Okay...so this is it. Last chapter of my little fic. Just a quick little disclaimer before you read this... the lyrics I used at the begining of this chapter are from Coldplay's song 'Fix You' and do not belong to me in any way...but you guys already knew that : )

Just wanted to take this last opportunity to thank those of you who have reviewed and everyone who has taken the time to read this so far. Hope you all enjoyed the story! And as always: Please review : )

Chapter Twenty

When you try your best but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want but not what you need,
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep,
Stuck in reverse.

Dean wasn't just sleeping… he was full on dreaming. Every nightmare that had ever plagued him in bright bold detail as if he was actually living them over and over again.

And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you can't replace,
When you love someone but it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?

The wails of the ambulance sirens outside the old hotel were baby Sammy's cries as Dean ran out of the burning house when he was four. Countless evil things his father hunted over the years ran through his subconscious as they had when he'd been young. Each and every one ending with his father dying somewhere alone. Then the very real memory of Sammy at Stanford… lying on his back under all those flames… his Jess on the ceiling above him wide-eyed, scared and already beyond help. Their father… with the demon inside of him yellow-eyed and evil trying his damnedest to rip Dean's heart right out of his chest just by looking at him. The hospital… the coma… the out-of-body experience. Sam and the ouija board and trying to convince the reaper to let him live… and then their father… dead.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you...

"Dean… dude you're gonna have to wake up soon. You've been out for three days now. I get that you haven't slept this much in a while…but you're starting to scare me man." Sam's worried voice cut through the dreams, cut through the darkness like a ray of light. Made him want to open his eyes and tell him it he was okay. Was he okay though? He hadn't seen any reapers yet…somehow though that wasn't as comforting a thought as it should have been.

Well high up above or down below,
When you were too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth.

Oh God… what about Dad? Was he okay? Was that why he hadn't seen or heard from any reapers yet? He'd made that deal… a soul and a gun for a life… his life. Sam had been worried about that. About Dean or their Dad having to pay the reaper with a life once the demon was destroyed. Ah, hell. If Dad was dead he didn't want to know. Would rather just stay comatose… or maybe just die himself so he'd never have to face it. Not now, not again. At least here, stuck in his own head his father was alive. Dean's memories keeping him that way. Safe and sound deep within him.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

"Dean." Gentle, insistent hands shaking him lightly. "Hey, Dean! You've got to wake up." Sammy's voice again… trying his best to get an eye flutter… anything that would tell him his brother was pulling out of this… whatever the hell it was. "Dude, don't make me pull out the damned ouija board again!"

Tears stream down your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace,
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Missouri had come and gone countless times over the past week. It had been six…or maybe seven days since the big showdown with the demon. Sam wasn't really sure how long it had been really. Somewhere after day three they had started melding together into one long endless night. Their father had been sent home with Missouri at some point in there. It had been a relief to see his eyes open, to know that he was alive. Small consolation when days later Dean was still unconscious. Perfectly fine… healing even… but comatose for reasons that baffled even the professionals. Was this the demons work? Or was Dean just being the same stubborn jerk he'd always been?

Somewhere around day five the tears had started to fall. Great big fat ones that rolled unchecked down his cheeks whenever he was alone with Dean. The tracks of which were quickly wiped away from the prying eyes of nurses, doctors and Missouri alike… out of deference for what Dean would have wanted if he ever decided to open his damned eyes again. "Come on Sammy… no chick flick moments." Dean's voice in Sam's head… maybe if he threatened the Impala. Might be the nudge his brother needed? Hell, right now he'd try anything. Had even tried an exorcism, just in case they hadn't beaten the damned demon after all. He was desperate.

Tears stream down your face,
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes,
Tears stream down your face,
And I...

Sam wasn't the only who had been crying. Silent tears fell onto the pillow from behind closed lids often during that week. As if finally in sleep Dean was able to let out all the emotion he'd managed to keep hidden away over the years.

The pretty reaper appeared exactly seven days after the demon had been destroyed.

"Hello Dean."

Dean was wide-eyed and scared. So… guess this meant his dad had lived after all then huh?

"Don't, uh, take this the wrong way…but I was kinda hoping not to run into you. Least not for another six decades or so… you know?"

She smiled slow and serious.

"Seems every time we meet I have an important decision for you to make. This one's a little different than the last time though."

Different? Different how? There was death, or you know…death and haunting. Either way it wasn't much of a choice. Kinda left him feeling robbed, having to go now that they were finally all safe.

Sure, the hunting would go on… it would always go on… but now Sam had a decent shot at normal… and hell, maybe now Dad would lighten up a bit and start living for other things than just hunting. He kind of wanted to see that happen. Be a part of it. Maybe even try a little taste of normal himself and see what might come of it…

"Dean…the choice is yours on this one. Life or death."

"What do you mean? I've been living on borrowed time for months now. Since Roy Le Grange switched my life for someone else's… and then after that since Dad made that deal with the demon. You're here to collect what isn't rightfully mine anymore… Right?"

"No, no I'm not. I'm here because for the last week now you've slowly been letting go. There's nothing wrong with you Dean, nothing except that you've lost the will to live. It's time for you to decide now. Are you going to wake up… go back to your brother or are you going to let go and move on?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Dean looked the beautiful brunette over like she was crazy or something.

