A/N: Gracias por los comentarios! :D

When did I not fix anything? Hmm? Hehe...

Oh, and you'll find out about the nasty thing at the very end… *wink wink*

Enjoy the Huddy!

ABSENCE

CHAPTER 19: LET ME IN

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"To us."

With that final piercing response he closed the door gently and briskly walked away.

He left her alone... again.

She couldn't just stand there with tears streaming down her face, staring at the door the man she loved just exited not more than seven minutes ago!

What was his self-inquired question anyway? Why did getting his answer become based on what her IVF decision was? Said decision, by the way, she didn't even pursue. She only had the Menotropin shots she had Wilson give her, that's all! Why was House reacting strongly about having heard about her IVF decision, anyway? It's not like she went through with it. Of course he could be disappointed that she didn't tell him but really, what was even there to tell?

What the hell did Wilson even say in the voicemail? What did he…

Cuddy, finding reason to move and do something productive swiped her Blackberry from the coffee table and checked Wilson's message. What she heard though put all the missing pieces of the puzzle in place as her eyes widened in shock at House's possible conclusion earlier.

"He thought I went through with it every step!" she mentally gasped. She had to tell him everything, then. She had to make him understand everything. And yes, it definitely did matter if he thought she went through with it.

Of course… The thought of her having some unknown jack-off's child entered his mind when he heard it. Hadn't he even thought that maybe she decided to use his sperm? Did he even remember having left any?

Yes, she was supposed to go through with it but she wanted his child. Nobody else's.

Cuddy palmed her forehead, troubled, when a thought entered her mind. It wasn't impossible but of course he assumed that since she took the shots that she was possibly pregnant already. Add that to her record of dizzy spells the night of the gala, of course he'd connected it to that.

The only problem? She wasn't pregnant!

She had to talk to him.

They were both at fault. Her for not telling him and being stubborn in telling him just that earlier even if he probably wouldn't have listened; him for assuming and deducing she was pregnant when all he had as evidences were her dizzy spells and Wilson's message.

Cuddy collected herself and her thoughts and made her way to her bedroom, changing into the first casual clothes she could find. She grabbed her purse and coat and headed out of the hotel. She had someone hail a cab for her and she instructed the driver to bring her to Quaywest.

Blair's house, 10:00 pm

Seriously woman, you have got to stop thinking of those brown eyes! Blair mentally scolded herself in front of her home office desk. A cup of java in her hands, warming her up, her eyes scanning the budget proposal for the expansion of the Oncology children's ward.

Great, just great. The paper works she was going over was about oncology. Now that's a very much easier way to make her forget of Wilson… not!

Those brown eyes that trailed about her features whenever they were in the same lectures. That caring persona and that look as he gave her half a smile when she catches him looking at her with a soft unguarded exterior. He was nice, a gentleman, sweet, what wasn't to like?

She's tried to make herself believe that it wouldn't work since he'll be here for less than a week! She never believed in long distance relationships.

Who was she kidding?! Based on Wilson's track record of three divorces, a long distance relationship, or if any kind at all, would work!

"Oh God!" Blair groaned, placing her cup on the coaster on her desk. She leant her forehead on the mahogany desk. She usually had no problem with men but why was she being pulled into Wilson's orbit?

She had not the slightest idea why.

"Alright, fine, fine! One date and I'm done!" she yelled out in the confines of her home office, frustrated at not being able to resist that… attractive brown-eyed teddy bear.

House was going to have a field day with this.

God bless his balls if he couldn't keep his tongue in check once he found out.

Blair took hold of her phone and browsed through her contacts, looking for Wilson. She pressed the call button and waited for him to answer. She was not much for texting unless necessary.

"Wilson." The good oncologist answered on the other line, not checking to see who his caller was as he let his eyes remain on the plasma's screen.

"It's Lexi," Blair said, relieved to be able to calm her nerves.

The voice, the name, and the short introduction had Wilson grasping at the remote to mute what he was watching in the span of a millisecond.

