[Kasuka's POV]

The actor sat at the table of his home, hands folded in his lap and eyes cast down as he waited in silence for something to be said.

Across from him sat his blond sibling, arms crossed and eyes burning a hole straight through his head as the debt collector looked for something to say.

Kasuka didn't need to be told he was in trouble, that look given to him when he opened his door and found Shizuo on his couch said it all. The blonde was pissed and trying to go through whatever technique had been helping him lately to calm down before he lost his temper in the middle of a seemingly important conversation.

The younger brother couldn't even think of what could have made the other so mad until he realized that in the last month since the party he'd taken Izaya to, him and the informant had been back and forth at each other's homes whenever Izaya wasn't too busy with catch-up assignments. And with how Shizuo's nose worked, he could probably smell whatever it was he smelled on the man from their last time hanging out 4 days ago.

There was another few moments of silence as even the air stood still waiting for his sibling to speak. "Kasuka." There it was... "I want an explanation."

Okay, I have a couple options. First, play dumb and keep the trust in him you've had since kindergarten that he won't kill you. Might work..

Second, tell him everything that has happened since you got the job and feel his wrath for it quickly to get it over with, then deal with Izaya when he finds out that Shizuo found out. Not very comforting...

Third, tell him what you can and hope for the best... Yeah, sure, why not..

"Shizuo, I know you don't like this already but I can't tell you what's going on. I'm sorry." Kasuka forced out, always having issues lying or deceiving his brother. It was like all of his acting skills suddenly left him when talking to the blond and he had no idea how or why, but it strangely urked him. He didn't like manipulating people, especially not his brother, but he seriously couldn't even do it once if he tried? Frustrating...

"What the fuck do you mean you can't tell me? I'm your brother! And if that flea is anywhere near you, I want to fucking know why!" Shizuo shouted, his voice quickly loosing the restraints he put on it but his muscles not even twitching. That was a good sign of improvement. When Kasuka didn't respond, the blond gritted his teeth. "Kasuka, I've warned you about him, haven't I? I thought I made it perfectly fucking clear that anything that bug touches, dies! Slowly and painfully, it dies! Do you not understand that!?"

"You haven't died.." the ravenett muttered, not realizing he had said it until he looked up to see Shizuo's stunned face. Sure, it wasn't normal for the younger Heiwajima to stand up about anything, let alone stand up to brother about something. It was almost unheard of. He used to just nod and let the other know he understood before doing what he said. For this chain of events to be happening, Shizuo's brain must be pounding away in his skull to make up for his immobile fists.

Shizuo gaped for a second before closing his mouth again to gather his thoughts, watching his sibling's steel gaze as the younger felt more courage. "If he's so deadly then how come you haven't died, or me, or his sisters or his boss? You keep calling him a flea and a bug, but he's a person - just like he keeps calling you a monster, but you're just a person. Just because you hate him doesn't make him anymore dangerous than he would be without you around, that's not how people work." Kasuka explained, slowly seeing more disbelief and shock fill his brother's expression, making him debate for a moment to stop.

But he meant what he said and, in his mind, this chance would never happen again. He never spoke his mind for no reason, or at least he didn't talk to people for no reason, so unless Shizuo conveniently walked into his home while Izaya was present this whole conversation would never get the chance to take place again. He saw Shizuo open his mouth to say something and couldn't stop himself, cutting off the blond. He barely noticed that as he spoke the words came out faster and a little louder with each sentence.

"I get that you hate him and he kinda hates you, but you two don't have to isolate the other. He lets you keep your friends, you don't go seeking out anyone he could possibly hold dear either. You don't even seem to think of him as a threat to the other people near him then, so why would he be anymore a threat to me? When I treat him like the human he is, like all those other people around him would!? I don't hate him and he doesn't hate me, and if you could see what he's actually like when he's not running around trying to be something or defending himself from gangs and shit, then you would probably love him too!"

Kasuka finished what was on his mind before snapping his mouth shut and staring down at his hands again, hoping Shizuo hadn't caught the last sentence. Sure, the blond didn't care that he was gay and, if he had picked his words right, then he could eventually stop caring that Izaya came over to hang out every once in a while. But hanging out with the man's worst enemy and showing actual, deep to his heart affection for him were two entirely different things.

The actor didn't want to glance up. He wouldn't be able to handle the look of disbelief, shock, disappointment, anger; anything his brother's eyes held, he didn't want to see it. It would break him. It would make him feel guilty and awful and want to take his words back when he'd never been so honest about how he felt before. And he didn't want to regret what he'd just said ever in his entire life.

It had begun with a crush; a long, 5-year-long crush and it had formed after 2 months of getting closer and closer and getting to be with the real Izaya into something he could only identify as love. He obviously hadn't felt it before, hell this could be just another level of crush that he didn't know about, and if told that that was the truth then he would accept it in a second. But if anything he'd heard from movies or songs or books or poems or anything that had tried to put that one feeling into a form of words was correct, then he wouldn't deny that he loved the man either.

He would never regret all the time he'd spent with Izaya and his persona, never.. But he could regret ever telling his brother about it. He could and did regret it the moment he heard Shizuo's chair slide away from him, followed by footsteps, heavy and slow, going towards his front door before the actor heard it open and shut, leaving him completely and utterly alone in his home once again.

Kasuka loved Izaya, he really did - but he also loved his family, and he wasn't quite sure which one he was ready to lose over the other just yet.

Chapter 20...

I didn't expect for such a happy chapter to lead into a semi-depressing one, but here it is.

I actually expected to have this up yesterday, since school ended for me yesterday, but then I had to stay at my grandma's house- who BTW has no functioning computer.

It turns on and can go on the internet, yeah - but the keyboard doesn't correspond correctly to the screen and it takes 20 minutes for one page to load and function like it should. 15 minutes if I just want to LOOK at it.

So, yeah.. I got this up for you guys as fast as I could and hope you enjoy it!

I hope you liked this chapter! Favorite, follow and review for more!

Seriously, review, it gives me life...