"Well that's a bit of a no-brainer isn't it?"

Somewhere not so far away he could hear Sam talking to him again… and he didn't sound too happy either.

"Seriously Dean... I swear to God! It's been a week. A whole freaking week since you up and passed out on me man. If you don't wake the hell up I'm going out to the parking lot and taking all my frustrations out on your damned car… and then I'm coming back in here and inviting that hot little nurse that's been all goo-goo eyed over you since you got here out on a date. And when I'm done? I'm going to load Missouri and Dad into the wreck I'll have made of the Impala and I'm going to drag them back here again and we're going to play all that 'emo' chick flick music that you hate so much and wax on about how much we love you and miss you… and yeah man, we're gonna cry. Oh yeah. That's right big brother. You want to wallow like that dude fine by me… but I'm going to do my damndest to pull you out of it before you freaking kill yourself, you hear me?"

He couldn't possibly be serious?

"How do I do it? How do I wake up? Quick… need to do it before he touches my car."

"Just open your eyes Dean. Let go of the hurt, relax and open your eyes."

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

It had been a long shot. The threat against his car among others. Nothing else Sam'd said or done over the last seven days had done a damned thing though so he'd grasped at whatever was left.

Still it was a shock to see long dark eyelashes flutter… full dry lips working as Dean tried to speak… and then the hoarse, sandpapery voice that finally cut through the loud hospital silence. "Dude… you freaking touch my car… I swear…" It was all he'd managed to croak out before his voice gave out but it was enough.

Enough to make Sam laugh so hard he could barely breathe.

Enough for the nurse to come running in to see what the commotion was about.

Enough to send Dean into a coughing fit that had that nurse sitting next to him on the bed with a glass of water in one hand for him to sip, and the other gently stroking his hair…the thought that Sam had been right… she really was hot…registered as he slowly sipped water from the cup to soothe his sore, dry throat.

As soon as he could speak again Dean cocked an eyebrow at the nurse and gave her his slow, smug smile. "So, uh, is that how this works? I cough and beautiful women come running?"

He couldn't wait to hear her answer… except that she didn't… because she had to go help Sam who had taken laughter to a whole new level, falling over his chair and onto the floor from the force of it. The big freak couldn't get himself back up because he was still laughing.

Of course, Dean wasn't complaining… he did get a good look at the nurses…um, assets while she tried to help him up. She caught the direction of his focus on a quick glance over her shoulder and blushed prettily. Squirming a little under Dean's gaze she finally managed to get Sam to his feet… and excused herself before quickly leaving the room. "Aw, great. See that Sam? That was a work of art man… and you scared her away." Sam said nothing. Just kept grinning at him, just plain happy to see Dean's open eyes for a change.

They kept him admitted another twenty four hours. Long enough to get some solid food into him and to be sure there weren't any underlying problems behind his little week-long nap. Also long enough for him to get the hot nurse's phone number. Amanda… Mmm. Blonde, blue eyed bombshell with legs up to there… oh yeah, as soon as that hole in his leg closed up enough for him to walk properly he was going to take her out for a little fun… Winchester style.

"Hey Sam?" They were in the Impala, Sam behind the wheel, driving back to Missouri's. "Yeah?"

"Turn here will ya? We're making a pit stop before heading back. I've got a wicked craving for a cheeseburger and fries… you know real food."

The grin Sam had been wearing since Dean woke up the day before grew as the tires squealed and the car swerved sharply just to be able to make the turn into the drive-thru.

Sunday afternoon they were watching the football game, three Winchester men on Missouri's living room couch yelling at one of the players for fumbling the damned ball. Grunts and groans coming from the springs beneath their heavy frames as they shifted and waved their arms around at the tv. Missouri leaning in the doorway smiling knowingly as she watched them. It was a first for them. A first of many firsts. It warmed her heart to know she'd played a part in it.

"Dean Winchester you get your lazy behind in here this instant!" she called out over the sound of the tv moments later. Another knowing smile gracing her lips as she heard the deep indignant grumble of John's eldest as he slowly got up and shuffled in to see what she wanted from him this time. "What?" he asked, eyes still glued to the tv.

She pointed to the bowl of chips and trail mix on the table, three sweaty bottles of beer filling her hands. Turning to her when there was no actual answer voiced he graced her with a sight few people ever got to see. A look of total but pleasant surprise.

This normal stuff was new territory for him… but he was slipping into it pretty easily. Walking over to her he took advantage of the disadvantage she had with her hands so full. Wrapping strong arms around the woman he hugged her close to show his appreciation… and with a mischievous smile whispered the word 'christo' in her ear. "Boy, you are lucky my hands are full or I'd have…" but Dean didn't hear her finish. He was laughing too hard to hear the words and besides, his back was already to her as he limped back towards the living room hiccupping with the laughter, a bowl in each hand. Missouri followed shaking her head and grinning widely from ear to ear.

It wasn't long before they fell back into old habits. A few days… maybe another week found them pouring over a bunch of newspaper articles at Missouri's kitchen table.