"Hey…" Too casual, idiot, Wilson reprimanded himself, shutting an eye at his stupidity.

"Hi," Blair greeted, not hiding the smile on her face since he wouldn't be able to see her do so. She found his causal greeting cute.

Now she's acting like a teenager?! Cute… Lexi, really? Once a giggle escaped her lips she vows to strangle herself to death.

"Wilson---"

"Call me James."

Blair gave a half smile at that. "James…" she started. "I was wondering if your dinner offer still stands…"

Wilson's eyes lit up like a child's in Christmas morning. While she was trailing off, he took advantage and smiling, told her, "Of course. Mark a date and I'll do the rest." Wilson told her. His voice polite and soft, not at all arrogant.

Blair smiled genuinely. "27th?" she suggested.

"27th it is. It's a date." Wilson said with a smile, taking a mental memo of the date.

"Anything you had in mind for dinner?" Wilson considerately asked since he really didn't know much about her food preference like House probably did.

"Anything. Surprise me." Blair said, the corners of her mouth tugging up into a playful smile as butterflies suddenly made an appearance in the pit of her stomach, fluttering there and making her somewhat giddy.

Wilson will possibly be the death of her grownup life, Blair thought, biting her lip to control the ever widening grin on her beautiful face.

"I'll try my best." Wilson promised.

They spoke for a little more until Blair told Wilson she had to finish up something. Wilson let her go and they said their goodnights and goodbyes then hung up.

House's unit 10:30 pm

He has been sitting in his veranda for what seemed like an eternity already. All he could think about was Cuddy; remembering her sitting in between his legs feeding him cake, her smile, her eyes, her kisses, her scent. Every thought that was running through his never-sleeping mind was about her. All his thoughts of her mixed with what has occurred, leaving him confused about what to do and what to feel.

House didn't know what to feel. He was tipping on the edge of livid, disappointed, hurt, and every other bad emotion was trying to eat at him at that moment as he recalled that she may very well be pregnant… not with his child.

That was what his problem was. He knew how it felt being taken care of just because someone was feeling obligated to do so. He knew since he was but a young child that his father wasn't his biological father. If Cuddy was pregnant with somebody else's child and she carried it to term and even gave birth, he honestly couldn't tell if he'd be able to accept the child. He guessed that he'd rather not. He didn't want to be like his father. He wasn't his father.

Why didn't Cuddy just tell him?

House sighed and rubbed his face with his palm. He stood up and walked to his fridge, getting himself water to wet his suddenly parched mouth and throat.

So much for planning to make the most of the days Cuddy and Wilson will be staying there.

House set his empty soda can on the floor and stood up, making his way to his bedroom. He knew for sure sleep won't come to him that night.

Halfway to his bedroom the the bell to his unit rang. He ignored it and continued on his way. It rang a second and a third time before silence filled his empty condominium unit, only to be replaced by loud knocks on the door.

There were only two people who could be knocking on his door at that moment and at that time. Wilson or Cuddy. Although Wilson hasn't been to his pad yet, Cuddy probably told him. But if it was Wilson, House would have heard his name being called already.

It all comes down to Cuddy.

House sighed. As much as he wanted to let her get tired of ringing his doorbell and knocking down his door, he just couldn't.

House walked to his door and looked through the peephole. It was indeed Cuddy.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it House opened the door, instantly meeting her eyes.

"Mind if I come in?" she asked softly.

House opened the door wider and let her in wordlessly. He noticed her face was slightly blotched. She also looked tired. She cried.

He made her cry.

House closed and bolted the door and followed her to the living room where she sat at his wide and spacious couch waiting for him.

"Why?" House asked her, not needing to specify what he was referring to.

She knew he wouldn't sit beside her. Not after what he thought she did. She knew he'd keep his distance. He was slowly going to pull away from her again; She didn't want that.

"I'm not pregnant," she finally spoke, her eyes truthful as she glued them to his.

