I want to give the world's largest apology. I haven't posted in such a long time, and its frustrated me so much. My life flipped a little a few months back and I struggled to write, along side just not being able to motivate myself. BUT I promise that I am back and will be posting as much as possible over the next few weeks to make it up to you!

I'm so embarrassed so I sorry once again!

I want to thank everyone who has read and stuck with this over the break as well, thank you!

Here it is though, the next installment, please let me know what you think, especially if its awful I would like to know, I have my big planes all written out and ready so, lets do this!

Chapter 19 – Deeper Shade of Red

It had been a whole day since Todd had woken up fearing the worst, and had been greeted with kindness. So much had happened too, to keep her mind from wandering back to where it shouldn't have been. The eagles had returned and carried them to an easier place to get down from. The Carrock they called it. It was a massive singular rocky peak near the edge of the Misty Mountains. From a distance away, the looming peak held the rather crude shape of a bear. A hulking, open jawed bear at that, the silhouette of it on the horizon gave Todd the slightest tingly of foreshadowment but she lost the feeling as soon as it came. With Gandalf at the lead once again, upon the Carrock, stairs could be found, that wound down the side to the base. The stairs were relatively steep, meaning that Todd had to hold on for dear life due to the fact that she was extremely uneasy on her feet still.

Todd had managed to let her body heal well since waking the first time after their near death experience. She had rested and not exerted herself again, her body taking the pause in walking and fighting to speed up the healing process. Her back, or what was left of it, was healing quickly, yet was still weeping blood and nastiness, just not as badly as before. Oin reckoned it would be healed completely within the week. Todd was glad, she couldn't be dealing with the pain of the skin closing up and the continuing loss of blood for any longer than that. Therefore, with her back in the delicate state that it was, she was heavily relying on Bilbo and Bombur whilst navigating the stairs. Bofur was right behind them carrying her things.

For every step, she had Bilbo turning back to take her hands, Bombur keeping a tight hold of under her arms as she lowered herself down each step. It was a painfully slow process, yet only because it was so painful. After one particular jarring step down, Todd paused and bent herself over, tentatively stretching out her back and taking in a deep breath at the same time

"You ok?" Bilbo asked gently, he had a way of making sure she was alright, by not drawing attention like the others did. They were always so loud with their questions and observations in her recovery, it drove her a little to distraction. Although she was proud with her bravery, at standing up to those heinous Goblins and protecting her friends. She was embarrassed that she had sustained the injuries she had. She was extremely aware that she was a burden, again. Even though Bofur was adamant that she wasn't anything like a burden to them, she had a feeling that was just his opinion.

Bofur had been a true hero. He had let her keep his hat firmly placed on her head. Its very presence was a balm, it took the pain away, or more correctly kept a lid on the pain of loosing the innocence she had kept with her hair. She was a dirty woman now, and having him let her keep his hat for her own misgivings meant more to her than words could ever describe. Every time she thought about his actions of giving her his hat, it made her cheeks flush a vibrant pink that had Bilbo checking her forehead of signs of fevers. Just that morning she had woken up and it had fallen off in her fitful sleep, she had immediately freaked, grabbing for it and ramming it back atop her head.

"I'm good!" She weezed. "Just need to catch up to them"

"No need to rush, those eagles have put us back on track!" Bombur chuckled, trying to make light of her worry of holding them back.

"Yeah, but…" She let her retort fall from her lips and she huffed and set to it again, catching Bilbo off guard as she slumped herself down the next step, hissing as she went. Bilbo went to help her again she pushed herself forward to tackle the next step, completely ignoring the shooting pains up her back.

"Todd!" The stern voice had her pulled from her determination, her head whipped round to face Bofur,. Wild red hair flying out around her. "Relax, you will only do yourself another mischief, hey?"

She looked into his eyes, seeing that he was half worried for her and half berating her at the same time. She felt the need to roll her eyes at him, but nodded and took the time to let Bilbo and Bombur help her down the rest of the way. Bofur, content with his order and how she listened to him, ignored the look he received from both Bilbo and his Brother and continued down after them.

The others reached the bottom at least an hour before they did. She winced once they reached the bottom, seeing everyone sat around waiting. She apologized a good five times before Balin told her to stop. They set off then at a slow pace, one that now they were on a more level ground Todd could walk at a faster pace, of course now she had her arm folded over Bilbo's to keep her steady. Bofur had slowly moved to chat next to her, his normally energetic pace slowed down to match her own, she wasn't sure when it happened either, maybe Bilbo had had to pass her onto Bofur to relieve himself in the woods up ahead, but she found herself with her arm folded over Bofur's before long. She had smiled when she realized, reveling in the fact that he was never far. They chatted, mostly about the adventure, but Todd was still highly fascinated with his life before the company. He spun her wild stories of his childhood along side Bombur and Bifur. Bombur and Bilbo adding their input every now and again. She had hardly even realized that the sun had begun setting again and the rest of the company had slowed down to an idle pace, waiting for their leader to give the command to stop for the night.

