| Alex Bellerose |

When I saw Hanji holding Elisa's limp body, I didn't even know what to do. It seemed the world stopped. Like my heart skipped a beat - which it most likely did. Now I'm here, lost in this stupid forest. I didn't have a destination in the first place, so getting lost wasn't a big surprise. I've been so used to keeping my emotions and feelings to myself, and I made sure no one saw them. But this time I did it.

I broke.

Fuck, I'm so stupid. No - this whole thing is stupid. Who would've thought that I, Alex Ryal Bellerose, would possess such a "unique" power. I still don't understand it myself. I mean, why did it have to be me? Why couldn't it have been someone else? I was a nobody - a poor girl who would look for food during the night to survive.

I was nothing.

But now? I'm in the newspapers. I wonder what my parents would think of this - of me. Did they know this would happen? What about this stupid ring? My father gave it to me, does that mean he had it too?

Questions, that's all I could think about lately. I didn't ask anyone about them; it's not like anyone would have the answers to any of them anyways. The sun had set awhile ago, and now I'm surrounded by darkness. I don't mind the dark, it's peaceful. Everyone is usually in bed, making the air quiet except for the soft sound of crickets and birds.

Back when I was a trainee, I would climb the roof the the girls' cabin. There was a tree that was easy to climb, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knew about it though. Whenever I couldn't sleep, I'd sneak out of the cabin and go up to the roof and stare at the stars. Elisa and I used to do that together a lot. She's come wake me up if she couldn't sleep and we'd go outside and gaze at the stars until she fell asleep.

That when things were peaceful, good, fine. Before all Hell broke loose. I miss those days.

I looked down at my family ring. It's been in the family for generations now, but yet it still looked like it was just made. This all happened because of this stupid ring. If I didn't have it, I wouldn't have seen Elisa's dead body after five years and go through the pain I went through when she died all over again. In frustration, I threw the silver and black ring to the ground and stomped on it. I expected it to be broken, or at least bent when I lifted up my foot. But it wasn't.

I furrowed my eyebrows together and stomped on it again; this time harder. When I moved my foot it still remained perfectly fine.

Stupid ring.

I reached down into my boot and pulled out the old pocketknife my father gave me for safety reasons. I'd only had to use it once, when a child molester was touching me when I was eight. I stabbed the man and ran for my life, I later found out that he had bleed to death. Because of me.

I never regretted that day - it was either me or him.

The knife had tiny roses carved on the edge of the blade. I'd never notice them before; nor have I ever thought to look. I don't know what's with my family and roses. I understand that our last name is Bellerose, but it seems like every item has a rose on it. The ring, the knife, hell - I still keep the rose Elisa gave me.

I threw the knife angrily at the tree in front of me. The blade penetrated the wood pretty deep. I walked over to the tree and pulled the knife out of the rough bark. I didn't even realize that I was holding by the blade - nor did I care. I dropped to my knees.

I was weak.

I am weak.

I'd let my peers see my weak side. See that I actually have a weak side. That was never supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen.

But it did.

They just had to capture the Titan that ate Elisa.

They just had to pick that one Titan to remove the dead citizens and soldiers out of.

And I just had to be there.

I would have been better off not being there to see them pull out my dead sister. It's all the Levi guy's fault. He was arrogant and annoying. I disliked him at first because people always compared me to him. Then I actually met him and he was nothing but a stuck up brat who bossed everyone around because he was superior compared to them.

I'll admit - I can be arrogant and rude. But at least I don't purposely make people upset or angry (unless they deserved it). I don't even think he has emotions. He might as well be a robot.

To be honest; it wouldn't be surprising if he actually was.

I didn't notice I was crying up until now, and I didn't care. It felt nice. It felt good. All those tears I've kept back over the years flowed out of my eyes like a waterfall. Blood dripped down from my cut hand.

I didn't care.

I didn't mind.

I was alone, and that's all that matter.