Okay, now we're going to take a break from the weird blackrom stuff for a while. I'm sure you're all very disturbed by it. I'm sorry; this is just my interpretation of how it would supposedly work. Although I guess Porrim is just a little too eager.

Meanwhile, on LOTAS, Kankri had finally reached the summit of the mountain with PM. He was mostly unharmed, but she had a few bruises here and there. Leave to Kankri to make others to the hard work, just like a-oh, wait, never mind, Porrim's not here.

"Well, it seems that we have finally reached the t9p," Kankri declared unecessarily. "I w9uld like t9 take the time t9 thank y9u f9r y9ur help s9 far." PM nodded gratefully, too nice to tell Kankri that she could have been triggered by his neglecting to propose a way to repay her somehow. Instead Kankri just hiked up his pants in preparation for the fight.

"Hmm. 6969 appears t9 6e a6sent. It seems I have t9 call f9r him, there6y adhering t9 the triggering myth9s." Kankri took a deep breath and yelled at the top of his voice:

"6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969 6969!"

(Okay, I admit it; I just made Bobo Kankri's Denizen so that I could have him say Bobo a bunch of times. 69 times, in fact.)

Before PM could burst out laughing (you'd be surprised how quickly it takes for Kankri to scream "Bobo" 69 times), a massive apebeast inexplicably appeared. It was huge, hairy, brown-furred, but had no tie saying "DK" on it. Therefore, although we do not have any idea who this mysterious Bobo is (Actually just Bobo from Mst3k), we can at least rule out Donkey Kong.

Bobo slammed his fists into the ground where Kankri was, who dodged only when PM pushed him out of the way. Kankri withdrew his Tazerjets and Knifegun from his sylladex. The Tazerjets hovered around Bobo, firing deadly lazers and WICKED PAPER CUTS YO! Kankri's knives shot into Bobo's thick skin, only wounding him slightly. It would take a lot of mild flesh wounds to take him down.

PM, meanwhile, ran around from behind and whacked him on the hit with her Ivory Bat. Apes, as we all know, respond well to people whacking them on the head to establish superiority. At least they do in Sburb. Bobo shrieked and moaned, swinging his fists into a few of the Tazerjets, destroying them effortlessly. Kankri aimed his Knifegun at Bobo's eyes, but the great ape boss just moved his head out of the way with surprisingly little effort. Bobo opened his hand and sweeped it across the ground, trying to knock him off the mountain. But one of the Tazerjets fired a razor-sharp piece of paper (just go with it, okay?), and Bobo winced briefly from the pain. Kankri acted fast and shot a knife into Bobo's right eye. Bobo screamed from the pain, and while he was trying to resist the pain the Tazerjets fired their lazers into the many mild cuts he had. The searing lasers focused in the open wounds just made Bobo feel even worse. He flailed about blindly before crashing down, unable to hit Kankri because he could hardly see out of his good eye. PM finished the job by clubbing him to death. Bobo then transformed into a massive pile of grist, which Kankri collected. He hiked up his pants when the fight was finished, satisfied with himself.

"If my pants had 6een any l9wer during the c9nflict, I w9uld have easily pr9jected a very pr96lematic 'gangsta' image. Quite triggering." PM rolled her eyes, used to his silly antics by now.

Before either of them could do anything, Bobo suddenly jumped back up to the top of the mountain.

"Strange. I th9ught we had just killed him," Kankri remarked calmly. Bobo did not fight. Instead, he stupidly bared his teeth in a really goofy ape smile and gave an "I Love You" sign in sign language. Or at least what passes for sign language among apes. He then pointed to a sleek chrome spaceship, which was now standing a few feet away.

Kankri was bewildered and of course, somewhat triggered, by these strange occurences, but he dismissed them as mere oddities in the AI of the game constructs. He and PM went inside, and PM manned the controls. They were now ready to head off to the Veil. Not ten minutes out, Kankri put on the sweater Porrim had given him. It was pretty cold in the ship, and there was apparently no way to turn off the AC.

Although they had spotted a few Dersite ships, there were no confrontations; Bobo's ship appeared neutral to them. PM parked on the largest meteor in the Furthest Ring, somehow knowing that it was where Kankri would be ectobiologizing. Following the mail lady inside the meteor, he observed the various equipment needed to fulfill his task.

okaydontworryeverybodyitchysgonnaspeedupforyaandyajustneedtoknowthathedidwhathewassupposedtodoandnowhesgoingbackandhesgothisorbouttolookatthefights!

Kankri gazed into his red orb to see what sort of fights his friends would get in next. He saw two:

In the first one he saw a writhing mass of tentacles, held together by a colorful membrane that crackled with electricity. A troll in a dark green robe with a long hood with crown-like horns was the most aggressive of the 3 trolls surrounding the monstrosity, blasting it with energy from its own mind. A second troll was hovering on purple wings, swinging at the tentacles with its battleaxe to sever the frightening limbs that came too close to the group. And a third troll was looking pretty damn fine in a sexy 69dysuit.

"9h, my...what a triggeringly 6eautiful specimen 9f a tr9ll female...! Latula...never 6ef9re have I had the privelige 9f seeing y9u in the heat 9f 6attle, n9t 9nly pr9ving y9ur...finesse in c9m6at, 6ut als9 willingly displaying y9ur...r9mantically stimulating physical features!"

PM turned around at stared Kankri, a little worried.

"9h, Latlula, if y9ur aim was t9 give me a 69ner...I g9t 9ne!" Kankri whispered this last sentence, taking care not to trigger his company with his disconcerting ogling. But then he watched as Latula fell after the monstrosity slammed her to the ground. The one in the dark green destroyed the tentacle, kissing the wounded girl that had been crushed by it. Kankri couldn't hear much in the orb's visions, but he could make out this exchange:

"Are you okay?"

"1m' f1n3. 1'll k33p f1ght1ng w1th you to th3 v3ry 3nd, Tun4."

"Thank you, Tulip. You're more than I could ask for in a matesprit. I love you."

Kankri fumed at the passionate kiss, feeling very cross and triggered. He decided to foucus on the other vision in his orb:

This one showed Porrim and Horuss, locked in blackrom combat. It also showed Rufioh, ramming Porrim with his deadly horns. Kankri looked concerned as the conflict became a 2-on-1 battle.

"Peregrine Mednicant! I need y9u t9 get me t9 L9TAS, immediately! There's a very seri9us impending altercati9n that has triggered my attenti9n. I must attempt t9 avert it!"

PM didn' really understand the context in which Kankri used the word "triggered", but she did as he instructed, figuring she could finally go home if she just did this one last job. It had been quite a long day, and so much mail still had to be delivered.

She wanted to ask about the other 3 trolls, who had been in more important danger, and if Kankri was willing to let them die. But as we all know, carapacians can't speak! So she said nothing.