A/N This will be the last of my updating spree for a little while, think I'm coming down with something. I think *fake dramatic coughing* it's called writers block. Anyway yeah that. That's it.

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Also thank you to those who faved and followed mah story! :)

Chapter twenty two

The pencil rolled across the center island from me to Donnie, then back to me again. I flicked out my index finger shooting back at Donnie. The monotonous sound of the pencil's edges making contact with the table top made my tired mind transfix into a trance of flick the pencil, let it get reflected by Donnie, flick it back and so on. I had my head in kind of an awkward side position on my elbow, which was bent so tight I could almost reach my other shoulder. My other arm sat leaned against my head and my hand dangled touching my short hair, only it moved to bat the pencil back at Don, this is just where I rested it for the time being. Donnie slouched in the stool, chin on the table, one hand on the edge to hit the pencil with.

"I'm so tired." I yawned, sensing an approaching Splinter, come to make his morning tea.

"Me...too." Donnie agreed yawning, slightly glancing up at the incoming Splinter.

"My Donatello, you are never up so early." Splinter observed chuckling as he came into the kitchen.

"Okay." Donnie sighed. He was so tired at this point I think he could be considered legally high. Splinter who was reaching for his tea kettle, paused, and turned to us.

Splinter hummed in thought. "You both look sleep deprived. What caused you both to lack sleep?" He looked around and before we could answer. "And where is Leonardo, he is usually out here by now." He asked staring directly at Donatello.

"He... Um... kept us up... Most of night..." Don trailed off seemingly falling asleep. Splinter looked quizzically at his third oldest.

Luckily I was here to save the day for Donnie. "Master Splinter, Leo wasn't feeling well last night. We were up taking care of him." I explained yawning and shutting my eyes which literally felt like they couldn't hold on to light any longer, I think my eyelids were about to physically give up anyway.

"Leonardo's not feeling well? Where is he at the moment?" Splinter asked. I sensed Don's hand fly up pointing generally towards the bathroom. "I shall go check on him then." Splinter said taking off. Poor Leo didn't want to leave the bathroom so Don and I ran a bath for him to get his fever down, where he only fell asleep. He needed the rest so Don and I left him.

I don't know how long we sat there but I drifted off thinking about pranks with Mikey then about the lab with Donnie, this lead me to thinking about the notes he tried to throw away. My mind instantly flooded with curiosity about it. What was it really about? What'd it say? Was my family going to be rescued? would I see Brady?-

I sensed Splinter returning into my radar, I peeped my head up and watched him walk back over to his tea making.

"How is he sensei?" I asked rubbing my tired eyes hoping to put some strength back in them.

"Leonardo is asleep. Restless with fever, but asleep." He replied. "I want you and Donatello get some rest as well. You have obviously been up long enough. I'll watch over Leonardo." Sensei told us, well me, Donnie was out cold. Splinter stepped toward his son gently shaking his shoulder. "Donatello."

"Hmm?" Donnie responded tiredly.

"Go get some rest." Splinter said softly helping Donatello to his feet, giving Donatello a pat on the back as he walked off. I headed towards my room, then Raph-

"Donnie!" Raph called from his spot on the couch, waking everyone else in the process.

I heard a loud groan from Donnie but Splinter stepped in.

"You rest, Donatello." Splinter said quietly to Donnie. "Hold on Raphael." Splinter said heading for Raph.

I awoke from my peaceful nap which lasted about four hours, it was enough for me to feel wide awake. I wasn't under any covers and I was face down, 'must have just plopped on the bed' I thought to myself. Neeko slipped from my shoulder as I turned and sat up.

"Silly little ferret." I said petting his long body.

I took the note from under my pillow remembering that I had intentions of reading it earlier, but fell asleep soon as I hit the bed. My curiosity powered right through my sleep enough for me to get right to reading. I put it at a reading distance and uncrumpled it. As I began to read my face went from calm and well rested; to Donnie, why the flap jack did you hide this from me?

