Shock in store! Please don't read if you are sensitive to torture, rape and prostitution which I guess you're not if you read this far. Aaron has confided to Rob his deepest, darkest secret but will Rob do the same? By the way, if you like this story and could leave a review, it would make the author extremely happy! x

Chapter 20: Revelations

'It's your 21st tomorrow, son but everyone's forgotten, even your Mum. But I haven't.' Gordon tenderly tucked in a stray strand behind Aaron's ear while his son cringed away.
'Do you really start celebrating your big day by going to visit your uncle in prison?'
Aaron remained silent and closed his eyes and tried to control his rapid breathing when he felt his father wrap an arm underneath him to hold him in place as he continued to taunt him.

'Cain's a criminal with a record as long as my arm. Imagine how long he'll get for attempted murder? And it will all be your fault.'
'No-one'll believe you.' Aaron rasped beneath him.
Gordon reached under his son's shirt who shrank away when he felt his father's cool hand – just as cold as he remembered - scuttling over his skin, reaching lower and lower to approach the waistband of his trousers...'
'No!' Aaron yelled and bucked in panic, trying to throw him off but was slammed down again.
'Uh...uh...you naughty boy. Stop fighting me.' Fortunately, Gordon's hand was back in his hair and Aaron still couldn't hold back a noise of disgust.

'You know how to save your precious uncle don't you, Aaron?' He patronised him.
'Fuck you! I'll never do what you want!' Aaron struggled again until Gordon grabbed one of his arms and twisted up his back, making him cry out in pain.
'Yes, you know how to make Daddy happy...You always did...'Gordon crooned sleazily and released his arm, only to start unbuckling his victim's belt. 'You let me do this and take back your statement – say you were confused, didn't know what you were saying and I'll forget all about it and everything can go back to the way it was before. I'll marry your mum and …'

'NO!' Aaron screamed again in disbelief. Did his sick father really think he could come back into his life and start where he left off? Taking a deep breath, he gathered all the strength he had for one final burst to rid himself of the man when his underwear and trousers pooled on the floor and finally managed to throw him off. Meanwhile, his father staggered against the wall and mercifully stayed there.

'Stay away from me!' Aaron didn't lose any time and grabbed the bolt-cutter again and held in front of him.
His attacker shrugged his shoulders. 'Fine.' He said.
'I MEAN it! You ever come near me again, Dad and I'll kill you.' Aaron glared him suspicously and when he was sure that he wasn't going to try anything, he turned his back for a split second to pull up his trousers and do up his flies, feeling not a little unashamed.
Gordon eyed him with incredulity. 'What? You don't care about your beloved uncle, that it?'
'He's not my beloved uncle. Don't like him much. So do your worst.'
Gordon blanched and advanced, despite his words to get in his son's face again, recklessly disregarding the makeshift weapon he was holding in his hand.
'Go on.' He sneered at the fear he saw on the young man's face. 'Do it. Dare you – show me you got balls.'
Aaron kept the bolt-cutter raised threateningly but otherwise didn't move.
'No? You're soft, boy, soft! You're all bark and no bite.'
'Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, dad? Blackmail doesn't work so you want me to hit you, so you can go crying to the cops, that it? Well, let me tell you something. I'm not going to make any of this easy for you.' He retorted, his voice hard. 'None of it.'
Gordon glared and made a grab for him again in his fury but Aaron easily shoved him away.

'I admit you caught me off-guard before but I'll be prepared from now on.' Aaron raised his chin and straightened his back with quiet dignity.
'Little boy...' He started but Aaron furiously interrupted him.
'I'm not your little boy! Not any more! Get that through your sick head...'
'I'll tell them about Cain!' Gordon resorted to the only card he had left to play.
'Do it. Don't give a shit. Now get out of my office!'

