How did this happen?
Chapter 20
You watch Rachel from your place on her bed. She finally told you the truth about what was going on between Jesse and her. She told you how they used to date but then broke it off because they were too much alike. Of course, that you already knew. She then told you they were really good friend until Jesse wanted to get back together with her. She told you how she explained to him that they were better off being friends. She said it worked for a short while before the stalking started.
It started with more texts each day. Small gifts would be send to her. Flowers, bears, sweet text messages followed soon after that. She told you how she lied to her dads about it all. She told her dads that her and Jesse decided to give it another go.
You can tell she's scared of what will happen. You detect the worry in her voice. You can tell by the look on her face that she's anxious. You know she wishes things were different. She's sad that she lost a friend in Jesse. A friend she used to trust but now only causes her heartache and makes her sad and scared.
You don't know how to react. You try to help, you try to support her while she was telling you all of what had happened. But you can't help but feel your muscles tighten, you can't help but feel anger rising when you hear what she has been going through. You don't like hearing it, you don't like it at all! But then you would look at Rachel and the anger would soon be replaced by sadness. Because your girl looks so heartbroken.
Rachel pulled away from you after telling the story. You're at loss of what to do because of it. You continue to watch her sit on the floor against the wall near her bathroom door. Her head is hanging down and you can tell that she is crying. She wanted to be alone for a while but didn't want you to leave her either. So she just put some distance between the two of you.
You don't know how long it has been. You're afraid to do or say anything in case it upsets her even more. You wish you knew what to do. But you honestly haven't seen this side of Rachel ever before, not this bad anyway. You asked her if you should call someone. You even wanted to call Finn for her but she quickly made you promise not to. That's how you found out that noone knew about Jesse stalking her. She hadn't told anyone before. Not Finn, not Kurt, not even her dads. Noone.
You don't know what to do but that doesn't mean that you want your girl to stay this sad. You don't like it. The Rachel you know smiles. A radiant smile that can light up the darkest rooms. A smile that makes you feel better every time you see it lately. The Rachel you care about so much is never sad. You'll make sure she of it. You might not be used to comforting people, you might not have much experience with this, it won't make you stop from trying.
So, you take a deep breath, softly put your feet on the ground and slowly make your way over to where Rachel is sitting. It breaks your heart to see her like this. Your mind briefly goes to all the times you probably made her feel like this as well. A time when you were horrible to her. You feel guilty, so much. You never knew Rachel could be like this. This sad, this scared. You kneel down in front of her and put your hands tenderly on her knees. You'll try your very best to help her through this, to comfort her.
"Rachel?" you softly say. You don't want to do anything to startle her.
Rachel doesn't reply, she just sniffs and puts her arms tighter around herself. You feel so helpless. "Please, let me help you." You run your hands over the side of her legs and back up, trying to soothe her. "I'm not really good at this." You explain. She might as well know it. "But, please, tell me what I can do to make it better." You try to catch her eyes but she still refuses to look up. "Are you sure you don't want me to call someone?" You'll try anything to comfort her. Even it's someone else besides you bring her that comfort.
"Yes." She whispers. "I don't want to see anyone…" She finally looks up at you. Her eyes red and puffy from crying. "…just you."
You simply nod. "Do you need anything?" You repeat.
She nods sadly. "Can you get me a glass of water, please."
"Of course." You start to get up and move towards the door but just before you can open it she speaks up.
"There is a glass in my bathroom. You can use that one." She tells you. "My dads are downstairs. I don't want them to know."
"Okay." You reply. You move into her bathroom and quickly fill a glass of water for her. "Here ya go." You tell her as you come back, holding out the glass for her. She takes it and quickly finishes the water. She places the glass next to her and looks at you again.
"I'm sorry." She whispers.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, honey." You say as you move back to kneel infront of her.
She nods and you see fresh tears appearing in her eyes. You quickly wipe them away with your thumbs and continue to caress her cheek. "It will be okay." You tell her. "I swear I won't let anything happen to you." You promise her. A promise you'll tend to keep. Nothing can ever happen to her. "You can always call me, any time, any day, and I'll help you with whatever you need, okay?" You feel so protective of her. You never knew you could feel like this. Everything happened so fast.
"That's really sweet of you." She says, letting out a tiny smile before she takes your hand that was resting on her knee.
"I'll protect you in any way I can." And you will. "You're my girl."
Rachel smiles again and moves onto her knees to pull you into a tight hug. You hold onto her securely as she cries again. You feel her fists grabbing your shirt as she pulls you even closer. "It'll be okay." You tell her again. She sighs and lets go of you.
"He scares me sometimes." She whispers, looking at you. "He started following me recently."
You feel your blood starting to boil again. You didn't know it was this bad. "When?" you say as you hold onto her waist, trying to continue to comfort her. You need to stay connected with her one way or another.
