big things happen this chapter. just be patient and nice. be understanding. please. and i forgot grammy's quote in the last chapter! how foolish of me! nothing to worry about, i just updated it with a quote :)

response to reviews

Faberry45: did you not read the previous chapters? Russell is sick and Quinn is making him get on the UNOS list but he won't but then he does it because he cares about Quinn and that's like his gift to her, in a nutshell.

Guest1: honestly, i already stated that i am not good at writing smut so...

cyrstals: then we are technically not married

now, read, ponder and enjoy.

"If you're lost, you can look and you will find me time after time. If you fall, I'll catch you. I'll be waiting time after time."

The soft hymns of the Cyndi Lauper classic floated into Quinn's ears, tickling her eardrums and waking her gently. Cold was one of the factors of her waking up; the fragile chill of daybreak. Instinctively, she snuggled into the warm body she was swathed in, feeling Rachel's strong arms gather her close. As she moved, she felt the raw tenderness between her thighs and the sticky wetness there. She opened her eyes.

Rachel's face was millimeters away from her own. Too close to focus on, blurry, smooth and bronzed. She could see that Rachel's eyes were open though and she vaguely realized that the woman was the source of the singing just seconds ago. Their noses bumped. Quinn could feel herself beginning to smile. She drew back a few inches so she could get Rachel's face into focus. Rachel was smiling in that tender way of hers.

And she was dressed. Quinn looked down to find herself still stark naked, but with a thin blanket draped over her. She looked back up with a smirk that Rachel returned unashamedly.

"I see you know how to appreciate a view," Quinn croaked, drowsiness still laced in her voice.

Rachel drew Quinn back into the confines of her arms, pulling her head under her chin. "Only with the things I find breathtaking," she said. Quinn hummed; eyelids drooping close as she let herself drift. "You can't go to sleep." Rachel sounded regretful. "I need to bring you home."

Without giving it much thought, Quinn said, "This is home." Her heart spasmed in her chest and she opened herself. She didn't pull away; she just let herself contemplate her words as she laid here. And then she smiled. "This is home," she confirmed.

Rachel placed a lingering kiss on the top of her head. Quinn could hear the 'I love you' in that one kiss. "Well, let's go back to our other homes," she whispered.

She had Rachel drop her off at Santana's front door. It was half past six so it was basically too early for them all to be awake.

"They know I'm at Santana's for the after-party, so it's natural for me to be home later than now," Quinn explained. "Don't want them to be suspicious of anything."

Rachel smirked and scoffed. "You are quite the planner, aren't you?"

Quinn winked with a cheeky grin. "I'm not your typical bottle blonde," she bragged.

And then she was pushed back against the door with Rachel over her, one hand on her hip and the other on her arm. Rachel was smirking, face just inches away from hers. "That's what I love about you," she whispered, husky and low.

"Just that?" Quinn teased with a smirk of her own.

Rachel hummed, feigning contemplation as her pupils rose. And then she met Quinn's eyes again with a shrug. "Pretty much."

Quinn bit her lip momentarily as she reached up to pull Rachel's mouth to hers. They claimed each other in an instant ferocious kiss. With one quick thrust, Rachel's tongue broke through the seams of her lips to travel beyond.

Quinn moaned deep in her throat. She hung on and gave it all back. Ravenous for Rachel's touch, she got drunk Rachel's cinnamon scent and taste, reveled in the soft length of Rachel's body as animal heat rose between them and pushed them over the edge.

She expected to be the one in control. She expected the woman she was kissing to be surprised and unknown of what to do. Instead, she got an immediate retaliation that was hasty and heated and completely far out of every bit of Quinn's expectations. She got warm lips melded over hers. Rachel's teeth nipped. Rachel's tongue burrowed and plunged with revised command, pressing Quinn against her to take every last drop of her resolve.

Rachel slipped her hand into the weight of Quinn's hair to hold her head still as she continued her passionate invasion. Quinn's breasts grew heavy and full, and liquid heat pulsed through her thighs at a rapid pace.

A loud knock against the glass of the window made them jump. Rachel ripped her mouth from Quinn's. Dazed, Quinn couldn't look away from those luscious lips that were pressed against hers just a millisecond ago. Rachel looked mutually dazed and unfocused. Quinn breathed hard and gathered her nervous state as she gulped and slowly turned, ready to attack whoever it was that interrupted them.