"I don't really have any say in the matter so why would I care?" he stated, looking away from her. A part of him though, deep down, wanted what she just declared to be the whole truth. If it was indeed true, he owed her an apology.

Cuddy chose to ignore that and instead focused on just telling him everything so they could be okay again. She didn't want them fighting until the conference was over. "I didn't go through with it. The Menotropin shots were as far as I got…" she disclosed, meeting his stunned cerulean eyes. "Wilson was probably just asking if I were ever going to tell you that I thought about trying it again."

Giving him a small, teasing smile, Cuddy informed him, "You're not always right, House."

"So you're really not…" House trailed off, looking at her with slightly relaxed features. Hesitantly he sat on the other end of the couch, little distanced from Cuddy who then faced him, her elbows propped on the throw pillow on her lap.

"I'm not. Wilson told me to at least wait after the seminar," Cuddy started, her voice serious. "I thought of…" she paused, looking at him, wondering whether to tell him or not. Biting her bottom lip in thought she finally decided to add that important fact, hoping his ego would at least go hide for a while. "I thought you weren't ever going to be back after months of not a single news about you. I thought about trying In Vitro again and asked for Wilson's help then—"

"So Wilson already saw your supertanker?" House cut off, his smirk one that Cuddy wanted to wipe off with sandpaper.

"Shut up." She told him, crossing her arms in front of her defensively and made her deliberate telling him that she planned to use the specimen he might have forgotten still was left.

House pouted and then waited for her to continue, anger long lost in his system the moment he allowed himself to trust and believe her words that she wasn't pregnant. But when Cuddy was about to continue, House patted the space beside him, inviting her to sit beside him, maybe inviting her back into his arms as well.

Cuddy gave a relieved, small smile and shuffled to his side, burrowing her face in his neck and wrapping an arm around his waist while her other fell limp on the small space between them. Feeling his warmth made her smile. Him welcoming her into his arms more than said that they were okay again. Cuddy breathed in the scent of him, all male and some scent she forgot and can't place her finger on at that moment. The feeling of just being emotional when hugged so tenderly was overwhelming that she felt moisture in her eyes. She'd give anything to be in his arms like this for the rest of her life. House was, as insane as it sounded to any sane person's ears, the one for her. And she hoped she for him.

House wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her a little more against him and burying his nose in her curls, reveling in feeling her against him again. Unconsciously, he placed a feather light kiss on the crown of her head, causing her to smile up at him, tears evidently accumulating in her gorgeous sapphire eyes.

"What? I know it's horrifying having let Wilson see your rotund ass but you don't have to cry about it!" House joked, wiping at her eye when a lone tear fell from her porcelain face. Cuddy gave a low chuckle and leant into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed, feeling his hand cupping her cheek. They weren't rough as she thought they'd be. Before it would have been callous because of the cane.

After a while of uncharacteristic Houseian sweetness, House let go of her cheek and Cuddy replaced it on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," House whispered, causing Cuddy to once again raise her head to look him straight in the eyes.

"You didn't do anything," Cuddy said, her hand automatically squeezing his bicep in reassurance.

They sat there in relative silence until a thought entered Cuddy's mind. She was hesitant to ask it at first but nevertheless, after him answering her she'd tell him then that it was his child alone that she wanted.

"Did you walk out earlier because I didn't tell you or because you were afraid it was somebody else's?" she asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Squeezing his bicep again and implored him with the mirrors to her soul she said, "Please tell me the truth."

House couldn't deflect or lie to her at that moment. Her eyes mirrored how he could break her heart just by avoiding the question so he took a deep breath and condemned himself to speak the truth for the woman he loved instead of deflecting and scarring her more than he already has in the past.

"Both. But the latter hit a nerve," House answered, his focus on her, his voice in the lowest possible octave his vocal chords can muster. "I couldn't…" House trailed off and then collected himself for a while, scrubbing his face with the palm of his hand. "I didn't… I knew I possibly wouldn't be able to accept any child that isn't half mine." House then managed to say, afterwards severing their connection, his head lowering, his eyes focusing on the floor.