The notes were bullets about where in dimension X my family was located, how they planned to rescue them, how they planned to break into dimension X, who they were going to rescue first and how to unlock the the security doors. There was more but I stopped reading for I had lightly scanned ahead and James' name appeared. I looked it over and over again, 'was I reading correctly?'. I pulled the paper closer, there it was smack at the bottom of the notes after all the calculations and coordinates.

"James: Not deceased..." There was more, but those first three words, those first three.

"James: Not deceased." It played like a broken record in my mind, every time it repeated, anger built.

"Donnie I trusted you guys." I muttered to myself. "Why didn't you say anything? I went two months think my brother was dead." Anger made my voice get higher. "How? How?" Tears trickled down my cheek. He didn't want me reading this?! I squeezed the paper, hard.

I shot off the bed, blasting through the newly fixed door. I bolted for Donnie's door, no thoughts ran through my mind as I ran for it. Tears streaming down my face as I reached his door, I pounded my fist so hard against his door that I heard a small crack come from my right pinky but there was no pain. I hit it again sending a couple loud bangs throughout the lair, sounded like gun shots, I sensed Splinter come up from behind Leo's door and Donnie to his own. The second the door knob turned I gave it a hard kick in, smashing the knob into the wall.

Donnie stared at me confused and frightened, his hand where the door knob was, frozen in time. I took a deep angry breath, adrenaline running through my veins.

"Two Months! Two months I though James was dead! I thought my family was gone!" I hiccuped crying and yelling. "You hid this from me!" I screamed shoving the note at him. "Donnie I thought I could trust you guys! You hid this from me! This is my family and you said nothing! You didn't let me read this!" I stammered, my throat hurt from screaming already. I had attracted the attention of everyone in lair. Splinter just watched from behind me, Leo not far behind him. As I took a couple of breaths Donnie looked to the floor shamefully, he looked up at me.

"Koda- Koda. Listen I'm Sorry. I-" He had no time. In a mere instant I let out a cry and lounged for him, he flinched back putting his hands and one leg up to defend himself.

I was jerked backwards by two strong arms from behind me pulling me back as I still tried to run for Donnie, wind was whipped from my lungs at the force my body made with Splinter's arms. Splinter had a tight grip on my torso as I struggled against him, my feet scuffing the floor trying to run.

"Sorry isn't good enough!" I yelled smashing my fists into Splinter's arms, he held on not giving. I elbowed, kicked, and swung at Splinter, no rational thoughts in my head.

"You hid this! How could you do that Donnie!?" I coughed losing my voice. "How could you do this?!" I stopped and gave a few hard punches to Splinter's thigh, but it did nothing. He kept trying to hold me still, also to no avail. "Let go! Let me go!" I cried at him, my voice causing ringing in my own ears.

"Koda calm-" Splinter started in usual stern tone.

"I will not calm the f*** down!" Let me go!" I twisted trying to loosen his grip. Raph, Mikey, Casey, April, Karai, and Leo all watched my fit of anger. Donnie looked at me as if asking silently for forgiveness. But i was angry with him. I looked around at everyone's faces, they were sad, I turned to Leo behind me, he too wore a look of sorrow for me. We locked gazes for a split second, his calmness quieting me more than Splinter. My anger slowly turned to crying and sobbing.

"How Donnie? Why?" I sniffled turning back to him.

He had no answer.

"Why Donnie!?" I asked my voice growing louder again. Donnie took a long time, he looked at me directly.

"Koda we didn't want you to know because..." He trailed off dragging his hand down his face as he stood in his own doorway.

"Why!?" I pressured, Splinter tightened his grip.

"I-We. Didn't want you to get hopeful over something that may not... work out." He said dropping his stare at me. "We may not ever be able to save them. That's the truth. You want more of the truth?" He said almost sounding angry himself. I gave an angry nod for him to continue. "If we barge in there to save them, we may only save one or two of them. The kraang will execute your family if we can't make it to them in time. It's what they do! We aren't sure if we can save them before they do that. Because they just might execute them anyway, with out us having to go there." Donnie almost yelled. "We were only hiding it for your own good. If you hadn't read it, you would have never known. I'm sorry Koda, we just-" Donnie stopped, he sounded on the verge of tears.