When the command came they were nestled in the nook of a copse of trees, with a few jutting rocks behind them. They had been hugging the miniature rock wall all day, hoping it would lead them up and in the right direction to navigate the Great Greenwood.

"Halt!" Came the voice they had been waiting for. Todd let out a shaky but relieved sigh, she had made it, with her back only aching insignificantly in the back of her mind. The much flatter terrain was doing wonders along side her rapid healing.

"I want no fires tonight!" Thorin cut just as Oin and Gloin dropped their bags ready to set a fire pit, as their usual job would entail. Todd watched them look to each other with pure shock them witherance. Once Bofur had excused himself to help Bombur with the food, Todd hovered at the edge again, not sure of where to put herself. She noticed then that a few of the others were keeping their distance from her, and she was getting a little paranoid. The company muttered and chattered to each other as Todd let her hands drift to her hair, her new nervous habit.

She let her thoughts whirl, her theories of some of the dwarves being put off by her dirtied state, seeing her nothing more than an unwanted piece of dirt. Dwalin and Balin had sent her glances, and nod with smiles, but they hadn't engaged in conversation like they had been before the tunnels. Nori hadn't enquired about the little games they had been playing on the others too, and she was sure that Ori was too uncertain as to what to say, and was therefore avoiding her. The Ur family and Bilbo were the only ones so far to show her that they didn't care in the slightest. Yet she was certain that even them, deep down were hiding their ill feelings towards her now sullied self. It was so extremely unfair though, she never wanted it, and certainly never asked for this

She let her eyes drift over everyone's faces and sighed again, yet she jumped at the feel of someone coming up behind her.

"You look more nervous now than you did when you first met us" Kili smirked.

"I do?" She asked dumbly, she knew it too of course.

"Were not going to cook you for dinner, Todd!" Fili then said appearing at her other side.

"I know, its just, I feel different and I feel like I have to fight to fit in again…" She gushed, her lapse in self-control surprising herself. She had hoped that she had just spoken the words in her head. Yet by the looks on the brother's faces, they had definitely heard her. Fili's eyes took on a pitying nature and Kili looked confused for a second before catching on.

"Well, I don't think you're any different." He tried. Placing a hand on her shoulder and his face falling a little when she winced. "Well, you look a bit different, you have a nice hat now!"

"That she does!" Fili jumped at the chance to talk about Bofur, realizing it was probably the only way they would cheer her up again. "You seem to get on with our dear Bofur quite nicely"

"I do, he is very easy to talk to." She smiled, her eyes looking to her hands. Fili nudged Kili and they shared a smirk when she wasn't looking.

"Very well actually dearest Brother." Kili added, his voice taking a bit of a dramatic flare. Todd looked to him and caught his smirk, her eyes widening a little, then darting to Fili matching smirk. A large blush crept up over her cheeks, only making the lads push on. Fili slung his arm over her shoulder, Kili moving to do the same on her other side.

"He is such a fine Dwarrow." Kili began, looking to Fili.

"Of course Brother, he is always there for our Todd, cheering her up and making her smile, don't think we hadn't noticed!" Fili smiled.

"Oh yes, he is a fine dwarrow indeed, with his singing and battle prowess. He is a catch worthy of any dwarrowdam!" Kili beamed, winking at Todd who had been trying to catch up with their line of thought. The lads chuckled at her innocence to her own situation.

"The hat really does suit you, don't you think Brother!" Fili concluded.

"Of course, I've never seen him give up his hat for anyone before our dear Todd here!" Kili added.

"Tell us dearest fearless Todd, why the blushing?" They said together, like they had planned the very sentence ten times together before coming to her. She couldn't help but feel her face flush hotter.

"Boys!" She moaned trying to playfully hit at them. Her mind raced for a second, why was she getting so flustered. Her mind jumped and realized they were accusing her of holding feelings a lot deeper than friendship towards Bofur. She tried to form an argument in her head, but found herself coming up short. Warm sensation filled the bottom of her stomach and the more and more she thought about it, the further it spread. She had heard her Mother talk about things like this, especially in stories about how her and her Father met. She went to rebuff, but she only managed to suck in a breath as if to begin, but fell short. The lads waited with big smiles across their faces. They watched as the dawning of realization set across Todd's face, and her color turn from the already bright red to a deep shade of purple, anyone would have thought she was bruised.