lives somewhere else so they never really got to spend time together even before." Clarimond added.
"They say distance makes the heart grow fonder…or it can make it forget." Adalheid states a flirtatious tone in her voice.
"What are you thinking Adalheid?" Hermine asks her friend with a naughty smile.
"Remember girls, what Adalheid Kuester wants, Adalheid Kuester gets. Let's go." She walks away and snaps her hand and her two friends followed her giggling.
-oOo-
"So, I heard Timothy went to talk to you today." Cathleah asks her friend as they were having dinner in her dormitory room.
"More like interrogated me." Amani replied.
"He still loves you Ami. You can't blame the guy." Cathleah said in Timothy's defence.
"Who's side are you in Leah?"
"Yours of course, but you know, Tim is a friend too, so, I need to understand his side as well." Cathleah explained.
"You know that's never going to happen Leah. I can't…" Amani puts her utensils down and pushes her plate away, she just lost her appetite.
"You still love Kunimitsu don't you?"
"Who ever said I stopped loving him?" Amani replied her arms crossed.
"Do you think you'll ever see him again?" Cathleah asked, a bit doubtful.
"I don't know." Amani stands up and walks to her window, "I hope so."
"You know, it's almost your birthday." Cathleah changing the subject.
"Yeah it is isn't it?" Amani looks at her bed where the tennis bear was sitting.
"That was his gift to you last year isn't it?" Cathleah also noticing the bear on the bed.
"Yes it was." Amani felt her eyes welling up again and turns her head back to stare out her window.
"You're crying again aren't you?" Cathleah puts her utensils down and stand to walk towards Amani.
"No." Amani denies, but her voice was shaking.
"It's okay if you are." Cathleah rubbing Amani's arms to comfort her.
"I just miss him so much Leah." Amani began crying and turning her head to her study desk where their picture was framed. "Sometimes when I look at the mirror, I wish I could see him instead of myself."
Cathleah stood silent just comforting her friend. She couldn't say anything; she didn't know what to say.
-oOo-
"Moshi, moshi." Kunimitsu answers his phone.
"Moshi, moshi Tezuka." A male voice answers from the other line.
"Fuji?" he recognizes the voice.
"How are you?" Fuji asks from the other line.
"I'm good. Just got home from practice. I was about to eat dinner actually." Kunimitsu replied while placing a plate and chopsticks on the table.
"Oh, gomen, did I disturb you?" Fuji apologetically asks.
"Iie, daijabou, it's nice to hear from home." Kunimitsu said all excited, not that he would admit it of course.
"The guys are here to greet you." Fuji said as he passes the phone to someone else.
"Moshi, moshi, Tezuka, how's Germany?" Eiji excitedly asks over the phone.
"It's getting cold here, Fall is starting." Kunimitsu replied enthusiastically.
"Hontouni? Is it colder there than it is here during fall?" Eiji asks again.
"Hai, a bit."
"Here's Inui, Oi, Inui, Tezuka's on the line." Eiji screams at the other end of the line.
Kunimitsu distance the phone a bit from his ears after Eiji began screaming from the other end.
"Moshi, moshi, Tezuka, Inui desu."
"Hai, how are you Inui?" he inquires.
"We're doing good here, we're at Taka-san's celebrating with Kaidoh and the gang; you must have heard that they got into the Nationals again?" the data man elaborates.
"Hai, Oishi mailed me about that a couple of days ago."
"Sa, well, here's Taka-san." Inui passed the phone.
"Hello, Tezuka?" Kawamura said from the other line, from the sound of it Kawamura was probably holding a racket.
"Hai, Kawamura, how are you?"
"Great! Just great! I've been doing well with sushi chef training." The ex-power player replied.
"Good to hear Kawamura." He smiled a bit just imagining his teammates all gathered together like that.
"Here's Momo." Kawamura passing the phone to the now fukubuchou.
"Moshi, moshi, Tezuka-buchou!" Momoshiro happily greeted.
"Momoshiro omedetou gozaimasu."
"Arigato buchou, we hope we don't fail you in this year's nationals." The power player added.
"Iie, you won't." Kunimitsu confidently answered.