Leo stepped from behind Splinter and put a hand on my shoulder.

"We saw what happened to you last time. When we went back to your dimension, you broke down, we didn't want to see that again." He said soothingly before coughing. My gaze dropped to the floor. 'They were only protecting me.' My body shook with tears, I watched them one at a time slip to the floor. Splinter released his grip and I backed myself against the wall, Leo letting me slip away from under his hand. I slid down tightly gripping my knees, I stuffed my face in between where no one could see it. I could hear April crying and sense everyone exchanging glances. I felt numb, I didn't know what to do or say. I wanted to bash something, but I wanted to cry. I wanted to run away, but I wanted to stay here. I wanted still to yell at Donnie, but I didn't. I felt a hand tug me away from my own heap of sadness on the floor.

My eyes followed my arm to where it met Splinter's.

"Koda." He started. I dropped my gaze again and stared at the floor zoning out. Splinter called my name, I don't know how many times, but I couldn't bring myself to respond. Donnie knelt beside me, picking up my hand from Splinter.

"I'm sorry." He patted my hand gently. Donnie pulled me into a hug, I wanted to pry him off me, but I also, didn't want too. I was still for a moment before I found my arms wrapping around his neck, I buried my face into Donnie's shoulder. "I'm sorry." He repeated. "We'll do what ever we can Koda."

I sat in the dojo alone, it was around midnight, I sat with my legs under me, the moonlight cast a light blue glow from the storm grate. It was the only light in the dark room. I stared at my own hands, they were angry balled fists on my lap. Leo's fever got worse earlier in the night and Don took care of him, Splinter needed rest too and took a break. This left me alone, alone to think, alone to sit. Raph's condition deteriorated as well, but he wasn't as ill as Leo, more or less Raph just had a serious cough and a lot fluid in his lungs, and a fever, but less serious, he still complained though. This left Donnie and Mikey very busy. Again I was just alone.

I sensed Karai walk into the dojo, she sat across from me, I didn't look up.

"Thought I'd find you here. Should have checked here before going outside." She chuckled trying lighten the mood. "Hey listen, I know you've gone through a lot. Today you broke down, you were angry, confused, sad..." She trailed off. "I can't say I know what you're going through. But I've had my turn. Shredder, my father's worst enemy, sure you've heard of him." She smiled expecting me to, but I did not. "He took me when I was little, I didn't know for a long time that Splinter was my real father. I spent my life hating him, thinking he was the one who took my mother and made my life a wreck. In reality it was the man who I thought was my real father." She paused. "He did that, he ruined everything. But when I found out, I was shocked, I didn't believe it, I was angry when I did, and sad. I didn't know what to do." She said looking sorrowful. "But when I walked in here for the first time, it gave me a sense of happiness, like I was home. I became hopeful things would turn around after that." She chuckled. "In fact that same day I sat here alone, thinking in the moonlight, everything that had happened just washed away as a memory. It no longer made me sad, but happy that it was over and I was starting over." She reached out a hand to my shoulder and I looked up. "I just hope you'll find that same path." She smiled warmly before standing to go, once she left, I didn't know what to do again.

I wanted more sleep but my nightmare was worse, it was scarier, it was horrifying, sleep wasn't an option right now for me. I guess I should get up, can't stay here forever. I'll go help Don with Leo and Raph, they are my family right now and they matter most right now. There's nothing I can do for my family, trapped in kraang hell. It was over, like Karai said and Donnie told me this won't happen again it just feels like it, even though it's over. I'm okay and I must at least be happy I'm alive. I saw Splinter watching over me, but I acted like I didn't notice, and I don't think he knew I saw him. I walked out of the dojo and stepped into the main part of the lair, here goes another "fun night."

A/N Sorry, sorry I had Koda sad again, don't throw any tomatoes!

*Raph throws tomato*

"Hey!"

"Sorry, it slipped."

"Righhht."

Any way at least Koda and Karai shared a moment right? :) Wow it's been a while I think since I wrote at the bottom of a chapter.

Read on fellow fanfic Lovers.