She staggered into an upright sitting position when she saw who it was standing outside, looking absolutely outraged and dubious.

"Oh god," she whispered, quiet but loud enough for Rachel who recognized the person who'd caught them. "I-I need to-" She looked away and to Rachel. "I'll handle him. You need to go."

"What? No!" Rachel protested. "I'm not leaving you alone to deal with this!"

"Rachel, you need to go! I'll call you!" she insisted.

"No!"

Quinn groaned. She jumped again when a louder and more ferocious knock clattered against the window. She threw Rachel an exasperated look before climbing out of the car and slamming the door closed.

"I can explain-"

"How do you explain something like this?" Russell gritted between clenched jaws, forefinger thrust in the direction of the car. His nostrils were flaring and the vein in his forehead was throbbing.

"Dad-"

"Mr. Fabray, please hear us out," Rachel pleaded as she climbed out of the car as well.

Quinn winced when his head whipped around so fast that it was a wonder how his neck didn't snap. "Explain?" Russell reiterated in a toxic tone. "You were contaminating my daughter, was the explanation!"

"Dad, it's not like that."

"Do not speak right now!" He glared back at her, his voice rising with each syllable. Quinn noticed his chest heaving more than usual and she swallowed.

"Dad, can we please not do this here?" she whispered, afraid for him and for herself. "Please."

Russell jerked, as if he wanted to lunge. Quinn winced while Rachel gasped audibly. He regained his footing as he directed his glare between them both. "You two are coming with me," he seethed in a low, dangerous voice. They quickly nodded in agreement. "You're gonna drive your own cars and we're gonna meet at the house." They nodded again. He glowered at his daughter, his mouth pursed tightly. And then he pivoted on his heel and stalked towards his car.

Quinn stood in place for a second before she was jerked back to reality. She passed an apologetic look to Rachel before heading to her own vehicle and quickly following her father's car along the roads. She briefly glanced in the rearview mirror to see Rachel behind her.

The entire drive there, Quinn kept her fingers wrapped around the steering wheel tightly. Usually, she drove one-handedly but now, she had to keep her hands on the wheel to keep them from shaking tremendously. Her entire being was vibrating with nervous energy. She was wracking her brain for the right choice of words when they faced him later. She was hoping that she'd been more careful. She scolded herself for not noticing his car when they reached Santana's house just now.

Russell slammed his car door so hard that it literally shook. And then he passed a freezing look that she shuddered in her spot before she heard a car door slammed shut behind her. Rachel was standing there, hesitant. Quinn sighed and took a deep breath before jerking her head towards the house before making her way up the driveway.

He was, predictably, seething in his study. She could almost see him vibrate. His study was his castle. There was a certain aura in his study that was both intimidating and fearsome, which intensified with him sitting there like that.

Rachel closed the door before moving to stand beside Quinn in front of him. He almost blanched at the sight of them next to each other. She watched as his nostrils flared and his maddening eyes traveled between them. His mouth was shut tight and he was taking angry deep breaths. Momentarily, Quinn worried for his heart.

"Mr. Fabray, it's not Quinn's fault." Both of them turned to look at the brunette, one in anger and one in surprise. "This is entirely on me." Quinn's mouth opened but not a single noise emerged. She was far too shocked. Rachel didn't look at her for even a moment, stubbornly staring back at Russell. "If you wanna blame someone, just blame it on me."

"You're damn right I blame you," he hissed, making a sound for the first time in the past twenty minutes. "I'm inclined to believe you, Miss Berry, but it takes two to tango."

For a brief second, Quinn almost wanted to laugh because did her father just make a pun? But then she realized the severity of the situation and she kept mum about it.

"How long has this been happening?" he questioned.

"Less than two months," Quinn replied, as if that would help.

He pinned her with his gaze. She could feel her hairs erecting on her skin under his piercing eyes. "So basically, more than one month," he deduced.

She closed her mouth, refraining from gulping. She could see Rachel nodding from her peripheral vision.

Quinn paid attention to her father as he closed his eyes, leaned his head down to support his forehead with his fist, his elbow rested on the arm of his chair. He was barely keeping his cool and she couldn't really blame him. He didn't expect this all when he hired Rachel in the first place.

After around five minutes that felt like years, he lifted his head and looked at Rachel. "I can have you arrested," he said, his voice calm and quiet.