'You haven't heard the last of this, son.' Gordon shook his fist at him while Aaron smirked . 'You mark my words.'
Aaron sneered at him then with loathing. 'I'll tell them you came here and threatened and blackmailed me if you grass on Cain. They've already seen the video so they won't be surprised.'
'But they're not going to let you use it.' Was Gordon's final parting shot before he left.

Aaron, for his part, slumped down the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees as soon as he knew he was alone because he knew, deep-down that his father was right.
He remained in the same position until he could stop shaking so badly.
Just then he got another visitor but a more welcome one this time.
'Aaron?' Rob poked his head around the door. 'Tried to call you to tell you I've finished but you weren't answering. Hey – what's wrong?'
Aaron looked up at him and shook his head.
'Sh...Come here, baby.' He pulled him into his embrace on the floor. 'Did something happen? With Gordon?'
Aaron took in a few deep, shuddering breaths before he finally let the tears fall. 'They're not going to let me use the video.' He answered dully.
'What?' Rob was shocked. 'How do you know?'
'Gordon came round just now and told me. He...he tried to...'
Rob stiffened, immediately on alert, Aaron could feel his body's tense reaction.
'He was here? Did he touch you? Are you OK?'
Aaron nodded but it didn't escape the other man how his eyes slid to the side.
'He told me that they didn't even ask him about it down at the police-station when they asked him about my statement. They never watched it with me there when I made mine! Probably never even looked at it themselves...'

'Calm down, he's lying. Just wants to make you scared so you withdraw from the process.'
'Maybe but then why did they let him go? Surely even he can't argue with the video?' Aaron looked up at him pleadingly, begging him for answers. But Rob didn't have any – or at least not any that he wanted to hear.
'I don't know.' Rob shrugged his shoulders. 'But let's not assume anything until they tell us, promise me?'
'Promise.' Aaron replied with uncharacteristic meekness. After all, there was nothing else they could do.
'Now tell me what happened. Everything.'
'Gordon was furious because the police questioned him after my statement and he attacked me again like the other day. But this time I managed to get him off me!'
'He didn't...' Rob's voice was low with anxiety.
'He tried.'
'That fuckin' animal...you mean he...he ...again but he didn't, did he?' His heart froze in his chest. 'You should have let Cain finish him off. Done the world a favour.'
'I told you I threw him off. Don't be such a drama-queen.'
'You threw him off...Right, I've had enough of this. I'm going to go and see him. Make him understand what will happen the next time he messes with my boyfriend and that I'll make him suffer more than Cain did before he dies.' He got up to leave.
'No – please don't...'Aaron grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him down into a kiss.
Distracted temporarily, Rob reciprocated, winding his arms gently around his waist. He wasn't sure if he had permission to go lower, so he didn't.
'That's what he wants...I want us to do this properly, legally.' Aaron explained when they came up for air.
'How can you say that when he's tried to...twice?'
Because I know he won't be stupid enough to try it again.'
'Are you sure?'

'He knows I'm not weaker than him now.' Aaron explained but his next words didn't make Rob feel any better. 'I fought him off but I was still scared of him...Can you believe that?'
'That's only to be expected after what he did...'
'What he did 13 years ago ! 'I'm a man now, so how can he still make me feel like 8 years old again?' He started to cry and hit himself in the chest. Hard.
'Don't.' Rob grabbed his hand and kissed his palm, teasing a little smile out of him.
'Oh, relax. I've haven't self-harmed since I came out of hospital.'
'I know.' Rob knew it was true, Aaron wasn't a liar, not about things as serious as that.
Aaron continued. 'I nearly hit him with that bolt-cutter over there until I realised that's what he wanted. Me to hit him, prove I'm violent (he explained at Rob's puzzled expression) and dangerous. A liar. But that's not the worst – he said he's going to tell the police about Cain!'
Rob shrugged coldly. 'Don't matter.'