"At the mall." Rachel reveals. "When I ran into Brittany and Santana… I was so relieved, I had never been more happy to see them then in that moment." Rachel tells you. "I felt safe knowing that they were with me."
"Why didn't you call me?"
"I thought I could deal with it by myself." She sadly tells you. "And I didn't want to bother you with my problems."
"Hey, you can always tell me when something or someone is bothering you." You say to her. "Please don't hide things like this from me, okay?"
"Okay." She agrees. She slowly leans in and places her lips against yours. You feel tears starting to fall from her face while she deepens the kiss. You place your hands on her cheeks and wipe them away again. Your heart breaks all over again when she ends the kiss and you see the look on her face.
"I'm glad you are here."
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Rach."
"Have you thought about changing your number?"
Rachel and you are laying on her bed again. You're both on your sides, looking at each other. You're sharing the same pillow and your hand is comfortably resting on Rachel's hip. You make sure that you are always touching her somehow.
"I did." Rachel starts. "But I don't want my dads asking questions. A lot of people have my number. I don't want to go to that much trouble to change it. And what if someone asks why I changed it?"
"You could say that your phone was stolen?"
"I know." Rachel sighs. "I just…I wish he would just stop all of this."
"I know but if that stops the texting…"
"Maybe I'll just have to do that." Rachel trails off. She takes a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check. You pull her closer and squeeze her hip to let her know you're here for her.
You think of ways to help your girl. You hope you don't run into Jesse anytime soon! You don't know what you would do if you saw him. Because the way you're feeling right now…you fear for his life. You're sure you would cause him some sort of pain in return for hurting Rachel. You don't want to do things like your father does them but…you have so much pend up anger…
Maybe…, maybe you do hope to run into him, you want to see that bastard and make him pay. But you know that Rachel probably wouldn't like that all to much. And you might regret it afterwards if you really find a way to hurt him. You have to find a way to help her though. So you think about other ways to really help her.
"Hey, what about blocking his number?" That's possible right? You read about that somewhere before, didn't you?
Rachel's head shoots up. "You can block someone's number?"
"I never did it but I'm pretty sure it's possible." You say as you move to sit up. "Can I borrow your laptop?"
Rachel nods. "Sure."
"There!" You say, making the last changes. "No more texts from St. Jerk." You say, handing back Rachel's phone and closing her laptop.
"Thank you, Quinn." She tells you with a relieved smile. She turns the desk chair you are sitting on and leans in to give you a small kiss.
"No need to thank me." You smile back after she pulls away. "I'm happy he won't be able to bother you again."
"By text…I just hope he won't follow me again."
"I hope so too." You really do. You hope that he'll leave her alone but you fear he won't get the message until someone explains it to him. That someone being hopefully you. You think of more and more ways to make him pay. The more you think of it the more angry you get at him. Because you don't like Rachel looking like this. This isn't the Rachel you and everyone are used to. The side of you that wants to hurt him is starting to win the battle inside your head. "Are you okay?" You ask again. It's a stupid question but you can't help but asking.
Rachel sadly nods. "Yes. I just…Jesse was a good friend, you know?" Rachel says. "I just miss him, the way he was before."
You nod. You never really paid much attention to him. Sure, you know him. But you really don't know anything about him. But you know how Rachel feels about her friends. She cherishes all of them. And you know how she must feel after losing someone like Jesse. Someone she used to be able to trust. Someone who she spend a lot of time with.
You spend a few moments in silence before Rachel's phone starts ringing. You see her tense up immediately. What is blocking the number didn't work? What if you did it wrong? You see her take a deep breath before looking down at her phone. But then she smiles. "It's Kurt." She tells you. "Hey, Kurt!" She happily smiles. There's the Rachel you know again. It amazes you how she can go from being sad to happy in seconds. You just hope it's not a mask she puts up.
You watch her as she talks to one of her best friends. She's smiling at whatever he's saying and you have to smile at the sight. "No, I didn't forget…I just… didn't think about it." Rachel tells him. "Of course we're still on!" She says. You wonder what they are talking about. "Kurt, I would never ditch a Gleestar night!" You raise your eyebrows at that. Gleestar night?! "Yes, it's this weekend…!" She smiles in excitement. "At eight, as always, Kurt!" Rachel goes on. "I don't see why I have to send out invitations every time. I gave you all marked calendars! Don't you look at them?" Rachel looks so cute right now.
You get up from your chair and walk towards her, taking her hand in yours. You put her arm around your waist and press her side against your front. Rachel stutters in her sentences because of it. "I…y…yes." You can't help but smirk at the effect you have on her. You pull her even closer and press your lips against her neck. The arm around your waist gripping your shirt as you place soft kisses on her sensitive neck. "I'll…d…do it later, Kurt." Rachel tries to pull away but you won't let her leave. "Stop. It." She mouths to you when you look at her. You just smirk again and kiss her cheek instead, you mouth coming closer and closer to her lips. "Nothing's wrong!" She quickly tells the boy. "But I have to go, my dads need me, I'll call back later."