"I thought you wanted me to be happy?" Cuddy asked him curiously. She knew he did. She just wanted to know a little more about his thoughts before she told him she never thought of any other man to be the father of her child.

House looked at her guiltily. "I do." He answered truthfully. "But I knew what it felt like to be looked after out of feeling obligated and I didn't want that with you. You deserve better if you were indeed pregnant with…" House said, not able to finish the statement because he'd end up with the words 'bastard child'.

Cuddy smiled sweetly at House. Her next move rendered him speechless. Straddling him within half a second, Cuddy met his parted lips with her own, kissing him with all the tenderness she could express with her lips as he kissed her back just as tenderly, his hands cupping her nape. Parting for air, Cuddy leant her forehead to his and whispered breathlessly, "You're an idiot."

House guffawed at her words and leant his head back on the couch. "Justify that accusation." He said playfully.

"It's not an accusation, it's a fact." Cuddy cleared. "I was supposed to use the sperm you still had left." She finally divulged, whispering the words that she knew would both make him confused and surprised.

House then looked at her with wide eyes. "Why didn't you go through with it?" he asked quietly.

"Wilson told me to think about it or at least wait until after the conference. If we didn't hear anything from you by then, I would have gone through it all the way." Cuddy answered.

"You had other viable options for a donor, why use mine when it failed you once already?" House silently asked, wanting to ask everything itching on his mind, understanding that drawing his own conclusions would only lead to further arguments and misunderstandings between them.

Cuddy buried her face in the crook of his neck, hugging him tightly like a child wanting to get as close to someone as virtually possible. A few seconds f silence Cuddy answered his question simply, saying, "Yours is the only child I want." She whispered serenely into the silence of the night whilst in the arms of her lover.

House smiled despite himself, kissing the side of her temple lovingly as he slowly ran his hand along her spine. As much as the words she uttered sounded like a smitten teenager's wish, he didn't smirk because what she said made his practically decade-long stoned heart flutter back to life. She was right; he was an idiot. An idiot for even leaving her in the first place, a bigger idiot for running away again over something he didn't understand.

"Thank you," House found himself whispering, giving her another kiss on her temple.

Cuddy raised her head again and looked at him with watery eyes then kissing him. House's hands cupped both sides of her cheek, running his fingers along her face, wiping away some of the tears that fell. "I love you," Cuddy whispered a fraction away from his swollen lips moments later, her eyes closed, just wanting to feel him, his breath touching her lips, his hands caressing her.

House snaked one of his hands to her nape and he leaned forward, nuzzling her cheek, his scruff sending sparks flying through her system. "I love you." House responded, his voice huskily soft.

Cuddy smiled against his lips, sweetly sliding the tip of her nose along his for some time before House finally met her lips for the hundredth time that night, Cuddy smiling at his impatience. Their mouths and tongues mated, no fighting for dominance. They were rediscovering each other's mouth, taking their time to uncover every place like detectives making sure that every spot was checked and searched. Cuddy moaned into his mouth when House sucked passionately on her upper lip then running his hot tongue over it, making tingles run up and down her spine and down to a spot in between her thighs. She shivered shamelessly against him, feeling his smile or his smirk-she wasn't sure which- against her neck as his gifted mouth mapped the length of her neck, gliding back to the curve of her jaw, kissing, nibbling, and softly sucking, her hands running through his hair and his nape all the while sighing lustfully in want and need for him and for things to escalate between them at that moment.

Cuddy moaned and reflexively ground her pelvis against his when House sucked hotly at her jugular, her need for him being ignited with that action alone. House gave a low groan, arousal pouring from his lips which he then used to continue kissing her neck.

House's right hand slid down and securely gripped her rotund bottom, causing her to gasp against his lips while his left wrapped around her waist as he used his might to lift the two of them off the couch. Cuddy wrapped her arms behind his neck when they got upright, clinging onto him while House walked them towards his bedroom. Cuddy's core throbbed and her breathing quickened in anticipation of what they were clearly escalating to with every step House took. She kissed him, not caring if he became unable to guide them to his room and his bed.