"Arigato buchou, Oi, Kaidoh, come talk to Tezuka-buchou!" The power player screamed from the other line.
"Moshi, moshi." A husky voice said; it was obviously his successor.
"Omedetou Kaidoh." He greeted.
"Arigato buchou, we definitely won't fail you in this year's Nationals." Kaidoh told his buchou.
"Aa."
"Here's Oishi-senpai, buchou."
"Moshi-moshi Tezuka?"
"Oishi, I just read your mail this morning. Who's phone are you using by the way?" Kunimitsu asked as the number did not register.
"It's Fuji's he changed his number a few days back when he lost his phone, fell out of his pocket I think." Oishi explained.
"Sou dane."
"Enjoying yourself out there Tezuka?" Oishi asked concerned.
"Hai, but I do miss being back home." He replies.
"Is that all you miss?" he heard Fuji's voice in the background.
"Iie, I miss Ami very much as well." He replies as he walks to his study desk where their picture was framed.
"I'm sorting out something's from middle school; I might find something that might help you communicate with her again." Oishi offered.
"Aa."
"Are you loosing hope Tezuka?" he heard Fuji say in the background.
"Iie, I swore to myself I'd find her again." He says as he grabs the framed picture.
"It's almost her birthday isn't it?" Oishi asked, remembering that they were there to surprise her the year before.
"Hai, in three days." Kunimitsu replied.
"So you still remember her birthday?" Fuji asks in the background.
"How can I forget?" he replied stroking the face of the girl in the picture.
"Well, don't lose hope Tezuka, you'll see each other again. I believe you will." Oishi encouraged his best friend.
"So do I." Fuji said in the background.
"Aa. I hope so." He replies.
"Sa, well you go and eat dinner; we're just about ready to leave here, it about nine at night here so we'll be going home soon." Fuji said on the other line.
"Keep in touch Tezuka." Oishi said in the background.
"I will."
"Bye, bye." His best friend said, "Hey everyone say goodbye to Tezuka!" Fuji called out.
"Bye, bye Tezuka/Buchou!" he heard the group say.
"Bye minna." He says before closing his phone.
He walks to his window, looks up the sky that was beginning to darken. He thinks of the girl that changed his life, the girl that made him smile like no one else could. He thinks of her and asks himself if she was thinking of him too.
-oOo-
From somewhere across the ocean Amani stares out her window, counts the stars in the night sky hugging Kunimitsu's bear. She wonders; if he still remembers her, if he still thinks about her, if he still loved her.
"Still staring out the window?" Cathleah said as she got out of the bathroom.
"Do you think he still remembers me Leah?"
"He'd be a fool not to."
"How much do you think it'll cost to go to Germany?" Amani turn and sits on her bed not letting go of her bear.
"Don't be silly, you don't even know if he did go to Germany. What if he stayed in Japan after your break-up?"
"We didn't break up, the mirror broke, not us." Amani defended.
"Right, sorry."
"Then how much do you think it'll cost to go to Japan?" Amani asked instead.
"Are you serious? You're in first year College, how do you think you're going to afford going there?" Cathleah answered.
"I'll save up my allowance."
"You need a visa."
"I'll get a tourist visa."
"Oh God, you're serious about this?" Cathleah astonished at her friends determination.
"I want to see him." Amani argued.
"Exactly how many years do you think it'll take before you can even save up money for airfare? Excluding other things that you have to pay for." Cathleah argued.
"I don't care how many years it takes, I want to go." Amani stubbornly replied.
"Wow." Was all Cathleah could say. "I wish he was as determined as you."
"He said that once."
"What?"
"He said that once, that he wanted to come see me. That when we were old enough he'd take me home to Japan in winter, and then we would spend every spring together watching the sakura bloom." Ami answered as she caressed the bear in her arms.
"What's its name?" Cathleah asked.
"What?"
"The bear, what's its name?" Cathleah pointing at the cuddly object Amani was hugging.
"Hikaru."
"What kind of name is that?"
"It's a Japanese name, it means light, and we came up with it together." Amani defended.
"Really now?"
"His name means province and light, Kuni- means province, Mitsu- means light; so I asked him for a Japanese male name that means light, and he gave that name." Amani explained.
