The next chapter is the last one.

Dysfunctional

Chapter 20: Returning from the Road Trip

Stan had immensely cheered up since Kyle's fight, especially when Kyle got a death glare from Sean after getting out of the tent hand-in-hand with Stan.

Kyle had responded maturely by sticking his tongue out.

So after spending two weeks pissing people off and finding more places to get drunk they were on their way home, Stan was driving because Kyle was nursing a hangover, hence the paper bags stuffed in the glove box.

Kenny also had a hangover but Cartman and Butters didn't, Cartman was having fun kicking the back of Kyle's chair.

"Stop it Cartman!" Kyle shouted and then winced, holding a hand to his head.

"How's your head?" Stan asked with concern.

"Feels like it's getting repeatedly hit with a club."

Stan chuckled, "I'll get you some coffee at the next service station."

"I hate coffee."

"It's good for hangovers."

Kyle was about to respond but his chair was getting kicked again, "Cartman, stop kicking my chair, it's making me nauseous!"

Cartman gave it three more kicks, but that was enough to force Kyle into scrambling for a bag from the glove box. Luckily, he was able to get all of his sick into the bag and he closed the top to prevent as much of the odour from being released into the car and getting Kenny to throw up as well.

"I think I need to brush my teeth as well," Kyle panted, exhausted from his violent retching.

"I'd drink the coffee first though," Butters said, "Because otherwise the coffee goes all minty and disgusting."

"That's a very fair point," Stan agreed.

"But if I don't brush my teeth," Kyle countered, "I can't kiss Stan."

"Also a very good point," Stan nodded.

Kyle yawned, "Wake me up when we get there."

"Okay dude," Stan smiled at him.

Kyle was asleep in minutes, his head lolling to the side.

"Hey Stan," Kenny asked, "When you call each other dude is it like calling a girlfriend babe?"

Stan thought for a second, "I guess, but we've called each other that since we met. Maybe our meaning for it changed."

"You say it like you're calling each other babe," Butters said.

"Then yes it is."

"Well that was cleared up with needing to be," Cartman snickered.

"I was just curious," Kenny shrugged.

"No problem with that," Stan said.

"Kyle," Stan gently shook his boyfriend, "We're here."

Kyle groaned and attempted to curl as much as he could in the seat.

"C'mon Ky," Stan smiled, "You need to brush your teeth remember? I got your toothbrush."

Kyle groaned again and uncurled, "Fine."

"I'll get you the coffee."

"Can you get me a bottle of water and some Advil?"

"Yeah, of course," Stan kissed his forehead, "You look pale."

"I have a hangover and I threw up before."

Stan chuckled and left to go and get Kyle the coffee, water and Advil.

Kyle had brushed his teeth without any problems (not that there would be) and left the bathroom to look for Stan, he went to check Starbucks and then to Harbucks, he saw Stan standing in line with a plastic bag in his hand. Kyle walked over to him and hugged his boyfriend.

"You got the Advil?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah," Stan nodded, "You want some now?"

Kyle was already reaching into the plastic bag to grab a bottle of Wottur and the Advil, popping two pills and downing half the bottle.

Stan ordered a black coffee for Kyle and he took a gulp, despite the minty influence from the toothpaste and his dislike for the liquid. After leaving the shop, Stan went to Dunkin' Donuts to get some donuts (no surprise there) for the group, Cartman had requested donuts but he was going with Kenny and Butters to the KFC.

They found them in the seating area with a large bucket of chicken. Stan and Kyle squeezed into the booth next to Butters.

"You get the donuts?" Cartman asked.

"What's right in front of you fatass?" Kyle raised an eyebrow.

"Christ Kyle, get the sand out of your vagina."

"Get the cabbage out of your muff."

Cartman shivered at the reminder of events that happened last time Kyle said that.

"You actually made me puke," Kyle frowned.

"He has a point," Stan agreed.

Kyle turned to Kenny, "You want an Advil?"

Kenny shook his head, "My head isn't that bad."

Kyle nodded and leaned into Stan as he took some chicken from the bucket.

They were driving again soon after finishing their food. Kyle hadn't finished his coffee and it now made its residence in the cup holder.

"You guys going to that school dance next week?" Kenny asked after a while.

"There's a school dance in the middle of August?" Cartman asked incredulously.

"It's South Park," Kyle reasoned, "What did you expect?"

"The dance to be during school time."

"Kyle and I are going," Stan said, "Why not?"

"I'm going because Stan's hot in a suit," Kyle shrugged.

"I guess I could go," Butters decided, "Do we have to have dates?"

"No," Stan shook his head, "Obviously I'm going with Kyle, but you don't have to have a date."

"I can probably set you up," Kenny smirked, "I'm going with Heidi, she might know someone who needs a date."

"I'm probably not going," Cartman sighed.

Everyone (except Stan, who was driving) turned to look at him like he was a retard.

"Why not?" Butters asked.

"I'm not going to get a date," Cartman frowned, "I'm one of the most hated guys in school so why bother?"

"Why not?" Kyle countered, "Not everyone's going to have a date."

"Yeah, but all you guys will."

"So? Stan and I will hang with you."

"Remember what happened last time?"

That forced Kyle to stop in his tracks, he and Stan had gone to the bathrooms and fucked in one of the stalls before going home to continue their romp whilst forgetting to tell the others.

"We won't do that this time?" Kyle tried but Cartman just shook his head.

"Look, I get it," Cartman shrugged, "You two want to spend some time together on a date and the dance is the perfect time to do that. I don't want to be a third wheel."

Kyle was about to respond, but Stan just laid a hand on his knee.

"He doesn't want to go," Stan wore a smile that said he wasn't happy with this revelation, "So leave it."

Kyle frowned but sipped his coffee instead.

"I could go with you," Butters smiled brightly, "We can go as friends or I could wear my Marjorine stuff."

"I'll think about it," Cartman said after thinking for a while.