Indeed, House, despite having memorized his place already, wasn't able to, for the life of him, find their path even if he tried to keep his eyes open. He opted to pin her to a wall, her legs wrapped high around his waist possessively. Leaning his forehead to hers, House opened his eyes and looked at her, excited for him, for them, for what they were about to do; her eyes closed, chest heaving, face flushed in the most gorgeous pink and her lips swollen from their kissing.

He waited for her to open her eyes before giving her the most serene yet adoring smile he could muster. He was at peace with himself, having her pinned between him and the wall, without the slightest pain at all. He was standing tall and proud that he could carry her without needing anything. He was at peace at being able to be wholly man for her.

Cuddy noticed the gleam of happiness in his eyes and the tranquility in his features all the while their hearts thudded mercilessly in their cavities. She couldn't help herself so she just hugged him, the moment just perfect.

Purely blissful.

Cuddy placed a soft, unadulterated kiss to his neck while House stood there, pinning her, her legs around him. She was happy that he was. Smiling against his neck, Cuddy then laughed and slapped him in the back when House faked dropping her, causing her to squeal in shock. She unsuccessfully glared at him but it was gone as soon as it featured on her face when House kissed her fervently, her hand caressing his cheek, loving how the feel of his neat stubble grazing her palm turned her on. Before long Cuddy ran her hands along the span of House's toned shoulders and down his chest and lower until she reached the hem of his concert tee, pulling it up. How they managed to get that off him without her falling on her ass, they didn't know. Actually it was more like they didn't care for the moment Cuddy's soft hands ran along his skin, House didn't care about anything else but the feel of that and how it made certain parts of him react and the need to satisfy his woman.

Ungluing their kiss-swollen lips, House leaned his head on her collarbone, pecking her there and then gliding his lips upwards. "Cuddy…" he started on a raspy, unintentionally sexy voice, nibbling on her jaw before kissing the spot he nibbled on.

"Yes?" Cuddy queried on a needy sigh, her head tilted back, offering him her neck to lavish attention on.

"Tell me what you want." House smoothly encouraged her to tell him, his passion-stormy oceans connecting with her yearning sapphires which were glimmering in rapture at his recent ministrations.

Cuddy ran her palm across his cheek while she continued to look him in the eyes, her heart content. She ran her index and middle finger down his lips, and stared at those sexy pucker before looking back at his glorious baby blue eyes.

"I want you." Cuddy said on a whisper, pecking him on the lips. "Always you," she pronounced endearingly, meeting his lips yet again and pouring out all the love she could in that zealous kiss.

Her answer made House's heart growl like a proud lion and so he detached them from the wall and he carried her effortlessly to his bedroom. Gently laying her down on the soft bed with her eyes never parting from him, House smiled at her which she readily returned.

"I love you." House whispered before enclosing her luscious lips with his.

Cuddy answered by pulling his head towards her even more, deepening their kiss.

Pulling away for air Cuddy looked up at House after a lone tear escaped her eye. She couldn't believe they were at this point now. And she couldn't believe how far they've gone and how far more they had to go through. But with him, finally being with him, she was prepared to fight for them. Less than twenty years of foreplay is enough. Fate agreed with them this time, and Cuddy was glad that it was their time, now.

She whispered her pleading heart's wish to him before he could kiss her again, running her fingers across his hair, "Don't ever leave me again." She said, her eyes locked onto his azure gaze.

House closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before looking through her soul and promising her, "Never."

A/N: Hope this was worth the wait!

Please leave some love and sugar, and or frustration at where I left it.

Oh, and about that NASTY spoiler from last chapter… well, it started here and will be continued in the next chapter. ;)

Needless to say, SMUT won the poll… I hope you smuddicts are happy! Haha… I'm a smuddict too, ;) …