"So you named the bear light?"
"Hikaru." Amani emphasized.
"Fine, Hikaru."
"Let's just go to sleep." Amani told her friend and got into her bed still hugging her bear. Because in my dreams, I can be with him.
-oOo-
"What do you want for your birthday?"
"As long as you're there, it doesn't matter." She smiled.
"How's Hikaru?"
"He misses his daddy." She holds out a bear and swings its arms as if it was waving at him.
"I miss you."
"You miss me? Yet you found it so easy to ignore me….ignore me…ignore me….*crash*."
He shoots up from his bed. He rubs his forehead and throws his pillow at the wall. He gets up from bed and walks to the window; at least he awoke just in time this time. He walks to the bathroom and turns on the shower, he lets the water run down his body, hoping it'll wash all the longing away. But how could he, when each night when he goes to sleep he sees her, and he's happy, but wakes up lonely again. He punches the wall of his shower. He was getting desperate. I have to go back to Asia. He thinks to himself. Screw tennis, I'm going after something I want more. He decides. Then he realizes, he can't. his parents will be very disappointed of him if he does. I'm saving up, I don't care how many years it takes, I'm going to go see her, I don't care if she forgets about me or find some other guy. I'm going to see her, even it means me getting hurt. I just want to see her.
-oOo-
"Final exams are almost here. I can't believe a semester is almost ending." Hannah reminded her friends.
"It went by so fast didn't it?" Naomi added.
"Hey, Ami what are your plans on Sunday? It's your birthday right?" Wendy asks the day dreaming Amani.
"Huh? What?"
"Day dreaming again?" Naomi asked.
"Oh, Sunday, yes. Church in the morning, then maybe eat with my family in the afternoon. Going back to the dormitory in the evening after all." Amani explained.
"No date with your boyfriend?" Wendy teased.
"How can they date when they're oceans apart?" Hannah defended.
More like continents apart. Or maybe dimensions apart. Amani thought.
"On-line date maybe? He knows how to use a computer right?" Naomi asked.
"Yes." Was a simple reply from Amani.
"So?"
"So what?" Amani said confused.
"Oh, your hopeless, how do the two of you survive this relationship?" Wendy getting frustrated.
"We manage." Amani lied.
Frankly she didn't want to talk about Kunimitsu with her new friends. They seemed like the kind of people who'll think of her as crazy if she does. And truthfully it was difficult to explain to them. But in her mind she did wonder, if Kunimitsu still remembers her birthday.
-oOo-
"Coach, can I leave early today?" Kunimitsu asks his tennis coach.
"Why, do you have a date?" his coach teased.
"No, I wanted to buy a birthday gift for someone." Kunimitsu explained.
"Girlfriend?" his coach asks again.
"Ja."
"Didn't know you had one." His coach teased.
"I do. We—So can I please leave early?" He changes the topic.
"Well, we don't have much in the training menu for today so I guess you can leave early." His coach replies.
"Danke." He bows and grabs his tennis bag to head for the shower.
"Where you going handsome?" Adalheid calls him from the bleachers.
"Buying a gift for my girlfriend." Kunimitsu replies a bit irritated. He was annoyed by the fact that Adalheid came to see him practice again.
"So the rumour is true, you do have a girlfriend." Adalheid stepping forwards to get closer to Kunimitsu.
"Ja."
"Why the cold treatment?" Adalheid ran her fingers through Kunimitsu's hair. She was after all almost as tall as he was, with orange hair, blue eyes and a very slim figure.
"Not to be rude Adalheid, but I need to go, and buy a birthday gift for my girlfriend." Kunimitsu replied, emphasizing the 'girlfriend' and turning to walk away from the flirting girl. Even if I have no idea how I'm going to send her the gift.
You may resist me now Kunimitsu, but I know what I want, and I always get what I want. Adalheid thought to herself, a smirk on her face, as she watched Kunimitsu walk to the locker room.
-oOo-
Had a few hours of free time today so I doodled a little on my laptop.
Okay, before any violent reaction, please give me a couple more chapters to explain before you all stab me to death…Tiff, I do mean you, hehe. (^_^)