'What do you mean it doesn't matter? He's my uncle and he may not be perfect but he could go to prison!'
'You and Chas can deny it. I mean what proof has he got? Two against one...'
'I told him I don't care about Cain! What if he goes and does it and he gets sent down again? He was only trying to protect me even if I don't agree with how he went about it...'
'Cain took precautions, right? Used gloves?'
'Yeah...' Aaron didn't sound so sure...he could barely remember all the details of Gordon's kidnap now.
'Don't worry about it. He's a professional, done this kind of thing loads of times, I bet. I'm more worried about Gordon trying on something with you again.'
'You don't need to. Told you – now I'm well, I can handle him.'
'But you nearly didn't...'
'I told you I'll be fine!' Aaron snapped.
'OK, OK. No need to...But why don't you tell the police?'
'There's no camera in here, that's why! Anyway, they don't even believe you when you've recorded it!'
'You don't know that. Aaron...you should use everything you can against him if you want to beat him.'
'I said I don't want to, allright?'
'Fine. It's your choice.' Rob added pointedly.
Aaron gave him a funny look before he carried on, wanting his boyfriend to understand what exactly had happened and why it bothered him so much. Apart from the obvious, that was.
'For a minute, I fuckin' froze... couldn't move. Couldn't even open my mouth to tell him 'No', not that it would have made any difference. Can you believe that? Was going to let him...'
He words disappeared as he started to rock himself until Rob laid a hand on his shoulder.
'Don't. Don't beat yourself up...He used to rape you for God's sake...You fell back into old habits...'
'I know. But...but maybe...subconsciously...part of me wanted him to.'
'Don't say that!'
'But it's true. It wasn't always so bad. Sometimes it...it felt good.' He blushed furiously and refused to meet his eyes. 'I mean really good. Like it was the only way I could get approval from him, can you believe that?' Rob tried to hide his surprise but he'd heard similar stories, especially in London. Even so, he pushed him to explain himself. 'What do you mean?' Aaron shook his head as the tears fell. 'No, I can't tell you. It's too disgusting.'
'Tell me.'
'You first. What did you mean when you said the other day that you understood how I felt? About what he did to me?'
Rob turned away and sighed. 'Let's forget I said anything, OK? You don't need to know.'
'But I want to know!' Aaron grabbed his face and forced him to look at him. 'Even if it hurts! Because if you really love me and we're going to be together, we've got to trust each other. Completely.'
'It's not that I don't ...'
'So confide in me. I'm strong, I can handle it.'

Rob sighed, wished against the odds that he'd never made that little slip before he gave in.
'You know when I was away working in London?'
'Yeah, I remember. You came back with loads of money and twice as unbearable and up yourself.'
Rob laughed despite himself and it helped break up the tension before his face took on a serious expression again.
'Well, it wasn't all champagne and cocktails, believe me. I lost my job there and never told anyone.'
'Rob! Why didn't you come home?'
'Come back here and tell everyone I failed? Have them laughing at me behind my back?'
At Aaron's confused expression, he explained, 'You're joking, right? Even then, everybody hated my guts. Especially Andy and Katie...'
Aaron cottoned on immediately. 'Rob...' He breathed, 'What did you do to survive?'
Rob shrugged. 'Sold myself. There. Do you hate me now? Do you really want to be with a whore?'
'Nooo...I mean of course I do!' Aaron was shocked despite himself then his voice grew hard. 'What happened?'

'I was with this dodgy escort agency. Should have guessed...I agreed to go with back to some rich wanker's apartment – we were in some pretentious whiskey bar. Next thing I know, I'm waking up with 3 other city men – plus another sleazebag who was an Old Bailey judge - old and ugly as sin. They were pinning me down and 2 of them were inside me at once.
'Oh, Rob...'
'Of course they took photos to buy my silence.' Despite himself, Rob started shaking as he allowed himself to recall the deep shameful secret he kept to himself - the shame and humiliation, not to mention the pain.