"I don't know…A ghost haunting the library at Stanford? You're joking right? I mean, I spent a good ninety percent of my time there when I was still at school… I would have heard about it. Right?"

"Well what else could it be Sam? Three suspicious deaths over a two week period...and they did just renovate the right wing right? Maybe they woke something up."

So far John hadn't said much of anything. Just watched as Sam typed away at the laptop as he dug up as much history as he could on the building and the school. Taking a deep breath he decided to voice the thought that had come to mind as soon as he'd come across the article in the first place.

"Worst case if it does turn out to be nothing at all, at least you'll be there in time to register for next term."

Both boys heads turned simultaneously. John tried to pretend… really he did. But the look Sam was giving him was just priceless, and Dean… God. His eyes hadn't been saucer-wide like that since he'd been what…? Four?

"Don't look at me like that. If I taught you boys anything it was to finish what you start. Last I heard you had a few years left…"

"But what about you guys? I'm not just taking off again. Not now. Not anymore. What about the job? And all that stuff… about Jess… I mean, I just don't want to face all that again. Hell, I wasn't meant to be a lawyer. I'm a hunter for God's sake."

"Who says you'll be taking off? I'm sure as hell not going anywhere. Dad's right, you should finish what you started at Stanford… but hey, who says we can't hang around there while you do? There's bound to be something to hunt around there… and man, those college girls? Yeah. You're gonna have a hard time trying to get me to leave Sammy."

Sam looked shell shocked at just the thought of going back…even just to take care of the ghost. John was pretty sure he knew why too. "Dean, go get my journal from your car. I think I put something in there that might be helpful on this one…" which was Winchester code for 'I need a minute alone with your brother'.

As soon as they heard the click of the door closing John eyes met and held the ones of his youngest son. "Look I know this is about… Jessica. I'm not going to lie to you son, facing what happened and going back there… it's going to be the hardest thing you'll ever do."

"Then why do it Dad? Hasn't there been enough pain? I don't want to go through that again. Relive it like that."

"Because Sam, this law degree is important to you. Always has been. It's something you need to prove to yourself I think… and you won't be happy, not really, until you have it. You need to know that even though you choose this life, the hunting, you can do the normal stuff too. I'm pretty sure that Jess would see it that way too. She'd want you to be happy. Just like your mom would want us to be happy."

Sam said nothing more. He took the stairs up to the spare bedroom two at a time swearing softly under his breath the whole way and mumbling something about packing up so they could get an early start in the morning.

Years later Sam was sitting in a crowded auditorium surrounded by men and women in dark grad robes smiling proudly to himself. Not just because he'd done it. Managed to finish law school… at the top of his class… with honors… but because they had done it. The Winchesters had come a long, long way.

Dean had dragged him kicking and screaming to the Registrars office after they'd taken care of the spirit in the library. He'd hated him for it at the time… but in the end it had been the right thing to do.

The hunting hadn't stopped, though there seemed to be less out there now. The dust had settled as if evil had gone underground… hibernating while the Winchesters were afoot. Haha, the thought made him laugh every time.

A few months into his first term their Dad cashed in as much as he could from the phony credit cards of the moment. It wasn't much, but it was enough to buy out an old garage and get it running. Dean helped him fix the place up while Sam was at school and by the time second term started they were living in the apartment above the garage and making steady business.

Wasn't long before Dean started fixing up old cars. Sorry, classic cars… said he figured if he was able to work the miracle of bringing his baby back to life after death-by-demon-driven-semi then he could probably make a few bucks doing it for other people. He met his girl that way. She'd been his first customer. Black GTO with a sliver pinstripe down the side beaten to hell by her ex-boyfriend. His older brother always had a thing for the damsels in distress. He fixed up her car… and her ex-boyfriend…nothing yet about rings and white dresses but Sam was pretty sure that glow he'd noticed earlier had something to do with the 'news' his big brother had been hinting about having for them later at the grad barbecue.

There were weekly visits to Harvelle's Roadhouse still… Monthly visits and holidays at Missouri's…Road trips to Bobby's to collect parts for Dad and Dean and of course Sara.

Sara who he'd gone back to see that first summer break because Dean wouldn't leave him alone until he did. Sara who loved the traveling and the adventure of the hunting… Sara who thought Dad was eccentric, and Dean charming… one of a kind she called them and loved them for it instead of in spite of it. Sara who had looked absolutely stunning in white, and even better in the gold band that now never left her ring finger. Ever.

There never would be another woman for their Dad… but he had his boys, his shop, the hunt and that, he was always telling them, was all he needed to be happy. John Winchester happy? Truly happy? He never thought he'd ever see the day. And yet… he was.

So as Sam sat there in the hot, stuffy auditorium… Listening to speech after speech and name after name waiting for his own to be called as he reflected on life… looking back on all the hurt, the pain and the misery they'd suffered… and glancing over at his family… seeing them smiling and happy…

It dawned on him that this was what Dean had tried to tell him so many years ago…

That this was what it was all about…

In the end it was all that was important

Family

A grin split his face as Dean's voice happily humming drifted from somewhere behind him: Metallica.

You're right man.

Nothing else matters.