Quinn turned to Rachel, slightly panicked. But the brunette only nodded. "I know, sir." Rachel was standing straight, her hands behind her back, her face a perfect image of calm. She appeared collected. But Quinn knew her better. She noticed the way Rachel's hands were clasped so tight that they were white. She noticed the way her ears burned red. She noticed the sweat gathering on Rachel's scalp. Rachel was anxious.

"You can't arrest her actually," Quinn blurted before she could stop herself. Russell looked at her, his eyes a whole new mix of storm brewing. "I'm eighteen, Dad, which means legal."

"That doesn't mean she didn't do things before you were eighteen," he snapped.

"You can't prove it," she answered just as quickly. Russell closed his mouth, glaring at her again. "Dad, it doesn't matter what you tell the cops, but I will deny and deny and deny every single thing you accuse her of."

"How dare you-"

"Dad," she interrupted as firmly but also as softly as she could manage. She took a brave step forward and looked her father in the eyes. "Please."

"She's twelve years older than you!" he almost squeaked when he spoke the number.

"I love her," she whispered, sounding raw and genuine. "Dad, I love Rachel." Her lower lip began to tremble as her eyes watered when she saw the dawning in his eyes.

"You don't know anything about love," he said. Of course, even when he realized this thing between her and Rachel, he was still stubborn as fuck. "You're far too young to know anything about love."

"It's not like you know a lot about it either," she said. Then she closed her eyes, instantly regretting what she just said. When she opened them, Russell was staring at her in confusion and a little disbelief. She knew she had to keep going. "You haven't shown any emotions that remotely resemble fatherly love ever since I've started playing and you realized the potential in me. You were harsh and strict and cold. You took the joy out of playing. You forced me to be a child prodigy when I just wanted to be a child. You even had the galls to lie to me about grandmother until it was too late!"

"I didn't lie to you!"

"Omission is a form of lie!" she retaliated, her voice shaking with frustration. "You knew how close to Grammy I was. You knew how much I loved her! And you didn't even bother telling me that she was on her deathbed because you wanted to me to win in a stupid competition! I didn't get to say goodbye to her because of you!" She thrust a finger in his face. His face was stone cold and emotionless. She should have figured. "And then when I have had enough and decided to do something for myself for once, you called me a self-entitled brat."

"Oh, for the love of-"

"For almost my entire life, you haven't been a dad to me at all. You were just a father who put the clothes on my back and the food in my plate and the roof over my head. Nothing else. Whenever we spent time together, you always find a way to make jabs at me for giving up and being a loser." She was out of breath at the end. She closed her eyes when she felt a gentle hand on her back. She didn't have to look to know it was Rachel. "You know, Dad, there are times – more times than I can count – where I literally wish that you and Mom didn't give birth to me; that I wasn't born. There are times when I'm angry at you and Mom for deciding to have me at all. Because when I was born, it turns out I'm just a display – an object – for you to flaunt. But when I wasn't of use anymore, you just decided to not care."

When she opened her eyes, she was taken aback to see that her father's face had entirely crumpled. No longer was he carrying that poker face, instead, he looked distraught and angst-ridden. He was staring at her with such pity that she couldn't take it.

Quinn slammed her hands on the table, letting herself blow up. "Why, Dad? Why did you have me? Why are you doing this to me? What on god's green earth do you fucking want?" she yelled. He started and glanced away. He looked insecure and unsure. She scoffed, a sardonic smirk on her face. She then stood upright and held onto Rachel's hand, showing him. "This is not going to be over anytime soon. I love Rachel and I hope you'll accept it eventually. But if you don't, I can't do anything about it. Goodbye, Dad."

She spun on her feet, tugging Rachel along behind her. She halted when she saw her family gathered at the door. Her mother and Grandpa Fred were equally horrified. Frannie was sad and she obviously didn't want Quinn to leave. Mercedes looked resigned.

Quinn sighed, offered a curt nod, and then shouldered past them with Rachel behind her.

"Quinn, wait!" Rachel called to her once they were outside. "Quinn, you can't just leave like this!" She pivoted and strode towards Rachel, grabbed her face and pressed a hard kiss to her lips. "Quinn," the brunette pleaded when they pulled apart.

Quinn shook her head, refusing to look at Rachel. And then she planted a kiss to Rachel's cheek before disentangling their fingers and climbing into her car. Without a second glance, she drove off to nowhere.