"Quinn!" She starts as she slaps your arm. "That was risky!"
You laugh. "Why?"
"What if Kurt suspects something?" Rachel asks you. "He's like a bloodhound when it comes to stuff like this."
"I doubt he's going to guess that I was kissing your neck, honey."
"Okay, maybe not but…what are we going to do at school though?"
"We'll talk about that later, first things first." You tell her, sitting down on the bed and pulling her into your lap. "What the heck is a Gleestar Night?" You have to know.
Rachel smiles, all excited again. "Oh! Okay, so, once every month we get together to play singstar on my old PlayStation. And since it's just us Glee kids, we declared it Gleestar Night." Rachel smiles. "It's totally fun and I'm really good at it." Rachel beams.
Just Glee kids? "Hmm, hun, I'm in Glee as well…"
"Oh." Rachel realizes what she just told you. "Don't feel bad, please! It's just, well, it's just us original Glee kids… I mean, the five of us…" Rachel rambles. "They are my closest friends besides Puck, who sometimes come as well…" she trails off.
"Puck gets invited?!" You're surprised that you never heard of this before.
Rachel stands up and comes to stand in front of you. "No, he invited himself one night." Rachel says. You raise your eyebrows at that. "And he came over a couple times more after."
"How did he even know about it then?"
"Finn told him about it."
"Okay…why isn't everyone invited?" You didn't know about these nights. You do understand why you didn't get invited before though. But it sounds like they have a lot of fun during those nights, it sounds as a great thing to do as a group. It sounds nice hanging out, having fun, not having to worry.
"Because…Well, I wanted to, I really did, but we didn't really get along you know?" Rachel tells you. "I wanted it to be a group thing but I don't know… it seemed less stressful to keep it like it was." Rachel goes on. "I just, I was afraid to ask anyone besides my closest friends." Rachel seems nervous telling you this. "Finn and the others, they all know me and accept me. I can be myself with them and I don't have to worry about being mocked, you know?"
"What about Puck?" You don't know how to feel about this. You're sure you are slightly jealous right now. But you know you have no real reason to be upset. You didn't really earn the right to be invited.
"Puck is… well, Puck is Puck…and he didn't make fun of it once, it's actually pretty funny once he gets into it."
"Yes, it does sound like fun, how about I get invited next time?" You smile. You want to be a part of it. You want to be a part of all things Rachel-related.
Rachel places her hands on your shoulders and comes to sit on your legs again, straddling your lap. "That sounds nice…" Rachel trails off. You feel a 'but' coming.
"But?" You ask for her, placing your hands on her waist.
"I kinda made a big deal about noone being allowed to bring your girlfriend of boyfriend to these nights." Rachel tells you. "Kurt wanted to bring Blaine one night but I refused to let him."
"Okay…" You smile. "Why though?"
"Because I didn't want everyone to bring someone and end up feeling alone." Rachel explains. "How was I suppose to know that I would actually have someone to bring to these nights!"
"I still don't see the problem."
"Quinn, didn't you listen to what I just told you?" Rachel pouts.
"Of course I did. But, one, they don't know I'm your girlfriend and two, I'm in Glee with you." You smile. "And, three, I want to be a part of it…if you want me to."
Rachel smiles widely. "Of course I want you to!" She says, grabbing your cheeks and pulling you in for a kiss. "Oh, I can't wait to sing with you!" She places another kiss on your lips. "I wonder how I'll break this to the others?" Rachel questions.
"I'm sure we'll figure something out."
"Wait! Does this mean I have to invite everyone?" Rachel asks you. "Wouldn't it be suspicious if I invite just you all of a sudden. What if they know that we are together? What if I say or do something that will show that we are together? Maybe we shouldn't sing together that night…maybe w-…"
"Rachel, relax." You tell her, rubbing your hands of her thighs. "It will be fine. Noone will suspect anything." You smile. "I won't kiss or touch you and I won't let you say anything or do anything okay?"
Rachel pouts again. It's so adorable.
"What?" you smile.
"No kissing?"
You chuckle. "Nope."
"No snuggling?"
"I guess not." You tell her.
"What are we going to do at school?" She asks you as she runs her hands through your hair.
"I guess act the same. Just talk to each other like we always do without the touching or kissing."
Rachel nods. "You're okay with not telling anyone about us, right?"
You nod in return. "Yes, I'm in no way ready for anyone to know." You honestly tell her. "Besides, I want us to get to know each other more and I want you to be able to get fully used to us before telling anybody else. Because once they know we'll be on full display."
"And, it'll be fun to sneak around with you." Rachel wickedly smiles before leaning in and kissing you again.
Yes, sneaking around will be fun.
TBC
Made the chapter longer because you all had to wait longer for an update this month. Hope you all liked it!