'They did everything to me.' Rob managed to get out between agonized sobs. 'S and M, bondage - whips, torture - everything you can imagine and the whole ordeal lasted for 12 hours. They kept me forcing drugs on me for most of it and I kept passing out for God knows how long but I remember the worst parts.'
'O God, Rob...I'm so sorry. Did you ever tell anyone?' Now they'd switched roles and it was Aaron holding Rob, running his fingers through his hair to comfort him.
'You know how you were worried that what your dad did made you gay? I think that's when I started to like guys too... because before that it was just a job, a means to an end that had to be tolerated.'

Aaron stared, his blue eyes shining with un-shed tears.
'I hated myself for letting them 'tip' me after even though it hurt too much to walk for a week afterwards. My soul and dignity apparently is only worth £2000, do you know that? They were decent enough to dump me off at A & E though...' He spat out with bitter sarcasm. 'Surprised my money didn't get pinched as soon as they cut what was left of my clothes off me...'
Aaron winced at the image and then fisted his hands at his side in rage. Rob had time to reflect on how like Cain he looked right then.
'Can we find out who they are? I'll kill them ...'
'No. They're too rich and too well-connected and I'm no-one.' Then Rob ripped off his shirt to his boyfriend's surprise.
'See? I'm just like you. I got scars too, you're not the only one and what happened to both of us is on the outside for everyone to see.'
The pain from the inside is now on the outside too, Aaron thought to himself but didn't say, meeting his eyes briefly.
'Oh, Rob...' He whispered in muted horror before he took a finger to reverently trace the white scar from an expert knife that split one nipple from shoulder diagonally to his perfectly sculpted torso that still gave him a little shiver of desire. It was so faded that if you didn't know what you were looking for, you might miss it from a distance. Now, at least he knew why he hadn't seen the other's body since they got back together.

'So who's the most disgusting? You for getting turned on by your dad sometimes which was just your body's physiological reaction, by the way and doesn't mean that you wanted it or that he wasn't raping you or me for selling myself? Being so stupid to get drugged and gang-raped? When the others always said that things like that were 'hazards of the job'?
'Don't, don't...' Aaron was sobbing now. 'Stop!'
But Robert didn't stop.'You want to see more?' He demanded furiously. 'Maybe the ones they cut into my inner thighs...so faint that you can't see unless you look very carefully. The sick fucks knew how to cut and how to cover their tracks.' Rob said hesitantly as his voice cracked. 'The Judge kept his wig on the whole time and made me call him 'Daddy'. He was the worst.' Aaron felt him tremble in his arms.
Aaron shuddered and held him tighter to reassure him that he did still love him just as much as before and kissed his temple. 'Is that why you wouldn't sleep with me?'
'Partly. But I was mostly thinking of you and the fact that you wanted to for all the wrong reasons because I want it to be perfect when we finally do. You know, maybe it's my punishment for all the evil things I did to Andy and Katie, all the lives I screwed up and all the death and destruction I left in my wake. For trying to kill Paddy...I was really off my head then. And I still didn't learn...ruined Chrissie's life.'
'Looks like she's getting over it.' He replied dryly.
'Still – I deserved it.'
'No you didn't! No-one deserves that done to them!' Aaron started to weep this time. 'I should know!'

'Sh...' Rob tilted his face up and kissed away his tears. 'You crying for me or for you?' He asked when he already knew the answer and wrapped his arms around him. 'So, I do understand, baby. Sort of – they were strangers who did it to me, not my dad but I understand a little of what you're going through.'
'A little?' Aaron whispered unbelievingly. 'Rob...That's awful. Did you ever tell anyone else?'
He shook his head.

Aaron let himself be comforted while he gazed at the bolt-cutter on the desk longingly because for the first time since he'd nearly died, he that old itch again.
The pain from the inside is now on the outside too, his mind repeated insistently because now that they were each half of the same whole - he knew that now, it wasn't just his own pain he was carrying, it was Rob's as well.