When she turned on her phone, she wasn't surprised that it beeped relentlessly, flooded with texts and voice messages. She released a tired sigh and pocketed it, not even bothering to check them out, as she climbed out of the car. She started walking down the sidewalk, aimless and clueless.

Her brain was throbbing, overflowing with different emotions and thoughts. One part of her was proud of herself for finally standing up to her father and calling him out on everything he'd done to her for the past decade. Another part was in disbelief that she even had the guts to do it. One part of her wanted to call Rachel and just ask her to come be with her. Another part of her wanted to be alone and quiet without anyone dogging her about anything.

Half an hour later, she was sitting in a rundown McDonald's with a tray of McDonald's lunch set in front of her. Her phone beeped in her back pocket again. She looked up to the ceiling for a moment before she finally dug it out and unlocked it. She decided to check the texts first.

Quinn, where are you? – R

Q, your girl came banging on my door at EIGHT in the morning asking if I know where you are. What the fuck is going on? – S

Lord Tubbington's looking for you. You know how good a cat detective he is – B

Frannie just told me what happened. You need to come back right now, Quinn. – S

Don't ask how I got your number. Rachel is worried sick about you. So am I. Just call me. – Skye Avery

By the way, this is my house address. My door's always open. [Address] – Skye

Quinn, we're all worried about you. Dad's locked himself in his study and Mom is literally crying. Can you please come back so we can talk about this? – F

Fabray, I swear to god if you don't show up in two minutes I'll whip out my secret family magic thing and look for you – S

Okay, that's not actually a thing but come on, you're killing us here – S

I love you very much. I just want you to know that. I'll always be here. – R

I even went to McKinley to look for you and it's an off day! Where in god's name are you? – F

That was the latest one. Quinn closed the text box and began to dial her voicemail. She rested her forehead in her palm as she waited for the first one.

"Quinnie, please come back. We can talk about this." Mom.

"Quinn Fabray, where the fuck are you?" Santana.

"I went to the trail and you aren't there. Where are you?" Rachel.

"You're not at Lima Bean either. Quinn, this isn't funny at all. Please just call me." Rachel.

"Quinn, you can't just run off like that and let us sit here worry about you. Come home." Frannie.

"Fabray! Stop this! Jesus Christ, your girl is literally crying right now! I can't handle her wailing like a baby! Come back!" Santana.

"Quinn, baby, please. I'm literally breaking down right in front of Lima Bean right now. I don't know where you are and I don't know what to do and I can't find you anywhere. Santana and Frannie are both blowing up my phone but I don't know what to do. Can you please, please just tell one of us if you're okay? Please. I love you." Rachel.

Listening to Rachel's heart wrenching sobs gutted her. She removed the phone from her ear and wiped at her watery eyes with her jacket sleeve. She then stared down at the device in her hand, still uncertain if she should reach out.

She was well aware that she was being selfish and they honestly didn't deserve this, not even her father – even though he didn't even make an attempt to find out where she was. She pinched her nose, feeling the snot building up behind it. She inhaled harshly before typing out a generic message and sent it to everyone at once.

I'm safe. I'm fine. I won't be home for now. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone. But don't worry about me. – Q

And then she braced herself for another onslaught of texts. As expected, not even three minutes later, another barrage of texts swamped her phone.

What the fuck do you mean you're not sure how long you'll be gone? What the fuck, Q? – S

You've gotta be kidding. Quinn, this is selfish! Are you pulling another Caroline Forbes thingy? Jesus fucking Christ, man. – F

Quinn, we're your best friends. - B

Quinn, I didn't raise you to be so irresponsible. Come back home right now. – Mom

Does that mean you're skipping school? You can't skip school! It'll be on your record. And Quinn, Jemma and I are really worried about you as well. And stop doing this to Rachel. – Skye

Quinn, Santana juz clled me n sed like a bunch of Spanish curses in my ears. Wats goin on? – Finn

It almost hurt her eyes to read Finn's awful text speak. She didn't bother replying to any of them. Her phone buzzed with an incoming call just then. She stared at the caller ID for the next few seconds, letting it ring out. And then it rang again. She let it ring out again. The whole thing repeated two or three times before Rachel gave up.

Quinn sighed, tossing her phone on the table and buried her face in her hands. She inhaled and exhaled, each breath trembling more than ever. The clog in her throat was rising and she didn't bother stopping it. She was crying in fucking public.

In less than twelve hours, her life had transpired from blissful perfection to disastrous trainwreck. Everything had gone to shit because she was careless and too smothered in her own fantasy land. She had thought that things would go smoothly because it had been going smoothly for quite awhile now.

And then bam, her father exploded, followed herself exploding.

Come to think of it, it was probably to be expected. She'd been keeping everything bottled up for far too long. Her father had been abusing her mentally for far too long. The fire was bound to reach the end of the wire and the bomb was bound to be triggered. Why she expected anything less was a wonder.

She groaned, low and strong into the skin of her palms. It stretched out into thirty-seconds long. It was a toned down version of a scream. She took a deep breath and then groaned again, lowering her head towards the table. She felt as if her entire body was strung up incredibly firmly that she had no space to think, or even to breathe. She was trapped in her own body.

She had gotten a few stares but she couldn't care less. She was a trainwreck anyway, what was a couple of irrelevant stares from irrelevant strangers?

She decided she deserved this, no matter how selfish it made her. Then she started eating.

Quinn checked into a three-star hotel with her credit card, changed into some clothes she bought from some store and went out after dinnertime. It was ten in the evening and the streets were starting to quiet down. Some shops that had opened until late night were starting to close down as well.

She walked down the streets, turning and twisting with a certain destination in mind. She stopped in front of the closed park. She stared at the Keep Out sign for far too long, and the temptation to break the law slithered into her chest quietly.

A gust of air escaped her lungs cavity in a whoosh. She pulled her hands out of her jacket pocket and wrung them in the air a few times. And then she put them on the fence. She was careful not to get anywhere near the spiky things as she hoisted herself up, and over the fence. She made a noise of triumph when she landed with a thump.

She brushed her hands, shoved her hands into her pockets and made her way through the bushes, skipping over squirrels and nearly freaking out at a twig she crunched with her foot. She laughed shortly when she reached the clearing. She remained there for awhile, taking in the lake, the blue of it, the lights of streetlamps reflected upon it.

There was no moon today. There were no crickets. The silence was almost suffocating and she almost bailed. It was as if the universe wanted to match her in her sullenness.

Slow steps eventually led her to the shore of the leg. She lowered her legs beneath her and sat crisscross-applesauce, right at the edge of the lake. One small nudge and she would fall in. Of course, it wasn't nearly as thrilling as sitting on the cliff. It wasn't even close. But she just wanted to sit on the edge of something and risk it.

She fixed her gaze on the still water.

Motion is impossible, she once learned in a philosophy class. Zeno's paradox, the teacher had said.

Quinn never did understand that theory. Motion was completely possible. She had argued that. She would fling her arms in the air as a proof that motion was totally possible. But now as she stared at the water, she guessed she understood why Zeno would come up with that paradox.

Motion was impossible by the way of how people never seemed to change. Motion was impossible by the way of how the society remained as poisonous and toxic as it was before. Motion was impossible in the form of perpetual motion. Motion was impossible in how she was here and they were there and everybody was where they were supposed to be.

But motion was possible too. Rachel had inflicted a zillion motions within her as she ignited the fiery emotions in her when they made love last night. Rachel had light a fire and set alight the nerves and cells in her.

Quinn would never have thought it'd be possible to be so close to another human being as she had last night. It was like the act of simple lovemaking had not only merged their bodies, but also their souls; like the unity forged in the darkness and beneath stars light-years away meant they would always be a part of each other.

Her mind drifted back to those timeless hours, remembering Rachel's touch: the way her hands taken possession of Quinn, knowing better than she ever could what would bring her the most exquisite pleasure. The feeling of Rachel's lips on hers, her tongue questioning, bringing the girl to the brink of an ecstasy beyond imaginations.

Like a small boat in a safe harbor, anchored by her arms, Quinn smiled gently at the thought.

The sense of tranquility and pacification began to make nest in her being. She pushed back, lying on the grass and letting the leaves tickle her skin. Yes, she needed this.

"It is irresponsible to just run away, Quinn, but sometimes, you just have to. I will not blame you if you need to do it: run away, that is. If you need to run away and be alone and quiet, you can. Just as long as you understand that you need to come back."

*gasps* how irresponsible of you, Quinn. how irresponsible!

oh, in case you haven't got the hint, she's in Cleveland.